(2014) Deep Inside

by Jack Parker

  His forehead was matted with sweat. He brushed some of his bangs off of his forehead, then attempted to control his breathing. He cast his gaze over the room; it rested on his clock.

  He was late, again.

  He got out of bed, quickly, then got dressed. He cast his gaze toward the window; the thick curtains shadowed it. He still hadn't opened it and looked at the view.

  He pushed open the door; its heavy creak resonated through the sitting room. Damien was sitting on the sofa. He turned his head, then eyed Jack with disdain. He turned his attention back to the television.

  He was angry at him.

  Like I actually care, Jack thought sarcastically.

  A news reader was on the screen. Jack made his way towards the door, then stopped upon hearing his name.

  "… Sexually assaulting Head of LAFFAT, Jessica Coles. Footage of him entering her flat two days ago and forcing himself on her has been identified along with a text message on her mobile phone requesting for her to 'meet' him later on. Jessica Coles has this to say."

  The screen whirred, then flipped to a recorded interview with Jessica Coles.

  "Are you planning to press charges, Miss Coles?"

  Her eyes looked red and swollen and in her hand was a tissue. She sniffed into it, then shook her head. "Oh, I didn't plan for anyone to find out," she sniffed into her tissue again. "He's still so young. And he's only new. I wasn't planning on telling anyone –I wanted to sort it out between us and make it clear to him that I'm his boss. But he was just so stubborn. I didn't want to ruin his career." She sniffed again, then let out a sob. "But I had to. After he sent me that text message, I wasn't sure of what he was capable of. But, no," she shook her head fiercely. "I'd never be able to forgive myself if I pressed charges. I'd ruin his life. Everyone makes mistakes." She stared straight into the screen. "And if you're listening out there, Harlton, I just want you to know that you still have your position and we wouldn't dream of firing you. We understand that you've probably had some issues in the past that have driven you to this, but we're all here to help you through them." She sniffed and turned. "No further comment."

  His face was burning. He was so embarrassed. He made his way towards the door. How was he going to face the rest of the Sector heads now? Before he could open the door, it was flung open. Lottie and Rory stood in the doorway.

  "Damien in?" asked Rory.

  Lottie sneered and pushed past Jack. She flipped back some of her messily dyed red hair. "Need any help with your issues, Jack?"

  His face continued to burn. They must have caught an earlier news flash. Rory shuffled his feet. He wasn't joining in but he wasn't helping either. Jack hated people like that –people who just watched something wrong happen and didn't say anything because they were afraid of getting involved.

  He had nothing to say, so he left.

  Damien and Lottie's laughter followed him down the corridor.

  * * *

  Jack swung his legs beneath the table and continued to twist the cocktail stick protruding from his glass. All of the Sector heads kept sending him quick glances when they thought he wasn't looking. Seb had smiled at him, but he could see the look in his eyes.

  You've let me down, Jack.

  The aching wouldn't cease in his chest.

  I was so proud of you, Jack.

  Was…was…was…was…was…

  Seb had done so much for him, had brought him so far, but he had let him down. He would never forget that look of disappointment, ever. And he had no idea on how he could redeem himself, how he could make it up to Seb.

  The man was tall. His hair was dark, but not too dark, and he was fair. He was an Elonsican.

  The boy backed into the corner, then held his knees to his chest. He couldn't see him properly; his eyes hurt too much.

  And he was so scared.

  "Go away." His voice sounded weak, frail. And his words came out as a croak.

  The man made his way towards him. He backed away again, until he felt his spine hit against the wall, sending a jolt through his chest. The man bent down and handed him a glass of water. He dug his head into his knees and rubbed his forehead against them.

  He didn't want water. He didn't want anything. He just wanted to wake up.

  Why couldn't he wake up?

  Maybe if he dug his head into his knees enough, the darkness would envelope him. Then he would fall asleep, and if he fell asleep again, he would be sure to wake up… somehow.

  "Go away!"

  "Drink it." The man's voice was soft, softer than everyone else's.

  "Go away! Go away! Go AWAY!" He screamed. He closed his eyes. He wouldn't let this man see his tears. Who cared if this was a dream? He was a boy, boys didn't cry.

  The man went for another approach. "Your name is Jack, isn't it?"

  Jack shook his head. "Jack Relanne. Jack Enrico Allesandro Relanne."

  He hated his full name, but this man had to know. He had to know so that he could find his parents. He had to see his parents. He had to see them so that those horrible images would just go away.

  Because it was all a dream.

  It wasn't real.

  The man laughed jovially. "Okay, then, Jack Enrico Allesandro Relanne. It's very nice to meet you."

  Jack looked up. The man outstretched his hand. "My name is Sebastian, Sebastian Carlyle. And I'm here to help you."

  The door opened.

  All attention was drawn towards it as Jessica Coles entered. Her stride was slow, even, as if she had all the time in the world. She made her way towards her seat, and the Head nearest to her hurriedly shuffled out of his seat and pulled out her chair for her.

  "Thank you, Roland."

  He nodded, hurriedly, like a dog nodding at its master.

  And for the first time ever, Jack knew exactly why.

  "This meeting will be brief," she stated. She cast her gaze over the occupants of the table, her expression calm. Her eyes met with those of Jack's. They glinted, then she tilted her head to the side and addressed the rest of the heads. "Kayden Porter is arriving in Elonsica in three weeks and we are planning to have a …ball to welcome him. I'm quite sure you will have all heard of him, of course." Nods of affirmation; she continued. "You are, of course, all expected to attend." The way she said the word "all" –it was as if she were daring them to argue. "And it will be more appropriate if you bring a partner with you." She let out a laugh; the rest of the Heads laughed along uncomfortably. She was mocking them, it was so obvious, and Jack was pretty sure that only those who were married had even the slightest chance of coming with anyone.

  They were all such losers.

  But then again, he was one of them.

  Who was he going to go with?

  He could tell that his feelings were shared by the majority of the group, though. Half of them looked as though they wanted to sink into their seats and never face broad daylight again.

  It made him wonder –had they ever actually had any sexual contact with a woman before?

  He watched as Fallock's chins wobbled from side to side as he attempted to drink with the straw.

  And the answer to that question would be no.

  "The details will be sent to all of you shortly." She stood up; they all followed suit. She smirked. "Good luck, guys."

  And with that she left.

  What the hell was he meant to do now?

  * * *

  Lia hated the town.

  Before she hadn't minded going shopping –hell, she had actually enjoyed it – but now after those bombs in the capital, she couldn't walk through the shops without feeling as if every set of eyes was searing into her back.

  And nine times out of ten, they were.

  Then there was Lacey. She seemed so oblivious to all of the glares being sent their way. Was it just because she didn't notice them – she was way too caught up in the shopping – or was it because she didn't want to notice them? Whatever it was, she sure knew how to keep her cool.

  She wi
shed that they would get out of there as soon as possible. She knew she was being paranoid and she knew that she was overreacting way too much, but she couldn't help but feel scared.

  Right now all they were doing was glaring, but if they decided to take it further…

  They were only two teenage girls. And Lia had no gun. She wasn't that good at hand to hand combat, but with all of her training, she could probably put up a decent fight… But what about Lacey?

  Stop being so paranoid.

  Her stomach was clenching and she felt so suffocated, so out of place, so isolated.

  How could you be surrounded by so many people yet feel so alone?

  She hated this feeling and she just wanted out. She wanted to run away, run away from it all. She wanted to get out of here. But, obviously, Lacey had no such intention.

  "Do you think that these trousers would make me look fat?"

  Lia shook her head. "I doubt anything could make you look fat."

  Lacey grinned. "I'll buy them, then. We've got quite a lot of new clothes –" She indicated the bags "–shall we be heading back now?"

  "Yes." Please.

  Lacey made her way to the counter, Lia in tow. The lady at the counter was eying them warily. Lia was sure that if she had been carrying some sort of bag, she would have called security right there and then to check her. Lacey didn't seem to notice the ladies glare; she merely shuffled through her purse and paid for the trousers.

  The lady shoved them into a bag and handed them to Lacey, as if they were infected with something.

  Lia was suddenly washed with a sense of déjà vu.

  As she entered its small interior she suddenly felt odd and out of place. It felt as though dozens of pairs of eyes were boring into her back, watching her every move, but when she turned to look, everyone was minding their own business, their eyes skimming across the shelves and picking out whatever they needed. Lia shrugged off the uneasy feeling and after grabbing the biscuits, she made her way to the till and paid, ignoring the wary looks of the lady at the till as she hurriedly slipped the biscuits into a plastic bag and quickly handed them to Lia, as if they were covered in poison.

  Back then she didn't understand why the lady was so eager for her to leave, why everyone was looking at her so much, but now she did.

  This wasn't Cadlia, it was Elonsica. This wasn't her country and no matter how long she lived here, it never would be. They said that they accepted her, that they accepted everyone, but there would always be that underlying sense of unease, that quickness to judge.

  There was no such thing as racial equality and there never would be. She had learnt the truth long ago and she wasn't going to delude herself into thinking otherwise.

  You have to face the truth and move on.

  You're such a hypocrite.

  Lacey smiled at the lady at the counter as she handed her the bag. "Thank you."

  The lady didn't respond. They both left the shop and began to make their way home. Lia scuffed the dusty tarmac with the sole of her trainer as they entered the outer circle of the town. The sun was shining in her face and burning at her cheeks. It was getting extremely hot.

  People were still watching them out of the corners of their eyes as they made their way down the road. She wanted to stop and scream at them, to shout out at them. She wanted to scream that she had a bomb in her pocket and she was just going to throw it at them and blow everyone up, just to see what they would do.

  She hated them so much.

  They looked at her as if they had never seen a Cadlian before in their life.

  "Hey, Cadlian! Lycani." Lia and Lacey both turned to find the owner of the voice. A group of kids –no more than twelve – were leaning against a fence.

  That was another thing that Lia had noticed, it was always the young ones who said something. They were younger, more blunt, they didn't say it behind your back like the older ones did –they said it straight to her face.

  She wasn't sure which method she preferred.

  They continued walking.

  "What's the difference between a Cadlian and a letter?" shouted one of them.

  They paused, as if trying to add some sort of dramatic effect.

  "You can send a letter back to where it came from!" screeched one of the others. They all broke into fits of laughter.

  So funny.

  She knew better than to respond. They just had to keep walking. She cast her gaze towards Lacey. She looked placid, calm, unfazed. Lia wanted to go into a corner and die right there.

  They continued walking, the laughter following them as they walked. It was still ringing in Lia's ears when they entered the flat. Lia threw the bags to the floor and slumped down on the sofa.

  "That was horrible."

  The kids hadn't said much, but the words had still stung. It was funny how something as harmless as a few words could impact on her so much.

  Lacey pulled something out of one of the bags. "Do you want to try these on?"

  She hadn't commented on what had happened yet. She hadn't mentioned anything at all about how everyone had been glaring at them. She couldn't have missed it; it had just been way too obvious. But she didn't want to talk about it. If it had been Carmon, he would have mentioned it and asked her about it and then when she didn't give a response, he would have let the matter go. If it had been Jude, he would have sworn a little, then he would have given her some sort of verbal bashing. If it had been Cal, he would have somehow made her confess exactly what she was thinking without her realizing that she had…

  Wait, why was she considering what Cal would have done?

  "Okay. I'll try them on."

  Lacey passed her the clothes and she made her way into her room. She hadn't worn the color pink in ages, let alone a baby pink skirt. She hadn't worn a skirt in ages, either. And for some reason she suddenly felt overwhelmingly self conscious. She got dressed, then exited the room.

  She tugged on the bottom of her shirt, and shuffled her feet. "Well?"

  Lacey grinned broadly. "I knew that pink was your color!"

  She hated it when Lacey got overly hyper over clothes. It was scary. "So it looks nice?"

  Lacey nodded repeatedly, then she blinked and stopped. She had just realized something, or she had had some sort of brilliant idea.

  "Liiiaaa…"

  * * *

  Jack juggled the phone between his hands, then threw it back down onto the bed.

  He had to ring her.

  But what would he say?

  His room was dark, shadowed, but he couldn't bother to open the curtains. Maybe some fresh air would clear his mind, he thought. He had nothing to do in his room, anyway, apart from wallow over the ball and wallow over the fact that it was going to be really hard to get a date.

  He didn't want to be a loser.

  He slumped down onto the bed and picked up the phone, then he dialled. The phone rang, once, twice; he swung his legs over the edge of the bed.

  She picked up. "Hello."

  "Hey, Melan, it's Jack."

  There was a pause. "Oh, hi."

  He didn't want to ask her over the phone. That would be way too…cheap. Anyway, she was pissed at him. It wouldn't be wise to ask her over the phone. He suddenly had an idea.

  "Will you meet me outside?"

  Another pause. "Why?"

  "Please."

  She sounded hesitant. "Okay. Now?"

  "Yeah."

  "Give me ten minutes. Bye."

  "Bye."

  She hung up. He switched off the phone, then pulled on his trainers. Seb wouldn't mind if he borrowed his car. He had said that he could use it when he needed to, but not too often. Jack pulled open the wardrobe and shuffled through his bags until he found the key. He made his way into the main room. Luckily, Damien had gone out so he didn't have to have some sort of confrontation with him.

  Jack sighed with relief, then made his way outside.

  By the time he got there, she was already stood outside and waiting. She
was wearing a skirt again and stilettos and her hair was down and straightened.

  She looked hot, as usual.

  "Hey."

  She turned at the sound of his voice, then regarded him placidly. "What did you call me here for?"

  He shuffled his feet. He wasn't that good at being abrupt. "I want to take you somewhere. Come on."