Send Me No Flowers

by Gabriel, Kristin

  “What?” she asked, then shook her head. “Oh, the wine. No, I still feel a little light-headed from that last glass.” She stumbled backward to the recliner and sat down.

  Russell seated himself on the floor, his elbows resting on his bent knees. “Looks like I’ve interrupted a party.”

  Rachel motioned toward the sofa. “This is Drew Lavery. He’s my...”

  “Date.” Drew finished the introduction for her, wanting Russell to know exactly where he stood in the pecking order.

  Russell cocked a brow. “Really? That surprises me. You don’t strike me as Rachel’s type.”

  “And who exactly are you?” Drew asked.

  Rachel cleared her throat. “This is Russell Baker. He’s my...”

  “Fiancé,” Russell concluded, with a cocky grin.

  Drew turned to Rachel. “You’re engaged?”

  “Yes. No. Well...I suppose, technically, we’re sort of engaged.”

  Drew’s jaw clenched, his voice sounding harsher than he intended. “Rachel, there’s no such thing as sort of engaged. Either you’re engaged or you’re not.”

  Rachel tipped up her chin. “We aren’t engaged,” she said in a firmer voice. “Not anymore.”

  “But, Lovebug...” Russell began.

  She turned to him. “And how dare you waltz into my apartment one year after you waltzed out, without a word or a letter or even a telephone call!”

  “I can explain.”

  Drew sat back, ready to enjoy the show. He knew from personal experience that nobody could do battle like Rachel Grant.

  “Explain?” she repeated, her brown eyes snapping. “How do you explain practically abandoning me at the altar? We were supposed to get married last February. Until you pulled your disappearing act.”

  Married? Last February? No wonder she hated Valentine’s Day. Which reminded him of his purpose here tonight. He was supposed to be persuading Rachel to drop the boycott. Instead he was acting like a bulldog protecting its turf. A gentleman would leave these two alone to work out their problems. Then again, a gentleman wouldn’t have kissed Rachel to the point of passing out. So maybe he should stay. Just to size up the competition. Rachel, not Russell, he reminded himself firmly. His first priority needed to be the city of Love.

  “Just hear me out, Lovebug,” Russell said.

  Drew’s hand curled into a fist. If he called her that stupid pet name one more time...

  “All right,” she said, settling into the chair, a becoming flush on her cheeks. “Let’s hear it.”

  Russell drained his wineglass, then poured himself another. He cleared his throat twice, then sighed as he stared up at the ceiling. Drew half expected him to pull a violin out of his knapsack to accompany his sob story.

  “Let me take you back to last February,” Russell began, “so you can be inside my head.”

  That was the last place Drew wanted to be, but Rachel actually looked intrigued. He supposed that was the therapist in her. Which made him wonder if this Russell knew just what buttons to push.

  “I didn’t have any doubts about our marrying until I was awarded that grant from the entomology department. Suddenly I had enough money for my dream trip to Africa to study the dung beetle.” Russell took a deep sip of wine. “Only how could I ask you to give up your career and come with me? You had your own career and patients that depended on you. And I couldn’t imagine spending our honeymoon apart. Especially since I’d be gone for months.”

  “So you chose the dung beetle over me,” Rachel said softly.

  “I needed to find myself,” Russell explained. “I didn’t know what I wanted anymore. I wasn’t sure I was ready for marriage. And I loved you too much to pretend.”

  Drew rolled his eyes, but Rachel seemed spellbound. She pulled her long legs up against her chest, wrapping her arms around them and resting her chin on her knees.

  Russell sighed. “But instead of finding myself, I got lost.”

  “You mean emotionally lost?” Rachel asked.

  Russell shook his head. “No, I mean actually lost. One of the guides took me into the bush on a beetle safari. But it started to rain, a monsoon, actually, and the Jeep got stuck in the mud. While the guide went to get help, I went to find shelter. My colleagues finally found me six months later living with a village of natives.”

  “That’s incredible,” Rachel said, exhaling.

  Drew found it preposterous. This so-called story sounded more like a pile of...dung. But Rachel actually looked as if she believed him. Or wanted to believe him.

  Russell nodded. “I know. But you can check it out with Professor Simmons from the university. They were all ready to give me up for dead when they came upon me in that village three weeks ago.”

  “Lucky for us,” Drew said dryly.

  “Getting lost in the bush was the best thing that ever happened to me,” Russell said, gazing into Rachel’s eyes. “Not only did I discover a rare new species of African dung beetle, but I discovered I loved you, Rachel. Truly and deeply. And now the most important thing to me is spending the rest of my life making you happy.”

  She twisted her hands in her lap. “This is all so...unexpected. I don’t know what to say.”

  “Don’t say anything. Yet.” Russell got to his feet, picking up his knapsack. Then he looked at Drew, hitching his eyebrows toward the door. Sending him a silent message to get lost himself.

  Drew just smiled as he settled deeper into the sofa. He wasn’t planning on going anywhere.

  Russell gave up and turned back to Rachel. He pulled a small velvet box out of his knapsack. “This is for you,” he said, handing it to her.

  She held it in her hands, looking uncertain. “Gee, Russell, you shouldn’t have.”

  “Open it,” he prodded.

  Drew set his jaw, wondering if Russell dressed like a drifter because he’d spent all his cash on a three-carat diamond ring. Or some exquisite emerald from an African mine. He carefully watched Rachel’s expression as she opened the lid. If she smiled and squealed at the sight of some gaudy ring, then Drew was out the door.

  But instead of joy, her face reflected puzzlement.

  Rachel looked up at Russell. “It’s a bug.”

  He bent down in front of her. “I know. The rare dung beetle I discovered near that village. Unknown until now, it’s destined to make me famous among entomologists all over the world.”

  She stared down at the dead black bug in the red velvet box. “That’s...wonderful, Russell.”

  “But you haven’t even heard the best part,” he exclaimed.

  “You’re going back to Africa?” Drew ventured.

  Russell scowled at him, then turned back to Rachel. “No. The best part is that I named it for you. You’re looking at the Rachelona cyanella.”

  Her eyes widened as she stared at the beetle. “Gee...I don’t know what to say.”

  Russell moved closer to her, grasping her free hand in both of his. “Say you’ll take me back, Rachel. Please let me prove to you how much I really love you.”

  When his chest began aching, Drew realized he was holding his breath waiting for her answer. On the one hand, he thought Rachel much too sensible to fall for this guy’s lame excuses. On the other hand, he knew plenty of women who fell for goofy intellectuals like the bug doctor.

  Russell took the velvet box from her, carefully closing it, then setting it on an end table. “Don’t say anything yet. I know this is all a shock to you. I probably should have called you as soon as I got back to civilization. But I wrote you a letter every day I spent in that village.” He pulled a stack of ivory envelopes tied with a pink silk ribbon from his knapsack.

  “They have hotel stationery in the bush?” Drew asked, not bothering to hide his skepticism.

  “I wrote it on tree bark, then transcribed it onto paper later.” He pushed the envelopes into her lap. “You can read these, then give me your answer. We’ll have plenty of time to get reacquainted now that I’m back.”

&nbs
p; “Where are you staying?” Rachel asked.

  Russell put on a little boy lost expression he’d obviously perfected wandering around in Africa. “I spent my last dime on a first-class ticket back to the States. I couldn’t wait to be with you again. But since I won’t start teaching back at the university until the summer session, I was hoping you’d let me camp out here.”

  “Here?” Rachel and Drew said at the same time.

  “I travel light,” he said, motioning to his knapsack. “I’ve learned to relinquish material things for what’s really important, like love and friendship. I just want to fill my life and my heart with you.”

  Drew thought he might be sick. What did this guy do, memorize Hallmark cards in his spare time?

  Rachel nibbled her lower lip. “But this apartment only has one bedroom.”

  Russell grinned. “Sounds perfect to me.”

  It sounded a little too cozy to Drew. It also made him want to wipe that smile off Russell’s face. Preferably with his fist. But what right did he have to interfere with their relationship? Despite that soul-searing kiss, he didn’t have any claim on Rachel.

  Although he still needed to convince her to drop the boycott. That was the prime objective of this date. A date that wasn’t going exactly as he planned.

  He looked from Rachel to her love-struck fiancé as a new strategy formed in his mind. He didn’t like it. In fact, he almost considered declaring her the winner in their endless Valentine’s Day debate just so he could avoid going to this extreme. But that meant throwing in the towel, and Drew never quit competing until the last play of the game. Now he just needed to alter his game plan. He needed more time. More access to Rachel. He needed a reason to keep her in his life.

  He needed...a roommate.

  6

  Send me no flowers,

  it just Isn’t done.

  It’s perfectly clear

  I’ve already won.

  TWO DAYS LATER Rachel lay on the tweed sofa in her office while her best friend played therapist. “So do you think I’m paranoid?” she asked, staring up at the ceiling. She saw a dead bug in the fluorescent light fixture and vaguely wondered if she should give it to Russell for his birthday.

  Or maybe a bug zapper. A gift that kept on giving.

  Gina sat in the armchair, thumbing through a mercenary magazine in her search for the perfect hit man. “Paranoid? Just because your date asked your fiancé to move in? Of course not.”

  “My ex-fiancé,” Rachel amended. “Although, I never gave him the ring back.”

  “How could you? He left the continent.”

  “Exactly. So we never officially broke it off.” She rested her arms behind her head. “Isn’t there some sort of statute of limitations on disappearing fiancés?” Gina shrugged. “According to my research, a missing person can be legally declared dead after seven years. But I don’t know about missing fiancés. Do you want me to look into it?”

  “No,” Rachel replied. “I want you to help me figure out the motive behind Drew’s suspiciously generous offer. Why would he offer a room in his house to a complete stranger?”

  “Loneliness?”

  Rachel grimaced at Gina. “Please. The man needs a revolving door on his house to keep his girlfriends from bumping into each other. No, I think he’s up to something.”

  “But what? You told me he didn’t even like Russell.

  “Well, he certainly didn’t act like it. Making snide remarks when Russell was telling his story. He even stepped on Russell’s knapsack.”

  “Sounds like jealousy to me.”

  Rachel rolled her eyes. “That’s ridiculous. We can’t agree on anything. And he thinks I’m a kook.”

  “But what about that kiss?”

  Rachel gazed at her friend in astonishment. “How did you find out? I never told you Drew kissed me last night.”

  “Ve fake therapists have vays of making you talk.” Gina slurred, in an atrocious German accent. “Besides, you did tell me. Just now. I was referring to that kiss in the television parking lot.”

  “Oh,” Rachel replied, her cheeks growing warm.

  Gina tapped her finger against the magazine. “Out with it, Rach. What happened between you and the mayor last night? I want details. Lots of details. Since my love life’s in the toilet, I have to live vicariously through you.”

  “There’s not much to tell,” Rachel began, wondering how to describe a nuclear meltdown in her living room. “We kissed, Russell rang the doorbell and the date went downhill from there. Then they left together, leaving me alone in the apartment.”

  Gina arched a dark brow. “So which one did you want to stay?”

  Rachel bit her lip, wishing she knew the answer. “Neither one, I suppose. Although I still have a lot of questions for Russell.”

  “You have to admit his lost in the bush story sounds a tad farfetched. How many entomologists do you know who disappear in search of the elusive dung beetle? For six months, no less.”

  Rachel stifled a giggle that she feared was closer to hysteria than humor. “I know. But Professor Simmons called me this morning and backed up everything Russell told me. He really was missing from the camp for six months. They finally found him in that village three weeks ago. Professor Simmons even saw the piles of tree bark love letters he’d written me.”

  “Wow. That’s incredible. So is Russell still a hunk?”

  Rachel nodded. “Yes. In a disheveled, scholarly, rough-around-the-edges kind of way.”

  Gina sighed as she fell back against the chair. “Just like Harrison Ford in those Indiana Jones movies.”

  Rachel nodded. “Exactly. Too handsome for his own good. Or mine.”

  “So maybe Drew is jealous. Maybe he couldn’t stand the thought of you two alone together.”

  Rachel considered Gina’s theory, then voiced a theory of her own. “Or maybe he wants to use Russell to get to me somehow.”

  Gina shook her head. “Men as handsome as Drew Lavery are usually not that smart. And they’re definitely not as devious as women. Maybe there’s no ulterior motive. Maybe he’s just a nice guy doing you a favor.”

  “By keeping my fiancé for me until I decide if I want him back?” Rachel said skeptically.

  “Ex-fiancé,” Gina reminded her.

  “And you’re wrong about Drew,” Rachel continued as if Gina hadn’t spoken. “He’s one of those rare exceptions of men with both brain and brawn. I wouldn’t put anything past him.”

  “So what about Russell? Do you want him back?”

  Rachel sighed. “Besides his looks, Russell’s dedication to his career always appealed to me. I thought we’d be perfect together. But now I realize respect and admiration aren’t enough. Ever since I met...”

  “Drew?”

  Rachel shook her head. “I don’t know what I want Believe it or not, I’m a little confused right now.”

  “I believe it,” Gina said. “I saw all the Twinkie wrappers in your office wastebasket. Eat enough of those, my little cupcake, and soon neither one of them will want you.”

  Rachel scowled at her. “This is not helping. I need answers. Although...I think I just figured out why Drew offered Russell a place to stay.”

  Gina sat up in the chair. “Well, don’t keep me in suspense.”

  “It’s the boycott,” Rachel said simply, wondering why she hadn’t figured it out sooner. “He wants to use Russell as leverage. Maybe he thinks I’ll be so grateful to him for offering my ex-fiancé a place to stay that I’ll change my mind about boycotting Valentine’s Day.”

  Gina shook her head. “That sounds pretty lame to me. I’m still voting for the jealousy theory. Drew couldn’t stand the thought of you two alone together, so he sacrificed his home to the cockroach king.”

  “Russell is into beetles now. He even named one for me. The Rachelona cyanella.”

  “I always thought Russell was a little strange. I think you should go after the mayor.”

  Rachel frowned. “The mayor is i
n retreat, planning his next attack. I haven’t heard a word from him since our date.”

  Gina didn’t say anything. Rachel glanced over to see her staring intently at the magazine. “What is it?”

  “A grenade that looks just like a pineapple,” Gina said. “Kurt loves pineapple. What if I sent him a fruit basket...”

  “Forget it, Gina,” Rachel said, just as the intercom buzzed on Rachel’s desk.

  She rose from the sofa, all those Twinkies rumbling in her stomach. Maybe she’d overdone it this time. She shouldn’t have eaten that last box.