by Mz. Lady P
*****
“Come rub my feet Quanie bae.” I was only four months pregnant and my feet were huge. The doctor wanted me to be on bed rest but I had to help out with my grandkids. This pregnancy has been kind of rough on me due to my age. I’ve been so worried about the health of the baby. I recently did a test to see if my baby had Down syndrome. The doctor was concerned due to my age. Thankfully, all of the tests came back normal. Even if they wouldn’t have, I would love my little munchkin no matter what, and Quanie would too.
“If you stay off of your feet like the doctor told you, I wouldn’t have to rub your feet with your hard headed ass.” I just rolled my eyes at his ass. We’ve had this conversation over and over. Quanie loves me but I don’t think he fully understands the relationship I have with my kids. No matter how old Thug, Malik, or Ta’Jay gets, they will always be my babies and so will their children.
“I know baby, but Thug needed me today.” Quanie kissed all of my toes and it caused me to moan out in pleasure. His lips are so soft and juicy.
“How does that feel bae?”
“It feels so good. You always make me feel good.” I make it my business to tell Quanie all the time how good he is to me. No matter what, he’s been so supportive to us during this hard time. At first, I thought he couldn’t handle it but he has shown us all different. I think he has even started to grow on Malik, even though Malik is still being a petty spoiled ass brat.
“That’s my job baby. I love you so much and I’m happy you’re giving me my first born son. There is nothing in this world I wouldn’t do for you. All you have to do is ask and it’s yours.” I sat up and kissed him with so much passion. It never ceases to amaze me how at my age, I was able to find love and solace in a younger man. I know that many people look at our age difference and judge us, but we couldn’t care less. What they eat doesn’t make us shit. We balance each other out and that’s all that matters. There is no other place that I’d rather be then right here with Quanie. For the rest of the night, we chilled and got some much-needed rest. All night, I kept having an eerie feeling that some shit was about to kick off. Lord knows that’s the last thing we need right now. My family was bent right now, but we were not broken. Therefore, whatever or whoever was coming our way better be trained to go, because we stay ready.
Chapter 4- Ta’Jay
We Need a Resolution
Never in a million years did I think Tahari wouldn’t be here with us. Losing her has left a huge void in my life. I have no idea how I’m going to go on in life without my sister. I feel like I should have told my brother what we were doing. If I had followed my first mind, Tahari would have been here. Thug never would have spazzed out on her, causing her to leave the house upset. Lately, I haven’t been feeling this life we live. For the longest time, I’ve just wanted to walk away from it all. I love my family but I don’t know how much longer I can go on like this. Not to mention, things with Sarge and I have not been cool at all. He’s been playing me to the left since he found out what we were doing. I didn’t even try to explain myself anymore because I was wrong. Instead of following my first mind and steering clear of the shit Tahari and the girls were doing, I participated at my own free will and now my husband ain’t fucking with me. Funny thing about it is I don’t even care. He’s mad at me for holding him down, but he’s still out here doing the same shit. He refuses to leave this shit alone. After all that we’ve been through, he refuses to walk away. So I’ve decided to walk away from him and my family. I couldn’t care less if we’re married. Fuck a for better or worse. This is not the life I want for me or my son. I’ve been avoiding my brothers and I know that I need to talk to them. I can’t bring myself to look at Ka’Jaire in his face. I’ve never seen my brother so weak in my life, not to mention my nieces and nephews. They are all suffering in Tahari’s absence. This shit just can’t be life right now.
*****
“What’s up lil’ sis?” Thug asked as I walked inside his office at the house.
“Hey, how are you doing?” I couldn’t help but wrap my arms around him. At that moment, I knew that I could never leave my brother in his time of need. I could feel it in his embrace that he needed me.
“I’m not doing too well. I got some shit on my mind but I don’t want to speak on it.” Thug flamed up a blunt and handed it to me. I took a couple of pulls off of it and handed it back to him.
“I’m all ears big bro. You need to talk about whatever it is.”
“What I’m about to say to you, I haven’t even mentioned to anybody.” I watched as Thug put his head down in his hands. I immediately got up from where I was seated, and kneeled down in front of him. I could see my brother shedding real tears. That had me crying like a motherfucker. I wiped his eyes with my hands and hugged him tightly.
“Please tell me Ka’Jaire.”
“Tahari is not dead.” I immediately stood up to my feet. I’ve heard some crazy shit in my life, but this is by far the craziest.
“I know that you miss her, we all do, but she’s gone Ka’Jaire. We all saw the wreckage. There is no way she made it out of that.”
“I know the shit sounds crazy, but it’s the truth. She called me on the phone Ta’Jay.”
“You have a lot of enemies. It could be someone playing a cruel joke on you.”
“If there is nothing in this world I’m sure of, it’s the sound of my wife’s voice. That was her without a doubt. Ever since that first call I received a couple of weeks ago, I can feel her. It’s hard to explain. I need some answers.” I sat down across from him and I was speechless. I looked in my brother’s eyes and I knew he was dead ass serious.
“What do you want to do? We have to tell the family.”
“No! We can’t say shit until I get to the bottom of this shit. Promise me you won’t say shit.”
“Calm down. I promise I won’t say anything.” I held my right hand up to God. Thug had me worried but I knew that I couldn’t say anything. I was the one who couldn’t hot hold water in the family, so I was surprised that he even told me this shit. I didn’t even smoke like that but after hearing this, I had to get high as a giraffe’s pussy. I stayed and put the kids to bed and then I headed home. I was glad my son was spending the night at Malik’s house. I was too damn high to take care of him. The house was pitch-black when I walked in. Sarge’s truck was in the driveway so I knew that he was at home. It’s odd for him to have all the lights off, so I assumed he was sleep. I walked into our bedroom and I couldn’t believe my eyes. As soon as I flicked the light on, a big load of nut squirted out of his dick and into the air. I couldn’t believe this nigga was masturbating and watching a fucking porn flick.
“Really Sarge?” I said as I walked over and knocked the TV on the floor.
“Why is your stubborn ass surprised? It’s either do this, or go out and get some pussy from a random ass bitch.” Sarge jumped up and went into the bathroom. He slammed the door so hard that he knocked a picture off the wall. As I started to clean up the glass, I realized that we hadn’t been intimate at all. I still have intimacy issues, but I’ve gotten a lot better since we got married. I couldn’t help but look at the sheets. Sarge had cum all over the shit multiple times. I grabbed all the linen off the bed and changed it. After getting the room back in order, I laid across the bed and stared at the ceiling. I felt some type of way knowing that my husband had to result to masturbating. I felt less of a wife for not fulfilling his needs. No matter what, that’s my duty as a wife. I hopped off the bed and undressed quickly. As soon as I headed to the bathroom door, it opened. Sarge came out dripping wet with a towel wrapped around his waist.
“I was just about to join you.”
“If you really wanted to join me, you would have waited to change the sheets. Fuck outta here!” Sarge slipped on some underwear and walked out of the room. I grabbed him but he yanked away so hard that I fell. He just kept walking like I wasn’t on the floor with ass and titties everywhere. It was a good thing I didn’t hurt my
self, because I would have went across his shit. Instead of following behind him, I took a hot shower. I needed to let him get out of his feelings. After showering, I laid in bed and tried to wait for him to come back to our room. I couldn’t wait any longer so I went downstairs to find him. I was on my way into his office until I heard him talking on the phone. He was laughing his ass off. Something I haven’t heard from him in a while. A feeling of hurt came over me when I heard a woman’s voice on the other end. He was bold, talking on speakerphone with another woman, in the house that we shared. Instead of barging in, I just stood outside of the door and listened to his conversation.
It was obvious he had just met whoever the bitch was, because they were telling each other things about their personal lives. I didn’t know how to feel hearing him tell this woman that he was married with a son. I got a little teary eyed as he spoke on our deceased daughter. I had heard enough when he explained to this bitch about our relationship issues. That shit hurt because we haven’t even discussed the things that we were going through. It’s crazy how a nigga will discuss their personal business with a random bitch. No wonder they always have problems with side bitches. Sarge has no business even discussing me with this hoe. I went back up to bed. I didn’t even know how to feel. I made it up in my mind that I wasn’t going to act a fool over the situation. This time around, I was going to take the grown woman route. Although I knew that it would hurt me, but it was for the best. Sarge rolled in the room like it wasn’t shit. He climbed in bed and turned his back to me.
“Are you going to fuck her?”
“Don’t start with that shit Ta’Jay. It’s late and I have shit to do in the morning. Shut your ass up!” I promised myself I wasn’t going to go crazy on this motherfucker, but he was trying me right now.
“You shut the fuck up!” I said as I punched his ass in the back of the head. I jumped out of the bed and got ready, because I knew he was about to get my ass. I watched as he sat up in bed and rubbed the back of his head. He stood up, walked over to the closet and started packing.
“Oh hell no! You ain’t going nowhere, we gone talk about this shit.” Everything he grabbed, I snatched it and threw it on the floor. He tried to put on some clothes and I snatched that shit too. If he thought he was about to go out and fuck this bitch, he had another thing coming.
“I’m telling you to stop before I lay hands on your ass. You on bullshit and I’m not in the mood. You’re really asking for it Ta’Jay.”
“Fuck all that shit you talking about. I overheard you on the phone with that bitch. Nigga, your ass ain’t slick. You’re trying to go fuck her.”
“Would it matter if I did fuck her? Obviously, you’re not giving a nigga any pussy. I got needs and you’re not fulfilling them. All your ass do is nag, complain, and bitch about everything. I swear I wish I…you know what let me get the fuck out of here.” I couldn’t control myself. I just started fighting his ass and I didn’t care where my hands landed. Sarge slapped me so hard I landed on the bed. Blood filled my mouth due to me biting my tongue from the impact of his hand. I didn’t even cry. I sat up on the edge of the bed and drifted to another place. A place I buried in the back of my mind and the depths of my soul. The last time I was ever slapped that way, was when Snake slapped me for not sucking his dick right. I immediately shook the memory from my mind. Sarge kneeled in front of me with a towel for my mouth.
“I’m sorry I hit you.” He stood up and continued to get dressed. I watched as he took money from the safe. He placed his Black Card on the dresser. My heart dropped in my stomach. Sarge was really leaving me. I just wanted to beg him to stay so that we could talk about things. For Christ’s sake, we were married and had a son together.
“I’m sorry, my personal demons got in the way of me loving you. So much has gone on and I just became so disconnected. Obviously, you’re not happy. As much as I want you to stay, I’m not going to beg you to.” I refused to let him see me cry, so I went into the bathroom and placed a towel in my mouth to muffle the gut wrenching cries that were escaping my body. My marriage was over and the shit hurt like hell. What hurt the most was Sarge never even put up a fight.
It had been a week since Sarge left me, and I had been in my room ever since. I cut my phone off and hid from the world. I didn’t want to be bothered with anyone. The really fucked up thing was that I didn’t even want to be bothered with my son. I literally wanted to roll up in a ball and die. The sound of footsteps coming up the stairs made me pull the cover up over my head.
“Ta’Jay!”
“Leave me alone Malik.”
“Fuck you mean, leave you alone! We’ve been calling you like crazy. Not to mention you never came and picked up your son.”
“Just drop him off and leave.”
“What the hell is going on with you and Sarge?” I cringed just hearing his name. I pulled the cover from over my head and sat up.
“He left me Malik. He was supposed to understand but he doesn’t. I thought he loved me. How can he leave knowing I have nightmares at night.” Malik came and sat on the bed and hugged me tight.
“Snake is dead lil’ sis. He can’t hurt you or me anymore.”
“I know he can’t. It’s just that no matter how hard I try, I still have problems with intimacy and it’s taking a toll on my marriage. Sarge has to go out and sleep with someone else because I can’t satisfy him.” I couldn’t believe I was having this conversation with Malik of all people. Y’all know he ain’t got any sense. I guess since he can feel my pain, he’s able to comfort me.
“Sarge ain’t sleeping with no other woman. He’s been at my crib all week. You would have known that if you wouldn’t have turned your phone off. We’ve been handling shit all week for Thug. That nigga going crazy without Ta-Baby, that’s another reason I’m over here. That nigga got drunk last night and got into a car accident. Get dressed, Ma want us all over to her crib. She on some intervention type shit.
“Oh my God! Is he okay?” I said as I jumped up and started putting on clothes.
“He’s cool. I know you about to wash your stanking ass. You up in this bitch smelling like an outback safari, not to mention looking like the Bride of Frankenstein. Go wash your ass ASAP because you are not getting in my Range smelling like shit.” I just rolled my eyes at his ass and went into the bathroom. He plays too damn much but he’s the best brother in the world, next to Thug and Quaadir.
Chapter 5- Peaches
Shit Is All Bad
Pissed ain’t even the word to describe the way I’m feeling right now. How could Ka’Jaire be so damn stupid? He knows motherfucking well he has no business drinking and driving. I’ve been pacifying him and letting him just waste away, but that shit ends today. He is the glue that holds this family together. Without him, we’re nothing. My baby is stronger than he thinks. I fully understand that he is mourning the loss of his wife. However, he has seven kids that need him here to raise them. He is being very selfish and that shit ends today. I damn near died when I got a call from one of our associates that was handling the accident. Apparently, Thug was driving down a one way street the wrong way. In order to keep from hitting the car head on, he swerved and crashed into a damn tree. He is so lucky he is only walking away with a damn concussion. Things could have been much worse. I’ve called the entire family over to my house. Ka’Jaire needs to know that we love him and we will get through this as a family. He’s so damn stubborn and angry these days. He’s been talking crazy since I picked him up from the hospital. I damn near want to have his ass committed to the psych ward.
“You don’t believe me do you Ma?”
“It’s not that I don’t believe you baby. We both know Tahari didn’t make it out of that crash. Just relax. You hit your head really hard. It has you a little disoriented.” I could hear him sigh in frustration at my response. He was really spooking me the fuck out. He keeps talking about how Tahari called him on the phone asking for help. Now he believes that she is alive. The more he talks, the
more worried I become. This shit has me all fucked up. As a mother, all you want is your kids to be happy. I’m feeling like I’m failing my young King. All I want is to take this pain away from my baby’s heart. I’m not a religious woman, but I need God so badly right now.
*****
“Calm down big bro. We’re not saying that we don’t believe you right now. That shit is just highly unlikely.” Malik was trying his best to talk to Thug but he wasn’t trying to hear shit.
“Where the fuck are my kids? Let me get the fuck out here.” He went through the house and started grabbing all of the kids. I got up to stop him. I couldn’t help but cry because Thug was in rare form. The living room was filled to the brim with everybody who loved him. I was so happy when Markese jumped up and went to grab him.
“Step outside cuz, let me holla at you for a minute.”
“You my man a hundred grand, but with all due respect, step the fuck out my space.”
“You got that my nigga. Hit me up when you’re ready to talk,” Markese said as him Rahmeek, Killa, Boogie, and Hassan all got up to leave.
“Just let him be. He is in mourning. My nephew has to deal with this shit in his own way,” Gail said as she flamed up Newport.
“Why the fuck would you light that knowing I can’t smoke?”
“Bitch please! Ain’t nobody tell you to let that nigga, Quanie pop your old ass off. I thought I taught your ass to swallow them shits.” We all couldn’t do shit but laugh. Gail ass has no filter.
“Really Ma?” Aja said as she looked at Gail in disbelief.
“Girl, get out of here. Don’t act like you ain’t never let Rahmeek get off.”
“All y’all nasty as hell for even discussing this shit in front of me. Remind me to wash all the cups off thoroughly before I use one at y’all crib. I have a family full of thots,” Malik said as he walked to the back where Thug was. I was at my wits end with Thug. At this point, I knew that I just needed to let him be. He wasn’t trying to hear shit from any of us. He was starting to be disrespectful, but I knew my baby didn’t mean it so I’m going to just step back.