Rai heard footsteps and looked back to see Tinker Somnu walking up to stand beside Laan. They shared a brief smile, the kind of look that co-conspirators often share. Rai looked back out over the ocean, sure now that this was a deliberate setup.
"Well, Laan and I think that your memory has returned, but that the Guardian, our escort, has threatened you. You know, so you don't reveal what you've figured out" Meik said.
"Threatened?" Rai asked. "Where would you get that idea?"
"When we were at Harper's Sorrow after we all got cleaned up at the lake, I saw you and the Guardian talking," Meik explained.
"You were spying on me?" Rai asked.
"No. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time," Meik replied. His smug smile said this hadn't been an unhappy coincidence. "And I'm glad I was. When I asked you about it the next day, you said nothing had happened."
"Nothing did," Rai replied. Knowing Somnu was standing behind her right now made her skin crawl. Would Meik reveal something that could put either herself or Graeber in danger?
"That's what we're talking about," Laan chimed in. "Meik has told us that it appeared the Guardian threatened you, and yet you refuse to talk about it. I don't know what's keeping Ponar at the moment, but I can tell you he shares our concerns. He has said that he's seen the Guardian speaking to you threateningly, on more than one occasion. If this is true, we need to know."
Rai forced herself to not look at Somnu, but she imagined this wasn't the first time he'd heard these stories from the Durmah. Graeber had been a fool to think their conversations wouldn't be remarked upon. And she had been a fool to trust Ponar. Rai crossed her arms, gripping her sides in her fists, willing her rising panic to subside. She wanted to run away and escape their questions. But how could she flee from family, when they were supposed to be her safe harbor?
"That man is threatening to everyone. It's like he thinks it is his job or something," Rai said. "I don't get the impression that it's anything personal."
"Guardians are bound by a strict code of conduct with their charges," Somnu replied. Both she and Meik turned to face Laan and Somnu. Rai remained leaning against the wall, for support in her befuddled state, while Meik took a few steps away. "And from what I've heard, this goes beyond rudeness or flippancy. I think we all have concerns that this particular Guardian is attempting to influence your behavior."
"Exactly," Meik said. "And if that happens, you need to know that the Durmah are here for you. Tell us what's going on so we can help you out. That's what it means to be a part of a family. We support each other in all things."
Rai's mind wasn't clear enough to formulate a cover story. She felt too betrayed and exposed to even try. "But I don't know what he wants. How can I tell you what I don't know?"
Meik frowned. "If he's harassing you, we can always report his behavior to the Matriarchy and the Guardian Chieftess. We'll push for a formal reprimand."
"No. You can't do that," Rai replied, remembering Graeber's warnings that exposure might bring too much attention to them.
Somnu, Meik, and Laan all shared furtive glances, shifting uncomfortably. "Rai," Laan said. "Can't you see that it's precisely this type of reaction which makes us think he's threatening you?"
"I suppose," Rai replied. A tear ran down her cheek, which she hastily wiped away.
"Tell us what he's said to you," Laan asked. "We're your family. We can help you work this out. You don't have to do it alone."
The door to the stairwell opened noisily. An apprehensive-looking Ponar emerged, followed by a stony-faced Guardian Graeber. From the depths of her subconscious mind, Rai recognized his expression and knew that this was how Graeber wore his fear. This look reminded her of when he'd found her inside her old house at Harper's Sorrow and had her pinned to the wall, demanding answers. Remembering Graeber's cavalier bravado in the face of the sclern, or his total lack of concern the night he'd faced off with the Terror at the park, or so many other instances--Rai had repeatedly witnessed his unwavering self-confidence. He never showed fear, not to anyone. She suspected he was simply too egotistical.
But at that moment, somewhere deep inside, Rai knew they'd lost their gambit to keep herself, Kilawren, alive. Whether it took a minute or a month, the inevitable fall had begun.
"Thanks for joining us, you two," Somnu said. "We'd only expected Ponar, but I can't say your arrival is at all surprising, Guardian."
"Sorry to interrupt your family meeting," Graeber replied. "I asked Ponar to bring me here so I could give you an update on our itinerary."
"And that would be?" Meik asked.
"From the weather reports, it appears we won't be traveling in the morning. The rain is expected to return with a vengeance. I feel it's a better option to wait a day and hope the conditions improve," he explained.
"Whatever you feel is best," Laan replied. "Now, if there's nothing else, we'd like to continue our conversation. In private."
"Of course," Graeber said. "Your family has been through quite a bit these last few days, and you certainly have my sympathy for it. Before I leave, could I make just one suggestion?"
"Sure, what?" Meik asked.
"All of you have pushed very hard during this trip on little sleep. As such, everyone is stressed and exhausted. As we're going to be here for another day, why not get some rest and resume this conversation tomorrow?" Graeber replied.
Rai had never heard the Guardian speak so evenly, or respectfully. He must be terrified to be so nice, and this realization shook Rai to her core. Dread flooded her senses, a cold sweat broke out across her skin. Their eyes met. "You need to get out of here before they make you reveal what you know," Graeber's thoughts urged. "You're more vulnerable right now because of the faown."
"What, so you have yet another opportunity to corner Rai and keep her from telling us the truth?" Meik asked. He walked toward Graeber, pointing a finger in his face. "I don't think so! We've had enough of you. When we're done up here, I'm going to demand a new escort to finish this trip with us."
"You're welcome to do whatever you feel is best for your family," Graeber replied. "I'll go process your request for a new guide now if you'd like. I just don't want to see you bicker because you're too tired to think straight."
"Don't you dare imply we're confused and imagining the affront you've delivered to our Sept!" Meik yelled, spittle flying. "We are no fools!" Meik raised his arm as if to strike the Guardian, and both Laan and Ponar stepped in to hold him back. Somnu took a step backward towards the door, eyes fixed on Graeber and Meik.
Graeber never even tensed. "Take care, Durmah, lest you start something you can't win."
"Enough!" Rai shrieked. "Stop it!" Her voice startled them, at once deflating the peaking tempers. "I can't live by your rules," Rai said to Meik. "Nor can I live by yours," she said to Graeber. "There's no way through this maze. It's your maze, not mine. And you know what? I'm done puzzling out the way." Rai placed her hands flat on the rock wall she was leaning on. The cold, damp surface of the smoothly polished stone chilled her to the bone.
"It's been a long day, Rai," Ponar replied. "You're just tired. Let me walk you back to your room, okay?"
"Yes, it's been a long day for all of us," Laan said. "I'm sure things will be easier to talk out in the morning, when we're all well-rested, as the Guardian suggested."
There was a hysterical edge to her laughter as it echoed off the outpost's parapets. "I don't even know what direction I'm supposed to be headed!" she screamed. Once again tears filled her eyes, mercifully blurring the demanding expressions of the Durmah, Tinker Somnu, and Guardian Graeber.
"Everything will look better in the morning," Graeber said. Although Rai couldn't make out his expression through her blurred vision, his anguished tone spoke volumes.
"You can't believe that," Rai whispered.
"I do," Graeber replied without words. "We can run farther. Much farther. It doesn't have to be like this anymore. We can leave Az'Unda."
&nbs
p; "It will, child," Somnu piped up, apparently oblivious to Graeber's message. "There will be more time to talk in the light of a brand new day. All of this confusion can be sorted out, and whatever help you need your family will get you."
"We'll do whatever we can, Rai," Meik said.
"All of us will," Ponar said. "You're not alone."
"That's where you're wrong. I am alone. And nothing any of you can do will ever change that fact."
Rai turned and looked out to the horizon, blurred by darkness, clouds, waves, and tears. In a fluid movement, she pulled herself up onto the wall and then jumped out into the night. For a brief moment, Rai heard footsteps and screams. But those sounds were quickly whipped away by the wind, as she fell like a rock down the sheer cliff face. As the seconds passed, Rai extended her arms and legs wide as she prepared to embrace the ocean's cold, quiet depths as they rushed up to meet her.
Chapter 15
“Are you sure you want to stay?" Graeber asked. "I can't guarantee you'll be able to get another escort before this situation with the Juggernaut passes."
Ponar rested his hands on the rock wall Rai jumped from the night before, looking out into the calm ocean waters. "If anything washes ashore ..."
"I understand," Graeber replied. The Guardians stationed at the Outpost had been searching the area for Rai's body, yet had found nothing. "You need to know: they might never recover her body. The ocean current along this shoreline runs south-south-east, directly away from the Cove."
"I know, but I can't leave yet," Ponar replied.
"I wouldn't be leaving either, but there's a time-sensitive situation to which I've committed my assistance." Graeber ran a hand through his hair.
"The Juggernaut?" Ponar asked. It wasn't appropriate to question a Guardian this way, but Rai's death had left him feeling raw and brazen.
"No, actually. I trust the Matriarchs will do whatever can be done to manage the Juggernaut. I have to catch up with an old friend and help her eliminate a particularly dangerous Terror." By all accounts, the Terror known as Terem had ground a wide swath of destruction through the Guardian Sept and showed no signs of slowing down.
"Aren't they all vicious? I mean, I can't imagine a Terror would scare you?"
"Oh, I'm not scared of the Terror," Graeber explained. "I'm concerned for my friend. She almost died the last time her path crossed with the Terror, and I'm afraid she's taking this kill a bit too personally because of it." Plus, when he shared with Bauleel the events of last night, well, hearing about her sister's death wouldn't improve her mood.
There was a pause as they both stared off into the ocean, each lost in their own grief.
"I still want to know the truth," Ponar admitted. Graeber turned and met his gaze. "I know it won't bring her back, but I loved her and can't help but wonder what she discovered from her past which drove her over the edge."
Silence hung in the air as Graeber considered his request. For a moment Ponar thought he'd give in and explain it all, but then Graeber shook his head.
"I'm sorry, Ponar, there's not much more I can tell you."
"I can tell you my mother, Chieftess Durmah, isn't going to give up on finding out about Rai's past."
Graeber took a deep breath. "Write to your mother. Tell her Rai was driven to deep depression over fears of her past and started using large quantities of faown. Her addiction caused her irrational behavior and drove her to suicide."
"She won't buy it," Ponar replied. "I know I don't."
"She'll have to. I don't have any other explanation for you."
"Just not one you're willing to give."
Graeber looked back out at the ocean, expression grim. "Rai was dead before you ever met her. She tried to hold on--to become someone new and leave her past behind--but she couldn't let go of who she used to be."
"Neither could you," Ponar spat back.
"No, I suppose I couldn't." Graeber turned and walked away without another word.
"Yeah, I can't seem to either."
Chapter 16
“What's the plan?" Rilte asked.
"We wait, and watch," Bauleel answered.
Both lay on their bellies in the tall grass under the shade of a large frond tree. Bauleel studied the Jonquin's Sept's farm with military precision. She'd noted all access points to the facility's outer wall and inner compound, done a headcount of the staff, and mentally logged visible weapons. Not that Terem would need them, but she'd be a fool to ignore them.
Rilte sighed. "We haven't moved for hours. You sure he's here?"
"Positive." She'd managed to track Terem's scent here, a mere four days after discovering his handiwork back at the outpost. It was unmistakable; this was the place.
"But everyone's acting normally. And the Sept members are alive," Rilte said.
"That's true. Remember what Captain Tiine said?"
"He claimed Terem wanted a quiet life on the farm, right?"
"That's correct," Bauleel replied. "And it looks like this is the farm of his dreams. Too bad for the Jonquin Sept."
"Yeah, and I'm not sure we're much safer," Rilte said. "You sure he won't be able to see us?"
"He might, but we're well hidden. As long as he's not wandering around outside the compound walls ..."
Rilte spun around, checking behind them anxiously. There was no one there. Bauleel once again regretted allowing him to join her on this trek. Unlike her, Rilte had no way of protecting himself against Terem and was certainly of no use fighting him.
"When are you going to alert Chieftess Raza?" he asked, settling back down.
"As soon as--well, now," Bauleel replied, pointing. "Look there, coming out of the stables."
Terem Zebio walked out of the stable and stretched his arms into the air, a broad smile on his face. A young boy who'd been playing in the yard walked up to him, and they talked. They seemed fast friends.
"He looks, uh, good?" Rilte said. "How long can he maintain like this?"
It was a rhetorical question; Rilte's training as a Technician meant he knew as much or more than she did on the matter. "He's got a stable mutation, remember? That's why they're called stable," Bauleel replied.
"You're not thinking of granting him his wish, are you? Letting him live here and not interfere?"
Bauleel pulled her roaming comm from her pocket. "Oh, never. Sure he can have a pleasant conversation on a sunny afternoon, and possibly maintain most of the time. It's the inevitable exceptions that make this farce completely unacceptable. We've both seen what he's capable of. That's a line you can't uncross."
She keyed in the GPS location, added a note that Terem was in a stable phase, and sent the short message to both Raza and Graeber. Although she saw some high-priority messages flashing in her queue, she slid the comm back into her pocket and her attention back to Terem's behavior. If he lost control, she'd have to intervene without any assistance. Hopefully, Graeber would respond and join her sooner than later. Terem wasn't going to be an easy kill.
"I've sent word," Bauleel explained. "Backup should arrive within a day or two."
"And in the meantime?"
"We watch and wait. I don't want to confront Terem and risk him turning on the Jonquin." Hopefully, when backup arrived, she would also be able to remove Rilte from the situation. The possibility Terem would recognize Rilte and then use him as a hostage had been haunting both her dreams and mental scenarios of the fateful encounter.
Repaying Rilte's kindness with such a death wasn't in her game plan. Somehow along this journey, she'd transitioned from admiring Rilte for his mental acumen and his upbeat personality to relying on him and caring for him. Not that she was altogether clear what her initial game plan with Rilte had consisted of, but now it included a depth of feeling she hadn't accounted for in her plans.
"I like the sound of that. Better to leave the matter to professionals anyway," Rilte replied.
Bauleel didn't take her eyes off Terem. "Don't worry. I'll get you away from here before things get mes
sy."
She felt his level of anxiety rise. Rilte had grown protective of her, and oddly enough Bauleel didn't mind that.
"You're planning on fighting him alongside the Guardians, aren't you?" he asked.
"They'll be assisting me."
"You can't be serious?"
Bauleel watched Terem toss a ball back and forth with the boy he'd been talking with. "He and I had some conversations before his escape. I'd like to think I'll be able to use that rapport to distract him long enough to get him out of the Jonquin Sept's compound."
"We're back to negotiation with a Terror now? And what if that doesn't work? What if, once he recognizes you, he attacks you in the compound, putting everyone inside at risk, including you?"
"He has to be stopped," Bauleel said. "If I'd done my job back at the Temple, stopped him then, then no one at the Outpost would have been killed by his madness."
"No one holds you responsible for that," Rilte replied. "Despite these clothes, you're not a trained Guardian and can't be expected to fight off a Terror."
Bauleel's frustration got the better of her. "I have extensive training in all aspects of the Guardian Sept's arts. I can assure you I've killed more Terrors than you could count without your stupid calculator."
Immediately Bauleel regretted her outburst. Rilte's distress was palpable. "I'm sorry, that was rude of me. I'm just so angry with myself. If I hadn't been so out of practice, fewer people would be dead now."
"I understand your frustration, but I'm sure even the best, well-trained Guardian gets caught off guard," Rilte murmured. "All of those who died at the Outpost were trained extensively, yes? Yet they were also caught off their guard. I'd also like to point out that you're not healed, and despite those Methuselah treatments you're not immortal."
She knew he was gently reminding her of her promise to explain those treatments. It was one of his motivations for following her on this journey. That and his admiration which, due to her gifts, she knew continued to grow.
Dreams Manifest (The Depths of Memory Book 2) Page 12