(2014) Deep Inside

by Jack Parker

* * *

  Jack leaned against the headboard of his bed and fidgeted with his covers. His mobile sat before him, waiting. He frowned. He had to phone her and apologize, he knew that. But he didn't know what to say. What were you meant to say to your boss after you had just gone to her flat and made out with her?

  He was sure he was forgetting something else, too, something important.

  Jack pulled out one of his pillows and propped it against the wall. He gazed at it intently and concentrated.

  "Hello, Jessica."

  The pillow frowned.

  He couldn't call her Jessica. That would be way too informal.

  He cleared his throat. "Hello, Miss Coles."

  It sounded too monotonous and too much like a rehearsed speech.

  "Good Morning, Miss Coles."

  It wasn't morning. It was afternoon and it would probably be evening by the time he got around to speaking to her. Anyway, it made him sound way too…old.

  The pillow nodded in affirmation.

  "Could I please speak to you, Miss Coles?"

  The pillow smiled. "Yes, Harlton?"

  He cleared his throat.

  "Harlton, you seem nervous."

  "Miss Coles, I..."

  The pillow tilted its head to the side. "Nervousness is a sign of weakness, Harlton."

  "But, Miss Coles, I-"

  The pillow smirked. "Within your line of profession you cannot afford to let people see your weaknesses, Harlton."

  Jack shook his head frantically. "Please, Miss Coles, let me–"

  The pillow laughed sadistically. "You deserve to BURN."

  Jack's eyes widened, then he looked at the pillow. He picked it up and tossed it into the corner of the room, vowing to himself that he would never use that method again.

  He reached out for the mobile and picked it up. He began to dial the number, then decided against it. He would send her a text message instead. That way he didn't have to talk to her straight away. It would be best if he sorted it all out on that day. It was never good to put things off because the longer you put them off, the worse they would get.

  Seb had taught him that.

  And Seb was usually always right.

  Jack sent her a message and leaned back into the headboard of his bed. He was sure he was forgetting something. And then it clicked.

  Melan.

  She had asked him to meet her at Ganners that morning where she was going to confront Val. He peered at his watch. He was late. Jack quickly pulled on his trainers and hoodie, then rushed out of the flat. Damien was slouched on the sofa next to Rory.

  Upon noticing Jack, Rory turned around. "Dude, are you eighteen yet?"

  Jack's hand rested on the doorknob. He raised an eyebrow. "No."

  Rory nodded. "Too bad..." He turned his attention back toward the television.

  "Why?" asked Jack the curiosity evident within his tone of voice.

  Rory turned around again, his forehead creased into a frown. "They don't let you open all of the decent channels unless you're eighteen."

  Jack rolled his eyes. "Bye."

  Before they could answer, he left.

  * * *

  Jude was leaning against the side of the building, a cap placed over his dark hair and shadowing his features. His arms were folded and she could tell that he had been waiting for a long time.

  Lia pulled open the car door. "Thanks for the ride."

  "You're welcome. And good luck." Cal smirked. She could tell that he wanted to stay and watch her get screamed at by Jude for whatever reason he had called her.

  Stupid fucking sadist

  Lia sighed and slammed shut the door. "I'm going to need it."

  She heard the hum of an engine and then he was off. Lia shuffled her feet and made her way toward Jude, then leaned against the wall beside him. He was watching the sky, seemingly unaware of her presence.

  He decided to speak. "It looks like it's going to be pretty sunny today."

  Lia looked up. The sky was clear and blue. "What makes you say that?" She knew the answer, but it was always good to start off the conversation on a good note.

  "The sky is clear."

  "Oh." Lia dug her hands into her trouser pockets. They stood there for a few moments staring out at the sky. She creased her forehead. "Why did you call me here?"

  "Carmon," he replied.

  "What about him?"

  "You should visit her," his tone of voice was placid, but Lia could hear the strain behind his words.

  Her eyes widened. She knew who he was talking about. "Are you sure that –"

  His head shot around to face her. His gaze was intense, fiery even. He seemed angry. It scared her how he could change moods so abruptly, with no warning whatsoever. "I'm sick of all of your bullshit," he bit. "Why the hell are you always making excuses?"

  Lia felt the fire blaze inside of her chest. "Me making excuses?" She let out a cold laugh. "He's your brother. Why don't you take him?"

  "You know full well why I don't take him," his tone was placid again –calm.

  She shook her head. Her tone of voice adopted a softer edge. "He's not ready."

  "He's not a child."

  She bit her lip. "Why doesn't he just –"

  "Forget?" hissed Jude. "Like you do, right?"

  "I don't forget. I –" she sounded defensive. But Jude was wrong. She didn't forget, she just didn't dwell on anything. There was no point in dwelling on the past because all that it did was hurt you more to think about the things that you had lost, the things that you could no longer have.

  He interrupted her before she could finish her sentence. "You just blank it out and pretend you're over it. That's just as bad as forgetting. You run and you don't look back. I'm not going to let Carmon do that, Lia."

  She didn't know what to say. What was it with everyone and randomly taking digs at her in the past few days?

  He continued. "He can't keep running forever. The more he runs, the more he'll leave behind. And, eventually, when he reaches a dead end it'll all catch up with him. He has to embrace it and let it go. You can't just let it pass by you; you have to go through it and not around it. Until you do that, you won't fully accept it. There'll be nowhere left to run."

  Lia shuffled her feet. "It's too soon…"

  "It's not soon. It's been over two years. How long are you going to put it off for?"

  "Fine," she snapped. "I'll take him."

  "Today."

  Her eyes widened. "Today?"

  "Yes, today. The sooner you get it done and over with, the better."

  Lia groaned. "Fine."

  Jude turned his gaze back to the sky, evidently satisfied. Lia shuffled her feet and scanned the building. She dug her hands into her pockets and clenched her fists. She didn't want to go. She remembered how it had been the last time they had went. It was one of those facts that she preferred not to face. But it was for Carmon, so she had to; she would never be able to forgive herself if she didn't.

  Lia sauntered down the path and made her way toward the building. Carmon would probably be in bed right now. She sighed.

  Here goes nothing.

  * * *

  Jack raced down the path and turned the corner. It was way past the time Melan had told him to meet her and he couldn't help but feel guilty. Hopefully she would still be there so that he could apologize. It had been wrong of him to leave her alone in a situation like this, especially since he had agreed to be there.

  He reached the shop only to find it closed. He ran his eyes over the paths. There were quite a lot of people milling about and chatting animatedly as if something incredibly exciting had just occurred.

  What were they talking about?

  Jack spotted a couple of Cadlians making their way down the path. He went towards them.

  "Why's everyone so hyped up?"

  One of the girls grinned. "There was a massive bitch fight."

  "One was a Cadlian and the other one was Elonsican," added the other, the excitement evide
nt within her tone of voice.

  What was so exciting about that? And then it hit him.

  Shit.

  The girls were about to walk away. He stopped them quickly. "Where did the Cadlian go?"

  The first girl indicated the left path. "She stormed down there I think."

  The second sighed. "And it was just getting good, too."

  Jack paid no attention to her comment. Just because it was a fight between a Cadlian and an Elonsican it suddenly became all the more exciting. If it had just been two Elonsicans, or two Cadlians, everyone wouldn't be so hyped up about it. He hurriedly said thanks and raced down the path. He had to find her before she left, but where would she be?

  The left path was lined with trees; their shadows rippled over the worn pavement. The sky was clear and blue, causing the branches to appear a rich brown beneath its blinding light. There were a few benches lined along the sides. Jack continued to make his way down the path. And then he heard a sound.

  He gazed ahead and spotted her. She was huddled up on one of the benches, crying. She had her arms wrapped around her head so she couldn't see him. The sunlight shone on her hair and made it glow; it looked like gold.

  He walked towards her and slumped down beside her. He leaned forward and placed his hands in his lap. "Hey."

  She continued to cry. Jack swung his legs. What was he meant to do? He had never encountered a crying girl before. Was he meant to say something or just comfort her somehow? He cast his gaze over her form. The latter would probably work, seeing as he was lost for words, but how were you comfort someone who was crying?

  Jack scooted towards her. She didn't seem to notice. He scratched the back of his neck and once again cast his gaze over her form. He lifted his arm out of his lap. It lingered in the air for a moment and then he dropped it. That would seem too forward.

  She sniffed loudly.

  He cleared his throat. "Melan –"

  But he was cut off, suddenly, when she rammed into him and dug her head into his chest, still crying. He was shocked for a moment, before he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her toward him.

  This wasn't exactly how he had pictured their first moment of contact, but it would do.

  He kept his arm around her and rubbed her back with his free hand, soothingly. She continued to cry for another minute or so. Jack brought his hand beneath her chin and tilted it up so that their gazes met. She stopped crying.

  Her eyes were red from crying. She was a wreck.

  She looked cute when she was a wreck.

  He cocked his head to the side. "You shouldn't cry. It might ruin your complexion or something else girly like that."

  The corners of her lips tugged into a smile. She rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand and rested her head on his chest again. She closed her eyes and sighed. "Thanks, Jack."

  He looked down at her. A few teardrops clung to her eyelashes and her hair had fallen into her face and stuck to her cheeks. He brushed some of it away with his spare hand. She opened her eyes again at the contact. She blushed, suddenly, and pulled her head away from his chest. He let go of her and scratched the back of his neck.

  "Are you okay now?"

  She shuffled down the bench slightly and bowed her head. "Seriously, thanks, Jack."

  She hadn't answered his question. That meant no. He swung his legs and placed his hands on the bench, then leaned back. "Do you want to go somewhere?" he quickly rephrased his words. "To get your mind off of things, I mean."

  She ran a hand through her hair. "I look a wreck."

  He shrugged. "You don't…" he replied feebly.

  She raised an eyebrow. "You don't have to lie to me."

  "Well, if you don't want to, then. I guess –"

  She cut him off. "I didn't say no. I'd really appreciate that, Jack." She smiled lightly. Their eyes met. She averted her gaze and ran her eyes over the trees. "But where –"

  He got up and hurried toward her, then took her hand and pulled her up. He cocked his head to the side. "Come on, before it gets too late."

  She bit her lip. "Um, okay." He noticed that he still had her hand. He was just about to pull away when she entwined her fingers with his, then tilted her head to the side. "Where to?"

  He began to make his way down the path. "You'll just have to wait and see."

  She grinned. "What's with all of the mystery?"

  "It keeps you confused."

  "You like to keep me confused?"

  "I like to keep everyone confused."

  She brushed a stray strand of hair from before her eyes. "And why is that?"

  "It's fun."

  "How immature," she joked.

  "I prefer the word youthful," he replied, grinning.

  She laughed. He couldn't help but watch her as she did. The two dimples at the top of her cheeks creased. He tightened his grip on her hand. She didn't seem to notice.

  She stopped laughing, then beamed. "Lead us to our destination, then, oh confusing one."

  He saluted. "Lead you I shall, one who is confused."

  "To the spaceship?" she piped.

  He raised an eyebrow. What an odd thing to say. But he had met someone with a similar sense of humor before, though he couldn't remember who, so he knew how to respond. "The one made from cheese."

  "The cheddar?"

  He stopped walking and went down on his knees before her, then took her hand and kissed it. "Only the best for the lady."

  Her cheeks tinged a faint red. She curtsied. "I appreciate the concern, good sir. And you shall be rewarded greatly when we return to our home planet."

  He stood up and took her hand again. "Your company is reward enough, milady."

  She arched an eyebrow. "Why, sir, I do believe you are trying to woo me."

  "And are you being wooed?" He replied, raising his eyebrows.

  "That I shall consider upon reaching our destination." She curtsied again, then linked her arm with his and laughed. "Seriously, though, where are we going?"

  "You'll figure it out when we get there."

  She sighed. "Fine, then. Mean person."

  "Aren't I just?"

  She jabbed him with her elbow. He grinned, then they continued down the path.

  * * *

  The door was white.

  It was a pasty, dull white like an opening into nothing –an empty pit. Lia stepped back and shuffled her feet. She licked her lips. Carmon was staring at it, his gaze hollow. She looked toward him. He was backing away. She took a deep breath and grabbed his arm, then steered him toward the door.

  He looked down at her. She gave him a reassuring smile. "I'm here," she whispered.

  The nurse was growing impatient. "Are you going to go in, or not?" she bit dryly.

  Stupid insensitive bitch.

  "We are."

  The nurse tapped her pen against her clipboard. "You're not allowed in for too long."

  Lia smiled acidly. "We know."

  The nurse raised her perfectly plucked eyebrows. "Go on, then."

  Lia pulled open the door and stepped in, Carmon in tow. A tall, Elonsican woman sat on a chair before the window, her head resting in her long white hands. Her hair was rich and auburn, falling to her slender waist. She was clad in a white gown and white slippers. She turned to face them when they entered. She had the look of someone who had been beautiful once but through time had faded and lost the elegance she had once possessed.

  Her honey colored eyes gazed at them blankly. "Who are you?"

  Lia tightened her grip on Carmon's arm. Something flashed through his eyes, an emotion that she could not quite figure out. He opened his mouth to speak, then closed it.

  She frowned. "I said who are you?"

  Carmon shuffled his feet. "It's me, Mum, Carmon."

  The lady creased her forehead, then laughed. "I'm not a mum," she crowed. She stood up and twirled around. "I'm far too young." She giggled. "Anyway, Andrew and I only got married a few months ago. And he bought me the most gorgeous ring." She b
rought forward her right hand, then frowned. She shrugged. "I must have left it in my other dress."

  Carmon's face was tight, frozen.