The Baby Mistake

by J. L. Beck

  The hours go by at a snail’s pace, and since I had a lot of paperwork that needed sorted, faxed, and documents signed, I’ve been in my office most of the day while she was out on the floor.

  I decide to call her in early, the need to be closer to her consuming me. I don’t want to just jump her, but I need to kiss her. I need to feel her hands against my skin. She’d chosen me as the man she wanted to give herself to, and I want to make certain she knows I’ll take care of her.

  “Ava,” I call her name, watching as her eyes lift from the paperwork she is sorting. Those dark whiskey eyes hold more than one secret, I’m certain. We didn’t meet under the most conventional of terms, me losing my father, and her going through her own things, but I am going to make it worth it for her.

  She stands, smoothing out the wrinkles on her skirt, and walking over to me, her legs wobbly. I can see the anxious look in her eyes as she enters my office. I close the door, closing us inside together.

  I have the basket on the desk and a blanket on the floor with a spread of food. Champagne and the glasses rest next to the food, and I know she is shocked when she takes in the sight of all that I have done.

  “You did all this?” Her gasp is audible, and it makes me smile.

  “I sure did. I wanted lunch to be perfect for you.” I hold my hands together, even as they itch to reach out and touch her creamy white skin. Her eyes scan over each object, and I swear I see tears well in her eyes.

  “You didn’t have to do this, Ryker. You don’t owe me anything.”

  “I know I don’t, and I didn’t do this because I owe you something. I did this because I wanted to. Because you deserve the best.” She shakes her head softly, bright blonde curls breaking free from behind her ears, and I cross the small space that separates us. I brush them from her eyes and cup her by the cheek, my thumb running across her lips.

  They’re soft, plump, and tempt me in a way no other woman’s lips have tempted me before. I feel the shiver that my touch brings her and I want to feel it again and again. I want to run my fingers through her hair and feel the beat of her heart against my own.

  I want to own her, to make her feel the way I’ve felt every single day since she left me that night in the hotel room alone.

  “You’re everything, Ava...everything,” I whisper softly, leaning into her face. I can hear her heavy breathing and see the dilation of her eyes. She wants me to kiss her just as badly as I want to, and I decide then that I will.

  Leaning in until I’m a breath away from her lips I whisper, “Can I kiss you?” She doesn’t say anything for a long second, her eyes moving from mine and down to my lips and back again. It’s then that she nods her head yes, her gulp noticeable.

  I take her nod for permission and press my lips against hers ever so gently. A moan of pleasure escapes both of us, filling the room with noise. Electricity flows through my veins, slamming into my groin and making my cock harder than steel at the softness of her body nestled against mine.

  I feel her small hands mapping out my arms and making their way up my chest. They blaze a path of heat and need that only she can extinguish.

  I want her. I need her. She’s a hunger I’ll never be able to feed.

  Her fingers grip onto my arms and I hold her, my lips devouring hers. I kiss her with a furious need, an all-consuming want.

  She pulls away slightly, her cheeks pink and her eyes soft. Her features are fragile, so fragile I’m afraid if I make the wrong move I might break some part of her.

  “Ryker we can’t do this… I have to…” She trails off as I grip her chin in my hands, forcing her eyes to meet mine. I know she’s scared, worried, terrified that something bad is going to happen. It’s in the way she’s begun to lock up. The walls around her heart are rising, and I have to tell her I know. I have to.

  “I already know.” I let the words out with ease, feeling as if an elephant has been lifted off my chest. Ava’s eyes go wide, and she tries to pull away from me, her body going stiff like a rabbit that’s been caught in a trap.

  “What...What do you know?” she stammers, panic easing into her features. I pull her against my chest, feeling the frantic beat of her heart.

  I release a breath and then start. “I know who you are. I know that you’re the girl of my dreams. The woman from the bar, from the night in the hotel. I know it’s you, and I can’t hide that I know it any longer.”

  She squirms in my arms, and panic consumes me for a second. What if she isn’t the girl from the bar?

  “How...how do you know…?”

  A burst of laughter escapes me.

  “I know, Ava. I know because I feel it in my chest when you grow near. I feel this electricity flow through my veins. I feel this need to be wherever you are without any understanding of why.” Ava looks as if she doesn’t believe me, and I can understand why, but I need her to.

  “You have nothing to be worried about, Ava.” I hold her cheeks in my hands and stare deeply into her eyes, feeling that connection snap into place. It’s as if I’ve found my soulmate, the other half to my heart.

  “Ryker…” Ava starts, and before either of us can get a word out, the door to my office is being opened. Reed’s big-ass head pops inside.

  “I hope I’m not interrupting anything, but Fallon is in labor. I just thought I would tell you.” The smile on Reed’s face is intoxicating, and I find myself smiling right along with him.

  “Congratulations, brother!” I exclaim.

  “Do you want to come up to the hospital with me? I’m so nervous.”

  I nod, releasing Ava, but not before pressing my lips to hers again.

  “Do you want to come with us?” I ask her, but she shakes her head, a shyness filling her features as Reed looms in the doorway.

  “No. I have a ton of work to do, but thank you for the offer. Congratulations, Reed.” She gives him a small smile, and I hate how she seems more like that timid rabbit all over again.

  “Thank you, Ava.”

  “This conversation isn’t over, okay?” Her eyes divert to the floor, but she has to know she won’t be getting off the hook that easily. I’ve got plans for us, but first I have to make her see how much she means to me.

  “Come on...let’s go.” Reed’s voice rises a bit, and I know he’s panicked. His wife is in labor, and he’s still here at the office.

  I turn on my heels and grab my coat off the coat rack. Ava doesn’t move from the spot I left her in and as I head toward the door that Reed just disappeared from. I look at her over my shoulder and say, “This isn’t the end, Ava. Not by a long shot.”

  And as I step out of the room, I swear I see fear well in those perfect whiskey-colored eyes, and I’m determined to do whatever I can to make her believe that I want her.

  “This isn’t the end, Ava. Not by a long shot.” Ryker’s words stick with me all afternoon, leaving an anxious knot in my belly. I never meant for any of this to happen, and now that he knows who I am, I should probably just start packing up my desk. It doesn’t matter that he kissed me like a man starved of life. It doesn’t matter that he looks at me with so much tender adoration it makes me weak in the knees.

  This will never work between us, not now, and especially not when I tell him about the growing baby in my belly. I hold my invisible bump, my hand resting low on my belly. I have no one to talk to about the things going on in my life. I’ve never felt so alone, and I almost sag to the floor and crawl into a ball beneath my desk, but then I think about what would happen if Andi saw me.

  It’d be yet another rumor to be spread.

  Feeling the tears well in my eyes, I know what I have to do. The idea of seeing my mother under these circumstances isn’t something I really want to do. But with Marie acting strange and Gabby visiting her brother, I have nowhere else to go.

  Between phone calls and sorting paperwork, I text my mother, letting her know I’ll be stopping by later. It’s probably best that I tell her about the baby now, rather than later, so at
least she knows what to expect when I’m forced to move back in with her because I have no job.

  I’m almost finished alphabetizing one stack of files when I see Dexter making his way over to my desk with an evil smirk on his face that makes my pulse race. I cringe inwardly, wondering what the hell he could want.

  He’s Ryker’s assistant manager of the floor and his very presence makes me feel slimy. I catch Andi staring at me as he makes his way over to my desk, and I have half a mind to flip her off. Since day one she’s been a pain in the ass.

  “Ava,” he greets me, the sickening smirk on his face widening. I almost shake out of my skin. Some people might think the guy is attractive in a nerdy I-like-numbers-but-still-live-in-my-mom’s-basement way, yet he rubs me the wrong way. The fact he seems to be in cahoots with Andi only magnifies the feeling.

  “Dexter. How can I help you?” I smile, trying to hide the uneasiness that’s swarming me. He moves closer to my desk, and I watch as his eyes dart between Andi and me.

  What is he doing? Did she set me up for something somehow? The possibilities are endless, and my panic rises.

  “There’s been some rumors circulating that maybe you’re pregnant?” He says the words so smoothly, so slowly, that it’s like he’s trying to convince me to believe his lie. I blink, my eyes going wide. “I know you spend a lot of time with Ryker, and I want to let you know that boss and employee relationships are extremely forbidden in the workplace.”

  I can’t help the look on my face, not even if I tried. My mouth pops open in disbelief, and I can’t actually believe that this asshole said what he did. I struggle to close my mouth, unable to form an intelligent word to say.

  I can tell he thinks what he’s said is funny, a small smile forming on his lips, and I want to slap him. I want to slap Andi, too, then run as far away from this place as I can get, but I can’t. This is my job, at least for now, and I have to put this asshole in his place, otherwise I’ll be dealing with this forever.

  “Rumors are just that, Dexter—rumors. And unless you’d like me to file a sexual harassment complaint with Reed, I would suggest you leave me alone.” I try my damnedest to hide the effect that his question has on my emotions. I’ve dealt with a lot of stuff in my life, but never someone accusing me of fucking my boss. We haven’t “fucked” since the night at the bar, and back then, I didn’t even know he was going to be my boss.

  The smug look on Dexter’s face turns sour as he backs away from my desk with his hands in the air as if to say he’s innocent. We both know he’s anything but.

  “No, uh, that won’t be necessary. I just wanted to make sure you understood the contract you signed.”

  I grind my teeth together, a growl escaping my lips. “I’m well aware of the contract I signed, and I don’t appreciate being harassed in the workplace, so please, leave me alone.”

  Anger forms in his features, but he continues to back away from my desk. I look at the time on the computer and decide to call it quits for the day. I’ve been working overtime this past week and could really use some time away from this place that has reminders of him everywhere to gather my thoughts. Between Ryker, Dexter, and the secrets Marie is keeping, I’m starting to feel like my life is its own personal soap opera with yours truly as the star.

  I send Ryker a quick text telling him I’m leaving the office for the day and gather my belongings. As I hit send, an incoming message from my mom tells me to stop by on my way home. I smile, feeling a little better, even though the Dexter question knocked me on my ass.

  Maybe my mother will have some advice that will be useful. God knows I haven’t been making the best choices lately.

  I walk away from my desk and close up Ryker’s office, wondering if this will be the last time I see this place. Is he going to let me go now that he knows who I am? Surely things are going to change. Right?

  We’ve gotten one secret out of the way, but the question is, how long can I hold the second one in?

  The smell of freshly baked bread fills my nostrils as I walk through the door of my mother’s small two-bedroom cottage. It’s the same one she raised me in, and being here brings back all the memories of my childhood—the good and the bad.

  Looking at my mother, I know I must’ve gotten my fair skin and blonde hair from my father, since my mother looks nothing like me, at least not in the physical sense. Her hair is dark, almost black, and her skin is tan, the color of mocha.

  When she notices me standing in the kitchen, she smiles.

  “Hi, sweetie.” I can’t stop myself from walking over to her and wrapping her in a tight hug. Our shoulders touch, and she returns the hug, making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

  Pulling back slightly, her eyes move across my face and she studies me closely. “What’s going on? You seem tense, like something is weighing on your mind.”

  It’s freaky how moms can do that. She hasn’t seen me for a while, but the moment I’m standing in front of her, she can read every emotion in less than a heartbeat. This news isn’t anything I want to tell her, but I need to talk to someone, considering my two best friends seem to have disappeared on me—Gabby to spend time with her brother, and Marie, well, she’s just acting so weird about Ryker and his brothers, I can’t trust any advice she gives me.

  Seeing the conflict on my face as I think, Mom takes my hand and leads me over to her overstuffed couch, pulling me down to sit beside her. Our knees touch when she turns slightly to face me, and the concern on hers has me spilling my guts before I make the decision to do so.

  “I met a guy.” She gasps, the joy on her face making me feel worse about what I’m about to tell her than I already do. “God, Mom, I’ve made such a mess.” I look down at my hands where they’re clenched in my lap and try to gather my thoughts.

  Her hand covers mine, and when I look up at her, she’s watching me carefully. “Made a mess how, baby?”

  I can’t sit here and tell her. There’s too much nervous energy coursing through my body. Standing, I start pacing back and forth in front of her as I tell her about the night we met, how I got drunk and had sex with a guy I didn’t know, then ran away the next morning. I refuse to look over at her, because I’m afraid I’m going to see disappointment in her eyes. Instead, I continue my tale, telling her how it turns out he’s my new boss and how he was an asshole the very time we met, but that he’s different now, sweeter and more caring.

  “Okay,” she starts, the confusion in her voice clear. “I’m not very happy about the way he treated you, but it sounds like he’s trying to make up for those earlier actions, and that’s a good thing, honey.”

  I’ve never understood how she can be so positive all the time, after everything that’s happened to her. It’s part of the reason we don’t always get along. She forgives too easily, while I don’t forgive for a long time, providing I forgive someone at all.

  “That’s not all.” Taking a deep breath, I brace myself for what her reaction is going to be. Even with as positive as she is, I don’t think there’s a way to spin this situation around so it seems like a good thing. My hands go unconsciously to cradle my stomach, and when she makes a squealing sound, I finally look over at her. She’s covering her mouth with her hands, her eyes locked on mine where they’re covering the baby who is still so tiny.

  “I’m pregnant, Mom.” Just saying the words has tears filling my eyes, and I watch as her own overflow, trailing down her cheeks unchecked. I’m frozen in place now, waiting for her to pass judgment. I never wanted this, at least not right now, but there isn’t anything I can do about what’s already been done.

  I don’t get the chance to say anything else, and maybe she doesn’t want to hear it because she gets up, rushing over to me to wrap her arms back around me, piecing the broken pieces back together. She holds me, rocking us back and forth in the middle of the living room. The comfort of her embrace makes holding back my emotions impossible, and I bury my face into her shoulder as I start to sob. And she continues to hold
me, squeezing me tightly against her chest while letting me use her as a tissue.

  After a few minutes, I pull away, wiping at my tear-streaked cheeks. “Is this man the father?” I nod my head, my mother’s hands resting on my shoulders holding me in place.

  “It is, and I haven’t told him yet, and I’m terrified, Momma. I’m scared to death of what’s going to happen, and I don’t want to do this alone.”

  Her hands come up to cup my cheeks, and she comforts me, saying, “No matter what happens, you won’t be alone. You have me, and you know Gabby and Marie are going to be the world’s most involved aunts.”

  The mention of Marie has me in tears again. “I don’t know if Marie will even be speaking to me by the time this baby is born. She hates Ryker and his brothers, but she won’t tell me why. Mom, she doesn’t even know them. How can she feel so strongly against them? It doesn’t make any sense.” I shake my head, my emotions taking over.

  “I’m sure she has a good reason, Ava. The two of you have been friends for a long time. Just give her a little space, and I’m positive she’ll open up to you when she’s ready.” The reassurance makes me feel a little better, but Mom’s not finished yet. “In the meantime, you need to be taking care of yourself and this little person you’re carrying inside you.”

  Wrapping an arm around my shoulders, she leads me back into the kitchen. After getting me settled at the counter, she starts rummaging around the fridge, finally pulling out a deli package of thick-sliced cheese. She sets it, along with a loaf of homemade bread and a container of softened butter, next to the stove and pulls down a flat pan.

  It doesn’t take long for her to make them, and when she sets a perfectly browned grilled cheese down in front of me, my stomach growls loudly. “Comfort food,” she tells me with a soft smile. “I think I lived on grilled cheese and peanut butter sandwiches when I was pregnant with you.”

  We sit in companionable silence eating our food, talking about everything but the bomb I just dropped on her. She tells me stories about the crazy people who come into the ER where she works, the insane things people stick inside their bodies, and the lies they tell trying to keep the doctors and nurses from finding out exactly what’s wrong.