A Shimmer of Angels

by Lisa M Basso

  The bell rang, sealing my lateness to Music class with a red check in the tardy box.

  When I pulled my hand back, it hit the notebook, which tumbled to the ground. One of my sketches ripped free from the book. I lunged for it, but Luke beat me to it.

  He straightened up slowly, looking at my dark-winged sketch with sudden fury in his eyes. “What the hell is this, Rayna?” This boy was miles from the flirty Luke I’d come to know.

  Play it off. He can’t know the truth. “It’s just a picture, Luke. What’s the big deal?” Dryness snatched up some of my words.

  “I’ve been seeing it in my dreams.”

  I froze.

  “I … copied Tony’s notes the other day. I haven’t been able to get it out of my head since then. Tony died before I could ask him about it, and now it’s here, in your notebook. What am I supposed to think?”

  The beginnings of hyperventilation knotted my throat. My body trembled in fear of being discovered, called out, then taken away.

  Before I could spiral down into a place I likely wouldn’t climb out of, a tiny spot of light caught my attention. Cam readjusted his wings to tuck them closer to the set of lockers he was hiding behind. His face was stone, his eyes serious.

  My fingers went cold. How long had he been standing there, listening to us? “It’s nothing, so, we should, uh, get to class.”

  Luke looked at me like I was crazy, a look I knew all too well. He said nothing else as he walked away, brushing by a poster in the hall advertising the Halloween dance, taking my drawing with him. I watched him enter his class, then turned back toward the lockers. Cam was gone.

  I wanted to curl up in a ball, hugging myself tightly. Okay. Calm. Breathe.

  This was too much at once. Maybe I was even crazier than before, like my mind was cracking because I couldn’t handle the real life stuff.

  Luke had been dreaming of this picture. The same one Allison and Tony had seen. That didn’t mean Luke was somehow magically destined to kill himself, too. No, maybe Tony had seen Allison’s painting somehow, and sketched it in his notebook, just like I had. There. Simple explanation. And maybe Cam was following me around because … now that one was difficult to explain. Maybe Cam was as crazy as I was.

  Knowing I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on anything now, I spent what was left of Music class hiding in the bathroom. Again. I’d be in it deep if Dad got wise to my skipping classes, but I needed time to process.

  I opened the notebook, trying to press it flat—I’d never get it back to normal again after Luke’s assault on it—and started writing again, hoping to once again expel all wild thoughts so I didn’t have to deal with them anymore.

  By the time the bell for sixth period rang, I had a plan. I waited around the corner from Luke’s class. I was going to prove to myself that Luke wasn’t in any danger, even if that meant being a creepy stalker.

  I held my breath and peeked around the corner. Luke ducked out of the classroom. His head was down, his steps slow. Gina Garson was beside him, her usually smooth face pulled into a tight, worried mess. They both moved their hands as they spoke, in short, frustrated gestures, neither of them making eye contact. This was it, I’d finally cracked. I was stalking a classmate—the most popular guy in school, no less—waiting for him to up and off himself.

  Sun shone through the windows on my left. I tensed, hunching my shoulders up toward my ears. I looked again, hoping the warmth wasn’t a set of wings standing beside me.

  Nope. Sun. Actual sun. Two days in a row. Maybe luck was finally on my side.

  I glanced back to Luke and Gina. They were closer to my corner, only five lockers away.

  “What do you mean you can’t handle this now?” Gina hissed. “How the hell do you think I feel?”

  Luke pinched the sleeve of her sweater and veered her over to the side of the hallway, closer to me.

  I should have left, resumed my stalk-age after school, but I couldn’t pull myself away. Who knew watching a couple argue would be like watching a car crash?

  “Can we talk about this later? I’m not having the best day.”

  “Oh, and my day’s been a big ball of sunshine and daisies? This stuff is really creeping me out.”

  Luke exhaled, hard. “I get it, I do, but in case you haven’t heard, one of my boys is dead.” His eyes took on a watery sheen. “I don’t think school is the best place to have this conversation, G.”

  “You’ve known for weeks.” Gina’s body language changed, softening, either to Luke or the topic. “You didn’t want to talk about it then, either.”

  He reached out to her, wrapping one arm across her shoulders and pulling her into him.

  Watching their exchange somehow felt wrong, invasive, especially after I’d endured all of Luke’s half-hearted attempts to make a move on me. I turned away for a moment, allowing them their privacy, but couldn’t let Luke out of my sight for too long. I looked around the corner. Their embrace was over, and tension edged their shoulders again. Whatever the issue, it hadn’t been resolved so easily. Huh, turns out life isn’t like the movies, after all.

  One of Gina’s tagalong friends made a bee-line for her. I think the girl’s name was a month, April, May, June. Something like that. She ignored Luke completely and cupped a hand by Gina’s ear. She whispered for a good thirty seconds, Luke’s obvious irritation increasing by the second.

  I strained forward. Maybe she had more information about Allison or Tony. This calendar girl was one of those social butterflies who flitted from table to table in the lunchroom.

  She pulled back before I could devise a plan to pretend my locker was near them. Gina swallowed like she’d received bad news. My shoulder twitched—damn meds—and the girl zeroed in on me. “What’s that freak up to?” She asked Gina.

  Both Gina and Luke turned toward me. Anger sparked in Gina’s brown eyes. “Were you listening in on our conversation?”

  My pulse created a punk song drumbeat in my chest. I quickly shook my head, but my wide eyes must have given me away.

  “Stalker much? You tweaker-freak.”

  Her words hit me like a physical blow. Only two days ago she and I had shared a secret in the bathroom. I should have known she wouldn’t be able to keep that secret for long.

  Gina turned with her friend and stormed away toward the stairs without another word. Regret turned my stomach. I managed to pull my gaze up to Luke’s.

  More hurt than anger marred his face. His brows were furrowed, his lips tight.

  I’m sorry, I mouthed to my almost-friend. I had no idea what he and Gina had been talking about, but these suicides, Cam, and Allison’s painting were turning me into someone I didn’t want to be. Someone I thought I’d left behind at the mental hospital. The worst part? I didn’t plan to stop.

  Luke shook his head and yanked his backpack up from the floor before he walked away. He didn’t forgive me. He didn’t trust me. And he’d probably never talk to me again.

  This was bad. And annoying. What was I thinking, standing there, so obvious? Don’t. Get. Caught. It was like, Stalking 101. This just got so much freaking harder.

  Chapter Seventeen

  I raced to History class after my huge oops moment with Luke and Gina, even though I dreaded what—or who—I’d find there. But I had to be stronger, so I swallowed and put my best tougher-than-nails face on.

  Blinding reflections from wings covered the walls and faces in the classroom, mirroring the almost cheery afternoon sun. I shielded my eyes with my hand and heard my classmates’ giggles. It probably looked like I was allergic to sunlight or something. I lowered my hand and walked to the back of the room, painfully aware that my feather-tipped friend had beaten me there.

  “Nice to see you.” Cam flashed a grin almost as bright as those wings.

  “See? Really? Can’t see much of anything right now.” The sun had intensified his wings to almost blinding status.

  The light dissipated much the way it does when clouds brush over the s
un. “Sorry. I forgot they … affect you.”

  I dropped into my seat, feeling too many things all at once: apprehension about being near Cam, shame for spying on Luke and upsetting Gina, and awful crazy—either from the meds or a relapse, I hadn’t decided which yet.

  A new set of whispers started at the table behind us. I could imagine them talking about the cool new guy talking to tweaker-girl—yeah, that nickname had caught on fast. If only that were true, that he was merely interested in me like that, things would be so much simpler.

  I glanced at Cam, trying to picture him without his wings, as just a boy. Under different circumstances, he’d be pretty darn perfect. Smart, friendly, attractive, willing to save a girl’s life. Without those wings, things would definitely be different. Almost normal. God, to just be normal. I shook my head and pulled myself out of that train of thought. No way any of that was going to happen.

  “Rayna.” His voice sent ripples down to my stomach. Whether they were good ripples or bad ones, I couldn’t tell. “I have something important to ask you. It’s … about my reason for being here.”

  Bad. Yep, definitely bad.

  “Luke Harper may be in danger.”

  The softness of his whisper sent a shiver up my spine, in a way that I immediately scolded myself for. I didn’t need any more of those ridiculous fantasies. “Luke? What? No he’s not.”

  “He might be. I wouldn’t ask you if it wasn’t important, but I think you might be able to help.”

  My jaw slackened, but I pressed my lips together to keep from saying anything else. If Luke was in danger, how would I be able to help?

  “Can we talk after school?”

  I looked down long enough for the bell to ring. Finally. Our tablemate, Cassie, took her seat, saving me from a response. She eyed Cam in a way I hadn’t noticed yesterday, like he was the newest purse in the Hot Topic store window. If she looked any harder, I swore drool would dribble down over her plum lip gloss.

  I surveyed her low-cut sequined t-shirt, then compared it to my own deep-purple, crew-neck sweater. The dark sweeps of green eye shadow and eyeliner made her eyes stand out in all the wrong ways. And that huge, trendy purse wasn’t doing anything to help her style. Still, Cassie sure looked fancier than usual today.

  “I don’t know how I didn’t introduce myself yesterday. I’m Cassie.” Her smile was the essence of just right, not too big, not to small.

  Cam returned her smile with a polite one of his own. Cassie extended her hand. She was either being too formal or just wanted an excuse to touch him. Cam took her hand in his and shook it, while Cassie beamed at him.

  Mr. Barnes started his lecture. Cam turned away from Cassie to watch the front of the room, but Cassie didn’t have the same train of thought. She stared at him, smiling to herself. My teeth clamped together.

  Why should I care what way Cassie looked at him? I didn’t even like him. Really, I didn’t. Even if he didn’t have wings, he could be more involved than he wanted me to know.

  Right. It wasn’t Cassie’s fault. It was Cam’s. Because of that crooked thing he does with his lip when he’s concentrating too hard.

  Great, now I was staring.

  My head was nowhere near the Revolutionary War.

  He glanced up at me once or twice, but I pretended to be focused on our assignment, though I had no clue what it was.

  ***

  To most students, the final bell meant one thing: freedom. Today, the bell meant something better than freedom: my first day at work and a chance to be normal. I hiked up my getting-heavier-by-the-day backpack and joined the tail end of the traffic filing down the hall toward the stairs.

  “Rayna.” Cam’s feathers tickled the hairs on my arms, sending deathly chills through the riddled holes in my sanity. I stared at my arm. The ghost of feathers as soft as down brushed my skin there. I rubbed the touch away.

  Wings passed through things. That’s what they did. But Cam’s had touched me. How could that be? Was it because I could see them?

  There was so, so much I didn’t know.

  I jerked away, stumbling several steps back.

  “You left class so quickly. I really need to speak with you.” He took my hand in his and led me away from the crowd filing down the stairs. His touch was warm and gentle. His fingers were as soft as I remembered.

  I studied the scratched paint on the lockers beside us to gather my thoughts.

  Cam’s voice dropped when his hand did. “I need your help.”

  I lifted my chin and found my spine. “How do you know I can help you?”

  “Luke Harper is in trouble.”

  “What do you mean he’s in trouble? How?”

  He tilted his head to the side as if to say, really? His gentle demeanor slipped away, replaced by Business Cam. “I can’t say.”

  I slanted a look at the remainder of the student body, desperate to be free of this building. “This is ridiculous.” I shook my head and crossed my arms. “I’m not buying it.”

  His lips quirked to the side. “What is it you think you need to buy into? You can see what I am. Doesn’t that tell you anything?”

  “I’ve seen your kind for years. Not one of you has made my life anything but more difficult.”

  He tilted his chin up a fraction of an inch. “You have.” The statement fell somewhere between a question and a fact, but it sounded like news coming from his mouth.

  “You want help from me? Then I need to know a few things first.”

  Walk away. Why didn’t I just walk away?

  “Fine.” He brushed off his irritation with a flick of his wings. Patience was not in his wheelhouse. “Something may be watching him.”

  Yeah, you. Oh, and well, me. “You seemed to be watching him pretty closely after lunch.” I never would have been this brave if not for the sheer number of witnesses still in the hall.

  “The same way you were caught eavesdropping on his conversation with his girlfriend in the hall.”

  Touché.

  “But I’m not … well, I don’t have …” I waved a finger in the general direction of his wings.

  His voice dipped again. “I thought after yesterday you would trust me.”

  “Well, you thought wrong.” I balled my fists by my side to strengthen my resolve. “What is it you think you need my help with?”

  He shook his head.

  “Unless you can tell me something, I’m out of here.” I turned on my heel.

  “Wait.” He leaned forward, his lips brushing the hair by my ears. “There are others,” he whispered.

  He held our closeness. I resisted turning back to him and spoke louder than he had. “Others?”

  He hedged, turning away to watch the last few students push past us and trickle down the stairs, leaving the hallway empty, except for him and me.

  I glanced up and down the hall in case I’d need an escape route. Cam was blocking the main stairwell. The back stairs would be my only option. A different type of chill worked its way down to the inside of my sinking stomach as I relived the still-warm blood soaking into my jeans the last time I took the back stairs. I wouldn’t go that way again. Ever. I took a step back from him to gain an inch of personal space. Dragging one useful little detail out of him was like pulling teeth. And each word took all my nerve to spit out. “If you want to tell me something, now’s your chance.”

  “Just … I need to know if you’ve seen any more of … my kind. Lately.”

  “No,” I said, then curved around him, giving his wings a wide berth, and walked down the stairs, praying he wouldn’t follow.

  “I meant, tell me if you do.”

  I stopped on the landing between the third floor and the second, but I didn’t turn around. “Are you … expecting more?”

  “Hopefully not.”

  Sweat built on the back of my neck. I continued down the stairs, taking them two at a time, unable to get away fast enough. I didn’t know what more wings had to do with Luke, but nuh-uh. No way. I couldn�
�t handle any more wings. One way or another, I was out of this mess.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Still reeling from my conversation with Cam, I took out my frustration on the school’s front doors, throwing them open as hard as I could.

  I reached the bottom of the stairs, and someone sprang out at me. “Hey.”

  I jumped and pushed him back a good four feet before I noticed it was Lee and not a gorgeous blond boy with wings. “Lee, don’t do that! You nearly gave me a coronary.”

  He caught himself just before tipping back over the railing. “Geez, sorry Ray. I was just tryin’ to lighten up the mood around here.”

  “I’m sorry. It’s fine,” I said, but my thundering pulse didn’t agree. “Just don’t do it again, okay?”

  “You almost cracked my head open with those super-spy skills, but it’s no prob.”

  I was starting to wonder if he hadn’t been entirely joking yesterday, that part of him really did think I’d been a spy in Arizona. We began a quicker march than usual to Roxy’s Diner. Thanks to my detour with Cam, I was in danger of being late my first day on the job.

  “Ya know, I never got a chance to ask you how things went with Cam yesterday.”

  A frown tugged at my lips, and I tightened my grip on the straps of my backpack.

  “Yeah, about that. Don’t try to set me up again. Ever.”

  His cheeks boasted the slightest rosy blush. “I take it you two didn’t hit it off.”

  We turned the corner and trudged up the Powell Street hill.

  “The two of us have nothing in common. I will never have anything in common with him.” My tone was sharper than it needed to be, but I couldn’t help it; frustration still pumped through me. I shook my head, dismissing Cam from my thoughts. Lee didn’t deserve the wrath of Crazy Ray. I swore softly. “I’m sorry. Do you want to come to the diner, maybe we can hang out on my break?”