Touching Deuce [Cowboy Mates, Psychic Connections 2] (Siren Publishing Classic)

by Lynnette Bernard

  Deuce stepped toward her, not touching her but standing close. “Is your life with me torture, Gracie?” he asked calmly.

  Gracie stepped back, knowing if she allowed him to touch her she would have a more difficult time leaving. She could not allow his touch, his warmth, or his words sway her. She had to be strong and do what was best for the children she should never have.

  “You know it’s not,” she whispered, looking up at him calmly.

  “Then why can’t we work this through?”

  “Because there is no way to work it through,” she told him firmly. Leaning forward, she zipped both of the suitcases closed and pulled them from the bed.

  “You’re not leaving, Gracie,” he told her as he immediately reached out and grabbed her forearms.

  She pulled away as if his touch burned her. In a way it did. It burned her to her very soul knowing she would never experience his touch again.

  “Yes. I am.”

  She stepped aside and started walking around him when his hand gripped her wrist tightly. She looked down at it briefly before looking up at him.

  “Let go, Deuce,” she told him firmly.

  “You’re not going anywhere, Mate,” he nearly growled.

  Gracie was calm as she faced him, but there was fire in her eyes as she allowed all the years of anger and loneliness to build within her. She hated everything at that moment. She hated the unfairness of life. She hated the cruelty of having the love she had finally experience ripped from her. And in that moment—she hated Deuce.

  “Marble.”

  Deuce released her immediately at the use of her safe word. He took a step back and allowed her walk past him. When she walked out of the bedroom carrying her suitcases with her, he drew strength from his years as a Dom, determined to control the urge he had to go after her and pull her back into their bedroom.

  Everything in him screamed at him to go after her—her safe word be damned. But instead of going after her, he watched her walk away. He stared at the empty doorway, every breath labored as he fought to control himself. His mate had just left him, and their bedroom was cold and empty—just like his heart.

  Chapter 24

  “I’m sorry, Mr. McKade, but you can’t go up without permission,” Madison called to Deuce as he bypassed the front reception desk of Gaines and Phillips Advertising Agency.

  “Watch me,” Deuce growled, walking with determined strides toward the elevators.

  Madison picked up the handset of her telephone, dialing for security immediately. “Deuce McKade is on his way up to Grace Emery’s office. Ms. Emery told me she didn’t want him to be allowed up to see her. You’d better get up there, Tony,” she told him quickly. “I think you’d better bring a couple of guys with you. Deuce is a mountain. He won’t be stopped easily.”

  She hung up the phone and smiled sadly at the oldest McKade brother’s retreating figure. She didn’t know what had happened to make Gracie refuse to see him, but even she could see that Gracie was wrong. She had never seen a man who cared about a woman more that Deuce McKade cared about Gracie Emery.

  She wished someday that someone would care about her like that. Hell, she would be thrilled if someone cared about her one-tenth as much as Deuce cared about her childhood friend.

  She sat at her desk and looked down at the picture in front of her. The sweet face of her baby sister’s daughter looked back at her. She was the sweetest four-year-old ever, and Madison had given up everything to take care of her. She could never have refused her sister, knowing her sister would have done the same for her in a heartbeat.

  Jessie had been so sick toward the end of her life two years ago. Madison had promised her she would take her daughter and would raise her as her own, and she had without hesitation and with every bit of love that was inside of her. She could never hope to find a man who was willing to take on a ready-made family, and she would never give up her niece, so the obvious sacrifice was her future with a mate.

  Running her fingertip across the cheap, black frame, she smiled sadly, tucking her soft, brown hair behind her ear and taking a calming breath. She blinked her light blue eyes quickly, determined not to get emotional. She couldn’t allow herself get down. She had to be strong. It was okay. She could do this. She could raise her niece alone. She may be her niece by birth, but she was her daughter in her heart. Every time she heard her little girl call her Mommy she realized that she would never hear that from any other child. Sometimes it hurt to think that she was destined to never know the love of a man, but she had finally come to accept her destiny. The love of her adopted daughter would have to be enough.

  * * * *

  Gracie sat at her desk staring at the computer monitor in front of her. The marketing campaign for the Serafin account had launched while she had been on leave. It seemed to be doing just fine. She was relieved to know that the marketing team was capable of carrying on without her. It made her decision to leave the company that much easier.

  The last two weeks had been the toughest of her life. When she had left the ranch, she truly thought she would lose her mind from missing Deuce. She missed his strength. She missed his kindness. She missed the way he held her hand whenever she was near him or held her in his arms whenever he spoke to her. She missed the way he smiled at her and talked with her. She missed the shared daily routine that made her feel like she contributed to his life in even the smallest way.

  He had called her at least four times every day. Each time she had refused to talk to him. As a result she received voice messages every morning telling her that he missed waking up with her beside him. At lunch she received messages that told her he wanted her with him to share his lunch and talk to her about his morning. After dinner he told her how the dinner table was empty without her there. And at night, just before she went to bed, he called and left messages that he wanted her to come home and sleep beside him. In every message he told her that he loved her and that he missed her. Each message ended the same way.

  “Please come home to me, Mate.”

  As much as she wanted to do just that, she couldn’t. She thought at first that maybe she could talk to Deuce about being together as long as they took steps to ensure that she didn’t get pregnant. She didn’t think Deuce would accept that condition, though. She knew he would insist that everything would work out and their children would be fine, but he hadn’t been the one who had lived his entire life feeling isolated. He hadn’t felt the horrible sting of pain whenever any man she dated touched her. She had. And she would not allow her children to suffer the same pain or loneliness.

  She had thought long and hard about her future and had decided that she wasn’t going to work at the advertising agency anymore. She had given her notice and planned on starting up a graphic design business from her apartment. She didn’t want to work outside her home anymore. She wanted to stay inside, away from any people who would be hurt by her touch. Maybe after a while she would venture out again, but she needed the break from the constant reminder that she was flawed.

  “Gracie, I need you to sit in on the Serafin meeting tomorrow morning,” Tommy Phillips told her gruffly as he entered her office without knocking.

  “What time is the meeting?” she asked him tiredly, rubbing her neck in an attempt to soothe the tightness of her muscles.

  “Nine o’clock,” he answered, his voice clipped and hard. “I need you to make sure that all the details of the campaign are completed and ready to be turned over to Simmons. He’ll be taking most of your accounts.”

  Gracie nodded and pushed her chair back, standing slowly. She was completely exhausted and a little lightheaded. She really felt like she was coming down with something. She reached behind her and lifted the heavy accordion pleated file from the credenza behind her desk, trying to shrug off the sudden feeling of nausea that came over her.

  “I have the hard copies of the campaign in here,” she told him. “I’ll e-mail all the files to both you and Nick Simmons. You can let me know i
f you need anything else.”

  Tom Phillips looked at Gracie calmly. Even though he would never tell her, he was sorry to see her leaving the company. Not only was she a good employee who was good at her job, he would miss her presence. She had always been helpful and kind to everyone in the company, including him. He wished things had turned out differently between them.

  He reached out to lay his hand gently on hers as she placed the file on her desk. The immediate sensation of pain he felt at the contact radiated up his arm instantly. He hissed as he pulled his hand away.

  “Damn it!” he yelled.

  Gracie jerked away from his touch before the pain could register, losing her balance and tripping over the wheels of her chair before colliding into the credenza. Her right hip connected solidly with the hard wood, and she couldn’t prevent the moan of pain that escaped her.

  “What the hell is going on?”

  The deeply growled words drew her attention to the door of her office. Deuce stood there glaring at Tom Phillips before he reached out and grabbed his shoulder and pulled him away from her. He put his body between them and carefully wrapped his arm around her waist, guiding her carefully to her chair.

  “Are you all right, honey?” he asked her softly, taking in her tired appearance as he looked down at her. He knelt down beside her and reached up to touch her right hip where she was rubbing it tenderly. “Did he push you?”

  “No, Deuce. I tripped. Tom didn’t do anything but touch my hand. I think I hurt him more than he hurt me. I was too busy falling to feel any pain from his touch.”

  He could see she was tired. He could hear the aggravation in her voice, but what concerned him more than anything else was that she sounded defeated.

  “I don’t know why that always happens, Gracie,” Tom told her with exasperation. “I should have known better than to touch you.”

  “Yes. You should,” Deuce warned him. “Don’t ever touch my mate again.”

  “Your mate?”

  Deuce looked at him with such fire in his eyes, the blue sparkling with the controlled anger he was feeling. “Yes. My. Mate.” It was taking every bit of strength he had not to get up and pound the man into the floor.

  “I’m sorry, Tom,” Gracie intervened. “I’ll get the account information ready for the meeting. Is there anything else you need?”

  Tom looked from Gracie to Deuce and back to Gracie. He saw the possessive way Deuce McKade held Gracie and the natural way he touched her. It was obvious to him that they were meant to be together.

  “No, Gracie. I won’t need anything else. I’m going to go to Human Resources and fill out an accident report on what just happened. You can check in with them in the morning.” He looked at her calmly, seeing the way she was leaning against the back of her chair, obviously still in pain. “Why don’t you take the rest of the afternoon off?”

  “That’s a good idea,” Deuce spoke up.

  “You don’t have a say in this,” Gracie told him angrily, stiffening at the way he looked at her with his eyebrow raised as if he was going to challenge her.

  Deuce smiled slightly, nodding his head just a bit as he acknowledged her words. His mate was going to make him work for her. He had no problem with that.

  “On second thought, that’s not a suggestion, Gracie,” Tom spoke up. “You’re obviously injured. I want you to go to the emergency room and get an X-ray of your hip. I don’t want you to take any chances.”

  Deuce worried immediately at the thought that his Gracie was seriously injured. He also felt a rush of panic at the thought of their unborn baby being affected by the X-ray that she would have.

  “I don’t need an X-ray,” Gracie spoke up, pushing at Deuce’s hands until he released her and leaned back slightly. She couldn’t stand him touching her. It made her want him to hold her and take her home with him. “I’m just sore. I’ll be fine.”

  Security arrived at that moment. Three men stood in her doorway, taking in the situation. Gracie sighed and rubbed at her eyes tiredly.

  “Is there a problem, Ms. Emery?” Tony asked her, looking from Deuce to Tom Phillips.

  “No, Tony,” Gracie assured him. “Everything is fine. Thanks for your concern.”

  “If you’re sure,” Tony told her hesitantly.

  “I’m sure. Please thank Madison for me.”

  Tony nodded briefly and turned to go, hesitating a moment. “Just give me a call if you need anything.”

  Gracie nodded, smiling sadly. Tony was a good guy, but he was no match for Deuce. She looked at the man who was her mate and closed her eyes. It was physically painful to see him. She wanted to crawl into his arms and sink into his strength. Opening her eyes slowly, she watched him silently—afraid to move in case she lost control and actually reached for him.

  Once security left, Tom made his way to the office doorway. “Go on home, Gracie,” he told her firmly. “See you in the morning.”

  Once he left, Gracie was very aware of Deuce’s close proximity to her. She could feel the heat of his body. She was aware of the energy that he was emitting and knew that if she didn’t remove herself from the situation she was going to fall apart.

  Turning, she straightened out the papers on her desk and shut down her computer. Reaching down, she opened her bottom drawer and removed her purse. Closing the drawer quickly, she stood slowly, reaching for the desktop to steady herself as the pain in her hip made her nearly fall.

  Deuce’s hands were there to steady her immediately. He turned her gently and pulled her toward him until she stood directly in front of his face. She held her breath as he leaned toward her and kissed her hip lightly then turned his face to nuzzle into her belly.

  She almost reached down and carded her fingers through his hair to hold him against her. Instead, she fisted her hands at her sides and took a calming breath.

  “I need you to go home, Deuce,” she told him firmly. There was no room for hesitation on her part. She was not about to engage in an argument with him. She had to remain strong.

  He looked up, his beautiful, blue eyes tugging at her heart. She watched him silently as he knelt before her. His eyes never left hers as he kissed her belly lightly before leaning back and standing.

  “I came here so we can talk, Gracie,” Deuce told her calmly. “You won’t answer my phone calls.”

  “No, I won’t.”

  “Why not, baby?”

  “I can’t talk to you, Deuce,” she told him softly. “I need you to move on with your life.”

  “Not without you, honey.”

  Gracie stepped away from him and walked around him until she was standing in the doorway of her office. “I’m sorry.”

  She turned and walked away, making her way toward the elevators slowly. Her hip was really sore, and it took a great deal of effort to walk without betraying her pain. She pressed the button to call the elevator and waited silently, aware that Deuce came up beside her, standing close enough to her that she could smell the wonderful scent that belonged to him. She could feel his eyes on her, but she wasn’t about to look at him. If she did, she knew she would cave and reach out to him.

  The ding of the bell indicating that the elevator had arrived brought her attention to the doors, waiting as they slid open, unsure what she would do if Deuce decided to push her to talk. She walked into the elevator, pushed the first floor button, and turned to lean against the back wall. Deuce followed her into the elevator car and stood beside her, looking at her intently.

  “Remember what happened the last time we were in this elevator, Mate?” he asked her, his voice deep with need. “Want to do that again?”

  Gracie turned to face him and pointed at him with the index finger of her right hand. “You. Go stand over there.” She pointed to the far wall of the elevator, panic making her speak with firmness. There was no way she could keep her distance from him as she needed to if he touched her the way he had before.

  He smiled and stepped back, leaning against the far wall of the elevat
or. He tipped his hat up with his index finger and crossed his arms across his chest. He looked as relaxed as she had ever seen him. That made her worry. When the elevator car came to a stop and the doors slid open, she walked out quickly and made her way to Madison’s reception desk.

  “Madison, I’m leaving for the day,” she told her friend calmly. “I’ll be back in the morning. You can pass any calls to my voice mail. If a client needs to speak to someone, Nick Simmons is taking over my accounts. You can transfer the calls to him.”

  “Okay, Gracie,” Madison told her calmly, looking at Deuce briefly before returning her attention to her friend. “Are you okay?” she asked softly.

  Gracie nodded and reached out to touch Madison’s hand lightly. “I’m good. How are you?”

  “I’m okay,” Madison told her softly. “I’m still looking for another job. I can’t afford to stay here anymore. I can’t take care of me and Cooper on this pay.”

  “My brothers are looking for someone to help in the office at our construction company,” Deuce spoke up, stepping forward. “If you’re interested, I can tell them you’ll stop by to talk to them when you’re able to get the time.”

  Madison’s blue eyes filled with hope. She looked at Gracie, waiting for her friend to give her some kind of indication if she thought it was a good idea or not.

  “I think you would like working at the construction company,” Gracie told her quietly. “Luke, Rafe, and Jake would treat you really well.”

  Madison nodded, turning to face Deuce. “I’d like to stop by after work tomorrow, if that’s okay. I can be there by four o’clock.”

  “That’s fine,” Deuce told her. “I’ll tell my brothers.”

  “Thank you.”

  Deuce tipped his hat toward her then turned to face Gracie. She looked at him briefly before turning back to her friend.

  “I’ll see you in the morning.”

  Gracie walked through the lobby and left the building, worrying when Deuce matched her step for step. Once they were outside, she turned to face him, putting up her hands to stop him when he moved to take her into his arms.