Die Tryin'

by Stavro Yianni

  ‘Without doubt,’ Nick replied.

  Tony looked across the pub. Charlie was standing by the jukebox flipping through the tunes, just staring at them like he was hypnotised. Tony wondered what the hell was going on in his mind. What could he see? What could he hear? What did he know…?

  ‘You gonna get the ball?’ Nick asked, snapping Tony out of his train of thought.

  ‘Yeah, yeah,’ Tony said briskly. He polished off his pint, immediately wanting another one, a chaser, and a line of coke on the side. He went over to where the ball was, which took him past another Pool table where two fit birds were making Charlie look like Jimmy White.

  Tony straightened his cap and sniffed hard. ‘Excuse me, ladies,’ he said.

  One of the girls—a shoulder length blonde, wearing a black Gio Goi vest—looked up at him as she was about to take her shot. Tony got a great view of her cleavage. He licked his bottom lip.

  ‘What do you want?’ Gio Goi asked.

  ‘I do believe my ball entered your space,’ Tony said and smiled, giving her a sly wink for good measure.

  The blonde looked quizzically round to her friend—a cute brunette in tight jeans and peach blouse—who was standing by the table, cue in hand, waiting for her shot. She looked back at Gio Goi and shrugged.

  Would love a fucking threesome with these two, Tony’s mind perved.

  Gio Goi looked back at Tony again, her face scrunched up in confusion. ‘You what?’ she asked.

  Tony moved to his right, bent down, picked up his cue ball, and held it up between his thumb and index finger for them to see.

  The brunette rolled her eyes.

  ‘Right,’ Gio Goi said slowly. ‘Now, you’ve got your ball, go back to your table and play with it.’

  The brunette giggled.

  Tony felt a bolt of anger rush up into his chest. Are these putanes laughing at me?

  ‘Don’t just stand there staring,’ Gio Goi said as she took her shot, missing the pot by about a mile. She stood upright. ‘Hop along,’ she added, and strode off to get her drink.

  Tony’s anger suddenly intensified. ‘Hey! I’m just talking! What’s the problem?’

  ‘Go talk to someone else,’ Gio Goi said and sipped her Smirnoff Ice.

  ‘No. I wanna talk to you, what’s the problem?’ Tony replied, now getting very tetchy.

  ‘Just leave us alone will you?’ the brunette said. There was a look of scorn on her face that made Tony hate her. She didn’t even know him, and he didn’t know her, but he hated her, hated her more than anyone he could think of.

  Gio Goi put her drink back down, and went and stood next to her friend. Now the bitches were teaming up on him. Somewhere deep down inside him Tony thought: I could break every fucking bone in both their skinny little bodies, and there’s nothing either of them could do to stop me…

  He looked them both up and down, a look of contempt etched into his face. ‘Fucking lesbians!’ he snarled and turned away, straightening his cap again. He clocked Nick watching and laughing from his seat. Tony began grinning in return as he headed back for their table, throwing the cue ball up in the air and catching it again.

  ‘Nice going, Romeo,’ Nick said.

  ‘Fucking dykes are everywhere these days!’ Tony stated. ‘I swear, if I don’t get any soon, I’m gonna rape someone.’ He glanced back at the girls, who were now both giving him daggers while they continued with their ‘game’ of Pool. Tony gave them an aggressive shrug. ‘What?’ he asked obnoxiously.

  ‘Easy, easy,’ Nick said, patting his hand on the air ahead of him.

  Tony turned back to face him. ‘Listen, re. I’m this close to the brink, believe me. I gotta get some soon.’

  ‘With the amount of coke you’re doing lately, I’ll be majorly surprised if you can even get it up!’ Nick retorted.

  ‘Well, you don’t mind selling it to me, do you?’ Tony replied sharply.

  Nick gave him an indifferent shrug. There was no way he could deny that statement. He sighed and took out his wallet. ‘Here,’ he said to Tony, handing him a score from inside it. ‘Get yourself another drink; me another juice; Charlie another Guinness; and whatever Nick wants.’

  Tony stared blankly at him, confused. ‘Eh?’

  Nick nodded his head and stared to Tony’s right.

  Tony followed his eye line to be met with Nick Black, who had just walked into the pub and was heading their way. ‘Look what the fucking cat dragged in,’ he said. ‘Did you know he was coming?’

  ‘Yeah,’ Nick XR2 replied. ‘He wants some puff.’

  Nick Black noticed them, and sombrely held up his hand. Nick XR2 returned the gesture, except with a smile. Tony just stared at him hard.

  ‘Nick. Tony,’ Nick Black said impassively once he reached their table.

  Nick XR2 returned the greeting with a touch more emotion. ‘All right, Nick?’

  Tony said nothing, just stared.

  ‘Where’s Charlie?’ Nick Black asked. There was a look of slight concern on his face as he asked, and Tony knew why. They were all wary of Charlie right then for more than one reason.

  ‘He’s around here somewhere,’ Nick XR2 answered.

  ‘Is he…all right?’ Nick Black asked, leaning in closer, making his eyes two patches of shadow.

  ‘Are you asking in terms of his general health and well being, or in terms of his mental state?’ Nick XR2 asked back.

  ‘Both I suppose.’

  ‘He’s doing okay on both scores,’ Nick XR2 said, nodding.

  ‘That’s good to hear,’ Nick Black said.

  A few seconds of silence ensued. Nick Black broke it. ‘You, er…got that thing for me?’ he asked Nick XR2, scratching the back of his head nervously.

  Nick XR2 nodded. ‘Sit down.’

  Nick Black went and sat down next to him. After a second or two, he felt something being prodded into his hand. He closed his hand around it. It felt big; nice. He pocketed it, looking around him to make sure no one was watching. No one was, but he couldn’t help thinking that the two girls playing Pool were staring over now and then, a look of disgust in their eyes. Tony’s probably been doing his ‘thing’ on them, he thought to himself. Or maybe they’re looking in disgust because they think you’re a lowlife junkie…

  That’s just paranoia, he said to himself and grabbed a score from his pocket and placed it on the table. Nick XR2 pocketed it.

  ‘Right. Get the drinks in, Tone,’ Nick XR2 said.

  Tony stood up. ‘What are you drinking?’ he asked Nick Black in a flat voice.

  ‘Er, I gotta go…’ Nick Black said, looking from Tony to Nick XR2. ‘Carla’s waiting for me.’

  ‘What? You ain’t even got time for a drink with your friends?’ Tony asked.

  Nick Black looked down at the wooden table they were sitting at. It was covered in empty pint glasses. Not a good sign. ‘Look. She’s waiting for me, man,’ he said, and glanced round at Nick XR2 for some kind of support. He was on the orange juice, Tony was on the Stella. It was a no brainer.

  ‘You’ve got time for one,’ Nick XR2 replied, and Nick Black could feel him performing one of his Jedi mind tricks. He was telling him he had time for a drink, not asking, nor advising, but telling. And for a second, Nick Black felt his mind and tongue working in sync, wanting nothing more than to reply: yes, I’ve got time for one…

  But, he managed to resist the temptation, to override the conditioning. ‘Look,’ he said instead, with a little more force. ‘I told her I wouldn’t be long, and she’s waiting for me. I better go.’

  Tony started shaking his head. ‘Since when did a fucking bitch come between us, re? After all we’ve been through.’

  ‘She’s not a bitch, Tone,’ Nick Black replied in a neutral voice. He didn’t like him calling her that, but knew what Tony was all about, especially after a few pints, so tried his best not to take what he said to heart.

  ‘Yeah, she fucking is,’ Tony replied resolutely. ‘They all are,’ he then said out loud
, turning his head to face the two girls playing Pool, and staring at them with hot, angry eyes.

  Nick Black looked past him, to see the blonde respond to what Tony said by pointing to the brunette’s coat, who duly went and picked it up.

  So, Tony had worked his stuff on them…Nick Black thought to himself.

  They quickly picked up their belongings and made for the exit sharpish.

  Wise, very wise…

  Tony didn’t notice them leave because he was staring at Nick Black with those blank, flat eyes. Tony was morphing into that thing that skulks in the caves somewhere deep inside him, and for the first time ever, his target was Nick Mavro.

  Nick Black felt his stomach tighten and release some body chemical that felt like a wave of squirming electric eels. Stay cool, he told himself. Don’t say anything out of order, let him say what he likes, and it will all be okay.

  ‘Never did I think I would see the day when some black bitch would fucking twist your head so much that she’d make you forget your friends,’ Tony told him, pointing an accusatory finger at him. ‘You’re a fucking disgrace! You malaka! Fucking prick cocksucking shit eating motherfucker!’

  Nick Black turned his head to the side to see Nick XR2 just sitting there, a neutral expression on his face. He wondered when he was going to tell Tony to calm down, when he was going to rein his leash in.

  ‘I’ll tell you what. You go back to your black bitch,’ Tony said. ‘And you fuck her, and you better make sure you enjoy it, cos if I ever see her again, I’m gonna do it for you, whether you like it or not!’

  Nick Black jumped to his feet, and stared at Tony with hate in his eyes.

  Tony leapt up, stepped back, and spread his arms out wide. ‘Oh look! She’s grown a pair of bollocks! Come on then hard man, show me what you got!’

  Nick Black took in a deep breath. ‘You touch her, Tone…’ he said and pointed at his chest, suddenly not giving a shit if the thing inside Tony was out to play.

  ‘What?’ Tony replied, a nasty grin on his face. ‘You’ll what?’

  Nick Black nodded, and smiled ruefully. He knew deep down he could do nothing. ‘Just don’t speak about her that way,’ he said. ‘You don’t know her and she’s done nothing to you.’

  ‘Bitch has turned my friend against me,’ Tony replied. ‘That’s what she’s done.’

  ‘I’m not against you, Tone. You’re fighting against yourself.’

  ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

  Nick Black shook his head. ‘Nothing. I gotta go.’ He turned to face Nick XR2. ‘I’ll see you later, Nick.’

  Nick XR2 smiled thinly and raised his hand. ‘Go on,’ he said. ‘Go.’ Then to Tony: ‘Let him go, Tone.’

  Nick Black turned to leave and almost walked into Tony’s huge chest. Tony stood his ground, staring down at him. Nick Black took in a deep breath, and then walked round him, his head lowered, that nagging feeling of weakness not leaving him alone. When he made it past Tony, he almost walked into Charlie, who had just arrived back from wherever he was.

  ‘What’s going on?’ Charlie asked, a wide-eyed, paranoid look stamped on his face.

  Nick Black hadn’t seen him for a few weeks and noted how gaunt and wan he looked; his hair overgrown and wild; his stubble thick. And he knew in that instant something was up with Charlie, something not good. Marco suddenly sprang into his mind, and it made him feel even worse than Tony did right then.

  ‘How you doing, Charlie?’ Nick Black asked tentatively.

  ‘I’m okay, Nick,’ he said, and glanced at the carpet.

  ‘I just popped in to see what’s happening with you all,’ Nick Black informed him. ‘I’m leaving now.’

  Charlie’s head twitched. ‘Okay. I’ll see you.’ Nick Black glanced back to see Nick XR2 sitting at the table like some kind of Don Corleone, his henchman, Darth Tony, standing next to him, staring down at Nick Black, his arms crossed over his chest.

  Nick Black turned back to Charlie. ‘Yeah, I’ll see you, Charlie,’ he replied and walked away, feeling Tony’s stare burning into his back like a laser.

  The short journey to the exit felt like some kind of walk of shame. Or was it the walk away from a former life? From the people that he used to know?

  At that precise moment he couldn’t answer. He would need a little time.

  When he made it to the front door of the pub, he took in a deep breath, and walked back outside, not taking a single look back.

  *****

  ‘Fucking Mavro,’ Tony spat as he took another huge swig of Stella. It was his eighth of the day, well past his point of no return.

  ‘See him?’ Tony asked, continuing with his rant on Nick Black. ‘Comes in here, gets his drugs, then fucks off without even having a drink with us.’ He slurred his words, waving his pint glass on the air as he spoke, Stella spilling out of the sides and onto the carpeted floor.

  ‘You just don’t like his girlfriend,’ Charlie stated, sipping on the same pint of Guinness he was drinking over an hour ago.

  Tony spun round to face him, almost falling off his stool in the process. ‘Don’t talk to me about that bitch!’ he blurted. ‘She’s the one who fucked him up!’

  ‘Don’t see what either of ’em’s done wrong,’ Charlie continued, and to Nick XR2’s mind it was like he actually wanted to die there and then.

  ‘You what?’ Tony asked and became perfectly still, his blank, glazed eyes studying Charlie hard.

  ‘So what if she’s black?’ Charlie asked, knowing what Tony’s real problem with her was. ‘What difference does it make?’

  ‘Are you fucking me around or what, Charlie?’ Tony retorted, Charlie coming out Sharlie.

  ‘No,’ Charlie replied flatly. ‘Black, white, Greek, Mongolian, what difference does it make? People are people, Tone.’

  Tony sighed, and it came out as a long, hard grunt. ‘Listen, prick. You don’t bring ’em to your mate’s sister’s wedding, showing ’em off like a new car. You don’t marry ’em, and have half-breed kids with ’em. You stick to your own, breed with your own, Charlie.’

  ‘That’s bullshit, Tone. Anyone can have babies with anyone in my book,’ Charlie stated.

  ‘Yeah? Well, you’re a fucking lowlife as well.’

  ‘You knew he liked black women from a long time ago anyway, so why are you so surprised when he hooks up with one?’

  ‘Yeah, if you’re just gonna fuck ’em it’s all right, but not serious. That shit’s forbidden. Now, sort it out Charlie, before I smash this pint glass round your head!’ Tony then turned back to face Nick XR2. ‘Ain’t I right, Nick?’

  Nick puffed his cheeks and swung his head from side to side, weighing up the argument in his mind. ‘I agree with Tony in the sense that we should keep the blood pure,’ he then said sombrely.

  Tony began grinning. ‘Heey!’ he cheered. ‘That’s my man! You see, Charlie? This is a man that always talks sense; a man with integrity. You should listen to him.’

  Charlie ignored Tony and spoke straight to Nick. ‘Pure? Us?’ he exclaimed. ‘Do you even know your history? Since when are Greek Cypriots pure? The Egyptians; the Persians; the Romans; the Franks; the Ottomans; the English, and now the Turks, have all invaded. What do you think they did? Kept themselves to themselves? Nah, man. They raped, they pillaged, kidnapped our women. Your great great yiayias were probably raised in some Turkish harem! And we, we, are the descendants of all that. And look at us!’

  Tony stared at him with sallow drunken eyes, swaying from side to side on his stool. ‘What’s wrong with us?’ he asked. ‘And what’s a Frank?’

  ‘When I say ‘pure,’ Nick began. ‘I mean going back the last few generations. If you went back far enough in any race, you’ll find that they’re all descendants of invaders.’

  ‘Are you trying to say that I’ve got Turkish blood in me?’ Tony asked angrily. ‘You take that back, Charlie!’ he said and pointed his finger at him. ‘I ain’t got no dog in me!’ He then lifted up his FCUK shirtsleeve to
reveal his tattoo of Cyprus. ‘You see this? This is us, Charlie. No blacks; no Turks. Only Greeks!’

  Charlie shook his head and sipped more of his pint. ‘Patriotism and racism, a winning combo,’ he muttered.

  ‘What?’ Tony asked.

  ‘Nothing!’ Charlie replied.

  ‘Anyway, back to Nick Mavro,’ Nick said, cutting his hand across the air to try and defuse their argument. ‘He has been spending less and less time with us, and that’s something that bothers Tony as well as me, especially after what we’ve been through together.’

  ‘Well, to be honest with you,’ Charlie began. ‘As much as I love you both, if I had a woman I’d probably want to spend more time with her than you as well.’

  ‘In that case, if you had a bird I’d fucking chin her!’ Tony said all aggressive, leaning into Charlie—who didn’t flinch, but instead just shook his head.

  ‘Why does everything have to be about violence with you?’ he asked. ‘Why do you have to solve everything with violence?’

  ‘Ha! You’re one to talk,’ Tony replied, pointing his finger again.

  Alarm bells suddenly began ringing in Nick’s mind. He reached out and touched Tony’s forearm in an attempt to stop him from saying something he may later regret.

  ‘What do you mean?’ Charlie enquired.

  ‘You saying I solve everything with violence. We know what you—’

  Lonely by Akon began blaring out of Tony’s phone, cutting him short. His head twitched down towards it, and Nick knew why—that particular ring tone was set for whenever Maria rang him. And when Maria phoned, Tony stopped whatever it was he was doing to answer her call. Nick honestly believed that if Tony was in the middle of making love to the most beautiful woman on the planet and that ring tone played out, he would jump straight off her and run, not walk, but run to the phone and answer it.

  Luckily for them, Maria couldn’t have timed it better. Nick was sure Tony was about to say something to Charlie about Taki. They had to keep what they thought Charlie might have done that night to themselves, or Charlie would probably disappear out of their sight, and who knew when he would return and in what state of mind.

  ‘Maria?’ Tony said, the phone pressed up against his ear, an index finger plugging the other one so he didn’t miss a word.