Everlasting

by L. K. Kuhl

  Sophia Bandell

  That night I dreamed of Tate. I was walking along the beach, and the first thing I smelled was the scent of his shaving cream, faint at first, then getting stronger. He came riding up on a personal watercraft. But just as his eyes hooked me, he turned, speeding away, leaving only the sound of the waves splashing in his wake. I held my arms out to him, calling, begging him to come to me. When he turned his head back over his shoulder to look at me, it was one of the cloaked men—evil and dark, wailing a sinister, malevolent laugh.

  I shot up, startled, the waves still crashing against the shoreline outside. Cold had my hands and feet feeling like polar ice caps. Shivering, my throat scratchy, I got up to shut the windows. The wind blew, stirring up cool, damp air. Before I got back into bed, I glanced down at Symphony sleeping on hers. I sighed, tucking my knees to my chest and pinching the blankets up under my chin. At least one of us was able to release Tate and sleep.

  * * *

  My eyes flitted open to a dim gloominess, and I wasn’t even sure it was morning. The storm from yesterday clung to the sky, leaving it overcast and gray. I shook, still cold from last night. A glance at my phone told me it was eleven. The dream I had last night drained me of all energy, leaving me worn and unrested. Symphony stretched on her blanket, head resting on her paws, giving me a wag when I got up.

  “Did you sleep well?” I bent down and tousled her ears. She yawned, then got up and shook, ridding her body of sleep. “We are going to find Tate today.”

  But, first, I needed to show Mandy the CD. I pulled open the drawer and grabbed up a handful of underwear.

  A gasp seized in my throat. It wasn’t there. I scrounged, frantic, digging deep, tossing my underwear out over the edge, littering the floor. The CD wasn’t anywhere. My chest heaved. I dug faster, slinging my other drawers wide. Maybe I had put it in one of those. What happened? No one but me knew it was in here. Ransacked by my own doing, my room looked like a battlefield as I scattered the clothes I took off last night and looked in the nightstand table by my bed.

  My mind flew to Mandy. Did she have something to do with this? Asking her would have to wait. I couldn’t bring up something I couldn’t show her.

  When I went downstairs, I found her and Matt standing by the sink, wrapped in each other’s arms. They were both giggling and giving each other small kisses. I turned around, my face warming, traipsing back to the living room before they saw me.

  But Mandy spoke, swatting at Matt’s groping hand. “Morning, Soph. Bout time you got up. Where’re you going?”

  I glanced at the counter across the room, seeing the full soda glass still sitting there from last night. Mandy hadn’t taken one sip. “Oh, uh…uh-hum…I didn’t want to disturb you.” I turned back around to look at them.

  “That’s okay. I needed a way to get this leech off me.” Annoyance crowded her face as she pushed Matt away.

  Matt grabbed at her ribs, tickling. “Don’t let her fool ya. She loves it.”

  She squinted her eyes. “Yeah, right. You’re a two-year-old. I think I’m changing my mind about having kids.”

  Mandy settled into a kitchen chair and unscrewed the lid off of the grape jelly, spreading some on her toast. “So, you going to look for Tate today?”

  “Ya think?” Matt poked her again.

  “I wasn’t asking you.”

  “Yeah…probably won’t have much luck. I’m hoping Symphony will make it easier.” I gave Symphony a bite of my toast. She inhaled it in one gulp. Mandy’s sat untouched on her plate.

  “Matt and I’ll go with you. It’s chilly today, so we won’t do much swimming, but we can help you look.”

  “Okay. Maybe with all of us searching, he’ll turn up.”

  * * *

  The cool air and drizzle sprinkled my face when we stepped outside, wilting my hair. I had slipped a jacket over my T-shirt to keep the chill and dampness away. A few swimmers and surfers still played the beach—the few that were unable to put their fun away. Symphony walked beside us, her nose to the ground.

  We meandered over to our usual hangout, each finding a chair. It had been forever since I’d been here, and I smiled inside. Even though the day was cool, this place was beginning to feel like home.

  Mandy sat down and looked up at the sky. “I bet these clouds burn off soon. Then, it’ll probably get hot.”

  Five seconds later, Brian Tarris came loafing over.

  “Oh, great, not him again.” I winced, wishing it would have been Tate heading in my direction instead of him. “Symphony’s getting restless. I need to start searching for Tate. Besides that, I don’t want to talk to Brian.”

  Matt gave a chuckle. “Who needs Tate when you got this guy?” He laughed again and gestured with his thumb toward Brian.

  I jerked a glance to the side and got up from the chair, taking off toward the water, Symphony by my side.

  Brian followed behind, his finger pushing his glasses. “Sophia, wait.” He picked up speed, getting closer, his white sneakers kicking up sand in his wake. “I haven’t seen you in days. I want to talk to you.”

  I put my hand up to stop him. “No, Brian, I want to be alone today. There’s a lot on my mind, and I want to do some thinking.”

  “I’ll let you think. Won’t even talk. I just want to be with you.”

  “Please…not today. Maybe some other time.”

  His head dropped. “Alright, but let’s get together later. I miss you.”

  “We’ll see.” I hid my face behind my hair. “I’ll look you up if I feel I want to see you.”

  “You promise?” He licked his lips, his question hopeful but infused with a tinge of doubt.

  “Promise.”

  “Where’d you get that dog?”

  “She belongs to a friend of mine. I’m babysitting for a few days.”

  “Oh, okay…guess I’ll see you later then.” He lowered his head again, kicking at the sand.

  “Bye.”

  Symphony and I continued walking along the shoreline. I folded my arms over my chest, keeping the cool breeze from invading my warmness. The fog violated the air, heavy and thick, the fine mist making the visibility poor.

  Up ahead in the distance, someone advanced toward us, ambling, and every once in a while bending over, as if picking something up. The closer the person got, it became easier to make out the silhouette—tall, masculine.

  Symphony’s ears shot straight. She sniffed the air, then bolted at full speed, barking—in hysterics. My heart stopped. I tripped, going down on my knees in the sand.

  I got up in a hurry and dusted off, my gaze glued to my feet, pretending I didn’t just do that. The adrenaline pumped through me, and I trembled. It amazed me how one glimpse of Tate messed up my entire equilibrium. I walked toward him, the salty smell of the ocean grabbing my nose.

  An excited whine erupted from deep within Symphony’s throat. She jumped on him, licking him everywhere, couldn’t get enough.

  “Hi, Symph.” His sensual voice riveted through me. He dropped to his knees, hugging her. “How’s my girl…? I’ve missed you.”

  Symphony pummeled him, and they rolled around in the sand. I watched, a smile varnishing my face. The sand coated both of them, and an envious pang for Symphony lodged just under my breast bone.

  Tate looked up at me with the most alluring, cobalt-blue eyes I’d ever seen. “Sophia, I can’t believe it’s you.” His eyes locked on mine, sinking me. I should have known they would match the rest of his good looks.

  The muscles above my mouth twitched. My gut twirled and jumped. Words stammered and hitched before finally breaking free. “I can’t believe it’s you…either.”

  “Where’d you find her?” He got up, dusting the sand from his arms and knees. “I’ve been worried.”

  Nothing came out when I opened my mouth to speak. I wanted to tell him that I had been worried about him, too, sickeningly so, but the words eluded me. Finally, I sputtered out, “I found her out by the old cemetery
, yesterday.” I swallowed hard and rubbed the back of my neck, trying to calm my shaky voice. “But she was taken to the pound over a week ago. They were going to euthanize her, but somehow she escaped. I didn’t understand how you became separated from her. I tried to find you, but never could.”

  He hung his head. “Uh…yeah…about that…I feel horrible.” He bit his lip and threw his hands to his hips, looking off to the left. “The day I lost her, I’d…I’d gotten sick. Had to leave the beach immediately. It wasn’t pretty. She’d gotten away from me earlier, and I couldn’t find her, but I was too sick to keep looking.”

  He whipped out a pen and pulled a wadded piece of paper from his pocket, jotting something down. “Here, take this. It’s my number in case anything like this ever happens again.” His expression was wistful as he handed me the wrinkled paper.

  I took a step back. Maybe we were only going to be friends if the only reason he wanted to give me his number was to help him find his dog. I folded it up and stuck it in my jacket pocket. “It was no problem, really. Symphony’s a good dog.” My lips jumped when I smiled, giving away my uneasiness.

  We stood there and looked around, an awkward silence playing between us. Then, he stepped closer and took my hand in his. A bolt of staggering electricity zipped through my chest. “Her hand fits perfectly in mine.” He whispered this, as if confirming it with someone. His gaze locked on it, analyzing, then with a shake of his head, he spoke louder. “Sophia, I’m sorry. I…I lied to you.”

  I looked at him—bewilderment crinkling my face—and tried to understand. “Lied?” My voice broke. “I don’t get it.”

  “I wasn’t sick that day. Well, in a way I was, I guess. The truth is, I was gut-sick. That guy…he was sitting by you the whole day...and…and he never left your side. I’d check throughout the day, but he was still there. I couldn’t help it. I was insanely jealous.” He looked down, his tone deepening as he flexed his fingers that were still laced through mine.

  “What?” His words astounded me. I swiped my brow with my free hand. “You were jealous…over me?”

  He released my hand and paced back and forth, the nervousness seeping through as he wrung his hands. “I know it’s stupid, but I couldn’t help myself. I love the way you laugh and…I like you, Sophia…a lot, and it hurt me to see you with someone else.”

  He lifted his hair off his forehead, pushing it up. His eyes locked on mine again, captivating me. I couldn’t look away. My self-consciousness took over—heckling me. The way I looked right now—with my hair a matted mess from the mist, and no makeup on—must look ridiculous. I drew away, making myself smaller.

  I laughed my nervous laugh and kicked the sand with my shoe. “Who, him? You mean…Brian?” My words wobbled, but I giggled, unable to believe that Brian talking to me could make anyone jealous. “He’s just some nerdy guy that I couldn’t get rid of that day. He drove me nuts, but I didn’t have the heart to tell him to get lost, even though I wanted to. Now, he won’t leave me alone.” I hesitated. “But I…I feel the same way. I saw you with those girls and had the…same feeling.” My face flushed; I couldn’t believe I was telling him this.

  “Oh, Sophia, you’ve no idea what that means to me.” He reached for my hand again, bringing my fingers to his lips. I jumped, my heart thumping through my chest as he held it there. This was all new and foreign—I’d never had a guy do this to me before. The closest I had ever been to a guy was standing at arm’s length at the school dance with Jimmy Yale.

  “And as for those girls, they meant nothing—don’t even come close to comparing to you. I know this sounds bad, but I was using them to make you jealous. It was stupid, I know, but that’s what you do to me.”

  “Well…it worked.” Another nervous laugh escaped. My head buzzed, light and airy.

  Tate pulled me in tight and held me there. His heartbeat battered against my breast, pounding restlessly. My stomach lurched and I bit my lip, body quivering. I couldn’t believe this was really happening. Awkward and stiff, my movements were disjointed. Am I even doing this right? I didn’t know what to say, where to put my hands.

  He held me for a long time, then we walked along the beach, hand in hand.

  He stopped and pulled something out of his pocket. “See what I found?”

  His hand opened up to rainbow-colored seashells resting in his palm, all in different sizes. “They’re cool.” I forced myself to look up into his eyes, resisting the pull of my head trying to bury itself in my neck. Be strong. You can do this. My eyes lifted and I stared into his, resting my smile there. I did it. My lips were shaking and eyes twitching, but I did it.

  “They’re not just seashells, either. They’re homes for hermit crabs. You see, hermit crabs are always looking for new homes to move into when they get too big. Never truly satisfied, they seek, trying to find a better place. But once they find it—that perfect one—they want to remain there forever, knowing it’s exactly where they’re supposed to be.” His eyes glowed like he knew from experience.

  We hunted for hermit crabs and found quite a few crawling on the sand. Some of them moved fast. Tate showed me the difference between a thinstripe and a flat-clawed crab. He found a big thinstripe and put it in the palm of my hand.

  “Yuck.” The urge to shake it off overwhelmed me, and I shuddered. “I don’t like the way they feel. They freak me out.”

  We watched the crab crawling on my hand. I struggled to hide my expression of utter fear, and couldn’t keep from wincing.

  He laughed and picked it up. “It’s okay, they won’t hurt you.”

  We searched for more seashells as Symphony jogged ahead of us, scaring seagulls and terns that ran along the beach.

  She ran back to us, and Tate rubbed her head, scratching behind her ears. “Good job, girl. She’s been out here long enough to know that those are the kinds of birds that eat hermit crabs.”

  After we had a pocketful of seashells and a couple of hermit crabs, we continued walking. I let Tate carry the crabs. “Let’s get out of this chill and take a ride. You wanna?”

  My eyes downshifted and I gulped. I bit my bottom lip. “Sure…of course.” A flash of heat whizzed through me. This meant I would be locked up in a car with him…for hours possibly. Something about that made me panic. If he only knew how bad I was at trying to talk and carry on a conversation, he never would have asked me. What would we talk about for that long?

  “We’ll walk to my house, get my car, and drop the crabs and seashells off. Put ‘em in my aquarium.”

  We walked closer to where Mandy and Matt sat, and I froze, my shoulders tightening. My breathing bursting in and out…explosive. I couldn’t speak.

  Gathered around Mandy and Matt, in a tight circle, were the eight black-cloaked men. They called out grotesque chants, ramming spears and tridents in the air and taking sharp jabs at Matt and Mandy. My knees weak, I struggled, almost collapsing. Tate walked on, pulling me. I couldn’t believe he didn’t see them.

  When we got nearer, a smaller cloaked one cavorted in the center of them all. I stopped and looked closer, my head reeling. My heartbeat raced, erupting. Lidia…it was Lidia Forester—the lady from the plane. She danced around in the middle but wasn’t jabbing at Matt and Mandy. It was at the cloaked men, like she was trying to chase them away. The tight hood pulled in around her face made it hard to see her, but the black mole on her nose made her unmistakable.

  Unable to hold it in any longer, I screamed, the full force of my lungs and Tate’s ears taking the brunt.

  Tate stopped, turning toward me. “What’s wrong? You hurt?” He gripped my shoulders, coddling me into him.

  “Don’t you see them…they’re right there….” I screamed again, pointing. Then I buried my head into his chest, horrified.

  “What are you talking about? It’s just a couple of empty chairs.” His eyes blinked wide, but he held me close.

  I pulled away, my mouth falling open. Dazed, I peered at the two empty chairs where, just a moment
ago, strange, horrifying things had taken place. My quivering fingers touched my parted lips as I stood there staring, unable to comprehend.

  I shook my head. “I don’t understand…my friends…they were here…. Evil, cloaked men danced around them…with spears in their…” Tate looked at me, a dumbfounded, questioning look rippling across his face. My brow wrinkled, my stomach queasy. I placed my quivering hand to my forehead. What is happening? Something had to be wrong with me when nobody else was seeing the things I was.

  Tate grabbed my hand, and we continued on past the Ice Cream Shack. “Let’s go back to my place for a while. Maybe you need to rest.”

  Chapter 9

  We kept on moving and ran flush into Brian. Tate let go of my hand and stepped back. His resistance strong…the discontentment pushing through me.

  “Hi, Sophia, get your mind cleared? You wanna hang out, now?”

  I winced. He actually had the nerve to stop and talk to me when I was obviously with someone else. Tate stayed silent. Not knowing what to say with Tate standing beside me, my words stuttered. “I did…but I’m with someone else now, Brian. I need you to leave me alone.”

  Brian twitched his shoulder, giving me a look like I was half crazy. “Okay, if that’s the way you want it.” The hurt ran deep in his voice, and a pang ripped through my tummy for being mean. He kicked at the sand with his sneaker. “But if you ever need to talk, you know where to find me.”

  I nodded. “Good-bye.”

  “Bye.” He turned and walked away, giving two quick looks over his shoulder.

  I shook my head, ashamed at the bad circumstances. “I’m so sorry, Tate.” My voice sounded weak. “That’s the nerd I told you about. The gall of him to walk up to me with you standing right here. He doesn’t get it.”