Lavender Is a Harsh Mistress

by Earl Watson

  Lavender Is A Harsh Mistress your hat my boy! Oh I forgot you are not wearing a hat are you?

  Never mind just listen to this. They are talking in the neighborhood of about three billion dollars.”

  Marcus folded his arms and looked at Vinny in stunned silence.

  “Three billion! Who would pay that kind of money and why?”

  “Boy we have got these chumps on the run, they can’t keep up with us. They may be bigger than we are now but they are afraid that within a few years we might be just as big or overtake them. But if they buy us out they don’t have to worry about us any more.” Marcus saw Janice coming out of the house and approaching them with the baby. Vinny took the baby into his arms.

  “Hello my naughty girl, this is Marcus, the guy that I have been telling you about.” Marcus stood up.

  “Hello Mrs. Spinelli, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Vinny cut in.

  “You see I told you! I told you that he wouldn’t call you Janice! I win the wager now pay up!” Janice gave him a light kiss on the cheek.

  “That’s all I get?” She looked down at her very pregnant belly.

  “You have already gotten enough.”

  “Hey, hey, don’t talk like that in front of the kid. I don’t mean the baby I mean this innocent child here!” Janice paid her husband no mind. Vinny placed the baby into Marcus’ arms.

  “Marcus Vipsainus Peterson, meet your nephew, and he’s teething!”

  Marcus took his finger and started stroking the baby’s face and the child stopped whimpering. Vinny exclaimed to his wife.

  “You see I told you that Marcus is a natural at everything. Now with two other kids on the way we can’t let him leave ever.”

  Janice took the child back from Marcus and went back into the house to prepare something to eat.

  “You know Marcus this is a very expensive area of California to live in, this house is worth millions. But don’t let the place fool you, everyone here is clawing and still trying to make more money I am just lucky that for me so far it’s been easy. Tomorrow we are going to have a few friends and neighbors bring their daughters over for a cook out. Daughters that are just about your age and are of all shapes, colors and sizes, if you follow my meaning. Or have you already found yourself somebody?”

  “No not yet.” The two men got up and headed for the house.

  89

  Lavender Is A Harsh Mistress

  “Marcus my boy you are starting to worry me. I want you to consider my house your house, here is a key. I want you to use the place however you like. After the twins are born me and Janice, are going up to Seattle to visit her sister. When I get back I expect to find some woman’s under garments under the bed in your room. Or even the top of a bikini floating in the pool.”

  “Sure Vinny, I won’t disappoint you, even if I have to buy those things myself.”

  Marcus had been in Silicone Valley for going on seven months. The twins had been born and Vinny and Janice had just left for Seattle. Marcus filled his time with getting a better understanding of how Vinny’s company ran. He would sit in on every meeting that he could and within two weeks he knew about ninety percent of the operation. What amazed him most was Vinny’s ability to pick people that were knowledgeable and loved what they did. Most of the employees were about the same age that he was. He liked being around their eagerness and dedication. He could also see why the bigger companies wanted to buy Vinny out. His company had posted a profit for five years straight and were on it’s way to going public.

  Marcus was once again making plenty of money and since there was nothing that he had to pay for. He just left his money in the bank and made a few investments that Vinny had turned him on to. As soon as a new line of BMW’s came out Vinny would always give one to Marcus and pay for it off of his expense account. Vinny had also set up some accounts at many of the finest mens stores from Silicone Valley, to LA. If Marcus wanted anything all he had to do was to make an appointment and go get whatever he wished.

  After Vinny, Janice, and the three children came back from Seattle. If there was nothing to do Marcus would just hang around the house and play with the children. Janice would lovingly refer to him as her “Three hundred thousand dollar babysitter.” She was also quick to notice how many girls in the neighborhood would ask to watch the kids free of charge when ever Marcus was there. After Cathy he just wanted to keep his love life simple. He would go on a few dates or spend a weekend with a girl. But he always made sure that it was strictly platonic. So far Vinny had not found any woman’s clothing in Marcus’ room or in the pool. But there was an incident 90

  Lavender Is A Harsh Mistress of a sexual nature that required Vinny to intercede in.

  It had started off quite innocently when Marcus was in the elevator and waiting to get off at his floor at work. He felt someone pinch his backside and he turned around to see who the culprit was.

  She was one of the women that also worked at the company. Marcus gave her a quick half smile and let it go at that. For the next few days she always made sure that she stood behind him in the elevator and repeated the pinching. Marcus figured that it had come time for him to speak to her about this because he didn’t want to lead her on. He went to speak to her in private in her office.

  “Look Miss. Spangler, I am truly flattered by your interest but I am not interested in getting involved right now.”

  “Oh that’s too bad Marcus, because you have no idea what you are missing out on!”

  She seemed to take his rebuff very well and Marcus thought that would be the end of everything. About six weeks later Vinny called Marcus into his office and told him to take a seat. Along with Vinny were two stern well dressed men that were the company’s top civil litigation lawyers.

  “Marcus, we have a big problem. It appears that one of our ex-employees has filed a sexual harassment case against you and the company.” Marcus moved up to the tip of his chair and almost tipped over.

  “Who!”

  “Her name is Francine Spangler, she used to work in our medical applications department. You know sending out checks to doctor offices and insurance companies. These are my company lawyers and they want to hear your side of the story. Then they will know how to proceed.” Marcus stood up with his eyes blazing.

  “There is nothing to tell! She grabbed my behind in the elevator a few times and I went to her office and told her that I wasn’t at all interested.” One of the lawyers spoke up.

  “We have her complaint here, let me read to you what it says. The lawyer proceeded to read what was on the paper.

  “One day on the work elevator Marcus Peterson, pinched my backside without my permission. I told him that I did not approve of such behavior and told him to stop. When he persisted in doing 91

  Lavender Is A Harsh Mistress the same thing on a few other occasions I admonished him in even stronger terms. After the last time he came to my office on the pre-text of something work related. When I turned around to hand him a file he had his penis out and asked me to come and touch it. I had to push him out of my office and was so upset that I had to immediately go home.” The lawyer than handed the papers to Marcus. Marcus didn’t take a glance at them and threw them onto Vinny’s desk.

  “Is any of this true Mr. Peterson?”

  “No it’s all a pack of lies.” The other lawyer stood up and asked.

  “Has any papers been filed in any court anywhere accusing you of anything like this?” Vinny had never seen Marcus so mad as he shouted at the lawyer. “I have never even so much as cursed at a woman and I resent your tone!” The lawyer now put his arm around Marcus.

  “That is exactly what I wanted to hear you say, and the exact manner that you said it.” Vinny added his two cents.

  “For what it is worth I will swear on a stack of Bibles as to my friends character. But you guys are the experts, what do you advise?”

  The lawyer that had his arm around Marcus sat back down.

  “I think that we should come to a
n arrangement with her.”

  Vinny sat back in his chair and pondered out loud.

  “You mean pay her off, how much would we have to pay her?”

  Marcus slammed his hand hard against Vinny’s desk.

  “Hell no! Why should we be forced into paying someone off based on lies? It would make the company look guilty as well as me!”

  Vinny walked to the door and asked the lawyers to leave his office for a few minutes. As soon as they left he went over and sat next to Marcus. His playful mood was gone, he was all business.

  “It’s just better to pay her off Marcus, and let me tell you why. Remember when I told you that a few other companies were looking to buy the company. Well in the past two months our Legal Acqui-sition Department has received some really serious offers. The offers are in the range of close to the billions that I spoke about. Chances are that I am going to take the offer and I will tell you something else my boy. This dot/com bubble is ready to burst because there are too many people getting into it and have no idea what they are doing. The time for a smart man to get out is now. I have been reading 92

  Lavender Is A Harsh Mistress the national and international tea leaves. This thing can’t go on forever, and it won’t. To get this sale done I would have to tell the buyer of all pending ligation that is filed against us. The minor stuff they won’t sweat. But this sexual harassment thing makes folks jumpy, gets them spooked. Since we have federal contracts the slightest hint of something like this could hold up the deal for years. The money that I am being offered won’t wait around, they will just go someplace else.”

  Marcus looked at one of the pictures on the wall as he spoke

  “If we took this to trial it would kill any chance of the deal, wouldn’t it?”

  “Yeah most likely it would be dead as a door nail. Look Marcus I have talked this over with Janice, and we have decided that we will go along with whatever you say. It’s your call and we will back you in which ever way that you want to play it. Who knows maybe I am wrong about the tea leaves.” Marcus leaned in and placed his hand on Vinny’s shoulder.

  “Don’t sell yourself short, you are as sharp as they come. If you told me to buy beach sand as an investment I would. You have worked too hard not to walk away with a big score now. If they make you and Janice an offer that you like then take the deal.” Vinny reached out and put his hand around Marcus’ neck forcing him to look him squarely in the face.

  “Are you sure Marcus?”

  “Of course I am sure.” A devious smile bloomed on Vinny’s face.

  “You know Marcus, when I told Janice about what this woman was accusing you of. She was halfway out of the door and I had to physically restrain her from going over to that woman’s house and punching her in the face. I never thought that she could get that angry about anything. I made a deal with her that she could go and punch that bitch out after this deal goes thru. That way I would be able to pay the civil suit that will be filed against her too”.

  The deal that Vinny talked about did go thru and after all was said and done he walked away with over two billion dollars. In celebration he gave a lavish party for all his employees. As well as giving each of them a hundred thousand dollar parting gift and also severance pay. The day after the party Marcus and Vinny got more 93

  Lavender Is A Harsh Mistress good news. Roger’s doctor had called to tell them that he was doing very well. Shortly after that the two men were sitting by the pool watching a red California sunset.

  “Well Marcus my boy now that you are out of a job what do you plan to do?”

  “I don’t know. I was thinking about going back to New Jersey, and hanging out with my grandmother.” Vinny flung a wet towel at him and missed.

  “You just make sure to return soon because me and Janice, are expecting you to raise these three kids. Since you helped spoil them it’s only fair that you pay the price like we have too. Vinny reached into his back pocket and presented Marcus with a bank statement.

  “Here you are boy, just a few pennies to keep you afloat.” It took Marcus’ brain a few seconds to process the amount of the statement.

  Vinny had deposited fifty million into his bank account.”

  “Vinny this is crazy, I didn’t work this hard.”

  “The first ten million is for letting us use that beautiful black face of yours to get those government contracts. The other forty million is for being a great friend, a fabulous uncle and the best babysitter ever.

  There is no use in arguing about it because me and the kids and the dog, and especially Janice have all agreed. It’s fifty million and not a penny less. Now remember that is a lot of money for a kid like you.

  Since I am nine years older than you I know how to use money. So if you go crazy and wind up blowing it all don’t forget one thing....I can always give you a little more.” Marcus let out a laugh and said.

  “This is the easiest fifty million that I have ever made.” Vinny took a suspicious look around. “Look Marcus, do you feel like eating this food that Janice cooked?”

  “No, I didn’t want to hurt her feelings but I don’t like it at all. But if we don’t our names will be mud.” Vinny kept looking around.

  “Let’s scrape our plates into one of the garbage bags in the garage and put our clean plates on the patio table. Vinny took care of the plates while Marcus kept lookout. As soon as Vinny was finished the two men shook hands and slapped themselves on the back for completing their mission.

  “Do you know something Marcus my boy! We are two very cleaver boys indeed! Listen we figured that you would be leaving soon and 94

  Lavender Is A Harsh Mistress Janice wanted me to tell you something, just some womanly advice.”

  “What?”

  “The reason that you can’t find a girl is because you might be looking for too much. There is one more thing that she also wanted me to tell you. You can’t fall in love with every girl that you go to bed with!”

  Vinny’s last words were the same words that were running thru Marcus’s head when his plane landed at Newark Airport. He remembered that a girl had said that very thing to him a few years ago. As he waited for his grandmother to pick him up. He wondered where that girl was and what she was doing now.

  Marcus was back home and there was no one happier to see him than his grandmother. As he bounded down the stairs to breakfast he pulled her aside and pulled her into the kitchen.

  “Have a seat grandma, I want to talk to you about something. When I was in California, and working for Vinny, I did pretty well and made a lot of money.”

  “I have never heard you talk about money before, how much money, and eat your food?”

  “Come on grandma, this concerns you too. When Vinny sold his company he got almost three billion dollars.

  “Did you say almost three billion?”

  “Yes that is what I said and he gave me fifty million.”

  Marcus what are you trying to tell me, that you are a millionaire?”

  “No grandma, I am not a millionaire, we are millionaires! I put ten million dollars into a bank account for you.” Mrs. Peterson sat frozen as she thought about what he had just told her.

  “Marcus, you mean people like us are now millionaires? What am I going to do with all that money?”

  “Grandma you said that you wanted to travel, well now you can. You can go where ever you like.”

  “What do you plan to do with the forty million that you have?”

  Marcus came and stood behind her and gave her a giant bear hug.

  “I think that I will get me a place” His grandmother took his hands and held them tight.

  “Please don’t tell me that you are going to move very far away again!”

  He bent down and pressed his cheek against hers.

  “No grandma not far away just across the river into the city, Manhat-95

  Lavender Is A Harsh Mistress tan. I have already gotten a job at a fashion company called Blakely and Shade.”

  If there
was one place in the world where money was more important than air, it was New York City. The more money that you had the more air that you could breathe. There are those that said that if you had enough money you didn’t need city air. You could inhale your money thru your nostrils directly into your lungs. Once the money had gotten there it would be turned into pure oxygen.

  Slowly but surly the word got around Manhattan, that a very rich young man named Marcus Vipsainus Peterson, was looking for a Penthouse. Within a week Marcus was being flooded with offers by every high end real estate company in the city. There was nothing that they wouldn’t do in order to attract him as a client. He was given tickets to every home game of every team in the city. If he wanted to go to a sold out Broadway Show, tickets would magically appear.

  He would be taken out to the finest five star restaurants and always given the best table. Once the owner of one of those companies drove all the way to Saddlebrook. To pick him up to see a brand new Penthouse, on Sutton Place. He finally settled on a Penthouse that overlooked Central Park, and had a view of almost all of Manhattan.

  The only problem that held up the paperwork and the contract was that Marcus wanted the building owners to remodel a part of the condo and turn it into another bedroom that he had designed himself. When he convinced them that he was ready to take his money elsewhere. They relented and got all of the necessary paperwork and permits. Slowly but surly he scurried around town picking out everything that he wanted to put into his new place. But everything that he bought he put into storage until his special bedroom had been finished, he wanted it fashioned after the Roman Coliseum.

  No matter what the cost was, he would pay it. Everything that he wanted done took about five months. The first person that he invited to see it was his grandmother. She loved the condo in general and his beautiful Penthouse view. But what made her jaw drop to the floor was his special bedroom. From the minute that she stepped over the threshold she was impressed and delighted.