by Louise, Kara
She knew what she had to do, but waited a few minutes for him to get settled. Durnham came in and poured a cup of coffee and prepared a plate of food for him. "Excuse me, Mr. Durnham. Do you think Mr. Darcy would be willing to see me right now?"
He smiled and assured her now would be a most convenient time. She followed him back to the room and he stood aside to allow her to walk in before him. When Darcy looked up and saw Elizabeth, it gave him a start, having expected it to be Durnham. He looked a little sheepish, as he quickly looked down and placed something from his hand into his trouser pocket. He took the cup of coffee from Durnham, who then excused himself.
"Good morning, Miss Bennet. I hope you and your sister are well.
"We are. Thank you. And you?"
"I feel greatly improved this morning. Thank you. I understand you are to leave this morning. I hope you found your stay at Pemberley hospitable."
"It was Sir, very much so." She paused to gather her thoughts. He was being civil; that helped. She could not determine what he was thinking or feeling by the look on his face. When she had walked in and he saw her, he looked startled; a little ruffled. She knew her being there must cause him much uneasiness.
"I wanted to speak with you before I left to tell you how sorry I am for the misunderstanding and subsequent hurt that my silence caused your sister. Please forgive me."
"That is very gracious of you Miss Bennet. I do forgive you. She apparently has a very high regard for you that has not been altered by this."
"Thank you."
Darcy continued to look upon her, trying to discern her feelings toward him. Elizabeth struggled with trying to meet his gaze. She finally looked away, feeling herself at a loss for words.
An awkward silence hung in the air, until Elizabeth finally responded, "Well, goodbye, Sir. May God grant you a complete and speedy recovery."
"Thank you. May you and your sister have a safe trip home." How trite that sounded! How much more he wanted to say, but the disconcerted look on her face said it all to him. She wanted nothing more than to be out of his presence.
She nodded and found that all she could utter was a soft, "Thank you; goodbye, then." She curtseyed and exited the room.
Darcy’s heart had been pounding all the while she stood before him, his hand holding tightly onto the handkerchief that was still in his pocket. He almost pulled it out to give it back to her, but selfishly changed his mind. As she walked out, he let out the breath he had been unwittingly holding and dropped his head back. He pulled out the handkerchief and without thinking, put it to his face. He noticed that the scent of gardenia was fading; that he had to inhale more deeply now to catch any scent. He wondered whether his love and admiration for Elizabeth would eventually fade too, just as this scent had.
Georgiana finally came down and was visiting with Charles and Jane in the dining room when Elizabeth returned. The young girl excused herself for a moment to go to her brother, and Elizabeth walked toward the door to go outside as their things were being loaded on to the carriage. Charles accompanied Jane into the study as well so she could say goodbye to Darcy.
Georgiana returned directly and stood next to Elizabeth. "I shall miss you, Elizabeth. I have enjoyed my time here with you. Please forgive me if I made you at all uncomfortable by my assumption of your engagement with my brother. I know that it must have put you in a very awkward situation."
"Georgiana, please do not concern yourself. Much good came out of what you did. I greatly enjoyed my stay here and making your acquaintance."
"I look forward to our visit to Hertfordshire. I should very much like to meet your family and see where you live," the young girl softly said.
"I look forward to that too, Georgiana." She took her hand and squeezed it.
When Charles and Jane came back out, all goodbyes were said. Elizabeth could see the anguish in Charles’ eyes in Jane having to leave. He and Georgiana stood back as the two girls approached the carriage. Suddenly Georgiana ran forward to Elizabeth, giving her a big hug and burying her head against her shoulder. "Thank you for everything, Elizabeth!" Tears ran down her face.
Elizabeth wrapped her arms around her, and then pulled away, looking into her eyes. "Georgiana, you did much yourself. Now, do not let those tears spoil your pretty face. If I only had my handkerchief, I would wipe each of those tears away, but unfortunately I have misplaced it somewhere."
"I shall inquire whether anyone has found it," Georgiana offered.
Elizabeth smiled at the girl. As she turned to go, she caught sight of the window to the study. She saw a slight movement in the reflection that drew her attention, but for the glare of the sun could not ascertain what it was.
*~*~*
Being left alone in the study, Darcy pulled himself up and slowly walked over to window. How often he had gone to a window and looked out at nothing, as a means of escape from what was inside – both inside of him and inside his surroundings. Now he looked out at someone leaving who had so captivated his heart that he was unsure what to do about it. He had been angry with her yesterday; at the hurt she had caused his sister. He watched, though, as Georgiana ran over to her and hugged her and how Elizabeth had returned the hug in a very fervent way. It gripped the depths of his emotions as he realized she had not just captured his heart, but his sister’s as well.
He watched as Elizabeth’s eyes glanced up at the study window. His eyes remained fixed on her although he drew back from the window. He knew not whether she saw him; he should not be watching her like this. He continued to watch her, however, as she stepped into the carriage, followed by her sister, and soon they were whisked away. He felt transfixed and unable to move, watching the carriage until it was completely out of sight. He stood there for a few more minutes until he heard Bingley’s boisterous entrance into the room.
"Darcy, you are a hypocritical cad!"
Darcy looked at him with a resignation that, for some reason, his friend was none too happy with him.
"Now that you have regained some strength, maybe you have regained some of your sense enough to enlighten me as to what has been going on!"
"You are referring to…?"
"You and Miss Elizabeth Bennet! Now you need not fear, I did not say anything to either one about how unrelenting you were in trying to persuade me against Miss Bennet because, according to your own words, the Bennet family was completely unsuitable. Now, however, I would like to know exactly why you were so set against the two of us, all the while you had designs on her sister!"
Darcy looked at him with much contemplation. Yes, he was right to be confused; to be upset. Darcy had assiduously tried to keep him and Miss Bennet apart. Then he had turned right around and asked for her sister’s hand in marriage.
"Bingley, I did it for a number of reasons. Most of those reasons were for my benefit though; only one, I believe, was for your benefit."
"Explain. I am listening."
Darcy narrowed his eyes in thought. "When I told you that Miss Jane Bennet showed very little regard for you, I felt she saw you solely as a prospective husband for reasons of monetary advantage only. You know her mother and how set she was to marry her daughters off to any man of considerable means. No offence intended, Bingley, but I truly felt she had no love for you – that I could see – and I felt it would be a mistake for you to marry her if she did not have the same affections for you as you did for her. Obviously I was most wrong and I apologize for it."
"You actually admit you were wrong and apologize?"
Darcy nodded.
"Apology accepted. Now what about those other reasons – for your benefit?"
Darcy’s jaw tightened. "I was referring to her inferior connections and her family’s appalling manners. These reasons were given not so much for your benefit, but for mine. I had developed strong feelings of attachment for Miss Elizabeth, but could not, would not, allow myself to pursue her because of those very things. Every time I brought up those issues with you, I was trying to convince mysel
f of the validity – the necessity – of heeding that argument. I was determined to do whatever it took to keep you and Miss Bennet, apart for I knew that if you married her, it would throw me constantly in Miss Elizabeth’s presence and I would be powerless to keep my resolve."
"Your resolve?"
"I determined she would not be the most suitable wife for me, as I required someone from a more superior station in life with admirable family connections to be mistress of Pemberley. I resolved to have nothing more to do with her."
"Then you encountered her at Rosings."
"Yes, quite unexpectedly. It literally caught me off guard. I found myself waking each morning and plotting ways to see her. I could not shake the very thought of her from my mind, until finally, I determined to make my feelings known to her and I asked her to be my wife."
"Yes, and quite an interesting approach for a proposal, so I hear!"
Darcy sighed and brought his hand up to rub his forehead. "I was most detestable in my approach, yes. I had never proposed to anyone before. I arrogantly presumed that she would consent. I felt she needed to know how much of a struggle it had been for me to come to that decision. It was stupid, granted! I dwelled more on my conflict than on my love for her."
"So what do you plan to do now, man?" Bingley asked.
"What do you mean?"
"You have approximately two months before our wedding. That is when you will see her again. I suggest you fashion some plan between now and then to put yourself back in her favour."
Darcy looked at him, recalling Elizabeth’s exact words to him regarding Charles and Jane. "Bingley, I was never in her favour and I am quite certain she has no intention of being persuaded to love me by any sort of plan of mine."
"Darcy, I have never known you to give up so easily."
"I am only being realistic."
"In the matter of love, sometimes it helps not to be realistic!"
Darcy shook his head at the help his friend was trying to give him. "Thank you Bingley. I shall give it some thought. But that is all I promise."
"Good! Now, I shall leave in the morning to go to London, and then later in the week to Netherfield to talk with her father. I shall notify you what the wedding date shall be. That is, of course, if he gives his consent."
"If you get any resistance from Mr. Bennet, just go straight to Mrs. Bennet," Darcy said with a sarcastic tone.
"Darcy, that is cruel. You see, this is where your fault lies. You are so hasty to be critical of someone, just because they are not like you. You must learn to see more than just the outside of a person."
"And you have been able to get to the heart of Mrs. Bennet?"
"Well, let us just say that I am willing to try."
"And let us just say that I am willing to avoid her whenever possible."
Bingley laughed and shook his head at his friend. "Darcy, sometimes you can be so boorish! Pray, if you ever wish to win Miss Elizabeth’s heart, you might want to start by accepting her mother!" He laughed and shook his head. "Well, I need to be off now to get myself ready to leave tomorrow. I shall come back before I leave to say goodbye. You probably could use some more rest."
"Thank you Bingley. Until then."
*~*~*
As the Pemberley carriage turned down the long entrance that led away from the great house, Elizabeth gave one last, hasty glimpse back. Feelings of remorse threatened to consume her and she knew she could not give in to such feelings.
After transferring to a carriage in Lambton that would take them to Longbourn, Elizabeth settled in for a full day’s journey.
Elizabeth turned to Jane. She would need her sister’s help in keeping her mind engaged on things other than Pemberley and its occupants. "Jane, I have not yet heard about Mr. Bingley’s proposal. Would you be so kind as to share all the delightful details with me?" She gave Jane a mischievous smile and leaned in to her with wide eyes.
Jane smiled. "I would be more than happy to oblige you. That morning, the two of us were in the dining room having a little breakfast. I believe you were still asleep after being up most of the night. All of a sudden word started spreading that Mr. Darcy had awakened. We were both very excited and relieved, asking the servants what they knew. Suddenly Charles stood up and told me to come with him. I anticipated us going straight to Mr. Darcy’s room to see him ourselves, but instead he escorted me outside.
"He told me he wanted to walk down to the lake. We had been there before and he had told me that had always been his favourite place to walk to whenever he came to Pemberley. When we got there, we sat down on a bench and talked for a bit.
"Then suddenly he turned to me, grasping both my hands in his, and told me how much he loved me, how much he had missed me these past few months, and asked if I would consent to being his wife."
"Could you believe it, Jane?"
"I thought I was dreaming, but I felt too happy for it to be a dream."
Elizabeth looked at Jane and smiled, quite amazed. Bingley, it seemed to her, may have been prompted to ask for her sister’s hand upon hearing of Mr. Darcy’s recovery. She wondered if it may have been due to his being afraid of seeing him before securing her hand. Was he afraid of being talked out of it again? It angered her to think Mr. Darcy could have such a hold on him. But she was grateful he proposed despite his friend. No matter what influence Mr. Darcy had over him before, at least Bingley took a step in the right direction.
"Jane, I am so happy for you. Now we must prepare ourselves for Mother’s reaction. Do we dare tell her as soon as we get home, or do you suppose we should remain silent for a while and make her wait?"
"I think Mother will not even let us get out of the carriage before she asks if either of us has secured a proposal!"
"I think you may be right. Shall we each try and guess how long it takes her to broach the subject?" Both girls laughed at this.
The ride home took all day. When the carriage finally delivered them to their front door at Longbourn, all five members of their family greeted them, wanting to know what happened, how Mr. Darcy fared, and what Pemberley was like. But it was their mother’s questions that finally came to the point.
"Jane, was that fine, young man Mr. Bingley there? Did the two of you get reacquainted? Do I hear wedding bells ringing in the future?"
Jane blushed, and her mother then would not relent. "Oh, it is to be, is it not? I just knew it! Mr. Bingley proposed?"
Jane finally nodded an affirmative, and the volume of her mother’s voice resounded in all their ears. "This is the most wonderful news! Our Jane is to be married! I cannot wait to tell my sister, and the Lucases, and…"
"Mrs. Bennet," interjected her husband. "I do not believe you will need to tell anyone anything, as I am sure all of Hertfordshire has just now heard you announce it. Now, let us go inside before all the well wishers arrive."
Mr. Bennet walked over to his eldest daughter and told her how happy he was. She told him that Mr. Bingley would be coming in a few days to talk with him and get his consent and they would discuss arrangements then.
He then joined Elizabeth and looked in her eyes. "And tell me, Lizzy. How did things fare for you?"
"Well, Mr. Darcy did recover. For that we are all grateful."
"And once he recovered, how did he treat you?"
"He treated me as kindly as I deserved and expected to be treated."
No, she would not go into details about the misunderstanding; how he felt she had wronged his sister. She did not believe that he was angry with her anymore, but was quite certain he would never renew his offer of marriage to her!
Chapter 8
The next morning, an informally dressed Darcy walked by himself down to the dining room to partake in the morning repast with his sister and Bingley. He felt somewhat stronger, but was still under strict orders from Dr. Brisby not to overtax himself.
The three shared a hot breakfast together and then Bingley announced he would have to take leave of them. When Bingley stood up to le
ave, Darcy asked Georgiana if he could have a moment alone with him. She nodded politely and left the room.
"Bingley, I know that you will soon be often in Miss Bennet’s company. And I know that the two eldest Miss Bennets are very close. I would ask a simple request of you. Please do not attempt to plant any notions in Miss Bennet’s head about myself and her sister. I know she would only share it with Miss Elizabeth and I will not have her feeling ill at ease around me when I come for your wedding. I dare say she has had her share of awkwardness around me as it is. I would not want her to be troubled thinking I may come and renew my address to her."
"Can I not put in some good words for you, my friend? That should not hurt!"
Darcy shook his head.
"You shall have my word on it, then. And now, I must be off. How good it was to be here, Darcy. I am most grateful that you are on your way to a full recovery! And I must now thank your sister for her part in this past week." With that he winked at Darcy, who answered his friend’s gesture with a sigh.
Georgiana slowly walked out to the entryway with Bingley as Darcy followed. He watched them talking and laughing and could only imagine Bingley’s enthusiastic praise for how things turned out and how Georgiana should be credited for it all.
After final farewells, Bingley’s carriage drove off and Darcy took in a deep breath as he returned to the study. He knew he could sit in there alone; read, rest, attend to some business, or simply let his mind wander. This would do for now. In a few days he looked forward to getting out and walking the grounds and eventually getting his life back to normal. But then, what would be normal?
He knew what he would like normal to be. But no, he shook his head. That was not to be. Bingley had told him to come up with a plan to win Elizabeth’s heart. But he could not do that – he was not that clever. He was convinced that she would see right through him if he tried.