by R. J. Lewis
He smiled against my mouth and, in a low, spine tingling voice, sang,
“I want to butter your bread,
with my pointy butter knife.
Til it’s dripping off your bun,
This salty elixir of life.”
I stilled and groaned in dismay. “Oh, my God, that sucked so badly, Carter.”
He laughed. “I never said it would be good!”
“Even calling it bad is a compliment. You should be very embarrassed of yourself.”
“I’m embarrassed for you for even hearing it.”
“Your salty elixir of life?”
“You know, my come –”
“I know what you meant! Don’t… don’t make my ears bleed. Christ.”
“I’m not. You brought it up!”
I laughed and he looked down at me, his eyes sparkling with life. In this moment, he was beyond happy. His smile was large, brightening his face, adding dimples in his cheeks. It was a rarity seeing him like this. I never wanted to forget it.
“Tell me how I can redeem myself then,” he told me, his hand still settled between my legs. I glimpsed down his neck and to his protruding trapezoids. The muscles looked strained along his shoulders, and his large biceps had this sexy ass vein sticking out that, for some weird reason, made it sexier to look at.
“Someone as sexy as you doesn’t need to redeem himself with music,” I told him. “You could sing about tampons and it’d be the best song in the freaking world.”
When he opened his mouth, I immediately clamped it shut with my hand. “And please,” I added sternly, “do not sing about tampons.”
His body shook with laughter again. He kissed my hand away and motioned down my body. “I want to redeem myself by sucking your pussy ‘til it’s exploding in my mouth. How about that?”
My heart stopped, went what-the-fuck in my ribcage, and kick-started again. “How about you give me more than your mouth?”
He paused, his eyes boring into mine, realizing exactly what I meant. If ever there were words enough to destroy a fun situation, they were those ones apparently.
“I’m not sure we should go so far,” he whispered to me, pinching his brows together.
“Why? We’ve done everything but.”
“That’s a huge step.”
“For who exactly?”
He just blinked at me, his mouth firmly shut.
“Talk to me, Carter,” I pressed gently, looking deep in his eyes. “Help me understand.”
“I already told you,” he returned solemnly, “I’m a fuck-up, and I’ll find a way to fuck this up. I can’t stand the thought of not having you in my life. I don’t want to ruin you, or us. I like what we are as it is. Sex… would complicate things.”
“But everything else we’ve done hasn’t?”
He sighed, looking about my face thoughtfully. “It’s not all that personal. Sex would be.”
Now I was really struggling to understand. “You’ve had sex with girls before. You told me many times it was never personal.”
“Yeah,” he agreed carefully, stalling a moment before adding, “but sex… with you would be.”
There was so much about that statement I wanted to ask. Like, what are you so afraid of? Why don’t you want to make it personal?
“Are you worried about me?” I wondered. “You think I’m going to get attached?”
He shrugged. “We’ve practically grown up together. There’s a lot of familiarity there. So it might happen.”
“And that would be bad?”
“Only because you might start wanting more, and I’m not capable of that.”
What made him think he wasn’t capable of that? I stared at him longer, trying to figure him out. There were so many parts of him he’d shut away from me, issues he was obviously facing alone. I wanted him to involve me, bring me into his head where the truth to the way he was lurked.
“What did I say before?” I eventually replied. “I said to trust what I want. I’m a big girl, and after everything I’ve had to go through growing up, don’t you know I’m tough as nails? I can look after myself.”
It took everything in me to sound convincing. He just stared, studying me closely. He opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it, as though he changed his mind. I suddenly wondered what it was we were trying to agree on. I thought we were already friends with benefits. Why did he make it seem like we hadn’t encroached on that territory?
At that point, I didn’t think anything would change if he took it further. He already used his mouth and fingers to make me come, so what if it was his dick this time? It was just another means to get there, right?
“Fuck,” he muttered weakly, his eyes drawn to my mouth when I’d licked it. “You’re so sexy to me, Leah.”
My cheeks warmed and my heart pinched. He leaned down and kissed me, and it was another soul sucking kiss. I lifted my hips against his, telling him with the language of my body that I was not going to settle for another finger rub. I knew all about the condoms he had stuffed in the bathroom cabinet, as if he had considered this would happen too.
He pressed me against the crappy mattress with his upper weight, and I ran my hands down his back, feeling every line and curve of his hard muscles. His hands slipped under my shirt, the warmth of his skin roaming up my body, heating me up instantly. His fingers grazed against the front of my bra, lightly stroking my nipple, and I arched my back for him as he cupped my breast and squeezed gently.
Shit, it was good. I moaned into his mouth and felt his hand move to my back. A second later the pressure of my bra lessened as he unclasped it effortlessly. He broke free from my mouth and lifted my shirt up and over my head. His breath caught in his throat once he threw off my bra and stared down at me in nothing but a thong on.
“Fuck, Leah,” he muttered, dipping his head to my chest. I felt the wet strokes of his tongue around my nipple and I shook at the bolt of pleasure that travelled down my body to my core. He licked down my abdomen, nipping at my hips, and sliding my thong down slowly. A second later, I was completely naked and pulling him by his hair up to me so I could kiss him again. He slipped his tongue into my mouth, stroking it against mine.
My hand drifted down his front, reaching into his pants where he was hard and thick and ready. I palmed his cock and pumped him once, twice, and he quivered above me, breathing harshly against my face. His hips rocked to me with every pump, and he groaned deep in his throat.
“Jesus.” He stared down my body and up at my glazed eyes.
“Take your pants off,” I told him breathlessly.
Oh, my God. This was actually going to happen. I could hardly contain myself.
He went to kick his pants off when the sound of eager knocks broke through the moment. He paused and pulled away.
“No,” I whispered. “Don’t answer.”
“Hey dick-face!” Rome shouted from outside the suite, instantly making me sag into the mattress in defeat. “We’re going out for dinner. You said you were coming, don’t flake out now. Come on, man.”
I glared at Carter. “You promised to go out for dinner?”
He exhaled loudly and shrugged. “Fuckin’ Marlena offered me cookies, a fresh batch of them, Leah, and then I had one and she was being all sweet and shit, inviting us for dinner. What kind of sick fuck says no to going out for dinner after accepting hot cookies on a tray from the sweetest woman ever?”
I cracked a smile, only because I couldn’t help thinking of broody Carter getting all flustered because of sweet as pie Marlena. “It’s alright, I guess. It’s just pretty late for dinner, that’s all. I had a pizza pocket a half hour ago, and it’s almost eight o’clock now.”
“You don’t have to eat big.”
“I know.”
He looked at me apologetically and got off, his pained eyes taking me in once more. When he strode out of the bedroom, re-adjusting his man-bits, he tossed back over his shoulder, “Wear something nice.”
I froze, confused.
I quickly got up and sorted through my very few clothes. The only nice thing I had that was suited for the weather was an emerald green tank top that paired with my black cardigan. I dug out my skinny jeans as well and slipped into them. I hurriedly combed my hair back and threw it up in a ponytail. I could hear Carter and Rome chatting indistinctly as I ducked into the bathroom and put on my make-up. Just light stuff, like mascara and lip gloss. If we were going to be out for a while, I might as well look good for Carter. I was still pissed at the missed opportunity in the bedroom, and my body was buzzing for more. Even my face still looked flustered.
I sighed and shrugged. Oh well, shit happens.
I left the bathroom and grabbed my black long winter boots and headed to the kitchen where they were. When they heard my footsteps, they stopped talking and turned to me. I slowed my steps at the strange smiles on their faces, and raised a brow.
“What?” I asked them.
Rome didn’t look like his normal self. He was wearing a very nice polo shirt with dark jeans, his dark hair styled nicely. It wasn’t like him to put so much effort into himself.
With a grin, Carter moved toward me, and took my face into his hand. “Nothing, Angel,” he muttered.
Well, okay then. I bent down and slipped into my boots, eyeing them curiously. Carter disappeared after that and changed. He emerged out of the bedroom in a tight black top and sexy faded jeans. His dirty blonde hair was still in its fuckable state, looking damn good as usual.
“So where are we going to eat?” I asked them.
“Probably at Whitespot or something,” Rome answered with a shrug.
“Is your mom and dad meeting us there, or…?”
“Yep.”
Righto.
I grabbed my purse and followed after them to the door, wondering what in the hell was going on. They were getting along with each other. Not even angry glares to be had.
Something was definitely up.
*
“I can’t believe you guys lied to me,” I snapped, staring at the club in awe as Rome pulled into a parking spot nearby.
It didn’t take me long to know they’d bullshitted me. They drove out of town and an hour and a half later we were inside Vancouver. It was only then they surprised me with a night out I wouldn’t forget.
“You’re going to get drunk tonight,” Rome told me, taking his seatbelt off after he’d parked. “No more hiding behind books and shit. We’re gonna fucking dance our asses off, you’re gonna sweat like crazy, and it’s gonna be awesome. Got it?”
No way was I going to get drunk – I was a horrific sight when I was – but I smiled at him and rolled my eyes. “I got it, I guess.”
“Good.”
We stepped out and it was raining and cold. Carter immediately took me into his side, shielding me as we raced to the entrance doors.
“I can’t believe you of all people tricked me,” I scolded him midway there.
“To be fair,” he returned, “It wasn’t all a lie. Marlena really did give me cookies.”
He held me tight, and I remember inhaling his scent and thinking if I had to be by his side the entire night, all would be fine.
*
I wasn’t drunk, but I’d had a couple drinks. I cut myself off in fear of getting smashed and not being able to stomach the alcohol. I didn’t want to ruin the night by puking on somebody. Dear god, the thought alone made my stomach swirl.
The club was huge and chaotic. People pressed against people. I’d never felt so disoriented, stuck in the middle of a room with blazing lights, shouting people, and thumping music that made me feel like my chest was vibrating along with the beat.
It was fucking awesome.
I felt alive for once. Nothing mattered to me. My past didn’t exist. Russell and Cheryl weren’t real in here. My uncertain future wasn’t dangling precariously in front of my face, burdening me with choices. I was a bomb that’d gone off in the best way possible, and I was with two of the best guys to ever grace my life.
Rome danced with me first, and Carter watched from afar, an intense look in his eyes. I hoped he wouldn’t get side-tracked by other girls. I’d already seen one approach him and get brushed off.
“We wanted you to have a good time!” Rome had shouted over the music, leaning into my ear so I could hear him. “We thought it was important you lived a little!”
I grinned back at him and screamed, “Thank you, Rome!”
Honestly, the fact these two put aside their differences just to give me a good night had me teetering on tears.
“Just be careful with Carter,” he told me gently. “I don’t want my girl hurt, alright?”
I nodded at him, my heart pinching in my chest and hugged him tightly. “Don’t worry! I’ve got it under control!”
He hugged me back, and then we danced some more, until he eventually had eyes for others. He slowly detached from me to dance with a girl close by. He kept a watchful eye on me as we danced, and I spun around, eyes on the ceiling, watching the world swirl before me.
Hands gripped around my waist, and the scent of Carter invaded my senses. My back sank into his hard chest. His lips pressed against my temple, and his hands slid down the sides of my body, pressing me against him. I smiled, and my blood pumped faster. I swayed my hips into him, moulding myself to his body.
“I wanna fucking eat you,” he growled into my ear. “You’ve got me so fucking worked up, woman.”
I laughed but I could hardly hear myself.
He turned me to him, and despite the upbeat music blaring all around us, he moved me slowly against him, raising my thigh with one hand and grinding into my centre along with the beat of the music. I had my arms wrapped around his neck, kissing him without care, because evidently a little bit of alcohol makes you lose your inhibitions.
Well, for me anyway.
I didn’t know if kissing him like this was okay. He kept things tame in public, but after working him up in the bedroom, he had completely loosened up. Here, he didn’t care about how much he was touching me. We were surrounded my strangers. For us, there was no such thing as labels in a place like this.
His free hand slid down my back, grabbing a handful of my ass to him. I felt him harden, and it made me turned on more than ever that he was just as swept away by our touch as I was.
“Jesus, Leah,” he muttered against my mouth. “I’d like to drag you somewhere quiet and taste every inch of you.”
I wanted the same.
But we kissed and ravaged each other on that floor instead. Tongue against tongue, my centre against his hardened cock, creating friction that nearly made me come right then and there. He kept his eyes on me, never once paying mind to the girls that were staring at him, wishing they were wrapped in his arms.
I loved that about him.
We did that for a couple hours. I knocked back another drink, but it wore off after an hour. I was on a high, fuelled solely by the adrenaline of being out of my comfort zone, and Carter was sober as a nun.
Rome, on the other hand… Well, he was a fucking disaster.
It was almost one in the morning and we had to practically carry him out. I was laughing, Carter was cursing, and Rome was talking gibberish. We opened his car door and threw him in the backseat, and he fell in a heap, his eyes glazed over on the verge of passing out.
“Leah,” he muttered as Carter made his way to the driver’s side.
“What?” I asked, grinning at him.
He motioned me to him and I had to climb into the car and over him to see what he wanted. His hand went up and stroked the side of my face, and that smile I wore slowly faded because he was staring at me in a way that I’d never seen before.
“It would have been me,” he slurred.
He passed out just then, his hand falling to his side. I stared at him with wide eyes, my body quaking just a little bit.
“What was he on about?” asked Carter
, shutting the door after he’d slid in.
I shook my head. “Nothing, he’s just passed out.”
“Goddamn drunk, eh?”
I nodded slowly.
A goddamn drunk that said…just what exactly?
I climbed into the passenger seat beside Carter and told myself he was just being a stupid drunk, muttering shit that made little sense. Russell had done it for years.
Carter held my hand the entire way back, glancing at me almost every minute with a smirk playing at his lips.
“Are you drunk too?” he asked me, chuckling.
“No way,” I answered.
“Huh.”
He was probably freaked out because I’d situated my body facing him. I stared at him the entire way back, making out that gorgeous profile, wanting nothing more than to place my lips on his and check out from this world.
“When we die, we should have our mouths put together,” I told him without thinking.
His brows went up and he stared at me in surprise. “Should we, now?”
“Yeah,” I deadpanned.
“Why?”
I shrugged. “I feel like I’m home kissing you.”
Okay, so maybe I was slightly tipsy. Or maybe just extremely happy. Or, hell, maybe it was the same thing. I didn’t know. I was just mesmerized by this man.
His smile vanished and he looked at me with pensive eyes and parted lips. I like to think he knew what I meant.
Or maybe it was all in my head.
Carter
Don’t do it.
Eleven
The make out started the second he came back from delivering Rome to his bedroom. One minute I was taking off my boots and the next he had pinned me against the wall, kissing the shit out of me. It felt like an entire day’s worth of pent-up frustration finally being unleashed.
We undressed ourselves frantically on our way to my bedroom.
My cardigan and top went off.
His shirt went off.
His jeans came undone.
Mine came undone.
He picked me up, licking my collarbone and up my neck, burning me with throbbing lust wherever he touched.