Leaf, Erin M. - Appassionato (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour)

by Erin M. Leaf

  “Hey, everything okay?” Duncan called out, sauntering over to the couch where Jake slumped.

  Jake blinked his eyes open, startled. Shit. He looked down at the clipboard in his hands, hoping that the venue’s PAs weren’t incompetent. Because he clearly was. “Yeah,” he started to say then cleared his throat. “Yeah, I’m okay. I think I’m just tired.”

  Duncan frowned and sat down next to Jake, his right thigh pressing close. “Hey, I know things have been really weird lately.” Jake snorted. Duncan smirked, then they both laughed.

  “Yeah, you could say that again. The unrequited lust was quite the shocker, man.” Jake reasoned that he’d never been one to keep his mouth shut, why start now? The elephant in the room was driving them both insane.

  Duncan stared at Jake for a moment, clearly surprised. Then he relaxed and chuckled, a hint of relief in the sound. “You wish, loser. And anyway, I’m not so sure it’s all that ‘unrequited’ anymore, eh?”

  Jake felt the smile fall from his face, and he looked away.

  “Hey, I’m sorry,” Duncan began then shut up when Jake slashed his hand through the air, feeling like an ass. He didn’t know why he was having such a hard time with this.

  “Jake—” Duncan tried again, sounding genuinely regretful. Jake felt his insides twist at the pain on his friend’s face. He wanted to kick himself. He loved Duncan. He knew that. He didn’t ever want Duncan to feel sorry for Jake’s lack of ability to deal with reality.

  “Duncan, it’s not your fault. And you’re right. It’s just, it takes some getting used to. This bond thing is fucking with me, you know?” Jake looked up to see Duncan nodding. Then he grimaced as they both felt Emma suddenly wake up in the back of their heads and start paying attention to their conversation. “I went through my whole life not really thinking about my sexuality. I liked girls and boobs, and I hung out with you, my best friend. Everything made sense and then wham!” Jake clenched his hand into a fist and smacked it onto his thigh. Duncan looked away, hunching his shoulders, and Jake tried to explain better. Anything to wipe that look of disappointment from his friend’s face. “Everything changes. I mean, I love you. I always did, but to know that you felt this way all along—” Jake broke off.

  “Jake, it’s not like I’m going to do anything,” Duncan began then stopped as Jake shook his head.

  “No, no, man, I know.” Jake sighed and took a deep breath. “It’s that I’m suddenly no longer sure I want you not to do anything.”

  Duncan blinked. Jake could feel his skin warming as his friend looked at him first with confusion, then with slowly dawning open affection, the frown that had been on his face melting away. Jake searched Duncan’s brown eyes, reassured by their warmth. He tried to send good feelings back to him, along with a plea for patience, and felt his heart trip when Duncan smiled. Fuck, he’s gorgeous. It was the sexiest thing Jake had ever seen, and he struggled to own up to that thought instead of denying it. He must have succeeded, because Duncan’s smile grew wider, more mischievous, and in the back of his mind, he sensed Emma’s surprise, then embarrassment. Jake grinned, suddenly amused.

  “So, basically, what you’re saying is that you’re suddenly feeling an attraction to me, am I getting that right?” Duncan said, his voice light. Jake swallowed and nodded. Duncan leaned closer, and Jake held his breath, thinking, He’s going to kiss me. And I’m going to let him, just as a PA dashed into the dressing room without knocking. The two men jumped apart as the door slammed open against the wall. Jake looked up, noting the damage to the wall from the doorknob. Dammit. They’d have to pay for that.

  “Two minutes!” the young woman blurted frantically. “We’ve been looking for you everywhere!”

  Duncan grimaced then laughed as Jake ran his hands through his hair, trying to calm down so the erection pressing against his zipper would fade. It was damned uncomfortable. Then he smiled at Duncan. Both men could feel Emma’s puzzlement and faint embarrassment. “Gotta show to do!” Duncan said, getting up from the couch. He turned and reached down to Jake, not bothering to hide his arousal from his friend. Jake hoped Duncan’s hard-on would subside before he had to go onstage. He didn’t relish finding yet another ode-to-Duncan’s-cock video on YouTube. Catching Jake’s thoughts, Duncan winked. “Come on, man, you’ve got stuff to do, too.”

  Jake smiled at his best friend and took his hand.

  Chapter 3

  Over the next two weeks, Emma tried to get used to sensing Jake and Duncan. It wasn’t easy. Duncan was on tour, performing almost every night, and she always knew when he was on stage. The adrenaline rush of the concerts made it difficult for her to sleep, and she felt herself getting more and more tired as the days went by. She had to get up and go to work while Duncan and Jake got to sleep in after a show. It was difficult to adjust, especially with all the questions she had about what the future would bring, but still, the two weeks to the concert at Madison Square Garden where Julie won front row tickets passed quickly. Emma felt weird knowing that two other people knew what she was doing, thinking, feeling at any given moment but reassured herself that they couldn’t possibly spend all their time peeking in on her any more than she could spend all her time peeking in on them. It took concentration and focus to really understand what was happening in their lives, to hear complete conversations rather than just receive random impressions. Even as she got used to it, none of it was quite real to her. If it wasn’t for the marks on her arms, she would think she was imagining everything. Julie, on the other hand, spazzed out every time Emma casually mentioned anything having to do with Duncan or Jake. It made for some awkward conversations.

  “Yeah, Duncan tripped the other day and fell against a piece of equipment,” Emma was saying at lunchtime when Julie casually mentioned the bandage Duncan sported at the previous night’s concert. Many of the fans were speculating on the nature of the injury since the bandage was on Duncan’s neck. Julie squealed when Emma revealed her knowledge, making her wince. Emma didn’t even realize that she knew how Duncan had hurt himself until Julie began talking about it. Emma explained this to Julie.

  “Holy shit, Emma, that’s incredible! How do you know? Did you have another dream?”

  “Julie, please, you can’t tell anyone! I’m sure Duncan and Jake don’t want their private lives exposed for everyone to see.” Emma looked around, hoping no one else could hear their conversation.

  Julie looked at her friend then nodded. “I understand. You’re my best friend, don’t worry. I wouldn’t do anything to mess things up. It’s just so exciting! I’ve been crushing on Duncan for years, and here you are with a private line into his head. And he’s hot. Like seriously hot.”

  Emma smiled at Julie’s enthusiasm. She couldn’t blame the other woman. She’d seen interviews and internet footage of Duncan being mobbed by fans, most of them screaming women. “I know, I remember you rhapsodizing about him when his first album came out. And no, it wasn’t a dream. It’s like, I just knew. I wasn’t there and I don’t remember what happened, but you mentioned it and suddenly I had the answer. It’s really freaking weird, actually. I don’t know if I like knowing these things about total strangers.”

  “But they’re not strangers! We know a lot about Duncan and even Jake,” Julie burst out, grinning. “I mean, they’ve been on a zillion interviews together and stuff.”

  “Yeah, but that’s not their real life.” Emma paused. “I mean, it is, but it isn’t who they are when they’re done for the day and eating dinner. Or right when they wake up. The guy you see on TV is the public persona, the celebrity. The guys I know are the ones who forget to pick up their socks and leave pizza boxes on the counter overnight.” She shook her head. “I don’t even know if this is real! I mean, it feels real, but this is crazy!”

  “Emma, it’s real, believe me,” Julie began to say, taking a bite of her lunch, only to stop chewing when Emma sighed and put her sandwich back down without taking a bite.

  “Is it? Really? How do I know
? It’s not like I can just call either of them up. I don’t have their phone number. They don’t have mine. For all I know, this is completely one-sided. And aside from the initial buzz about ‘mysterious tattoos,’” Emma crooked her fingers in air-quote fashion, “we haven’t seen anything lately on the news about this bonding thing.” She ran her fingers through her hair.

  Julie swallowed her last bite and winked at Emma. “It’s real. I know it is. I stalk Duncan on YouTube, and for the past few weeks he’s been wearing long sleeves. Why would he do that if not to hide something?”

  Emma laughed. “Seriously? You’re basing my mental coherence on whether or not Duncan Green wears long sleeves?”

  Julie laughed, too. “Yeah. The man almost never wears long sleeved shirts, and now all of a sudden he’s covering up? I don’t buy it. More importantly, most of his fans don’t buy it either.”

  “So what do they think is going on?” Emma asked, picking up her sandwich again. She was losing weight, stressed from lack of sleep and the constant sensation of worry over the bonding thing. That was pretty much the only positive thing that had come out of this situation.

  I could stand to lose a few pounds, she thought then blushed as she felt Jake and Duncan in her head, vehemently denying that she needed to lose weight.

  She heard Duncan murmur something about liking curvy women before they faded into the back of her consciousness. She forced herself to take a bite, ignoring the strange look Julie sent her way. She chewed carefully and swallowed before speaking again. “Where do you read this stuff, anyway?”

  “There are a lot of fan message boards and blogs. And most of the fans think he’s got a new tattoo. Strangely, no one seems to have noticed that Jake is wearing long sleeves, too, or put two and two together about the bonding tattoo thing.” Julie shook her head. “Honestly, I don’t get it. It’s obvious to me what’s going on.”

  Emma grinned. “It’s only obvious because you’re my friend and I’m going insane.”

  “You’re not going insane!” Julie snickered. “You were already insane.” Emma smiled and finished her lunch, swallowing the last bite just as the sound of a commotion suddenly filtered through the closed door of the office. Emma looked up, frowning while Julie walked to the door and opened it. The library was noisier than it should be during lunch hour. Sure, some students came to check books in and out, but Portia was usually able to handle any mischief so Emma and Julie could eat their lunch in peace. Right now, though, it sounded like there was a mob out there. Emma stood up to see what was happening.

  “I can’t help it! It hurts,” a girl was saying, clutching her arm and crying. A boy stood near her, trying to touch her shoulder, but Portia kept him away from the girl. Both kids looked like they were in pain, the boy grimacing and rubbing his temples as though he had a massive headache.

  Emma felt a sympathetic stab in her own head. The headaches she’d been getting were better the past few days, but not completely gone. She frowned as she walked out of the office. “What’s happening, Portia?”

  The older woman gave the girl’s arm a shake and then let her go. “I caught them necking in the stacks,” she said, angry.

  Emma looked at the girl and realized it was Samantha, a junior. The boy she didn’t recognize, but he looked at least as old as Samantha or older. A senior maybe? She didn’t understand why Samantha would do that, she’d always been one of the good students—straight As, a little shy but always friendly and pleasant in the library. She liked to read, Emma remembered as she rubbed her forehead, her own headache growing stronger. Somewhere in the distance, she felt Duncan take notice. She didn’t understand what would make the girl disobey one of the major rules. “What happened, Samantha?” she asked gently, waving at Portia to go help some of the students lining up to get books checked out. The faster Emma could fix this problem, the sooner she could go get a painkiller.

  “I can’t help it, Ms. Bell,” Samantha began. The boy reached for her again and Emma didn’t prevent it, wanting to see what he’d do. As soon as he touched the girl, her face smoothed out and they both sighed. Emma frowned. What was going on?

  “You couldn’t help what?” Emma tried to understand.

  “It hurts when we’re away from each other,” the boy said, his voice cracking. Emma winced, understanding his nervousness. “It’s like, when we’re together, everything is okay. When we have to go to class,” he paused, shooting a look at Samantha, “different classes, I mean, everything goes wacky.” Emma looked at Samantha. The girl was nodding.

  “I don’t know what’s happening to us. And my arm is so itchy. It’s like I’m having an allergic reaction or something.” Samantha absently rubbed her arm.

  A chill went through Emma at those words. Could it be? “Can I see your arm?” Samantha nodded, and Emma gently rolled up the girl’s sleeve. On her forearm, it looked like a faint bruise was forming. Emma’s heart began racing. It looked exactly like her own arm did before the tattoo manifested. She turned to the boy and saw him rubbing at his right arm. “What about you?”

  “I didn’t do it! I swear!” He looked pale.

  Emma shook her head. “No, no, I know you didn’t. I meant, is your arm itchy too?” Emma noted how he didn’t seem to even realize he was still fingering the skin of his arm, too.

  He looked down at his arm. “You know, actually it is, but I’ve been so worried about Samantha that I didn’t notice until you said something.”

  “Here, let’s see,” Emma said, feeling Jake watching now, too. Duncan was alert, and she knew they were both seeing what was happening through her eyes. Or, at least she thought she could feel them. She grimaced as the boy pushed up his sweater. The skin on his forearm was red from his rubbing at it, but there was a slight bruise coming up, the same shape and size as the one growing increasingly defined on Samantha’s arm.

  “What were you doing in the stacks?” Emma asked, almost dreading the answer. She felt Jake trying to soothe her worry, and wished she could frown at him. “And what’s your name?” she asked the boy.

  “I’m Jonathan,” he said, then went quiet. Emma noted that he seemed reluctant to answer the rest of the question.

  “Samantha?”

  The girl was quiet for a split second, a look of intense guilt on her face, then she broke down. “I’m sorry, Ms. Bell! I know we weren’t supposed to! But I felt so awful, and when we agreed to meet here, I didn’t even think about, about—” Samantha was in tears now, but she quieted down as Jonathan hugged her.

  Emma sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose between her fingers. “Let me guess. You met here and as soon as you touched you felt better.” Both teens nodded, looking guilty but calmer. “And then after making out for a few minutes, you realized that kissing not only made you feel better, it made you feel incredible, right?” Both of them were looking at her like she was talking a foreign language, and Emma didn’t blame them. Usually when a teacher caught kids making out somewhere in the school they got immediate detention. Emma knew what she was supposed to do, but they were showing the same symptoms she’d just spent two weeks suffering, the same symptoms she could no longer deny were real. She took a deep breath. “Have either of you heard of bonding?” They looked at her blankly. “It was on the news about a week ago? How two people are drawn to each other, and then strange markings appear on their arms, like tattoos?”

  Jonathan cleared his throat. “I saw it on the internet but didn’t think about it much. Seemed weird. And anyway, this bruise isn’t a tattoo.”

  Samantha shook her head. “No, Ms. Bell, I never heard of bonding.” Emma noticed that though Jonathan was no longer hugging Samantha, their hands were still clasped. Emma didn’t want to think about what prying them apart would do to them. In the back of her mind, she felt Duncan and Jake agreeing with her.

  “Okay, look, I’m sending you to the nurse. I think you should both go home for the day.” They protested that they didn’t want to be separated, but Emma ignored them. “And
I will personally tell the nurse about the bonding thing. I’m sure we can work something out.” They nodded at her, trusting that she would help them. Emma felt a sinking sensation in her chest. Their parents were not going to deal with this well, she just knew it. In her mind she felt Duncan frown and caught the stray thought that at least the kids were boy-girl and not gay. She felt her blood go cold at the thought of trying to untangle that kind of mess. Emma worked in a very conservative community. She knew that many of the parents weren’t that open-minded. She watched as the marks on the kids’ arms grew more prominent the longer they touched. This is a disaster waiting to happen, she thought as she ushered them out of the library.

  * * * *

  Much later, Emma dropped onto her sofa, exhausted. She knew that she should get up, get ready for the concert, but she was totally wiped out after dealing with the nurse and the kids’ parents. Samantha and Jonathan refused to be separated. It took a lot of cajoling, but Emma was finally able to convince the parents not to force the issue. She showed them the news reports on the internet. They weren’t easy to find, which worried her greatly. The phenomenon was widespread, and just a few days ago, she was able to find a lot more data on bonding. Now, however, articles she remembered reading were missing. It was as if someone had done a methodological search and erase on all bonding data on the web. That freaked her out because she knew how hard it was to get rid of anything once it appeared on the internet. She’d finally had to resort to a little-known archive that cached articles and web pages. Something was happening, and she didn’t understand what it was. Why weren’t the people who were experiencing the bonding posting anymore about it on any of the social networks? What happened to all the blog posts? And even more disturbing, why had all the official articles about bonding disappeared? It was weird, and Emma was too weary to think about it any longer today. She closed her eyes and idly followed Duncan and Jake around the pre-show sound check, smiling as she felt Jake freaking out over some detail or other with the venue’s PAs. She tried not to think about the fact that Julie would be here in fifteen minutes, ready for their drive to New York. They had just enough time to get to the city, park, and not miss too much of the opening act. Emma felt a flutter of nerves in her gut thinking about the concert. Two weeks ago it sounded like a great idea, but now she was terrified at the thought of meeting Duncan and Jake face-to-face. Duncan was singing and joking around with his band right now, she knew that, but that didn’t prevent him from pausing to send her reassurances as he got wind of her mental state. Emma groaned, dropping her face in her hands, embarrassed.