by Louise, Kara
After Bingley departed, the presence, or was it the absence, of Elizabeth hung over Darcy and Georgiana, neither wanting to admit to the other how much they had been affected by her being at Pemberley. Darcy was sullen, blaming it on lingering weakness. He became more determined to gain back his full strength and looked forward to Dr. Brisby coming again, giving him a clean bill of health.
He noticed that his sister kept to herself, carrying around with her some book in which she often wrote. He wanted to ask her what it was, but assumed it was something Miss Annesley asked her to do. Miss Annesley had been asked to come directly to Pemberley to continue Georgiana’s studies after Darcy’s recovery. He wished to remain at their country estate until he was completely recovered and his sister did not want to leave his side.
Georgiana spent much of each day, when not in studies with Miss Annesley, pondering what she should do about her brother. She was hesitant to mention Elizabeth’s name. She was not certain whether he still suffered the stinging blow of her refusal, the pain of seeing her again at Pemberley, just plain love, or a combination of the three. She thought, though, that he behaved quite oddly at times. Georgiana would often catch him looking at something when she came upon him in a room and he would abruptly slip it away into one of his pockets.
She knew he was preoccupied with something, but was not able to determine if his thoughts were agreeable or not. She could not imagine how he felt when Elizabeth turned him down. Georgiana could easily sympathize with him, as she had been deeply disappointed when, after getting to know Elizabeth and finding her much to her liking, learned she was not going to marry her brother.
In those few days she spent with her, Georgiana had determined that Elizabeth was truly the most kind-hearted and amiable woman she knew. She was very different from any other woman her brother had ever shown an interest in and a vivid contrast to the many women who had shown an interest in him. And there had been many! How she would have loved having her as a sister. The thought that this was not to be truly crushed her spirit.
Yes, she believed she knew somewhat how he felt. What she did not feel, however, was the anger and humiliation that he must also have felt when she refused him.
At length, Darcy gained the strength to venture outside. He kept his walks short, simply walking the perimeter of the house. He would return fatigued, but strengthened by them. He felt the pulsating warmth of the sun pierce him through and drew even more vigour from it. When he returned to the house, he would sit in one of the rooms that had sunlight pouring in and would pull a chair into the sun’s beam and rest.
A few days after the Bennet ladies and Bingley left, Darcy and his sister sat together in the dining room after a meal. Durnham came in and announced that he and Mrs. Reynolds were going into town to pick up a few things, and asked if he required anything. Darcy picked up a piece of paper and wrote down a few items. "See if you can get these for me."
Durnham looked at the list and then looked back at Darcy, quizzically. He pointed to one of the items on the list and Darcy commented, "You see what it is. See if you can get it!" With that, Durnham set off to go into town. Georgiana noticed her brother’s flustered look and slight blushing of his cheeks, but did not think it was her concern to inquire about it.
Two days later, Georgiana was drawn to the front of the house by some noise. She went to the window and found several under gardeners working feverishly to remove some shrubs by the front entrance that lined the marble staircase leading to the front door. She stepped outside and was somewhat surprised that they were removing perfectly good shrubbery and were replacing them with something else. She was so taken by this, that when she stepped back to turn the other direction, she found herself colliding with one of the young under gardeners.
"Oh, excuse me, I am so sorry!" exclaimed Georgiana.
"No, it was my fault Miss Darcy," expressed a flustered young man. "I should have been watching where I was going."
Georgiana smiled and then looked again. "Mr. Bostwick, is that you?" asked a startled Georgiana.
"None other," replied the young man. "It is a pleasure to see you."
"Thank you." Georgiana remembered playing with this young man as a boy when his father, who was the head gardener, brought him along with him. David Bostwick had to have been just thirteen the last time she saw him.
She was embarrassed now, not really knowing how to talk with a young man a few years her senior. "It must be quite a few years… since I have seen you."
"Indeed it has been quite a few years since we have talked. You are often in London and my studies have kept my away a great deal. However I have seen you on occasion from afar when I have come to help my father. I do try to help him out when I am in town and have the chance."
"I am sorry that I have not noticed you before."
"I perfectly understand. You probably would not have recognized me from a distance anyway." He struggled to know what else to say, wanting to keep her engaged in conversation, but feeling he was probably overstepping his bounds. He finally added, "I understand your brother is improving nicely. We are all grateful to hear that."
"Yes, thank you." She suddenly remembered her surprise when she had first come out and asked, "Mr. Bostwick, what is this that you are all doing?"
"We are removing all these hollyhock bushes and are replacing them with those gardenia bushes."
"But those hollyhocks look perfectly fine to me. Why would you do that?"
"We are all wondering the same. Mr. Darcy asked us to do it.
"He did? He has always left the landscape and gardening decisions to your father. Why the interest now?"
"We really do not know. But he is the master, so we do what he says. The hollyhocks are perfectly good so we are going to transplant them elsewhere."
Georgiana smiled at him, and thanked him for the information. He watched her leave with a pinch of admiration in his eyes for the pretty young woman into whom she had grown.
When Georgiana entered the house, she whispered, "That is all so strange."
Durnham walked past and heard her utterance. "What is so strange, Miss Darcy?"
"Mr. Durnham, my brother has ordered gardenias to replace the hollyhocks at the entrance to the house."
"Gardenias you say?" He looked surprised.
She nodded.
"Hmmm. That is very interesting."
"What is?"
"That it is gardenias. He asked me the other day to pick up some gardenia scented toilet water while I was in town. I assumed he was buying it as a gift for someone. But you know, just today, I found the bottle stuck in the back of his armoire and it had been opened. Obviously, he is not planning to give that bottle to anyone. Now if you ask me, that is unusual!"
Georgiana shook her head in wonder at his sudden interest in gardenias.
As a revelation came to her, her eyes widened. She had often noticed that Elizabeth had a fresh, floral scent about her that she believed was gardenias! The very possibility made her smile. Her brother was a romantic at heart and he most likely did not even know it! Her heart lifted and she knew now that she had to go to her brother and urge him to talk about Elizabeth.
Georgiana had hardly played the pianoforte for her enjoyment since her brother had the accident. Miss Annesley would oblige her to play a certain amount of time each day for practice, but she had not played solely for her own satisfaction since that time when Elizabeth came upon her. Today however, she felt inspired to play the pianoforte. On her way to the music room, she passed her brother in the study. She knocked on the door and peeked in to say hello. She did not tell him what she was doing, but when she left, she purposely did not close the door all the way. She went to the music room, sat down, and began playing, a song that flowed from the joy in her heart.
Somehow she knew when he appeared in the doorway. She knew not if it was a sound she heard, a reflection of movement somewhere, or possibly a scent, but she knew he was there, listening. When she finished, she asked without turning around, "Did yo
u enjoy it?"
"I did. You know I always enjoy your playing. It was good to hear you play so passionately; it has been a while." He noticed the smile on her face that caused her whole countenance to light up and it encouraged his heart. He had not seen her thus all week.
Georgiana played a few more songs for him, as he sat in one of the chairs listening with his eyes closed. She noticed that he absentmindedly went to his pocket and drew something out. There it was!
Abruptly she stopped and he opened his eyes to find her staring at him. "What is that in your hand, Fitzwilliam?"
She was quite surprised to see a look of embarrassment cross his features. "Nothing. Just a handkerchief," he replied as he stuffed it back into his pocket.
A handkerchief! A smile came to Georgiana’s face. It did not escape Darcy’s notice. "What are you smiling about, young lady?"
"Oh, it is nothing." Just like your handkerchief is nothing!
"Now, Georgiana, you will answer my question. What is that book you have been constantly carrying around with you?"
"Oh, this?" Georgiana picked up a plain, bound book. "This is my journal."
"A journal?" asked Darcy. "What are you doing with a journal? Is this something in which Miss Annesley is having you write?"
"No, Fitzwilliam. Miss Elizabeth suggested I begin writing in one."
She noticed that she had his full attention and went on. "She gave me the idea of writing down my thoughts and feelings; anything I come to learn about people or things. She said writing things down is good therapy and helps you remember things more. In so doing, I can draw from them later when I am in a position to converse with someone."
"Miss Elizabeth told you that, did she?" He tried to appear calm and indifferent, but knew the beating of his heart was making every attempt to betray him. "And what else did Miss Elizabeth say?" he asked.
She looked at him and wondered whether to broach this next subject with him. Finally, she said, "She also told me why she turned down your proposal."
Darcy squirmed in his chair. "She did? And what did she say?"
"She said that there was some sort of misunderstanding between the two of you, which she added, had since been cleared up. But she went on to say that your actions in trying to separate her sister and Mr. Bingley played a large part in her decision. Did you really do that?"
"Yes, and I have already admitted to Bingley that I was wrong. I also informed Miss Elizabeth that my actions were based on what I perceived to be at the time, very little regard for Bingley on Miss Bennet’s part…" He added in an undertone, "…however wrong it was."
"I cannot believe you would do such a thing!"
"What else did she say her reasons were?"
"That was all. Just the misunderstanding and your interference with her sister."
He looked at her, surprised. "She was being very kind, then."
"Why do you say that?"
"Because her main reason for refusing me was due to my arrogance!"
Georgiana looked at him in shock. "Your arrogance? I cannot believe it."
"Unfortunately, my arrogance was displayed not only for her, but for everyone in Hertfordshire while I was there. I found myself to be very uncomfortable with the neighbourhood, their ways, their manners. I found it easier to stand off to the side in silence than to befriend these people."
Georgiana listened to his confession with wide-eyed astonishment. "This sounds so unlike you, William."
He continued as if he had not heard Georgiana’s words; as if he had to finish his thought. "Then, my arrogance was made very evident to her in the address of my proposal. I am ashamed at what I said. I made certain she was acutely aware of how much of a struggle it was for me to come to terms with her inferior connections and station in life."
Georgiana sat aghast, her mouth opened in disbelief. "I scarce can believe it! You actually said that in a proposal of marriage?"
"Yes." Darcy looked at his sister and shook his head. "She has every reason to think ill of me."
"William, when you said you stood off in silence, did you feel reserved in her company of friends?"
"I suppose you might call it reserve, why?"
"Miss Bennet told me that a person may be reserved because of one of two reasons. She said there may be other reasons, but these are the most common. She opened to the front page of her book and read, "Either there is a fear of saying something wrong; a fear of being misunderstood or judged ill by something you say or do. To prevent that, you hold yourself back. The second reason is wishing not to impart yourself to others due to one’s own feelings of superiority, and having no inclination to converse with someone you feel beneath you. She rightly determined that I am reserved due to the first one."
With that she closed her book. "William, I believe your reserve comes from the latter. I think you must have actually thought yourself superior to those people in Hertfordshire. Did you?"
"I do not know how I felt! I was just uncomfortable. I do not have the ability to talk easily with strangers."
"You cannot or you will not?"
He looked at his younger sister and realized she perceived far too much of his true character. He began to feel uncomfortable with his sister’s insight and did not want to admit to himself that he was, indeed, proud and arrogant.
"The truth hurts, does it not?" Georgiana asked gently.
"You are telling me that all my life I have striven to be generous, giving, and considerate of others, but basically, I am a proud, arrogant fool!"
"No, William, not all the time, just in certain situations."
"And is that what you think?"
"I have not seen it for myself, as I usually see you only in situations in which you are comfortable. But upon hearing this, it does sound like it. William, do you want to do something about it?" she asked him. "Is there a reason that will make you want to change?"
"I think you know the answer to that, but I do not think it will help." Darcy said with a look of anguish in his eyes.
"Well there is no harm in trying. I have an idea that we will begin to work on tomorrow. Now, what was that you had in your hand?"
He looked at her as if he did not understand her question.
"That nothing that you were holding… Is it perchance Miss Elizabeth’s handkerchief?"
Darcy’s face gave away the truth. He had the look of a guilty man found out, as he drew out the handkerchief and showed it to Georgiana. There in the bottom corner were the initials EB. She took it from him and held it to her face. When she inhaled, she could smell the very strong scent of gardenia!
Chapter 9
The first few days after Jane and Elizabeth returned to Longbourn, the Bennet household remained in a state of turmoil, being led in the forefront by their mother. She had begun, even before Mr. Bingley had arrived to secure consent, to make plans for her eldest daughter’s wedding.
From the time they had stepped inside after returning home, everyone at once prodded Jane for all the details. She was very gracious in answering them all, but Elizabeth could readily see she was becoming quite wearied from all the questions. Mrs. Bennet, it seemed, had no intention of letting the subject drop. As happy as Jane was to talk about Mr. Bingley, the proposal, and the upcoming wedding, there were other things she wanted to hear about from the family.
Mr. Bennet stood off to the side; appalled at the unrelenting commotion his wife created, but savouring the joy his daughter’s engagement wrought. He had been uneasy while his daughters had been at Pemberley, but now he could rest easy. It had turned out well, although he would never admit that to his wife.
As mayhem coursed throughout the house and continued the next day, Mr. Bennet took longer periods of refuge in his library. There was no calming his wife and he wondered how he would survive these next few months.
News spread throughout Hertfordshire of Mr. Bingley’s and Jane’s engagement and then of his impending return to Netherfield. The house, which had been closed since November, was o
pened, aired out, and supplies brought in to make it favourable for its occupants.
But news also began spreading throughout the area of a different sort, which pained the youngest ladies at Longbourn. This particular news was that the whole militia, which had been stationed at Meryton, was preparing to depart. They would all be leaving for Brighton by the week’s end.
Kitty and Lydia seemed the hardest hit by this news. Suddenly the merriment and joy in planning a wedding became a drudgery and chore. They could think of nothing but losing all those fine, well-dressed officers. The balls would not be as festive; Jane’s wedding would even lose some of its appeal without the officers in their red coats.
It was the day following that news that Bingley arrived at Netherfield and promptly rode over to Longbourn. The Bennet family had been having a discussion around their dining room table about the dreary prospect of the militia leaving. Lydia was positively unyielding in her whining to be allowed to go to Brighton. Could they go as a family; could she go on her own? There must be some way! Kitty also voiced her opinion, making certain it was known that she wished to go as well.
Mr. Bennet was in the middle of a lengthy argument against such a thing when it was announced that Mr. Bingley had arrived. Gasps came from all over, a breathy one from Jane accompanied by a blush, an exuberant one from Mrs. Bennet, and a cheerful, encouraging one from Elizabeth. Elizabeth took Jane’s hand and squeezed it tightly as Mrs. Bennet began ordering everyone around, not doing a bit of good.
Mr. Bennet stood up and announced that he would go to him and that everyone else ought to remain where they were and stay calm! As he walked out, his heart beat a little more rapidly as he realized one of his greatest desires for any of his daughters was about to come to pass. He was soon to give consent to a marriage that was perfectly acceptable to both himself and his daughter. She would enter into a very beneficial marriage, but one that was based on love.
The Bennet ladies remained in the dining room. Jane’s heart pounded wildly. In reality, she had no reason for any concern, as Mr. Bennet had made it perfectly clear that he approved heartily of Bingley and would never refuse him. It was merely the waiting that was so difficult.