A Shimmer of Angels

by Lisa M Basso

  “No,” I reached out to Cam. “Kade, you have to let me go. I made a deal, for my family—”

  Kade’s injured wing faltered, and we careened toward the bridge. My stomach dipped with us. We spun and fell, the world turning with no sense to it. My leg hit something. A clang rung out. Pain shot through every nerve, a vast, unending fire. I tried to grab for whatever had caused the pain, but it was long gone.

  Still falling, Kade curled his wing in, trying to glide us onto the bridge. A gust of wind changed our direction. We angled right toward the metal railing and the fast-moving cars. Kade jerked and hissed in pain. His hold on me slipped.

  I free-fell alone for a second, then slammed into the railing so hard unconsciousness flirted with my brain. I growled and fought against the ache and breathlessness, then struggled to wrap my bruised, sliced arms around the cold metal, not giving myself the time to wonder if anything was broken. Azriel, I needed him with me when I did this. I steeled myself and looked down. The ocean still housed a green version of Hell. Azriel’s scream echoed from below.

  I tried to keep my hold on the railing, but my fingers were empty before I even realized they were slipping. The doomed feeling of falling returned. This time I didn’t scream. Didn’t breathe. Didn’t move.

  I slowed to a stop and gasped. Dared a glance below. A figure fell into the green, the whirlpool swallowing it. “No,” I whispered. The mouth to Hell closed, the green fading to the bottom of the bay before disappearing, along with any guarantee my family would remain safe.

  Above me, Kade held his shoulder with one hand and me with the other. Cam flew beside him, holding my other arm. They were all right. Both of them. Good. Because I was going to kill them.

  The cold air sobered me, pulled me back from unconsciousness, as they flew me to the bright lights of the city.

  Az. Az was gone. Back to Hell. Without me.

  I would have sobbed, but I couldn’t. I could only breathe.

  Everything blurred. Everything hurt.

  Kade’s grip on my hand slipped. I clung tighter to Cam. No reason to fall to my death now.

  “I’ll take it from here,” Cam said. He pulled my arm up, hand over hand, until he could hold me around the waist. His fingers rested half on my corset, half on my exposed skin. My blood boiled at his touch.

  To our left, Kade’s one-winged flight looked painful. He cringed, never letting go of his shoulder. His shirt hung in shreds. He weaved crookedly, hardly able to keep up.

  Cam hadn’t escaped the fray uninjured, either. His eye was swelling shut and his lip was split. “I’m sorry,” Cam said to me. “I never should have let it go that far. I should have found a way to stop Azriel earlier.”

  I shook my head, unwilling to talk about what had happened without blowing my top and donkey-kicking him.

  “Rayna—” Cam started, his fingers forming a fist over my stomach.

  “Don’t,” I spat. “You have no idea what you’ve done.”

  I glanced over to find Kade’s dark-brown eyes on us.

  A feeling stronger than anger circled my mind. There was something important I needed to know. Something that happened before the bridge. But what—

  Cassie. Lying dead on the school’s roof. Luke. Reaching for a window to jump out of. Lee. Being loaded in an ambulance. All the students at the dance. Drinking the punch.

  “Luke—the others. You didn’t just leave them?”

  Cam inhaled deeply, taking his time before answering. “I subdued Luke. When he wakes, Azriel’s influence should be gone.”

  Subdued? I didn’t think I wanted to know what that meant.

  “The others are fine. Az didn’t poison them. Poison wouldn’t be suicide, not the way he wanted. It was a bluff.”

  But I knew in my gut his threat to my family wasn’t.

  We dipped down the hill, farther into the city, closer to the ground. It felt like forever before we finally landed. Another alleyway. Solid ground. I sank down to rest on the balls of my feet and closed my eyes.

  I wanted to use tears to expel all the things I wished I hadn’t seen, the things I wished I hadn’t heard. But there were no tears. Shutting down, I wrapped my arms around myself, hooked my hands around my elbows, and rocked.

  Cam closed in on me quickly. I didn’t understand why until Kade stumbled down beside us, his rocky landing almost smacking him into the farthest building. He steadied himself and straightened up, his broken wing flopping sadly.

  “You flew for her.” The shock in Cam’s voice caught my attention, then lost it as I dropped a hand to the wet, gritty concrete, relishing the feel of it beneath me. Especially since I expected to land in Hell.

  Kade bit back a grimace as he folded his injured wing behind him. “So did you.” He spat at the floor at Cam’s feet. His voice was deep, darker than usual, but nothing compared to Azriel’s. He walked around Cam to kneel on the other side of me. “Are you okay?”

  Still rocking, I shook my head, too lost, too angry to speak.

  “This wasn’t the first time you’ve flown her, was it?” Cam said, fishing for something.

  I blinked at Cam, confused.

  His fists clenched and his lips pressed into a thin line. He’d caught what it was he wanted from Kade. “You have feelings for her.”

  I dragged myself out of my shock-induced daze. “I asked him to come the first time.”

  “The Fallen don’t do anything unless it favors them.” He broke his stare away from Kade, but frown lines still traced his forehead as he spoke. “And they’re only given a limited number of times they can fly.”

  My brows drew together, and I looked at Kade.

  He stiffened. “I could say the same for your kind.”

  Cam stood, towering over Kade, his fists clenched. “How did you know where Azriel would be?”

  Kade didn’t rise to the challenge. “As soon as the doorway to Hell opened, I figured there was a problem.” Sarcasm dripped off his words. “I sensed him near the school when I dropped Ray off. But you think I had something to do with this.”

  The silence that hung between them left me cold.

  Kade finally stood, his muscles tense, and Cam stepped closer to him, both their jaws clenched, their fists balled.

  “You’re not worth the cursed heart they put in you,” Cam said.

  Kade turned away from him and knelt beside me.

  Cam blinked, his brow furrowing. “She needs time.” He squatted beside me. “As soon as you’re ready, I’ll get you out of here.” It landed somewhere above a whisper, one I got the impression he’d intended for Kade to hear.

  I could feel Kade’s frustrated breath on my bare shoulder.

  That was all I could take. I pulled myself to my feet, ignoring the shakes in my knees and the unbearable pain in my hand, legs, and forearm. “You two just had to save me. You couldn’t let me go to keep my family safe, to keep more people from dying!”

  Their angry stares turned to me, and both faces went soft in surprise.

  “We kept you out of Lucifer’s clutches. They wanted you for a reason. Your family can be watched, protected, but you seem to be the important—” Cam’s eyes fixed in the glass behind me, and he breathed a warning. “Rayna.”

  I turned, my knee not liking this action much. My reflection shone in the glass and in the puddles of rainwater below it.

  Cassie’s blood smeared half my face, chest and arms. My own blood coated my hands, arm, and leg. And small, gray wings peeked over my shoulders.

  I had wings. And they both could see them.

  “Wha—what is this?” I stared at them, uncomprehending.

  Kade cleared his throat. “I don’t know.”

  Everything else fell away. “Does this mean I’m an angel?”

  Cam and Kade glared at each other. “I don’t know,” Cam spoke up first, confusion clear in his words. “But I’ve never seen anything like those.”

  “I doubt it,” Kade added. “Maybe it has something to do with you being a
ble to see us.” He leaned against the window, holding his shoulder.

  “It’s been a long night,” Cam said, offering me his hand. “Come with me. I can hide you. You’ll be safe. We’ll rest, and in the morning we can work on figuring it out together.”

  Kade pushed off the window, stepping between us, getting in Cam’s face until he had to take a step back. “Not happening. She’s coming with me. I’ll hide her. You shouldn’t interfere more than you already have. Besides, you think your side would tell you anything, even if they knew?”

  “My side? So it was my side that just tried to toss her to Hell? What would you have to do for the same information, Kasade?”

  “There has to be another way,” I said.

  They both turned to me with a firm, “no.”

  It was obvious they couldn’t work together for more than five minutes. These two were nuts if they thought I’d just go off with one of them and hide, or disappear, or whatever. Why did I have to choose between them? And who could make me?

  “No,” I said.

  They both looked confused.

  “No?” Cam asked.

  “I don’t want to go with either of you. The suicides are over, for now. Az is gone, for now. But my family could still be in jeopardy. I just got my life back, and I’m not going to give it up now.” My eyes started to water, saving me from seeing their reactions. “I want to live my life, be with my dad and Laylah and Lee, keep them safe.” Even if I had no idea how I could do that after busting out of the SS Crazy. I swallowed and watched them through blurred vision. I thought I could spy a sense of understanding behind those two sets of eyes. “So, I won’t hide. I choose to live.”

  I closed my eyes “So what happens now?”

  “I don’t know. With those wings, you may never be safe,” Cam said. I opened my eyes in time to watch him exchange unhappy glances with Kade.

  I shook my head. “What guarantee do you have that Az is really gone? That my classmates are safe? My family?”

  “Why don’t you go talk to your superiors and find out? I’ll watch her while you’re gone.” A taunting half-smile slid up Kade’s lips.

  “The last thing you need to be doing is mouthing off right now,” I scolded, then turned away.

  I took another look at myself, those gray wings still there, taunting me. I squeezed my eyes shut, blocking them out. God only knew what kind of repercussions they carried.

  Everything I’d ever wanted—a normal life, not being singled out as a crazy freak, and any chance of returning home to my family, keeping them out of harm’s way—disintegrated. My breakout from the SS Crazy and my shiny new wings pretty much guaranteed that. My dreams didn’t only burn, they turned to ash.

  “I … I need time. To process. To think. Just make sure no one else gets hurt.” My knees threatened to collapse, but instead of giving in, I ran. Truthfully, it was more of a limp.

  Neither of them followed me. I was glad. So glad.

  The farther I ran, the more time I had to think. I cared for them. Both of them. I knew that now. But I couldn’t help hating them, too. I understood why they wouldn’t let me go, but neither of them seemed to understand how much my loved ones meant to me, or how much I would sacrifice for them.

  Eventually my anger faded, clearing my head and allowing me to better weigh my options. I couldn’t go with either of them. They both wanted to hide me away from the world, away from any angels or Fallen. It was no different from being at the SS Crazy. I was done being locked up and told what to do.

  Cam would probably Fall to protect me. That was an option I couldn’t live with.

  And Kade? He was either hot or cold, starting trouble or being sweet. I didn’t even know who he really was. Except damn annoying. Plus, he’d dated Mom.

  It didn’t take long for the rain to start again. I pushed on, having no clue where to go, walking until my throbbing knee wouldn’t take me any farther. I couldn’t go home; Dad would throw me to the crazy police as soon as he saw me. The moment I escaped the mental hospital had guaranteed that. Knowing that didn’t make it hurt any less.

  I made my way to Lee’s house and spent the night soaking wet, tucked into the front porch’s alcove, hidden away from the world in my own little dark corner, where I could weep to my heart’s content.

  Chapter Forty-Two

  In the morning the sun came out, and I woke to find my own, smaller version of angel wings wrapped around my shoulders. The streets had been empty last night, thanks to the rain. No one had seen me. But what if today, in the light of day, my gray wings betrayed me? I wasn’t an angel. What if my wings weren’t a secret?

  A white car stopped in front of the house and both doors opened. Familiar voices sprang from the car. I peeked around the niche and nearly blinded myself as the tips of my wings shimmered too-bright sunlight into my eyes.

  Great. Not just inconvenient, but shiny, too.

  I readjusted my position, scooting back to keep them out of the light. Every part of my body was sore and wet and cold. My throat ached, my knee was swollen, my cuts throbbed, and my eyes were puffy and tired. At the curb, Lee’s mom stepped from the car and walked around to help Lee out. His skin was so pale. His eyes had bags beneath them, and a Band-aid covered his hand. But he was alive. Alive.

  A relieved squeak squeezed from my throat. Forgetting myself, I stepped from the porch’s shadows.

  Lee and his mom reached the bottom of the stairs, looked up, and gasped.

  They could see them.

  I froze, wracking my brain, trying to think of a way to explain the wings. Wait. The Halloween dance. I decided to go with the costume thing.

  “Ray!” Lee smiled. “Wow. That’s some costume.”

  I glanced down, my entire top half stained dark with Cassie’s blood.

  “Rayna, it is so good to see you,” Mrs. Kyon said in her soft way, her eyes quietly conveying their gratitude.

  I pressed a hand against my stomach and sighed in relief. They couldn’t see them.

  “What happened to you?” she asked.

  One forearm was slashed, the other swollen and an ungodly shade of purple. The same shade as my knee. My thigh ached where Az had scratched me. I wondered how much of Cassie’s blood was still on my face. “I decided to take the costume a little further.” I hoped the excuse was believable.

  Lee did the zombie shuffle, and for once, I knew he wasn’t joking. He leaned against the rail for support as he climbed the porch stairs. I helped Mrs. Kyon get Lee inside, up the stairs, and into bed.

  Then I borrowed a washcloth from Lee’s bathroom and scrubbed Cassie’s blood off me. For good measure, I splashed rubbing alcohol on all the cuts. Each one stung more than the last.

  “I’ll go make some tea,” Mrs. Kyon said, but she took her time, stroking Lee’s spiky hair back from his forehead.

  “I heard you saved my life,” Lee said after his mom’s footsteps faded down the stairs.

  I shook my head. “Right place, right time.” I took a breath, using what felt like newborn muscles to tuck my wings back behind me. “How are you feeling?”

  He shrugged. “Eh, can’t complain.”

  What would a normal person say in this situation? I didn’t know. I wasn’t one of them. Feathers tickled my back, reminding me I never would be. I dropped to the bed next to him, suddenly tired. “They released you pretty early. What were the conditions?”

  “Yeah. I almost forgot to tell you. Cam put in a good word for me.”

  “Cam?” The word fell from my mouth before I could control my tone.

  “Uh-huh.” He didn’t try hiding that triumphant smile. “He volunteers at the hospital, so he talked to the doctors, got my sentence reduced.”

  Cam didn’t work at a hospital, at least not that I knew of, but I could imagine he had a few angel tricks up his sleeve. I steeled myself, remembering the decision I made last night. He wanted to lock me away from the world, keep me away from my family. If I let myself be weak or stumble just once, I co
uld easily forget my reasons for saying no and end up back in his arms. As much as I wanted that, I wanted a life more. And I wanted him to have a life without me screwing that up for him. “Did he say anything?”

  “Just that he had to say goodbye. He’s moving again.”

  I crumbled a little, clutching my stomach. He was leaving, had probably already gone. With Az back in Hell, I guess that left Luke safe. And my family. For now. But he’d reassured me he could keep them out of harm’s way. How could he do that if he was gone? In the back of my mind, I couldn’t help thinking I didn’t even get a chance to talk to him again. I’d probably just screw up a goodbye, anyway.

  “You okay?” He draped a hand over my head, his fingers flopping into my face.

  “No. Not with that, but what can I do, right?”

  “Sorry, Ray. I never would’ve pushed him on you if I’d known he’d only be around a few weeks.”

  I had to change the subject. The thought of Cam gone forever hurt too much. “What else did the doctors say?”

  “I have to see a therapist.” Lee’s gaze darted to the open door, but the hallway was empty. “But don’t worry. I won’t tell him what I really saw.”

  “What do you mean? What did you see?”

  “That dark guy with wings you were talking to.”

  My jaw nearly hit the floor. No, no, no, no!

  “I’ve seen the Dr. Who episodes with the angels, and I’ve been glued to ghost-hunting reruns.” That wonderful, light-up-the-world smile tilted his lips. “We don’t have to talk about it now. Besides, you look like you’ve had one hell of a night yourself.”

  I pulled myself together and hugged him, crushing him to me in case I had to leave, never to return. It still felt weird, but didn’t suck too much. Thanks to these damn wings and Az’s determination to use my sight for evil, I had a feeling I’d never be safe.

  Though it was a relief to know someone else had seen Azriel, I’d never know how to explain it to Lee. Luckily, I didn’t have to worry about that. Yet.

  I stayed with him, deflecting questions about where I’d been the last three weeks with bad jokes, until Mrs. Kyon insisted he get some rest, per the doctor’s orders. On my way out, I promised his mom I’d return soon. I didn’t know if I’d be keeping that promise.