Wild Swans

by Patricia Snodgrass

  “Me?” Ruby asked, flustered. “No, of course not. I was just wondering what the two of you had your heads together about.”

  “What about it?” Althea asked, suspicious. “You don’t honestly think he was hitting on me...do you?”

  “Don’t be vulgar. And you still haven’t told me what the two of you were discussing so deeply on the porch.”

  Althea started to say sex but knew it’d only irk her mother. Besides, Althea didn’t want Ruby any more paranoid than she was already. “We talked about me getting married. He thinks it’s a simply wonderful idea. In fact, he said that his marriage was arranged too.”

  “Is that so? So where’s Madame de Lindt?”

  “She died.”

  “Oh I’m sorry to hear that,” Ruby replied. “What did she die of?”

  “Murder.”

  “How perfectly dreadful.”

  “But he did say he would never get married again.”

  “Do tell. Cally will be disappointed.”

  Althea relaxed and looked out at the darkness. “He told me that his people are different from most. He says they’re like wild swans.”

  “Swans? That’s the silliest thing,” Ruby laughed. “How can people be like swans?”

  “Mr. Lindt told me that swans mate for life and if one of them dies then the other spends the rest of his life alone.”

  “How very sad,” Ruby said in a way that made Althea think that she wasn’t sad at all.

  “But he told me that even though they’re separated by death, that everything God made isn’t permanent, not even death. Eventually the universe itself will crumble into dust, only to be reborn again and again. He seemed to take comfort in that notion. I thought it was kinda strange.”

  The scowl came back. “He said that, did he?” Ruby harrumphed. “That sounds like fool talk from one of those egg-headed atheists who think we were descended from monkeys. You’re going to confession tomorrow, to confess your tryst with Jake and for listening to the ignorant prattle of a foolish old atheist.” She paused and added, “I wonder what Mrs. Bristow would think if she knew an atheist was residing under our roof? Maybe I should talk to her about that.”

  “I don’t think Mr. Lindt is an atheist. I think his ideas might be peculiar but I don’t believe—”

  “—you’re going to confession tomorrow and that’s an end to it. And quit talking to him. I was going to ask him to walk you down the aisle but now I’m glad I didn’t bother. I had no idea that he was a crazy man. Yes. I have half a mind to call Mrs. Bristow in the morning and let her know what kind of tenant she saddled us with.”

  “He’s just a nice old man with different ideas. Can’t you believe for once a man can actually be kind?”

  “There’s no such thing.”

  “Say’s you. You’re meaner than any man I ever met.”

  “Wait until you find out about your beloved Jake, then you’ll see.” Ruby glanced at Althea who sat staring defiantly ahead. “Maybe then you’ll believe me when I tell you he’s stepping out.”

  “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.”

  “Yes you do, chere. Of course you do. Despite what you believe now, just remember this later...cherchez la femme.”

  “Look for the mistress? Oh how sad. Jake loves only me.”

  “Ask him about Matilda.”

  “I have no intention of doing so. That car could have belonged to anybody. The boy you saw with Matilda could have been any number of sandy-headed boys. You know what’s she’s like.”

  “Um hum. And I know what Jake’s like too.”

  “You’re lying. You’re just saying that so I won’t go running after him.”

  “You’ll see. If you don’t believe me now, you will later. I promise,” Ruby responded.

  “We’ll just see about that.”

  “Oh it will. Now hush, we’re here,” Ruby said as she pulled the Cadillac into the parking lot next to a black Lincoln Continental. “Now mind your manners and let me do all of the talking, you understand?”

  “I understand. I understand you’re deceiving these people,” Althea grumbled. “You asked me if you ever lied to me. Until all of this phony bologna you’ve been doing with the Cathars I’m not sure anymore. You’re blowing money and putting on airs so badly that everyone in Barlow is laughing at you behind your back. After seeing all of this, how do you expect me to believe what you told me about Jake and Matilda?”

  “How about you just call Matilda tomorrow when you get back from church and ask if you don’t believe me?” Ruby snorted. “She’ll tell you plenty alright and then she’ll laugh right in your face. I guarantee. . Maybe you’ll believe me then.”

  “Oh I’ll call, don’t you worry about that,” Althea quipped. “Now, let’s get this foolishness of yours done and over with, so we can go home and I can get out of this ridiculous dress.”

  Ruby raised her hand. Althea glared at her, her arched eyebrows raised, her expression defiant. “Don’t damage the goods,” she warned.

  Ruby lowered her hand just as two men and a woman exited the restaurant and walked toward them. The older portly man increased his pace as he waved.

  “Oh Lord, they’re coming over,” Ruby said as she plastered on a fake smile and returned the wave. “Behave yourself,” she hissed to Althea, “or so help me Mary and Joseph, I’ll pin your ears back when we get home.”

  Althea said nothing as she watched the Cathars cross a small grassy patch and head toward the Caddy. Ruby fussed with her hair, then rolled the car window down just as the trio arrived.

  “I see you finally found the prodigal daughter,” Mr. Cathar boomed as he opened the door for her mother. Althea’s door opened. She moved to step out, tripped and found herself in the arms of a remarkably handsome young man. Her heart skipped a beat. Is this the man she’s chosen for me? She wondered. If it is, then Mom did good.

  Ruby offered her daughter a smug look. Althea ignored it and stared up at Hank. He was tall, broad shouldered, with wavy blond hair and deep chocolate brown eyes. He had the same quizzical expression on his face as she. At this point Mrs. Cathar, a tall thin woman wearing a purple hat broke the silence.

  “I see the children have met.” Mrs. Cathar laughed as she approached Hank. Hank, suddenly embarrassed, released Althea and she straightened, blushing.

  Nervous, she touched her hair, wishing with all her heart that she had spent more time putting herself together.

  “We shouldn’t be standing out here in this damp night air,” Mr. Cathar said, frankly regarding Althea’s chest. “We could all come down with something.”

  “I’ll just bet,” Althea said, glaring at her future father-in-law.

  At that point, Hank offered Althea his arm. She took it and everyone followed them into the restaurant.

  Mr. Cathar had made arrangements earlier in the day for them to have a secluded table in the private section of the dining room. Hank pulled the chair out for Althea. Blushing, and not quite sure what to do because Jake never did anything like this for her, she looked to her mother. Ruby offered her a slight nod, and let Mr. Cathar slide a chair for her. She sat down in it, and Althea followed suit. Hank gently pushed the chair in for her and then went to assist his mother. What is it with men, Althea wondered, suddenly angry, that they think we’re so helpless we can’t pull a chair out for ourselves? She started to say it out loud, but before she could open her mouth a sharp pinch on her thigh made her jump. She glared at her mother. “Don’t do that again,” she hissed.

  “I hope you don’t mind the accommodations,” Mrs. Cathar was saying, apparently oblivious toward the brief scuffle between mother and daughter. “We couldn’t get a table at Chez Roland. The new manager simply didn’t understand we have a table reserved for us there at all times.” Mrs. Cathar picked up a fork from its place setting, frowned at it, then picked up her linen napkin and began polishing it.

  “And look at this,” the old horse faced woman complained, “they didn’t get the sil
ver right, and I told the waitress the last time we were here that they needed to take better care of their silver, didn’t I say that, Bruce darling?”

  “You did indeed.” Mr. Cathar grinned at Althea, who blushed crimson.

  “Nancy, dear,” Mrs. Cathar said to Ruby, “I am always saying to my girl, ‘Andrea dear, you absolutely must make sure the crystal and the silver are spotless.’ I won’t have spots on my good things. I simply won’t have it.”

  “Oh,” Ruby said, copying Mrs. Cathar’s officiousness, “I have the same trouble with my girls. Neither of them can do the silver right, either. And they never make the beds properly. The sheets are never ironed enough and they always put in too much starch. And neither of them knows how to do hospital corners right. Why I was just saying to Mrs. Seffy the other day—”

  “—and it was so kind of you to you let Mr. Dick our driver off for the night, Mother, ” Althea said in a snooty tone. “After all, Mrs. Dick and the new baby needed him at home. You know how those people are... thinking more of their families than their jobs.”

  “Don’t give in to their whims, Ruth, darling,” Mrs. Cathar interrupted. “They get uppity when you spoil them like that. It’s bad enough they think they’re just as good as we are,” Mrs. Cathar said with a disapproving tone. “I never let my girl have the day off—well Sunday morning to go to Mass—but afterwards I expect her back at the big house with dinner ready. The lazy slut hardly works now for the amount I pay her.” Mrs. Cathar pontificated. “I tell you, Ruthie, you let your help take advantage of you. Those people are having babies all the time. They’re not going to miss your driver for a few hours while they dump out another one.”

  Althea snickered.

  “Oh I like to drive,” Ruby said, offhandedly. “Besides, the help does like to gossip, and I wanted this little dinner party to be between us.”

  “Oh I know,” Mrs. Cathar said, as if it were possible to put on even more airs. “We had to let our own chauffeur go because he was spreading all sorts of lies about us, isn’t that right, Bruce?”

  Mr. Cathar grunted in agreement as he sampled a large dinner roll.

  “Why, you can’t trust any of them these days, can you, Ruthie dear? I was just saying the other day—”

  “Ruby,” Althea corrected.

  “What?” Mrs. Cathar looked confused. “Ruby?” She looked at Ruby and Althea as if trying to figure out exactly where the contradiction came from. “Don’t be silly. That’s a dreadful name. Something a stripper—” she said, lowering her voice, “—would call herself. Honestly, what self respecting woman would call herself something like that?”

  “I don’t know,” Althea said brightly, “maybe my mother?”

  Ruby sat with a smile that could have been etched in stone. Althea winked at Hank who choked on a glass of water. Mrs. Cathar, however, continued to speak as if not hearing Althea at all.

  “What I was saying, Ruthie darling, is that you simply can’t trust anything those darkies do. They’re getting uppity and forgetting their place, I say. If somebody doesn’t do something soon, we’ll all be murdered in our beds.”

  Althea caught a glance at Hank. His head was lowered, but she could see the bright red flush of embarrassment on his fair cheeks and forehead. Mr. Cathar winked at her, which gave Althea the creeps. She turned her gaze away from him as he motioned for the waiter.

  The waiter arrived, sniffed as if he smelled something unpleasant and asked, “Will this be on one ticket?” he asked.

  “Yes,” said Mr. Cathar

  “No,” said Ruby.

  “I’m picking up the tab tonight dear ladies, so please feel free to order whatever you desire.”

  Mrs. Cathar smiled painfully. Hank muttered under his breath.

  “Well, if you’re sure,” Ruby said. “I’ll just have a small rib eye with some grilled vegetables. No dessert,” she added, blushing. “A girl has to watch her figure you know.”

  “All too well,” Mrs. Cathar replied as she ordered a small salad.

  “My daughter will have a small sirloin—”

  “—No I won’t,” Althea interrupted.

  “What she means to say—” Ruby said through clenched teeth.

  “What I am saying,” she said, smiling up at the waiter, “is that I’m capable of making my own decisions.” She shot her mother a hateful glance and added, “so I’ll have the lobster with lots of butter, a baked potato with cheese and crème brûlée for dessert. And don’t worry about the salad. Leave the rabbit food for the rabbits.” She sat back in her seat, feeling a flush of pleasure at Mrs. Cather’s grimace. Ruby smiled despite her clenched jaw. “I’m young and I’ll burn it off,” Althea shrugged. She looked over at Hank and said, “won’t I?”

  Hank blushed all the way up to his hairline. Mr. and Mrs. Cathar laughed.

  “Ho, ho, Hank, looks like you have a real spitfire on your hands.” He slapped his son affectionately on the shoulder. “You’d better look out for her or she’ll be ruling the roost”

  “I like a girl who knows what she wants,” Hank said, smiling shyly. Althea grumbled. The adults laughed.

  “Hank was scared to death we saddled him with an ugly girl with no social graces whatsoever,” Mr. Cathar said. “But look at this beautifully poised young woman. Absolutely gorgeous. Why if I were twenty years younger—”

  “Well you’re not.” Mrs. Cathar smiled, despite the rage glistening from her dark brown eyes. “And that’s lucky for me, right girls?”

  Ruby murmured a vague agreement. Althea glared at Mr. Cathar, feeling revolted by the earnest way he looked at her.

  He’s hoping Hank doesn’t measure up in the bedroom scene. He’s hoping Hank will cast me aside and he can move into the bedroom on weekends or holidays or any time the little wife is away doing charity work. Althea ground her teeth and shot her mother a murderous look. I swear to God above I’ll put him into the ground if he moves just one toe out of line.

  Dinner arrived, interrupting her dark thoughts. Everyone was served. Conversation quieted down while Ruby daintily picked at her meal while Althea scarfed hers like a field hand. Mrs. Cathar nibbled on her small salad and regarded Althea and Mr. Cathar from heavy false eye lashes. She knows, Althea realized. The old bat ain’t as dumb as she looks.

  Mr. Cathar seemed oblivious to what his wife and prospective mistress were conveying silently between themselves. He ate as robustly, smacking his food and quaffing large glasses of wine. Althea turned away in disgust, focusing on her plate. Hank seemed disinterested in his dinner, and instead watched Althea. In fact he was gazing at her so intently that she dropped her fork, wiped her mouth on her napkin and asked, “What?”

  “Nothing,” Hank said, “just enjoying the scenery.”

  “Stop gawping like a fool,” Althea snapped, ignoring the poorly timed joke. “It’s vulgar to stare at a lady that way. Didn’t your nanny teach you manners?”

  Mr. Cathar laughed again.

  Mrs. Cathar agreed saying, “Miss Althea is quite correct Hank. Please don’t stare so hard.”

  “You’ll be seeing plenty of her soon enough. On your wedding night,” Mr. Cathar said, jabbing Hank in the ribs. Mrs. Cathar’s lips twitched into an embarrassed smile as she stomped down hard on her husband’s foot.

  Althea looked up at her mother, but Ruby was in her own world. She picked at her dinner, staring straight forward, not paying any attention to the fracas at the table. Her face was carefully blank, but the slight blush to her cheeks belied an inner fury that Althea was certain to burn out of control once she got her daughter back into the car. And Althea found she didn’t care. If she slaps me again, I’ll slap her back and I’ll keep slapping until I knock some sense into that fool head of hers.

  Althea’s crème brûlée arrived and she bolted it down too. She uttered a very satisfying belch which made Hank laugh, and belch even louder.

  Everyone but Ruby laughed.

  Althea pushed the empty plates aside and sat ramrod straigh
t with her hands in her lap, seething. She glared at her dinner companions. This is the way you want me isn’t it? You want me to be a pretty little lap dog, so here I am sitting here as dainty as you please. God help me if I should actually eat or get a stain on my dress. As long as I look like a little porcelain doll with about the same intelligence then all is well. Well, I won’t have it. I won’t. She slammed her napkin onto the table. I’m not a toy!

  “Althea,” Ruby hissed. “Your manners.”

  “My manners can go to hell,” Althea said. “And you can too.”

  Hank rose. “I think I’ll go out for some air,” he said. Mr. and Mrs. Cathar stared at each other. “Miss Althea, would you care to join me?”

  “I would not.” Althea snapped.

  Hank shrugged and said, “Suit yourself.”

  “Althea,” Ruby warned under her breath.

  “I’m not a lapdog,” Althea snapped. She turned toward the Cathars and said, “Nor a broodmare.”

  “Then quit acting like a bitch,” her mother whispered. “So help me when we leave here tonight...”

  “When we leave here tonight you won’t do a blessed thing, Mother.”

  “High strung, just like I said,” Cathar boomed. “Hank boy, you’re gonna have your hands full.”

  “And I’m sure you’re more than ready to help out,” Althea growled.

  Bruce Cathar’s mouth slammed shut, Mrs. Cathar looked scandalized. Ruby appeared to be on the verge of a stroke.

  “You know, what, Hank?” Althea said as she tossed her knife into the butter soaked plate. “I do believe I’ll take that walk.”

  Ruby stood. “I’ll chaperone.”

  “You will not. We’re not going far, just out to the car and back. I don’t need a babysitter for that.”

  “Althea,” Ruby warned.

  “Come on Miss Ruby, leave the kids alone. They ain’t gonna do nothing but talk. You know that,” Mr. Cathar said.

  “Well,” Ruby said, easing back down into the chair.

  “I promise I won’t get pregnant before I get back,” Althea scathed, then with a flick of her hair, left the table. Hank stumbled along behind her.