Out for the Holidays

by Cara Dee

  Noah and Julian sat down across from us, and Akira and her girlfriend found seats next to me.

  Darkness had fallen, and the air held more humidity than normal, according to the weather reports. There was a thunderstorm rolling in sometime later, though Henry said it would probably miss Cancún.

  “Aren’t we a dressy bunch tonight.” Noah twisted the cap off his beer and looked around us. “No wonder you didn’t want me to wear my Beavis and Butthead tee, baby.”

  Julian snorted and shook his head.

  I grinned and nudged Henry’s foot with mine. “I’ve been told I don’t always have to wear my graphic tees, either.” So I’d dressed for my man, and most guys here wore similar clothes. Slacks and button-downs in fabrics for warm weather.

  “You look amazing,” Henry murmured in my ear.

  I stole a kiss.

  “You got some color today,” I told Julian. He looked slightly uncomfortable too. His nose had a little red shine to it.

  “My shoulders are so sore,” he confessed.

  Ouch.

  “You’re using it as an excuse not to dance with me later.” Noah sent him a narrow-eyed look.

  “Not a fan?” I guessed.

  Julian sighed, and I got the feeling it was an argument they’d had more than once. “I’m not good at it. He makes everything look so easy, and I just fumble and make a fool of myself.”

  “And I’ve told you I don’t care about that.” Noah leaned in and pressed a lingering kiss to his neck. “Can’t blame me for wanting to hold you close, can you?”

  I smiled at them, stoked to have them as friends. Learning their history had been a bit of a shock, but they complemented each other perfectly. Julian did struggle with some insecurities, though. Then again, didn’t we all?

  Conversation lulled while we filled our plates, and I zeroed in on Joseph when Henry quietly pointed out that he kept looking our way. He was seated farther down, closer to the end of the table, with Rob and a few others.

  “I’ll speak to him tomorrow,” Henry said.

  It wouldn’t surprise me if Joseph told us we were overreacting.

  “So where are you guys spending the holidays?” I asked.

  “All over, it feels like.” Noah filled up on some more chips and guacamole. “Dinner with Julian’s grandparents on the twenty-first in Pittsburgh, dinner with Brooklyn and Asher on the twenty-third in LA, then up to Sophie and Tennyson’s place in Mendocino for Christmas.”

  “What about you?” Julian asked, gaze flicking between Henry and me.

  “We’ll be home.” Henry smiled and refilled our wine. “The boys are flying up on the twentieth.”

  “You’ll have to come up and visit sometime,” I said.

  “Well, yeah,” Noah agreed. “Julian and I collect nieces and nephews, and we hear you guys are next. It’s my way of teaching children around the country about the glory that is the Penguins.”

  I laughed, the wine getting to me.

  Julian smiled and shook his head, then faced me. “Have you decided what route to take?”

  “Adoption,” I answered.

  Henry gave my leg an affectionate squeeze.

  “Two friends of ours adopted,” Noah said. “I’ll get you their information. I’m sure Danny will wanna help.”

  “We appreciate that.” Henry nodded.

  I smiled and took a swig of my wine, realizing we’d become a we.

  Around us, people were getting tipsier and merrier, and a few couples had taken advantage of the music to get their moves on. Thunder rumbled in the distance, and I shivered when a breeze rolled into the humidity.

  “Excuse me for a moment.” Henry wiped his mouth with a napkin before leaning close to me. “I’ve had it with Joseph’s stares. I’ll be right back.”

  Wait, so they were gonna talk alone? Without me?

  Henry was already gone, leaving me to wrestle irrational jealousy. It wasn’t fair to Henry, whom I trusted with all my heart. Joseph, however? I wouldn’t put it past him to try something. He’d certainly tried with me.

  Noah had his eyes on the dancing pairs. “What do you say, sweetheart…?”

  Julian pursed his lips and shook his head. “Have you forgotten our wedding? I literally bruised your toe.”

  “Weak shoes.” Noah winked.

  I drained my glass. Henry was taking Joseph aside, and I clenched my jaw when they disappeared from sight around the villa. Needing a distraction, I turned to Noah.

  “I’ll dance with you,” I said. “I’ll give it one song before Julian’s all over you.”

  Julian gaped at me. “You’re supposed to be my friend, Zach.”

  I puckered my lips at him.

  Noah smirked and stood up. “He’s being a friend, Julian. I also think he’s right. Let’s go, kid.”

  He rounded the long table and met up with me at my side, and I followed him out onto the floor as an upbeat song started playing. We didn’t have live music out here. Instead, we had a mix CD, and I recognized this one. A Santana collaboration with the dude from Matchbox Twenty.

  I placed my hand in Noah’s extended one, and he took me by surprise when he spun me around before hauling me close. “Holy shit,” I blurted out in a choked laugh. “Okay, I guess you know what you’re doing.”

  Noah grinned. “My sister taught me when I was little.”

  “Good to know.” Yeah, Julian didn’t stand a chance once he interrupted, and I knew he would. “Lead away, Prince Charming.”

  And fuck me if he didn’t. The rock song brought more people to the floor, and soon most of us were getting a workout. Noah made it fun with unexpected dips and twirls, and it’d been a while since I laughed so hard.

  “We should just form a circle around you,” Akira hollered over the music. “Goddamn, Noah.”

  Sweat beaded on my forehead, and I got into it. I had to hand it to Julian; he was more stubborn than I gave him credit for. A second song started, then a third and a fourth. Traditional salsa music mixed with rock and pop, and I followed as best I could.

  When I glanced at Julian, I could tell he’d reached his breaking point. He sat impatiently and stewed to himself. One final nudge would get him here, where he belonged.

  The song morphed into a new one, another Santana collab. I recognized the Nickelback singer. The beat revved up, heavy and hot, and went on about dancing into the night.

  “Ramp it up,” I said, breathing heavily. “You’ll get some possessive sex after this.”

  “Oh, I intend to.” If he replied to my first or second statement, I wasn’t sure. “So will you. Move with me when I pull you back.”

  “Okay.” I sucked in a breath and looked around, finally catching sight of Henry looking like he’d just returned with Joseph. And as I watched Joseph gesture toward me and say things in Henry’s ear, I recognized Joseph for the snake he was. This went beyond flirting and trying to get into our pants.

  “Ready?” Noah raised a brow, and I focused on the music. I let it drown me for the moment. I nodded. “Make it hot, kid.”

  I smirked, and he yanked me to his chest. His hands on my hips, one of my hands at the back of his neck, and we moved damn well. He led me almost as perfectly as Henry did, our hips moving and speaking of sexual tension that wasn’t there.

  “We’re good,” I chuckled breathlessly.

  “Fuck yeah, we are.” He grinned, his chest heaving. “Can you see my boy?”

  I could. He was moving in the corner of my eye. “On his way.”

  He nodded once and eased up. “Next time I wanna get him out on the floor, you’ll be my partner in crime.”

  “Count me in.” That was about all I had time to say before Julian tapped me on the shoulder.

  “May I cut in?” he asked with a tight smile.

  He was too fucking sweet. I released Noah, and wanting to ease the tension from the younger of the two, I gave Julian’s cheek a smacking kiss. “All yours, hon.”

  The look in his eyes softened sligh
tly, though it had nothing on when he was in Noah’s arms. I smiled as they forgot everyone around them, and then I made my way out of the little crowd and aimed for Henry.

  Seeing the brief flash of worry in his eyes fueled my anger toward Joseph. Who fucking knew what he’d been saying to Henry.

  Over the past year, I’d gotten a better grasp on Henry’s insecurities, and they were valid. We had a big age gap, and I worked in an industry that had broken up too many relationships. People didn’t care about commitment anymore, and rumors of cheating and bullshit circulated more than news of weddings.

  Henry had come a long fucking way, though. He believed me when I said I belonged to him, and damn if I was gonna let Joseph ruin that. Now, I couldn’t help but wonder what he’d been telling Henry when he and I split after my first trip to LA. Had he tried to come between us? Had he agreed with Henry, who’d been so sure I would wake up one day and want more? At this point, it wouldn’t surprise me.

  I remembered when Henry told me about Joseph and Oliver, how they’d been in a weird relationship back in the day. He’d trusted Joseph’s judgment when he shouldn’t have; he listened to his friend.

  “I see you’re having fun,” Joseph noted with a smile as I reached them. “I was just telling Henry how hot you and Noah were together.”

  “I have no fucking doubt you were telling him that.” I shook my head and slipped my hand into Henry’s. He was struggling with something, his jaw ticking with tension. I addressed Joseph again. “Did he tell you to step off and quit coming on to us?”

  Joseph sighed and rolled his eyes. “You’ve gotten it all wrong, Zach. There’s nothing bad about wanting to have fun.”

  “There is when those you wanna have fun with ain’t fucking interested!” Holy shit, my anger exploded. “How motherfucking hypocritical can you be? After the shit you went through with your dad, you meet Henry and start an organization where kids without support can come to get away from harassment and abuse. You have pamphlets outside every goddamn office telling girls that it’s okay to say no, but how many times do we have to tell you?”

  He was taken aback by my outburst, eyes growing large, though he recovered too fast for my liking. “You can’t possibly compare me to sexual predators. For God’s sake, you need to take it down a notch.”

  “He’s right, Joseph.” Henry spoke with a low, barely controlled voice, and I couldn’t make sense of his mood. Something was brewing, other than the storm nearby, and he seemed almost more pissed at himself. “Last time I came down to LA, Zach picked me up at the airport and said you’d invited him home for drinks after a shoot.”

  Joseph didn’t wanna hear it. He scoffed and said we were blowing shit out of proportion.

  I stared at him. Now that the issue was out in the open between all three of us, I wondered if there was something he wanted to say to me when Henry wasn’t around. He’d hinted at some things before, just minor catty comments. Henry and I were “so different,” he’d said. One time when we’d gone out after work, he’d made a remark about Henry’s and my sex life. Apparently, it was a relief that I liked to bottom because Henry didn’t do that. “I mean…I would know,” he’d added with a wink.

  I’d brushed it off. I wasn’t gonna let him get to me, nor was I gonna tell him about something that wasn’t any of his goddamn business.

  “We’re not interested in you,” I said slowly, ’cause I was clearly speaking to a child. “I get that you’re into Henry—”

  “Excuse me?” he chuckled incredulously.

  Henry sighed and released my hand to scrub his face.

  It was one of those things not even Henry believed, but I saw it.

  “Do you not see how young and naïve he is, Henry?” Joseph turned it around, and there it was. He couldn’t have been clearer. He wanted us to break up. When he faced me again, he was a condescending prick. “Sweetie, I understand you come from a place where it’s different. But where we’re from, wanting to get someone into bed doesn’t mean we’re in love and want to settle down and have a family.”

  I smiled and scratched my nose. “Henry, can I have a moment with Joseph?”

  Henry didn’t like that at all. “That’s not wise. I know the look on your face, and I have no desire to scrape Joseph off the ground later.”

  I lifted a brow at him. “You got your moment. Now I want mine. I’ll be on my best behavior.” I was pretty sure I could restrain myself. Sort of.

  I was a grown man. Henry couldn’t keep me from having words with Joseph, and he knew it.

  “I’ll get a drink,” he muttered and walked away.

  I faced Joseph and folded my arms over my chest. “You can be honest now. You want me gone, yeah?”

  “Why would I want that?” He feigned disinterest and leaned against the wall. “Your days are already numbered.”

  “Oh, really. Why’s that?”

  Joseph chuckled. “I’ve known Henry far longer than you have. He’ll grow bored with Washington and fret himself half to death wondering when you’re gonna cheat on him. And you know what? It’s because you don’t make sense. He belongs in LA, and he should be with someone who’s more compatible.”

  “Someone like you?” I cocked my head.

  He gave me a sharp glare, and I knew I’d struck a nerve.

  “I used to view you as a threat,” I admitted. “Now I’m just watching you wreck everything you have with Henry. He’s not interested, and every time you’ve flirted with me, you’ve disrespected your friend. You’ve upset him.”

  “He’ll come around,” he snapped, and his composure was gone. “He and I aren’t perfect, but we make more sense than you do. He wouldn’t have to worry with us. We’ve done this before. I’d make it good for—” He shut his mouth, anger boiling over but no more words tumbling out. His secret was out.

  To my own surprise, I was calm. I hadn’t imagined it. It wasn’t in my head. His twisted love for Henry was right there.

  I jabbed a finger into his chest. “The second you’re not professional at work, I’ll let Brooklyn know everything.” He would be taken off the project in a heartbeat, I had no doubt. “From now on, we’re done. That includes Henry, and I won’t say it again.”

  “Good luck with that,” he chuckled bitterly. “Henry and I have been friends for over ten years.”

  I didn’t say anything else. I left his bitch ass behind and went to find Henry. He wasn’t outside, so I tried inside the villa, where I eventually located him at the bar.

  I slid onto the barstool next to his, feeling numb. I didn’t like numbness. It left me clueless about how I would feel later on when I’d processed.

  “Is he alive?” Henry lifted his whiskey glass and took a sip.

  “I didn’t even raise my voice.” My mind went blank, and when the bartender came over, I said I didn’t want anything. “What did you tell him when you went behind the building?”

  “That we weren’t interested.” His voice grew quieter. “I don’t understand how this got so out of hand. I’m disappointed in him—and I’m angry.”

  I had a feeling I was too; I just couldn’t get a grasp on it. My knee bounced, and I glanced around us. The bar area was protected by a chest-high wall of plants and bronze statues, and I could only hear the dinner guests on the other side. People were having a great time. Music was playing.

  My evening was ruined. Fuck. The bouncing got worse as trickles of fury seeped in.

  Were Henry’s issues gonna make a comeback now? Were mine? As rough as this year had been work-wise, we’d been doing so well. We made sure to communicate every worry, and as time went on, they had lessened. We’d built our foundation and trusted each other.

  “When I left Malibu the first time, and you and I kinda broke up, did you talk to Joseph?”

  Henry side-eyed me, frowning. “In general, or…?”

  I shrugged, then nodded. “And about us. Did he say anything?”

  He frowned some more, thinking back. “No, not really. He unders
tood my fears… He may have mentioned he thought it was poor taste that you didn’t.”

  I chuckled once. “Of course he did.”

  Henry’s expression changed. He became careful and faced me better. “You’re upset. What did he tell you?”

  “That you and I don’t make sense.” Though, that wasn’t what made my anger rise. At the same time, exhaustion flooded me, and I feared I wasn’t just fighting against Joseph. What if Henry still had doubts? I could fight as long as it was him and me against the world. But if I had to start over and convince Henry… Christ.

  “Can…” He trailed off and looked over his shoulder. “Let’s talk outside, please.”

  Tired as fuck, I followed him out to the front of the villa. The poorly lit parking lot was on the side of the road, and Henry walked until we could have privacy.

  The thunder was getting closer. The smell of rain lingered in the air.

  “Talk to me, Zachary.”

  “Why did you look tense after I danced with Noah?” I blurted out.

  He drew in a breath and started to speak but closed his mouth again. Next, he pinched the bridge of his nose. “I was angry with myself.” His hand fell back to his side. “I stood there and listened to Joseph—well, you know what he said about you and Noah.” Yeah, that we’d been hot together. “And it hit me, I suppose, that Joseph was being a lousy friend. And has been—for months and months. Something’s changed, and I don’t understand why I’ve let it go on.”

  That was infinitely better than I’d feared.

  “More than that,” he went on, “it pissed me off that I listened to him. It may have only lasted a minute or two, but I listened to him. I grew unsure, jealous, and doubtful, and I feel terrible about it because you’ve never done anything to deserve my doubt.”

  Okay. Okay, this was much better. We were human, and we couldn’t help how we felt. This shit happened. “Has that minute or two passed?” I had to know. “Because I can face anything as long as you’re there with me. I can’t fight Joseph if part of you is on his side.”

  Henry stepped closer and cupped my cheek. “Darling, since the day I met you, you’ve been the only man whose side I’ve been on. You’re the love of my life, and I trust you. That’s why I was so angry, because I felt like I was betraying you by listening to him. I’m…” He closed his eyes briefly and released a breath. “I’m done with Joseph. He’s not the man I became friends with, and he’s crossed too many lines. Fuck—” He really was upset with himself. “I cannot believe I let his advances slide because of our history. He’s been disrespectful to both of us.”