Die Tryin'

by Stavro Yianni

  ‘Yeah, so?’

  ‘So, how can I open the door and push Taki?’ Nick Black was about to answer, when Charlie stopped him.

  ‘I’ll go,’ he said.

  ‘Yeah, you go, Charlie,’ Nick Black agreed, not about to start arguing with him.

  Charlie came over and took the key from Nick XR2, then marched over to the mausoleum, taking their main source of light with them. Once the two Nicks realised they had been dumped in darkness, they quickly followed him.

  Charlie stuck the key in the lock and turned it, and for a split second, Nick Black expected a zombified Marco to come rushing out, baring long claws and teeth, and sinking them into Charlie before racing over to feast on him and Nick Theo in an orgy of human flesh gorging—

  —But, it never happened.

  Instead, the door just opened and swung harmlessly away—which, in a perverse way, was a bit of an anticlimax in Nick Black’s mind.

  Charlie poked his head inside and looked round. ‘We’ll get the lid off first, then take Taki inside,’ he suggested, turning round to face them.

  The two Nicks agreed. They followed Charlie into the mausoleum.

  Nick XR2 made his way to the head of the tomb, Nick Black and Charlie to the left and right.

  ‘Just as we left it,’ Nick XR2 said with a rueful smile.

  Nick Black slowly shook his head. ‘I really don’t wanna open it,’ he declared.

  ‘Neither do I, Nick, believe me,’ Nick XR2 replied with sympathetic eyes. ‘Neither does Charlie. But, it’s gotta be done. We’ve come this far.’

  ‘Can’t we just dump him in here and shut the door? No one will find him.’

  Nick XR2 scratched the back of his head and shook it at the same time. ‘Can’t risk it. What if someone does come in?’

  ‘And there’s the smell to take into account,’ Charlie added. ‘No one will smell him in there.’

  Nick Black sighed. ‘Yeah, you’re right.’

  ‘We owe it to Tony anyway,’ Charlie stated.

  ‘That’s right,’ Nick XR2 said, echoing the sentiment.

  And Nick Black agreed. They did owe Tony.

  He took a deep breath and puffed his cheeks. ‘All right. Let’s not hang around any longer.’ He reached out and grabbed the lip of the lid, which was ice cold to the touch. The dragon sliding majestically across the lid was staring at him with pure rage in its eyes, and Nick Black swore it was now baring teeth when before it wasn’t. Just to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating, he closed his eyes and shook his head as if he had just been blinded by a camera flash, and when he opened them again, he saw the dragon still snarling at him. Angry. Mean.

  ‘Right. You all ready?’ Nick XR2 asked, holding two corners, one in each hand. Nick Black nodded. Charlie nodded too, but it might have been a twitch, whichever it was, it was good enough for Nick XR2. ‘Okay. Lift!’

  Nick Black applied pressure and his eyes widened. The lid went up an inch and seemed to stay there. The lack of Tony was very apparent; that prick could probably lift the thing on his own.

  ‘Come on, lift!’ Nick XR2 repeated.

  Nick Black ground his teeth and put more into it, feeling the veins on his neck bulging. The lid went up more, now about halfway.

  ‘Come on Charlie!’ Nick XR2 shouted.

  ‘I’m fucking trying!’ Charlie shouted back, before he grunted, bent his knees, and pushed upwards. Slowly, slowly, the lid was rising. Nick Black closed his eyes and pushed with all his might.

  There was a sudden release of fetid gas, and Nick Black wanted to retch again, but managed to hold on, his mind and system having become somewhat accustomed to the rotten smell of death. And at that moment, he understood what it must feel like for the poor bastards who go down and clean out the sewers—day one you puked your fucking guts up; day two you dry retched; day three you felt mildly nauseous, and by day four you had a stomach and sinus of fucking iron, able to sniff the pits of Hell and come out unaffected. Charlie started coughing loudly, and Nick Black knew in an instant that Charlie was stuck on day one, and had no doubt in his mind that he was about to drop the lid, sending them back to square one.

  ‘Hold on, Charlie!’ Nick XR2 managed to squeeze out of his throat. ‘Just hold your breath,’ he advised with an air of experience about him. ‘It’s the smell from inside! Means we got the lid off! Just ignore it and think of something else!’

  Charlie coughed again, but it was a suppressed cough, followed up by an agonised groan.

  ‘You okay, Charlie?’ Nick XR2 asked.

  Charlie became still, then began nodding feverishly. ‘Yeah. Okay…’

  Nick Black now regained his grip, the muscles in his arms tightening again.

  ‘Put it over there,’ Nick XR2 said, pointing over to his side with his head. They shuffled over in pigeon steps, their trainers scraping across the floor. ‘Okay. Lower it.’

  And they did, dropping it to the ground with a dull crunch.

  Nick Black puffed his cheeks and rubbed his throbbing wrists. ‘Didn’t think we could do it without Tony,’ he said. ‘Amazing what desperate humans can do…’ he added, putting his hands on his hips, and arching his aching back.

  Nick XR2 marched over to where Charlie stood, picking up the torch on the way. ‘Come here!’ he said to him, beckoning him with his free hand. He went to the side of the tomb and shone his torch inside. Charlie moved up next to him.

  ‘See?’ Nick XR2 asked sternly. Nick Black went and looked too. Nick XR2’s torch lit up Marco’s dead and bloodied face. ‘Marco’s dead, Charlie. So, no more shit about him killing Taki.’

  ‘It’s not like that, re,’ Charlie replied with slight irritation. ‘The dead are vengeful. They can do things.’

  ‘How can they kill people?’ Nick Black asked. ‘How does a ghost kill someone?’

  ‘I don’t know. Okay? But, they can, and they do.’ He looked outside at Taki sitting in the wheelbarrow and pointed at him. ‘What more evidence do you need?’

  Silence ensued for the next few seconds because no one could answer, not straight away anyway.

  Charlie shook his head. ‘Look. Let’s do what we’ve gotta do.’

  The two Nick’s agreed. Questions on what went on tonight were for tomorrow.

  They dragged Taki from the wheelbarrow, and edged him to the tomb. On three, they hoisted him up as best they could and dumped him in from the side, rolling him up and over. He fell neatly on top of Marco, his head face down between Marco’s feet, whose head was wedged in between Elisabeta’s feet, making them look like a human sandwich. The way their dead bodies were piled atop one another reminded Nick Black of a typical war film scene after a missile or bomb had struck.

  ‘Let’s get the lid back on,’ Nick XR2 said.

  They went over and grabbed the lid again and lifted the heavy bastard up. Nick Black wasn’t sure how much more his arms could take. But they managed (after a final big effort and two false starts) to get it up over the rim of the tomb. Collectively, they couldn’t hold on any longer and it fell from their grip. It landed back down with a final stony crunch.

  Nick Black wiped his hands on the sides of his jeans, his arms aching.

  He then stared at the dragon. ‘I hope I never see this fucking thing again!’ he said, pointing at it with a forceful jabbing motion.

  ‘That makes two of us, believe me,’ Nick XR2 concurred.

  ‘Three,’ added Charlie, catching his breath again.

  ‘Well, there’s no more room for anyone else, so I doubt we’ll be coming back here to dump our bodies in the future,’ Nick XR2 joked.

  Nick Black looked away, disgusted. ‘Don’t joke like that, Nick. There won’t be any more bodies…’

  Charlie went to speak when Nick Black lifted a finger to halt him. ‘Don’t say it. Don’t fucking say it!’ He bounced his finger on the air a couple of times afterwards, staring at Charlie from the side of his face. Charlie closed his mouth, and then huffed like a child.

  Nick Black sighed
. ‘Let’s just go,’ he said. ‘I want my bed.’

  ‘Yeah,’ Nick XR2 said, and picked up the torch. ‘I hear you loud and clear there.’ He led them back out. Nick Black grabbed the wheelbarrow. Charlie closed the door behind them. It clicked shut with a small echo. Nick XR2 went and locked it with that oversized key, and that was that.

  No more Marco, no more Taki; hopefully no more cemetery visits…

  The walk back to the car was a lot easier than the walk there, not only because of the lack of Taki, but because the eerie surroundings were now blotted out by the questions starting to form in Nick Black’s head—Was it really Marco who killed Taki? How can that be? Did he really believe that? Was Charlie insane? If Marco didn’t kill Taki, then who did? XR2? Could he really do that? Gouge his fucking eyes out like that? Nick Black couldn’t believe it. But, if Taki was gonna go to the police, then maybe XR2 was doing it to keep them out of trouble.

  And if that was the case, was it now such a bad thing…?

  Nick Black rubbed his eyes; they felt like hot marbles beneath his eyelids. It was all too much to think about right then, too soon after the event. He couldn’t believe Nick Theodorou could do that; couldn’t believe in ghosts either. He kind of wished it had been Tony who killed Taki because that he could believe, very much so.

  Who knew, maybe he did…

  They reached the back entrance just as another question formed in his mind: Is Tony okay?

  They waited by the car while Charlie put the wheelbarrow back where he found it, and all Nick Black could think of was Tony spending the next four years rotting in a cell. He bowed his head in shame and disappointment.

  Charlie soon returned, his wide eyes scanning everything. Nick Black gave him a friendly pat on the back and Charlie smiled uneasily.

  They got back in the car, Nick XR2 started it up and then drove away, leaving behind them the latest secret they just buried, and Nick Black wondered with fear and regret if it would be the last.

  TEN

  Nick Black hardly got a minute’s sleep, witnessing darkness morph into daylight.

  The questions that surfaced in his mind on the way out of the cemetery wouldn’t give him a minute’s peace. They wanted to be answered, and wouldn’t rest until they were.

  On top of that, he was worried about Tony. He might be a psycho, but he was still his friend. He thought about him locked up in a dirty cell with a heavy heart.

  The freaky shit Charlie was coming out with at the church was preying on his mind as well. He knew Charlie wasn’t all there, had known that for a long, long time. But he had completely underestimated just how far gone he was. The previous night conclusively proved that Charlie was in another entire fucking universe to every other human being on God’s green Earth. Seeing and hearing the dead? What was all that about? And if it was true, how could he have been able to keep it a secret for so long?

  And suddenly a thought hit him like a runaway train: was it all a conspiracy against Nick Mavro? Were all three of them in this together? Bump off Taki before he squealed, then make out (using Charlie’s madness as a diversion) that somehow Marco did it?

  He stared at the poster of Bob Marley Blu-Tacked to his wall. Could that be right? That it was all a plan concocted to take Taki out the formula (and in the process giving them more of a cut of the jewels), and fool Nick into thinking it was some supernatural force that was responsible so that he himself wouldn’t squeal on them because he wouldn’t know what the truth really was? He couldn’t exactly go and tell the police a dead man did it. So, in that case, they were protecting him from the truth as well as covering their own backs?

  And then something else hit him. If they killed Taki to silence him, could they then kill him next?

  Dead men tell no tales and all that…

  Surely they wouldn’t go that far, would they?

  He puffed his cheeks and ran his hands through his hair. It sounded so far-fetched, so paranoid, it was like something straight out of the X-Files.

  As far out as having contact with the dead, and the dead killing the living?

  He groaned and stuck his head under his duvet. He wished he never broke into that fucking mausoleum. No, he wished they never met that bastard Marco that night at the fair in the first place. Then none of this shit would be happening; Marco and Taki would be alive, Tony wouldn’t be in prison, and he would be able to sleep! He liked sleep for fuck’s sake!

  And you wouldn’t have untold riches at your fingertips, and the impending debts ready to eat you up like a Venus fly trap would still be there…

  He re-emerged from under his duvet and stared at Bob again. ‘What would you do in this situation?’ he asked him. Bob just stared at him through his slanted eyes, the biggest reefer in the world clutched in between his lips. Nick sighed. He knew exactly what Bob would do, so he dipped into the ashtray sitting on the cabinet by his bed and plucked out the half smoked spliff sitting in there. He sparked it up. Very soon, he was mellow, his eyelids heavy. Ah, MJ. Mary Jane. The sweet skunky green Goddess of all the universe…

  No Woman no Cry abruptly blasted out of his mobile, making him almost jump out of his skin. He leapt out of bed and darted for it, checking the name on the screen. It was Nick XR2.

  ‘Nick?’ he answered in a surprised voice, it couldn’t have been long past 8 am.

  ‘Get dressed,’ Nick XR2 said.

  ‘Dressed? What for?’

  ‘We’re gonna go and pick up Tony.’

  *****

  Nick XR2 rolled up about twenty minutes later.

  Nick Black rushed outside to meet him. He jumped in shotgun. ‘Where’s Charlie?’ he asked.

  ‘Don’t know. His phone’s switched off…’ Nick XR2 answered, turning the stereo down.

  ‘So, where’s Tony?’

  ‘Outside some nick in Haringey.’

  ‘And they just let him out?’

  ‘Looks like it,’ Nick XR2 said, pulling away from Nick Black’s house.

  ‘Did he say anything else?’

  ‘Like what?’

  ‘Like if they’re gonna charge him?’

  ‘He didn’t mention anything.’

  Nick Black reflected. ‘Strange innit?’

  ‘What is?’

  ‘That they’ll just let him go like that.’

  ‘They can’t keep him locked up at the station forever you know.’

  ‘I know, but…’

  ‘Look. You can ask him what you like when we see him,’ Nick XR2 said, turning the stereo up again. He had KISS on. Nick Black hated KISS. ‘Okay?’

  ‘No, it ain’t okay. I hate this music,’ Nick Black replied, talking about Beyonce, whose voice was currently all around him.

  ‘Well, that’s tough shit ’cos I like it.’

  ‘Well, if you’re gonna listen to that, is it okay if I have a spliff?’

  Nick XR2’s head snapped round, and the look in his eyes was like hellfire.

  Nick Black grinned. ‘Only joking, Niko,’ he said. ‘Chill out, man.’

  ‘After what’s been going on, I can’t chill out, believe me,’ he said stopping at some traffic lights, and turning the radio down a notch.

  Nick Black let out a heavy sigh and nodded his head in agreement. ‘I couldn’t sleep last night. Just kept on seeing Taki all mutilated and shit. Can’t believe what’s been going on. It’s freaky shit, man! Freaky!’

  ‘I know it is, re,’ Nick XR2 said solemnly.

  ‘It’s surreal. I mean did you hear Charlie as well? Seeing and talking to dead people? What the fuck is all that about?’

  ‘Charlie’s a case,’ Nick XR2 said. ‘I wouldn’t take what he says seriously.’

  ‘But then, like he said: how else do we explain what happened to Taki? Who the hell done that to him, man? And why?’

  ‘There’s gotta be a more rational explanation than a dead person doing it.’

  Nick Black glanced out of the window for a second, then turned to face Nick XR2. ‘Look, Nick. Now, I’m your fri
end, okay?’

  ‘Right…’ Nick XR2 replied in a slow voice.

  ‘Now, just tell me the truth. Did you, Tony, or Charlie do that to Taki?’ Nick Black quickly raised his palms in the air. ‘I mean if you did, I know it’s because Taki couldn’t handle what went down at the cemetery, and on that score he was a danger to us all, and although you lot didn’t have to kill him, I can understand why you did even though you didn’t have to because I know I didn’t do it, and unless Taki was into some serious shit that we didn’t know about like proper gangster type stuff, and he owed them money, or fucked a gangster’s daughter, I can’t understand why anyone else would kill him, and you wanted to keep me out of it in case I said something, but you don’t have to worry about me, I won’t squeal, so you don’t have to kill me too, and—’

  ‘Enough!’ Nick XR2 shouted, karate chopping the air between them both. Nick Black flinched, and then sat back in his seat, pursing his lips tightly.

  ‘Look,’ Nick XR2 began. ‘Like I said last night. I had nothing to do with what happened to Taki. Now as far as I know, neither did Tony, or Charlie, but I can’t say for sure because I wasn’t with them for the whole of last night. But, I suspect that they had nothing to do with it either because as far as I know, none of us are murderers.’

  ‘Tony is…’

  Nick XR2 brought the wheel round and overtook a Mini. ‘No, he’s not. He’s a violent bastard, yes. But a cold hearted killer? No. Tony’s sheer size and power, plus that violent streak he’s got were bound to get someone killed eventually. To be honest, I’m surprised he’s gone this long without doing it already.’

  ‘That’s true…’

  ‘Now, if you’re gonna ask me if Tony’s the type to think to himself that Taki’s a threat to us so I better kill him, then no, I think that’s wrong. I don’t think Tony’s calculating enough for that.’

  ‘And you?’ Nick Black stared at Nick XR2 from the corner of his eyes as he asked.

  Nick XR2 glanced at him incredulously, looked back at the road, then looked back again, anger now flashing in his eyes. ‘What the fuck about me?’ he snapped.

  ‘Look, man. I’m just trying to work out—’