By Allie X

by Anna Samuels

  ‘Why?’ she asked. ‘Surely a degree in English Literature is a perfect foundation for a writer role?’

  ‘Perhaps…but I never made it happen.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Because I fell into a job as an estate agent. I didn’t look back…I couldn’t afford to really.’

  ‘No. I understand that. Sometimes we do what we have to do, right?’

  I smiled at her.

  ‘What?’

  ‘I have a quote on my wall which says something like that,’ I told her softly.

  ‘What does it say?’ she asked.

  ‘Do what you have to do, until you can do what you want to do,’ I replied.

  ‘Brilliant quote.’

  ‘It was Oprah Winfrey, apparently.’

  ‘I like the message. So, you still dream then?’

  I nodded, ‘I do…but I also pay my rent by working where I’ve always worked,’ I nodded.

  ‘Yeah…do you enjoy it?’ she asked. ‘Being an estate agent?’

  ‘I don’t not enjoy it…I mean, I’m content you might say…I’m just not…’

  ‘Happy?’

  I nodded, and turned to look out to sea. Suddenly I felt a warm hand touch mine and I jumped at the electricity that flooded through me. My eyes flew to hers.

  ‘We have one life, Cass.’

  I looked at her, wondering what she was saying.

  ‘I just mean, try…’

  I nodded, understanding her meaning.

  ‘Follow your dreams…reach for those stars…’ she said softly.

  ‘I want to, Allie…I just…’

  ‘You’re scared,’ she said simply. ‘I understand. I was scared too, when I started the gallery. Living by your art? Not many succeed in that one,’ she told me.

  ‘No…I mean, I can understand why you do, but for many people, making art must just be a hobby because making money from it is difficult.’

  ‘Exactly. So, don’t give up on your dreams, okay? They needn’t be dreams-you just have to make them reality.’

  I nodded, a slow smile spreading over my face. ‘Thanks Allie.’

  She smiled. ‘So, go on…you were telling me about your life.’

  ‘I was? Where did I get to?’

  ‘You work in an estate agents and you don’t live by the sea.’

  ‘Ah yes…so I work in town-Ryebridge. I have been there for about six years and I like it…it’s fine. I work regular hours-Monday to Friday nine to five and I have a nice rental property nearby.’

  ‘So, you rent? Even though you’re an estate agent?’

  I nodded. ‘Yes. I am looking to buy-I have a deposit ready-but all I can afford is not to my liking…’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘Yeah…the trouble is, I thought by now that things would be different. I imagined buying a home with a partner, not on my own.’

  She nodded. ‘I understand that…’

  ‘I do want my own home but I see now that buying alone is close to impossible-well, anywhere decent I really like!’

  ‘Exactly! Because generally two wages are needed for a decent place,’ she commented.

  ‘That’s what I’m finding. So, for now, I stay in my rental property and hope…’

  ‘Hope what? That you find a place you can afford?’

  ‘No…that I meet someone at last,’ I told her.

  ‘Oh…’ she murmured.

  I glanced up at her. I had been toying with stones and I placed one in her treasure pot.

  ‘Why haven’t you ended up with anyone?’ Allie asked gently, her voice enquiring.

  I sighed and met her eyes. ‘In all honesty-I don’t know. There must be something wrong with me, I reckon, because I’ve never found the right person to settle down with.’

  ‘Why would you assume it’s about you? You seem like a lovely person,’ she commented.

  ‘I just…I think I’m too fussy or something. I’ve had partners and my friends are always setting me up on blind dates but it never works out…’

  ‘Never?’

  ‘Not really. My longest relationship was a year…aside from that we’re looking at a few for a month and then just dates. I wanted to get married and have children but that seems to be slipping further and further away from me.’

  ‘I see…can I ask you something, Cass?’

  ‘Sure!’ I replied, looking up.

  ‘Is it women you’re interested in?’ she asked.

  I nodded, ‘Yes…and you?’ I questioned, seeing as I may as well ask seeing as she had.

  ‘Yes. Since always,’ she chuckled.

  ‘Me too,’ I smiled.

  ‘So, I just wonder if maybe the reason you haven’t found her yet it because you haven’t met the right woman yet. Maybe it’s not you being fussy…perhaps they literally haven’t been right for you…’

  I met her eyes, thinking. ‘I like talking to you, Allie. You make a lot of sense.’

  She smiled warmly.

  ‘Other people are telling me I’m missing the boat, I need to be less fussy and here you are telling me it’s okay because I just haven’t met her yet.’

  She met my eyes with her ocean-blue, gorgeous gaze. ‘Well, I’m in a similar situation too, Cass, so I’m giving myself the same advice too!’

  ‘How have you never met the right woman, Cass? You’re gorgeous!’ I exclaimed.

  She chuckled and I saw her cheeks warm as she looked away. ‘Thanks, Allie…you’re truly good for my ego. I actually thought I did…’ she revealed.

  ‘What? Met the right one?’

  ‘Yes…I was in a relationship for six years. We had plans…so many plans together. We were going to travel, buy a home, live by the sea and get married. We wanted kids eventually too…’

  ‘What happened?’

  ‘She left me,’ Allie told me bluntly.

  ‘No way! Why?’

  ‘Because she met someone else…someone who could give her more than I could. Someone who made me happier.’

  ‘How awful!’

  ‘It was. When you make plans like that, you hope they’ll work out.’

  ‘Of course you do. You’ll meet someone else in time though, Allie. From meeting you and talking to you today, I can see how lucky someone would be to be with you.’

  ‘Thanks Cass…and ditto,’ she said, smiling up at me from under her lashes.

  I smiled back, while attraction simmered in the air between us. I held her gaze though, unwavering. I didn’t want to miss a moment of these wonderful new feelings.

  Chapter 4

  Discovering Hope

  The moment passed and we looked away to sift through the shells and stones. I placed some into the wooden box and continued to search.

  ‘How do you spend your working day then, Allie?’ I asked, as I studied a shell I found.

  ‘It varies really,’ she told me. ‘Most days I have to be in the gallery. Mum comes once a week so I can go out the back and work. The rest of the time, I end up serving customers and when it’s quiet I work at my bench.’

  ‘Your bench?’

  ‘I have a workstation in the gallery itself so I can still get some stuff done while I’m there.’

  ‘I see…that’s a good idea,’ I commented.

  ‘I’m full of them,’ she grinned.

  I chuckled. ‘I’ll bet!’

  ‘How do you get ideas for your different pieces? They’re so varied?’

  ‘I don’t know really…they’re just there. When you live in a place like this, inspiration comes easily.’

  I nodded, thinking. ‘I suppose you’re right. Just taking a walk along a beach would give me loads of inspiration I think.’

  ‘For what?’ she asked.

  ‘Stories,’ I replied.

  ‘Ah yes! I see…I often walk along the beach and think about my next project. The simplest of things gives me ideas.’

  ‘Like what?’

  ‘Like…that row of cottages,’ she said, pointing to the quaint cottages I had wa
lked past earlier.’

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘Well, I’ve just started little sculptures featuring rows of little cottages. I got the idea when walking past them the other week-these holiday makers were standing in front of them talking about how picturesque they were and the thought occurred to me…why not make them? Some people like looking at cute houses as much as looking at the sea!’

  ‘True…for me it would be the sea, though,’ I told her.

  ‘Me too,’ she said, smiling over at me.

  ‘Do you work hard, Allie?’

  ‘The thing is, I guess I do…but I don’t feel like I do.’

  ‘How come?’

  ‘Because I enjoy it, Cass. When you enjoy your work, the time passes in a flash and you’re not thinking about the time.’

  I chuckled. ‘I spend my day’s clock watching mostly.’

  ‘Oh no! Do you?’

  I nodded, glumly and looked out to the sea beyond. ‘I think it would be different if this was my view from the window…If I worked where you did, I’d spend my time gazing out the window! I don’t think I’d get anything done.’

  ‘I do that a lot,’ she told me. ‘But then, gazing out the window provides me inspiration for pieces so it’s all worthwhile!’ she chuckled.

  ‘I guess so,’ I commented. ‘Do you work to set hours?’ I wondered.

  ‘Well, I open the gallery from Tuesday to Sunday each week and usually from ten till around four in the winter-longer in summer when there are more people around the area.’

  ‘Yes of course…I suppose it’s worth staying open if there are customers around.’

  ‘That’s it…although I do have set hours for opening, sometimes I extend them if there is custom and the same goes the other day-I shut in winter sometimes if the beach is empty.’

  I nodded, looking around the beach. ‘I think I would love it here in winter,’ I commented.

  ‘Oh yes? Why is that? Most people would prefer it here in summer.’

  ‘I’m not most people,’ I told her, ‘I don’t like busy, packed places…I can just imagine it here in winter-sleepy and quiet, with just the locals left living here. The seas would be even more beautiful-all turbulent and stormy and I can just picture taking quiet walks along the beach which would be empty aside from the occasional dog walker.’

  She gazed at me with a strange expression settling across her features. ‘I think maybe you should live here instead of me…’ she murmured.

  ‘I’d love to!’ I told her, ‘but I’m guessing I would never, ever afford it!’ I chuckled.

  She gave me a rueful look. ‘Yeah! Isn’t that the truth!’

  ‘So, property is very expensive?’ I asked, looking up beyond the beach to where houses added interest to the scenery.

  ‘Very,’ she told me. ‘You can’t even get a flat or maisonette for a decent price; not that I would even want to…’

  ‘What do you want?’ I questioned, keen to hear what her perfect home would be like.

  She sighed, and looked out to sea. ‘My house would be simple but perfect,’ she began, ‘it would be traditional and have a nice, pretty garden out the front. It would have an old-fashioned kitchen with an island in the middle to eat at, there would be a cosy lounge and dining room downstairs too…perhaps a conservatory leading to a small garden. Upstairs would be at least three bedrooms-one for me-and perhaps a partner…also two more bedrooms just in case.’

  ‘Just in case of what?’ I asked dreamily.

  ‘In case I was lucky enough to have children one day,’ she told me.

  ‘Ah! I see…’

  ‘It’s a dream…but I’m not giving up on it,’ she told me.

  I nodded, understanding completely. I felt the same urges, and had been for the last few years. I too didn’t want to give up on the possibility of having children. ‘I understand that, Allie.’

  She looked at me with a sad expression.

  ‘The house sounds wonderful, though!’

  ‘I know…I can picture it in my imagination and it’s just out of reach…’

  ‘Why is it out of reach?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ she murmured.

  ‘I read a book once,’ I told her, ‘and it explained that our thoughts are incredibly powerful. If you’re imagining it as ‘out of reach’ then it will be. Imagine it happening and then it will.’

  She smiled at me. ‘That’s a nice though,’ she commented.

  ‘Exactly,’ I told her softly.

  She chuckled.

  ‘Have you been keeping an eye on the houses coming up for sale around here then?’

  ‘Yes, absolutely. For years now.’

  ‘And nothing?’ I asked.

  ‘No…not yet.’

  ‘Well I’m sure that something will come up with some positive thinking.’

  ‘I hope so, Cass.’

  I smiled.

  ‘What about you?’

  ‘What about me?’ I wondered.

  ‘Where have you been looking?’

  ‘Around where I live,’ I told her, ‘everything I’ve viewed has been so uninspiring though,’ I explained. ‘For the money I have, I could pretty much only buy a flat and they’re all horrible! I want a nice house, and in a nice area. I don’t want to settle for something unattractive just because I can’t afford it!’

  ‘No, absolutely!’ she agreed. ‘Would you ever consider moving locations?’

  I thought for a moment. ‘I hadn’t been thinking about it, but yes…I think I would…’

  ‘If the house was right?’

  I nodded, ‘That’s it…I mean, it would be worth a commute to work if I had a lovely home.’

  ‘Maybe you should be looking a bit further afield then?’

  ‘Maybe you’re right,’ I nodded, playing the sand.

  ‘Do you ever wish you weren’t doing it alone?’ she asked then, surprising me.

  I met her eyes and nodded, ‘Yeah…all the time.’

  ‘Are you trying to change it?’ she asked.

  ‘Sure. But it’s not that easy, it seems. Everyone seems to have paired off around me and I’m left the odd one out.’

  ‘I thought you said they’re all setting you up on blind dates?’

  ‘They are,’ I said with a groan. ‘But the trouble is, the women they’re setting me up with are completely inappropriate!’

  She laughed. ‘In what way?’

  ‘Well, it’s like last night at dinner…they brought someone along for me. It was so awkward!’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Because I wasn’t interested in the slightest!’ I told her.

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Because she wasn’t right for me! She wasn’t the type I would have chosen and my friends don’t seem to get that!’

  ‘What’s your type then, Cass?’

  ‘I don’t know…’

  ‘I think it would help,’ she laughed, ‘given your current situation.’

  ‘I know, right? I just…well, someone nice…pretty…kind…and good company. That would do it…’

  ‘That doesn’t sound too fussy. I was imagining a longer list of requirements!’

  ‘No, I’m not like that-even though friends have said so. I don’t want particular things in a partner, just someone I like and who likes me.’

  She nodded. ‘Sounds about right.’

  ‘Yes, it does, doesn’t it? I just haven’t met her yet,’ I said, glancing at Allie who was looking out to sea again.

  ‘I’m sure it will happen,’ she murmured, turning back to me.

  ‘I hope so.’

  ‘You’re in the right place to have hope too…’

  ‘Hope,’ I murmured, loving my surroundings and smiling.

  ‘That’s right. It’s a good place to be.’

  ‘It sure is…’

  ‘So, shall I show you more?’

  ‘Yes please,’ I agreed, standing as she did and brushing the sand from my jeans.

  ‘Come on…there’s a lovely walk we
can do.’

  ‘Perfect,’ I murmured, falling into step beside her.

  We walked along the sand and over to the other side of the beach. The sea curved round the bay attractively and the water sparkled with clear green depths.

  ‘The sea is so gorgeous here! We could be in the Mediterranean or something!’ I exclaimed.

  ‘I know! On sunny days, I often think the same.’

  ‘Who needs to abroad when you have this on your doorstep!’

  ‘Exactly.’

  ‘I’d forgotten how much I liked being by the sea. I think I need to do this more often.’

  ‘I can recommend it very highly,’ she smiled, sauntering along merrily beside me.

  ‘So, do you have much chance for anything besides work?’ I asked her, curious to find out as much as I possibly could about her.

  ‘I…well, I see friends when I can…’

  ‘Oh yes? Have you got many close friends?’

  ‘Not lots…a few. A couple of close friends who I see regularly.’

  ‘Is Katie one of those?’ I asked, glancing at her.

  ‘No!’ she exclaimed, somewhat vehemently. ‘Not at all…well, uh…we’re not that close…just sort of…old friends,’ she said brokenly.

  I frowned to myself. She was being slightly weird all of a sudden.

  ‘Are you close?’ she asked me.

  ‘What to Katie?’ I replied.

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Not really no…she’s a friend of one of my close friends, Emma. I sort of know her through the others. I wouldn’t call us close friends, we just go to the same group events. I actually get on better with her partner Rachel if I’m honest.’

  ‘Oh really? How come?’

  ‘She’s just more…I don’t know, down to earth maybe. I can have a conversation with Rachel. I’ve always struggled with Katie.’

  ‘Why?’

  I shrugged. ‘I don’t really know…we just don’t gel as well…sometimes that’s that case, isn’t it? You get on better with some people than others?’

  ‘Yes, I guess you’re right,’ she mused. ‘Like you…’

  ‘Me? What about me?’ I asked.

  ‘Well, I feel like we get on pretty well,’ she said, ‘and you’re easy to talk to…very easy in fact.’

  ‘I was thinking that,’ I said smiling. ‘You’re probably the nicest person I’ve met in years,’ I said happily.

  She glanced down at me and looked slightly embarrassed.