by Louise, Kara
"Then if it is not pride, what is it?"
"I believe our parents taught you the proper perspective of being a Darcy; what it means in terms of your responsibility to the name and the wealth it carries. But I also believe you were never given the chance, however Mother did try, to develop an understanding of people different than us, whether it was because of some perceived inferiority or something else. I think it may be largely due to a lack of knowledge about these people."
Darcy was taken aback at this, as he considered himself very well educated. Even since his college education he did extensive reading, but he must admit he never read a book on how to relate to people different than yourself.
She continued hesitantly, "I believe pride comes into play when you instantly put people into a class depending on how they look, how they are dressed, where they live. You tend to look too much at the externals, judging a person by what is on the outside, not by what is on the inside."
Darcy was not sure how much more he could hear from Georgiana. But he was convinced every word of it was true. "Go on."
"These people are just like us when it comes down to it. They have the same hopes and dreams as we do, the same fears, they fall in love, they experience heartbreak, illness, death. William, if you took away all that we had, Pemberley, our London home, our clothes, you would find we are the same as them. Granted they have not had the same privileges and upbringing in terms of education, manners, and behaviour, but we are basically all the same."
"And how did you come to learn such graciousness among these people?"
"Miss Annesley. We have made a point to go on visits almost every Sunday, whether we have been in London or Pemberley. She feels it is a very important part of any education."
"And obviously one that was neglected in mine."
"Not neglected completely, as you said mother took you on visits. Unfortunately, they ceased when she died." A smile lit Georgiana's face. "I think you have some room for improvement, my dear brother, but we have time. Next week we shall try again, and then in one month's time, if you have greatly improved, we shall move on to another challenge."
Darcy looked at her with some apprehension. "And what, pray tell, will that be?"
"Oh, no. I shall not tell you now. I do not want to have you worrying about it for a month." With that she contentedly turned away.
*~*~*
When they arrived home, Darcy went straight to his study. He closed the door and went to his desk, pulling out the chair and making himself comfortable. He was tired but there was something he knew he must do. He opened the large desk drawer and looked around for something.
"Ahh, here is one." He pulled out a financial ledger, one in which nothing had yet been written. He opened it to the first page, picked up a pen and dipped it in his inkwell. In large bold letters on the first page he wrote with his flawless penmanship, "The Journal of Fitzwilliam Richard Darcy."
He looked at it with a satisfied nod of his head. He then turned the page and smoothed it down with his hand. At the top of the page he wrote the date and returned the pen to the inkwell. He brought his hand to clasp his chin as he considered what next to write..
Picking up the pen again, he wrote the following:
Entry 1 ~ Matthew 8:1-3 Healing of the leper -Give of YOURSELF!
Entry 2 ~ The Franks - Robert, (head stable hand) wife, three children, one deaf daughter 4 years old. Check on recent developments in working with deaf children.
Entry 3. The Wilcox family - Jon, under gardener, lives at home with wife and his family in small 2 bedroom house. What can I do to help?
He closed the book and slid it over to the side of his desk, where, he knew, he would refer to it again.
Chapter 11
Darcy spent the next week catching up on his business affairs and preparing for a short journey to Cambridge. He had strict orders from Georgiana not to overtax himself and to make every effort to return by the end of the week. She wanted him rested for Sunday and another afternoon of visits following church. He assured her that he would only be gone three days and not to be anxious about him.
He was grateful that he felt increasingly strengthened. He went out for walks each day and felt that he was ready now for a short trip. He was anxious to get some things accomplished that had been neglected and he looked forward to get started.
When he was set to leave early in the morning, he sought out Georgiana to say goodbye. He pulled her close and squeezed her with a very fervent hug. She feigned a groan, as if he were squeezing her too tight. He pulled away and looked at her.
"You be a good girl, now, and I shall see you shortly." He kissed the top of her head.
"Goodbye William. Please take care of yourself. I should hate to have you recovering this weekend from fatigue when I have plans."
He smiled and grabbed her chin with his thumb and fingers. "You and your plans. I think you must stay awake all night plotting and scheming ways to rid me of all my faults."
Georgiana smiled at him, remembering how she had always considered him perfect; without fault. She still felt he had more goodness and integrity than anyone she knew. But she had taken on what she considered her mission to help him become aware of -- and improve -- those little faults that led to certain misconceptions held by others of him. Particularly held by one pretty lady.
When Darcy settled in the carriage, he turned to wave goodbye. Georgiana lifted her hand and waved back as she watched it pull away. She had spent more time with him these last few weeks than she had in a long time. These next few days the house would be quiet without him. She watched as the carriage went down the wide parkway and then turned down the road that led to the south grounds of the house. She sighed, suddenly feeling very alone. She knew that Miss Annesley would have her go through her studies throughout the mornings. At least that would keep her occupied.
When the morning gave way to afternoon, Georgiana finished her lessons, spent some time practicing on the pianoforte, and suddenly did not know what to do. She wished she had Elizabeth there to talk to. She missed having someone like her in whom to confide and decided to write her a letter. She went into her room and drew out some stationary and her pen and ink. Sitting down at her desk, she began composing her first letter to Elizabeth since she had left.
Dear Miss Bennet,
I wanted to write and express to you again my deepest gratitude for all you did for my brother and me whilst you were at Pemberley. I know that right now you are shaking your head and insisting that you did not do anything out of the ordinary, but I assure you that you did. For me, you were a tremendous support and strength. You cared, you talked, and you listened. I could not have asked for anyone better suited to meet my needs during that critical time. I know that your coming here was due to a misunderstanding, but I cannot help but think that it was providential.
I feel as though I have grown tremendously since that day we walked out on the grounds. I took your advice and began putting down my thoughts in a journal, and have found it most helpful. Miss Annesley is back with me now and she greatly approves of your idea. I am sorry you were not able to meet her. She is a very sweet lady and I know she would have thought highly of you.
Our plans are to stay on at Pemberley at least through summer, leaving only when we come for the wedding. We will probably come a few days early. I so look forward to renewing our acquaintance then. I never had the pleasure of hearing you play and sing while you were here, so please promise me that you will oblige me while we are there.
My brother has almost fully recovered. He is just now departed for Cambridge on business, and it is already quite lonely here without him. I cannot tell you, Elizabeth, how much I have enjoyed spending all these days with him. He has been so kind and attentive. I do not know what I would do without him. I know that business shall eventually take him away more frequently, and I shall not see him as often, so I try to enjoy every moment I have with him now.
I do hope Jane and Mr. Bingley are doing w
ell and that plans for their wedding are coming along nicely. How glad we both are that they are to be married! We both are of the same mind that they shall be very happy.
Again, as I said when you left, I look forward to seeing where you live and meeting your family.
Give my regards to Jane and Mr. Bingley. And Elizabeth, to you I pray God's blessings.
Yours, Georgiana
Georgiana reread the letter and nodded. She was pleased with it and placed it in an envelope, sealing it with wax. She only hoped that the few good words she put in for her brother would have some positive effect on Elizabeth's esteem of him. She hoped she had not overdone the praise. She brought the missive downstairs and placed it on the sideboard just inside the dining room, where Mrs. Reynolds would arrange to have it delivered on the morrow.
There were still a few more hours of daylight left, so Georgiana decided to take a short walk. When she stepped out, the first thing she noticed were the gardenia bushes. It made her smile, knowing the reason they were there. She walked down the steps and bent down to smell them. How fragrant these beautiful flowers were!
When she stood, she turned and found herself staring into the face of under gardener David Bostwick. "Oh, please excuse me Mr. Bostwick." She tried to step off to the side, but his words brought her to a halt.
"Excuse me. It seems as though we are always bumping into each other. I see you enjoy the fragrance of the gardenias."
"Yes, they do smell so sweet."
"My father tells me that years ago your mother loved gardenias, as well. She had some planted around the grounds. But after she died there was one winter that was so severe they did not survive. They were never replaced. My father wondered if that was the reason your brother asked to plant some of them here by the front door."
Georgiana listened in awe, as she appreciated any bit of information about her mother. "Mr. Bostwick, I did not know that about my mother… about her liking gardenias. I am not certain whether my brother was aware of that or not… at least he has never told me that about her. I sincerely appreciate you informing me of that. Do you remember much about my mother?"
"Oh, yes. I can remember her bringing out cookies and milk for my brother and me when we would come with my father as he worked. Do you remember my eldest brother Samuel?"
She nodded.
"He is to be married in a few weeks."
"Yes, I know. I believe my brother and I will be attending the wedding ceremony."
He looked back at her surprised. "Mr. Darcy will attend the wedding? I am sure he would not be able to spare the time. Certainly he must have more important things to do."
Her eyes sparkled with her smile. "Oh, he is planning to come; he will be there." She smiled as she thought to herself, It will be our practice for the wedding in Hertfordshire to see how he handles all the local country folk that will be in attendance! "Mr. Bostwick, what else do you remember of my mother?"
"She always smelled so good. Maybe it was gardenia scent also."
Georgiana smiled and wondered if this could be true, as well.
"I hope I am not keeping you from something, Miss Darcy. Were you on your way somewhere?"
"Oh, no. I thought I would come out and walk about the house for a bit."
"Do you mind if I join you? I could tell you a few other stories about your mother, if you wish."
Georgiana felt her heart skip as she looked at this young man who had once been an occasional playmate of hers. "I… uh…would enjoy that."
As the two of them walked, Georgiana listened as he told her how her mother would occasionally visit their home and that his mother had a very great admiration for her. As Georgiana heard this, she felt a wonderful connection with her mother, and wondered if her desire to reach out to those less fortunate was a gift from her.
Mr. Bostwick then began talking of the work that was being done in the different gardens and Georgiana enjoyed his running commentary on the landscaping that he had worked on. She was too nervous to return a discourse, and did not even know how to begin to carry on a conversation with him. When she was very young, he had simply been a playmate, but now that all changed. And she knew that change dictated how she was to respond to him and treat him, especially regarding the difference in their wealth and consequence.
When they came back around to the front, he bowed politely and expressed his appreciation of their time together. She had a very difficult time looking up to meet his deep blue eyes that looked down on her. Something inside her stirred, but she dared not wonder what it was. He was just an under gardener. Everything inside her told her she must remember that.
"Thank you for escorting me, Mr. Bostwick. I am most grateful for the light you have shed on my mother." She quickly curtseyed and rushed back up the steps, her heart faltering and her face feeling very flushed. When she came in the door, she closed it and leaned back against it, feeling quite light headed.
Mrs. Reynolds came by and asked her if she was well.
"Yes, Mrs. Reynolds, I am just… breathless." She prayed that her flushed face would not betray what she was feeling. "I was out walking."
Georgiana looked at the older woman who had been working with the family since before she had been born. "Mrs. Reynolds, I understand my mother used to wear a certain fragrance. Do you recall what it was?"
"Oh, yes, Miss Darcy. Her favourite scent was gardenia, just like Miss Elizabeth Bennet wore. In fact, when Miss Elizabeth walked in that first evening, I could not help but think of your mother. It is amazing how strong the memory of a scent can be. I think it must have stirred some sort of memory in your brother, too, as he has suddenly brought back the gardenia bushes that we lost so many years ago in the bad winter."
"Yes, so it seems," Georgiana said thoughtfully. "Thank you, Mrs. Reynolds."
She wondered whether her brother had been drawn to that scent the first time he met Elizabeth. She knew it would have to be more than just a scent to keep his interest, but the thought of it was quite engaging.
Georgiana thanked her and decided she would do some reading in the sitting room. She found a book that she had recently begun and made herself comfortable in a chair. Mrs. Reynolds came in after a bit and announced that her cousin, Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam, had arrived and was waiting for her in the entry. She hurriedly went out to greet him.
She had written two letters to the Fitzwilliam family; the first detailing the accident and the second informing them of his recovery. She had not heard from them, and assumed they had been away from home.
She rushed downstairs, anxious to see her cousin who was almost as close to her as her brother. He and Darcy had taken responsibility for her when her father died, becoming co-guardians of her. As much as she still felt quite ashamed that Richard knew of her relationship with Mr. Wickham and the threatening impropriety of it, he had always displayed a gracious, forgiving spirit toward her. She had never once felt condemned or looked down upon by him.
She found him in the entry and walked over to him, giving him a hug.
"Why Georgiana, how are you? It is good to see you!"
"I had begun to wonder what happened to you. We had not heard from you or your family since I wrote the letters."
"Our family was in the north on holiday. We just returned to find three letters awaiting us; two from you informing us of Darcy's accident and recovery, and one from Darcy asking if I could possibly journey here when he went out on business this week. Rather than write a reply, I came immediately. Unfortunately my family was unable to join me. Has he already left?"
"Yes, he left early this morning. He should return in three days."
"How unfortunate that I missed him today. Well, my cousin, you must tell me all about this accident of Darcy's. Quite a story, from what little I hear, and to think it happened immediately after we had been together."
"Let us go into the dining room and we shall have some tea and something to eat while I tell you." Over tea and cake, Georgiana gave a brief summary of th
e details that she had not written in his letter. She told of their concern for him, how day to day he showed little sign of improving, and then how finally one morning he awoke.
"I would never have doubted that he would awaken. He is too stubborn." With that her cousin laughed.
Fitzwilliam stood and walked over to the sideboard to refill his cup with some tea, when he noticed a letter lying there addressed to Miss Elizabeth Bennet. He picked it up and looked at it curiously.
"Georgiana, this is a letter to Miss Elizabeth Bennet." He looked at Georgiana, lifting one eyebrow toward her. "I did not know that you were acquainted with her."
"Yes." And then suddenly with realization, Georgiana added, "Oh, you must have met her while at Rosings when you were there with my brother. I had forgotten that you had been there with him. But I actually did not meet her until she came here when my brother was ill."
Fitzwilliam drew his head back in surprise. "She came here?"
Georgiana blushed as she recalled the circumstances surrounding her coming, but felt she needed to explain it to him. "I confess that I incorrectly assumed that Miss Elizabeth and my brother were engaged and wrote her, asking her to come when he was in such grave condition."
Fitzwilliam shook his head, drawing his hand to his chin pondering her words. Leaning toward Georgiana, he asked, "Engaged?"
"He wrote me a few days before he proposed, letting me know he was going to ask for her hand. Because of the accident he was never able to write back to me that she refused."
Fitzwilliam made a concerted effort to process this very surprising and unexpected information, but found himself unable to respond with words. After a few moments of silence, he let out a boisterous "Ha ha! So that explains his notably agitated behaviour when we left Rosings!"