"I'm not surprised," Somnu replied. "If the history of the Hegemony has taught us anything, we'll know their intentions once they take whatever it is they came here for. Assuming they don't kill us all to harvest some obscure mineral they've decided is essential for the future growth of their empire."
"That's what I've always liked about you, Somnu. Your optimism. But are you really convinced the Juggernaut are here to raze the planet?" Graeber asked.
Somnu shrugged. "I don't know why they're here, but I do know they don't consider humans a sentient species. And with this plague ... well, I doubt they would see our presence here as something of benefit to the Hegemony."
Graeber didn't want to admit that Somnu was right. "Until they make a move, we can't know their intent. I prefer not to waste my time with useless speculations." He hated to admit it to himself, but if he couldn't keep Kilawren safe, he didn't much care what happened to the rest of Az'Unda.
"True, true," Somnu replied. "Perhaps instead you can shed some light on another subject for me?"
Graeber felt a familiar tingle at the base of his neck. "You think that's going to work on me?" he laughed. "Why don't you just ask your question and be done with it?" He shut off the communications terminal and turned to face Somnu.
"I'm wondering if you can help me work something out?" he asked.
"If I can," Graeber replied.
"I've noticed some interesting things about the Durmah's new adoptee, and I'm wondering if you might have picked up on it yourself?" Somnu asked.
Graeber didn't know if Somnu knew something, or just suspected. "She seems to get herself into trouble on a regular basis, but perhaps that's just her youthful spirit."
"Oh, I think it's more than her simply being a free spirit. You're familiar with her condition? Her supposed amnesia?" Somnu asked.
"I've overheard the family discussing it," Graeber replied.
"I'm sure you have. You seem to have been around the Durmah often, which is why I'm even bothering to bring this up with you first."
"First?" Graeber asked. "I'm beginning to get the impression that you have taken up the grand Durmah quest to discover the cause of little Rai's amnesia?" He guffawed. "Please, tell me you don't have anything better to do?"
Somnu frowned. "As you said, there's not much we can do about the Juggernaut, and I'm no scientist or Technician, so it's not like I can do anything about the plague either."
"It's a good thing you have the Core to fall back on then, isn't it?"
"I also have my research. My past as a librarian offers me endless sources of amusement. You know, I looked up Rai's original birth family. I was just visiting them, actually. They live in Resounding Cliffs. Friendly people. Very sincere and talkative to a Tinker who can help fix their aging and ailing equipment."
Graeber tried to sound nonchalant. "You know it would be a bad idea to reveal their identities to the Durmah? That information is sealed, after all."
"Sealed by the Matriarchy, yes. But never to the Core, which you know," Somnu replied. "And there's no reason to disclose my findings to the Durmah, as Rai is not the daughter of the family the records claim her to be. I saw a family portrait of the Sept, the likeness of their daughter was similar, but not the girl."
An icy chill ran down Graeber's spine, such that he had to exert firm mental control, lest Somnu detect he'd hit a nerve. "A clerical error, perhaps?"
"Perhaps, but I think not. Bauleel arranged the paperwork, and I can't believe she would be so neglectful. I fear there may be another motive at play," Somnu said.
"And what might that be?" Graeber asked, sighing audibly.
Somnu took a step forward, speaking in a whisper. "I'm afraid Bauleel is attempting to pass off this girl, Rai, as an average Az'Un, but I think there is evidence of her sister's handiwork upon her."
"Explain yourself!" Graeber growled. Could Somnu have been shrewd enough to guess? And if he had, how far would he have to go to cover up their deeds this time?
"I'm sorry, old friend," Somnu replied, moving to place a friendly hand on Graeber's shoulder, which he shrugged off. "I don't want to bring up painful memories for you of Kilawren. However, this girl has displayed certain traits, the like of which have only before been witnessed by those of us in the Core. By those of us who survived the Ordeal."
Graeber sensed echoes of heartache in the air. Somnu had lost his wife and children during the initial plague outbreak during colonization. It had truly been an Ordeal for all who lived through it.
"I have seen none of this evidenced in her," Graeber replied. It was a bold-faced lie, but Somnu didn't mistake the genuine nature of his anger.
"I have taken the necessary time to observe her, while I suspect you have not had the time," Somnu replied. "She is not one of the Core masquerading as a mere citizen; we would have recognized her. Therefore I'm afraid there is only one possible explanation remaining. And I intend to confront Bauleel with my suspicions at the Core meeting in Raven's Call, but I wanted to get your opinion on the matter. You are close to Bauleel, and perhaps could help me talk to her in private, before the meeting."
Graeber imagined dozens of ways to end Somnu's life, but covering up his death would take more than an excuse. "What do you intend to accuse Bauleel of?" Graeber asked. The real irony is that Bauleel, although a willing participant in this colossal charade, was not the instigator. If anyone were to bear the brunt of an accusation, it would be himself.
"I think the girl is one of Kilawren's ... test subjects. I believe that, after her sister's death, Bauleel needed something to hold on to. That she couldn't let her sister's lifetime of work go to waste. That Bauleel intends to prove her theories through keeping this poor girl alive and hidden as long as she can. And I think in this endeavor, she is blind to the danger inherent in Kilawren's tests."
Somnu had it so wrong, and yet so spot on. Graeber needed time to consider how best to handle this new development, and Somnu had provided the perfect out. Whatever Somnu did, Graeber had to remain calm and do what he could to protect Bauleel.
"I have not witnessed anything to raise my concerns on the girl, but if you'd like, we can speak to Bauleel together. Perhaps through the rest of this journey, I may also witness these traits you've spoken of. Or it may be a simple matter of misplaced or misfiled paperwork."
"That is a distinct possibility. Still, I am heartened to hear you say you will join me in talking with Bauleel. It will make the task easier," Somnu replied, smiling jovially.
"Now if you'll excuse me, the Commander here has asked for a word with me. I'd rather not keep him waiting any longer," Graeber replied.
Frustrated, Graeber headed towards the room Rai had been assigned for the night. They were low on options, and getting shorter on time by the day.
Guardian Graeber knocked softly on Rai's door.
"She's not there," Ponar said, emerging from his room across the hallway. "Didn't you tell her not to speak with you anymore?"
"That's true," Graeber answered. Graeber knew Ponar hadn't overheard that part of their conversation this morning, so Rai must have shared information with Ponar on the trip here, despite his warnings. He wondered how much more of her confidence Ponar had gained, and it galled him that this utter stranger had somehow earned her trust. She was much too trusting of all the Durmah, this one in particular.
In the lifetimes he'd lived Graeber had hardened his heart against trusting others, allowing only his sister Raza, Rai, and her sister Bauleel, into his confidence. Knowing Ponar knew Rai's secrets, which could threaten all of them, caused the peculiar sensation of panic to burn through his chest. Or, perhaps was it jealousy?
He'd need to interrogate Ponar to learn all that Rai had disclosed, but this was not the time. It would have to wait.
"Do you know where she is now?" Graeber asked, forcing a passive expression onto his face.
Ponar smiled. "Sure, but why would I tell you? From what I've seen, you've already harassed her enough today. No wait, I tak
e that back. Plenty enough for this entire trip."
"That is not my intent," Graeber replied. "If you don't mind, I'll leave you here to stew in your irritation while I continue my search."
"Oh, I do mind," Ponar replied. "Why don't you come in here for a moment so we can speak in private. Candidly. There are things you should know."
Graeber sensed Ponar's concern for and desire to protect Rai, and if Ponar had been at all up to the task, Graeber might even have taken him seriously. Instead, Graeber got the impression Ponar wanted to rant at him, which he would usually avoid but he thought might be useful in this situation. Ponar might reveal what other parts of their conversation Rai had shared with him, and what he had in turn shared with his Sept-mates. Graeber shook off his emotional reaction, determined to understand Ponar's awareness of Rai's situation. "Only for a moment. My time is short."
The room was small, containing a narrow cot, a three drawer dresser and a table pressed up against the wall with two chairs. Graeber sat across from Ponar at the table and waited for him to speak.
"You're going to drive her crazy. Do you know that?" Ponar asked.
"What makes you think I am the cause? She seems to be getting herself into plenty of trouble all on her own." Graeber smiled, as if unconcerned by Ponar's accusation.
"I know you've threatened her to keep quiet, so she doesn't tell us what she knows. I know something happened back at the lake. And I watched Rai talk to that Juggernaut, if you can call it that, and I saw how you reacted when you found out she'd spoken to it. I've walked in on the two of you, how many times now, in private conversation?"
Ponar's face was red and his expression full of vehemence as he spat out the words. Graeber resisted the urge to answer what he understood to be rhetoric questions as he felt Ponar's wrath build to a crescendo. If Graeber were a different man, he'd have felt physically threatened. But instead, Graeber suppressed a grin, allowing Ponar's rant to continue rolling.
"I've come up with a theory. Well, Meik and Laan and Stoi and Jesse came up with part of it, to be honest. But I've embellished it a bit based on what I've witnessed over the last week or so. You interested in hearing it?" Ponar asked.
"Sure," Graeber replied.
"We Durmah are convinced that Rai used to be a Guardian, and was cast out. Her memory was wiped or damaged in some way, and she was placed with the Durmah for some reason. Whether to help us or later report back to the Guardian Sept on us, we don't know."
"You think she's a spy?" Graeber asked, laughing.
"I don't think she's a willing tool, but some in my family have doubts. Some even think she might be dangerous. I do believe she's being controlled by you. From what I've witnessed, that much is obvious. Every time she's about to remember something, it seems you show up and interrupt the process. At the Stime Sept's swamps, you turn up right after she discovers that her dreams of that poison's smell are real. At Harper's Sorrow, Meik saw the two of you have an extended conversation on the way back to camp, but when we ask her about it, she says you didn't even talk. Then when you find out she communicated, or whatever you want to call it, to that Juggernaut, your reaction wasn't surprise or shock like I had when I witnessed that feat."
"There's not much that shocks me," Graeber replied. He didn't know Meik had seen his conversation with Rai at Harper's Sorrow. How could he have missed noticing Meik? Moreover, Ponar's recounting of events read like a litany of Rai's inability to keep her past a secret from her Sept-mates. If her secrets became common knowledge within the Sept, then it was only a matter of time before the Core learned everything.
Graeber's options to salvage the situation continued to dwindle, leaving off-world a comparably favorable outcome, despite the risks.
"That may be," Ponar continued. "But since then I keep walking in on the two of you talking. And you know how it looks to me?"
"Enlighten me."
"I believe my family is right now. Rai was a Guardian. And more than that, I personally think you knew her and cared deeply for her. Otherwise, why would you be hanging around, pestering her, and keeping her from moving on with her life?" Ponar asked. "You've managed to poison her against the Durmah and our trusted friends."
Graeber couldn't believe he'd been so transparent, but Ponar had seen the two of them together, heard parts of their conversations.
"An intriguing, although baseless, conclusion."
Ponar laughed at him, shaking his head. "It'll take more than that to convince me otherwise, Graeber. You're going to tell me right here, right now, why you keep interfering with her, and the Durmah's lives."
Ponar's break in protocol wasn't lost on him. "Well, Ponar, I don't owe you any explanations for my behavior. I've done everything I can to keep your entire family out of danger on this trip, and now you act like an ungrateful little wretch. It's pathetic."
"That's not true, you know. You're putting one particular member of my family through a great deal of unneeded stress," Ponar replied. "And it needs to stop."
Graeber wished he could comply with Ponar's request, but the stress was a better option than death. "I've only done what I had to do to protect your family."
"Protect?" Ponar asked. "Do you have any idea what this is doing to her? How lost and confused she is?"
"I live to protect all the Az'Un," Graeber answered. "And I will get back to doing my job now." He stood and walked toward the door.
Ponar followed him. "Do you know she slept most of the way here after taking enough faown to knock out a horse? Frankly, I'm amazed she can walk and talk now."
Graeber groaned inwardly. At those quantities, the faown would make it harder for Somnu to read her, but it would also make her more pliable and talkative. He'd had no idea she'd go overboard like that. The Kilawren he'd known never would have, but he had to remind himself, again, that Rai wasn't the woman she used to be. Rai wasn't the Kilawren he'd loved and lived lifetimes alongside. All of those memories and past had been lost to Rai. The possibility that he'd truly lost her, despite his best efforts to save her no matter the cost, loomed darkly in his thoughts. "Where is she at now? I'll go and talk to her, see if I can get her to stop ..."
"No! I don't think that's what she needs, friend. Besides, she's with her family, having a little heart to heart right now about the truth and the importance of Sept," Ponar said. "I think that Somnu is even there to help out, being the true family friend he is."
Graeber felt ice pour down his spine. "Where? Now!" he demanded.
"No, I won't let you interfere ..." Ponar began.
"Look, you're right." Graber let loose an exasperated sigh and then ran a hand through his hair. He dropped his usual rigid stance and reached out to Ponar, placing a hand on his arm in a silent request. "I did know her, and I am trying to protect her, especially from people like Somnu. If he finds out the truth about her past, he'll have her put to death," Graeber said. "And I won't be able to prevent it a second time."
The color drained from Ponar's face. "Why? How?"
"We can discuss the details later. If you value Rai's life, then take me to them now," Graeber said. He tried to calculate how long it had been since his discussion with Somnu, and how much time he and the Durmah might have been questioning Rai. Drugged as she was, it was already too long.
Ponar nodded and led the way, confusion etching a mask of fear across his face. Graeber knew he'd scared Ponar, but he had no other choice. He had to stop this family bonding session. Kilawren's, Rai's, life could depend upon it.
Chapter 14
“Somnu was right," Rai said. She looked down over the ocean, far beneath the parapet she leaned upon. Patches of moonlight broke through the clouds, spattering shimmery reflections off of the dark water's surface. "The view is amazing from up here."
Meik leaned on the wall next to her, sharing her admiration of the view. "It's a rare sight to see. Between the height of the cliffs and the shape of the cove, it feels almost like a gigantic theater."
"That's almost poetic, cous
in," Laan replied from behind them. "You're not about to break into song, are you?"
Meik and Rai both laughed. "Nah. After all, I don't have a beer," Meik said, and then they all laughed.
It felt good to laugh with them. Although Rai's head was still stuffed with the cotton of faown despite not having any since Ponar took away her stash. If Rai didn't think about it, she could forget about her unusual talents, the Core, the Juggernaut, even her amnesia. On second thought, forgetting wasn't even a possibility.
"You know Rai, I've meant to share something with you, but things have been so crazy lately it seems I never find the time," Meik said.
"We're just us Durmah up here," Rai replied. Speaking of Durmah, where was Ponar? "Share away."
"I think I can speak for the entire family when I say how happy we are to have you as a part of our Sept. You've been such a great help to Jesse these past few months. You also helped us out with finding the cause of the tainted Luna berries so that Durmah wouldn't have to worry about being held responsible."
"Thanks, Meik," Rai replied. At least someone saw her as help, and not just a source of trouble.
"You're welcome," Meik put a hand on her shoulder. "You know, you've been such a great little helper, my only concern is that perhaps we aren't there for you as you need us to be."
Rai was glad of the insulating layers between them and the fuzziness in her head; she didn't want to get caught up in Meik's emotional share-fest. No, she couldn't.
"Oh, I think it's just because we haven't spent all that much time together yet. Jesse and Ponar have been a great help to me in adjusting," Rai replied.
"We're very grateful to them for that," Meik said, removing his hand. "However, I know Kait, Stoi, Laan and myself have some concerns with how things have been going and that you're getting the help you need."
"Don't bother beating around the bush," Rai replied. Was that too blunt? She couldn't tell through the haze of faown. It was just her luck Meik would pick today for a heart-to-heart. "Go ahead and ask."
Dreams Manifest (The Depths of Memory Book 2) Page 11