Caroline Anderson, Anne Fraser, Kate Hardy, Margaret McDonagh

by Brides of Penhally Bay Vol. 04 (lit)

  Annie was looking forward to a couple of days off over the weekend. She loved her job, but she hadn’t been sleeping well the last few nights. Not since Raphael had turned up, in fact, and she was longing for an early night in bed with a good book.

  She only had one more patient to see before she called it a day. Morgan was an anxious-looking woman who had come for her first antenatal appointment. She had taken a home pregnancy test and estimated she was about eight weeks pregnant.

  ‘We’ll just do another one here,’ Annie said. ‘If that’s okay with you?’

  ‘Is that necessary? I mean, there’s no doubt I’m pregnant. The test was positive and my breasts are tender and I’ve even developed a bump already.’ She dropped her hand to her stomach, a dreamy smile on her face. But there was something that was sending alarm bells ringing for Annie. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but she knew she’d be happier when she repeated the test herself.

  When she looked at the stick, she knew that her instincts had been correct. The test was negative. Not even the faintest blue line. Her heart sank. She hated days like these when she had to be the bearer of bad news. If Morgan had been pregnant, she wasn’t any longer. Just to make absolutely sure, Annie decided to ask Raphael to come and see her.

  Morgan must have seen the look on her face when she came back into the room. Her face puckered.

  ‘I am so sorry,’ Annie said gently. ‘But the test is negative.’ She could feel every word pierce the woman like an arrow.

  ‘But I have to be! I’ve wanted this for so long. And I have all the symptoms. Your test must be wrong.’

  ‘I don’t think it is, but just in case, I’m going to ask Dr Castillo to scan you. He has the most experience of scanning women in early pregnancy.’

  Morgan started to cry and Annie’s heart went out to her. She paged Raphael, hoping that he hadn’t left for the day. She was relieved when he answered, and when she told him about her concerns he said that he would come immediately.

  Annie had only enough time to prepare her patient for the scan when Raphael arrived. As usual he looked breathtakingly handsome, but Annie, still reeling from his revelation about consulting a lawyer, told herself that she couldn’t care less how he looked. Any man who suggested that she had used him to get pregnant and in the same breath threatened to take her child from her wasn’t a man she wanted anything to do with. How she could have fooled herself into thinking that they were some kind of kindred spirits was beyond her. And if he made her heart tumble every time she saw him, that was just physical attraction and she would get over it.

  Annie brought him up to speed and Raphael took Morgan by the hand and looked into her eyes.

  ‘I am just going to have a look at your uterus,’ he said softly. ‘If there is a baby in there, I will find it. Have you had any bleeding?’ Morgan shook her head silently.

  Raphael waited while Annie squirted some ultrasound gel on Morgan’s belly. Then he glided the probe over her tummy while watching the monitor intently. Finally he shook his head.

  ‘I’m sorry, but there is no baby there. In fact, there is no evidence you have been pregnant recently.’

  ‘But I am,’ Morgan wailed. ‘Please look again. It must be there. I swear I even felt it move yesterday.’

  Raphael and Annie shared a look across the top of Morgan’s head. Annie was bewildered. What was going on here?

  Raphael took Annie outside while their patient got dressed again.

  ‘I think she has a ghost pregnancy,’ he said.

  ‘You mean a phantom pregnancy?’ Annie was astonished. She had never come across one of those before, although she had read about them. Apparently it could happen when women so desperately wanted to be pregnant they managed to convince themselves that they were.

  Raphael nodded. ‘She must want a child very much.’

  Annie could understand Morgan’s feelings and her heart ached for her. She knew what it was like to yearn for a baby, to feel that something was missing from life. Although she had never imagined herself to be pregnant, she would have done anything to have a child.

  Annie almost smiled at the irony of it. Robert hadn’t loved her enough to want to adopt a child with her and now here was a man who was determined to be a father to her child, and she wasn’t sure she wanted him around.

  ‘I need to talk to Morgan,’ she said.

  ‘Would you prefer me to?’ Raphael asked.

  ‘No, she’s my patient. It’s my job,’ Annie said heavily. ‘But I wish I were about to tell her something different.’

  Annie saw a distraught but resigned Morgan out a little later, and after finishing her paperwork for the day left for home herself. She was surprised to find Raphael waiting by the hospital exit. She nodded a goodnight in his direction, but he caught up with her and walked beside her.

  ‘Are you okay?’ he asked, searching her face. ‘That must have been difficult for you.’

  ‘I’m fine. It’s all part of the job after all, isn’t it? Most of the time our work has a happy outcome, but sometimes…’ She shrugged. ‘Things don’t work out the way we want.’

  ‘But it upset you. You tried not to show it, but I could see it on your face.’

  There it was again. This man’s uncanny ability to perceive every emotion she felt. Even when she did her best to hide her feelings. Everyone thought nothing ruffled her, that she was able to keep herself emotionally detached, and she let them think that. Not least because it was the opposite of the truth. Her colleagues would be dismayed if they knew just how keenly she felt her patients’ pain. Perhaps it was because she understood their longing for a child only too well.

  ‘Yes, it did upset me. But I’ll put it behind me. And move on.’

  ‘Can you? Can you really put your feelings aside? Just like that?’ He placed his hands on her shoulders, stopping her in her tracks before turning her around and looking into her eyes. She felt a dizzying sense of being caught up in his aura like a leaf in the wind. The rest of the world seemed to recede until it was just the two of them, in a bubble of their own. ‘I need to know that you are okay,’ he said roughly, breaking the spell and bringing her back to reality.

  For a second Annie thought he was talking about her, but as his eyes dropped to her stomach she realised he was talking about her baby. Of course. Well, he had never pretended he was interested in her. As far as he was concerned, she was just a walking incubator for his child. She felt a flash of temper.

  She sighed. ‘Don’t worry, Raphael. I’m still pregnant. And I will let you know if there is a problem.’ However, seeing the look on his face, she took pity on him. It must be difficult to be a man sometimes. To feel excluded. But that wasn’t her concern. He would just have to deal with it.

  ‘The baby’s fine, honestly,’ she said. Then she couldn’t help herself. ‘I think I might have felt it move yesterday for the first time.’

  His eyes glowed and he dropped a hand to her stomach. He left it there for a second. Once again Annie felt electrifying shocks shoot through her body and her knees turned to jelly.

  She stepped away from him as if she’d been stung. ‘Hey, you’d have to stand there for a long time if you’re waiting to feel it move.’ She looked around the car park. Although it was almost empty, there was always a chance somebody would see them and what they’d make of Dr Castillo with his hand on her belly was anyone’s guess. One thing was for sure, though, she wasn’t ready for anyone to know that he was the father of her child. Not yet, at any rate.

  ‘You haven’t told anyone, have you?’ she said, suddenly horrified at the possibility that the identity of the father of her child was no longer a secret.

  ‘No, just my mother. She is delighted that she is going to be a grandmother again. She remembers you well, the way you were with Maria, and thinks you will make a very good mother. She is looking forward to meeting her grandchild in a few months’ time.’

  Annie decided to let that pass. At least for the time being. She
had no intention of letting her baby out of her sight and certainly not to Spain. Not without her at any rate. She had heard too many scary stories about kidnapped children and the way Raphael was about this baby, she’d put nothing past him.

  She started back to her car. She didn’t want to be rude but all she wanted to do was get home and gather her thoughts.

  ‘Do you need a lift?’ Annie asked. ‘Or have you sorted yourself out with a car as well as a job?’ She hadn’t meant it to come out quite so waspishly, but the way this man was organising his life around her baby was unsettling her.

  ‘Yes.’ He waved in the direction of a sleek silver sports car. ‘I drove it from Spain. And I have found a house in the village to live in, just ten minutes from your home.’ He quirked an eyebrow at her, as if gauging her reaction to his news.

  ‘So you’re definitely staying, then?’

  He looked surprised. ‘Sí. I told you I was. I accepted this job at the hospital. I cannot leave now, even if I wanted to.’ He took a step towards Annie. ‘You have to accept it. I am not going anywhere without my child.’

  The next day was Saturday and Annie had been invited to a barbecue at Lucy and Ben’s home. She didn’t know Lucy, who was one of the doctors at the surgery and Nick’s daughter, and who had gone on maternity leave before Annie had started at St Piran’s, but she knew Ben, who was an A and E consultant at the hospital. She hadn’t wanted to go, not sure she was ready to field questions about her own pregnancy, but Kate had pressed her.

  ‘You should get to know more people in Penhally, Annie. I know your friends and family are far away, and once you have the baby, you’ll appreciate knowing more of the mothers. It’s helpful to have someone to compare notes with.’

  Annie waited until she knew the barbecue would be almost over. Sure enough, by the time she arrived, the guests with young children were already beginning to leave, although there was still loads of food. Tables had been laid out on the lawn, which overlooked the sea, and the scent of grilling sausages filled the air.

  There were a few familiar faces as well as some that she didn’t recognize, but there was one in particular that made her heart thump. She hadn’t expected to see Raphael there.

  As she greeted the other guests she watched Raphael from the corner of her eye. He looked completely at ease, as if he’d known everyone for years. It seemed as if he felt her eyes on him, because he turned and stared directly at her. Annie felt her breath catch in her throat. He really was the most beautiful man she had ever met, with his Latin colouring emphasised by his crisp white T-shirt and the faded jeans that clung to the contours of his thighs. Once again the memory of the night they had shared came rushing back. She remembered only too well the touch of his hands and mouth on her body, the way he had made her feel as if she were the only woman in the world, and the most beautiful woman he had ever held in his arms. And the intensity in his deep brown eyes told her he was remembering too. She felt a heat low in her body and she almost groaned aloud. Why did he have to come back into her life right now, when she thought she had everything all planned out?

  Kate must have noticed her hovering on the fringe of the party. The older midwife came over and touched her briefly on the arm. ‘Are you okay, Annie? You look as if you’ve seen a ghost. Do you want a drink of water or something?’

  ‘No, I’m fine,’ Annie said, summoning a smile, rubbing her lower back. A niggling ache had started that morning. She had put it down to the added weight of the baby putting a strain on her lower muscles, but an underlying anxiety that something was wrong wouldn’t go away. For a split second she wondered whether to ask Kate’s advice, but immediately dismissed the idea. She was probably just being over-anxious. Besides, she didn’t want to draw attention to herself or ruin her friend’s day off.

  ‘I just feel a bit tired. You know how we are always telling our pregnant patients that it’s normal to feel exhausted? It’s quite different to experience it yourself.’

  ‘You don’t have to stay long,’ Kate said. ‘Lucy and Ben will understand.’

  ‘Thanks, Kate. I’ll probably just say hello to everyone, then make my excuses. But I’m dying to see little Josh again.’

  She picked up an orange juice from a table and sipped the drink, happy to have something to distract her from Raphael. She glanced around.

  Ben and Lucy were showing off their latest arrival, baby Josh, to a group of admirers. Apart from Chloe and her husband Oliver, a GP at Penhally Bay Surgery, there was Nick Tremayne with a blonde woman Annie hadn’t seen before. Dragan Lovak, another of the partners, was there too, with his stunning wife, the village vet. Their young son sat at their feet, playing.

  Annie went over to join them. It was the first time that she had been able to see a baby without feeling a wash of regret and she was happy to join in the crowd fussing over the cheerful, plump baby. Nevertheless, as she watched Oliver stand with his wife wrapped in the circle of his arms, she felt a sharp stab that she and her baby would never be part of a loving unit. She moved away, wanting to be alone with her thoughts.

  How would it be to have Raphael around—a permanent part of her child’s life, if not hers?

  As if he could read her mind, Raphael excused himself from whatever conversation he’d been having with Ben and came towards her. For a moment she wanted to run away. Her heart was pattering away inside her chest and she was finding it difficult to breathe. Her symptoms only increased as he came to stand beside her.

  ‘Dr Castillo,’ Annie greeted him formally, aware of Kate’s speculative gaze. ‘I didn’t expect to see you here.’

  ‘Dr Carter—Ben—asked me. We met at the hospital. He thought it would be good for me to meet some of the locals. He knows I am far from home.’

  ‘Everyone is very welcoming here. It’s a small community.’ Annie let her eyes sweep the garden. Usually she avoided gatherings such as this one. Everyone always brought their children, and until now she had avoided occasions where she would see loving couples proudly showing off their offspring. But now everything was different. For the first time she could admire the babies without the tiniest bit of envy.

  ‘Are you all right? You look pale,’ Raphael asked, his eyes dropping to her belly. Once again Annie was reminded that, as far as he was concerned, she was little more than a human incubator for his unborn child. She felt a crippling stab of disappointment. But what else did she expect?

  He was watching her, his brown eyes glinting, and she shivered. She wondered if he knew how much he affected her. He wasn’t to know that the night they had spent together had been the most exhilarating night of her life, one she knew she would treasure for ever. He wasn’t to know that she had been unable to get him out of her mind ever since. Thank God.

  ‘I’m okay,’ she said. ‘If a little tired. I don’t plan on staying long.’

  Again there was a sharp look from eyes the colour of the mountains in the evening. His eyes raked her body.

  He bent over and whispered in her ear. She could smell the tang of his aftershave and feel the heat of his breath on her neck. It took all her willpower not to shiver with delight. ‘Pregnancy suits you,’ he said softly. ‘You are all curves and your face…’ He hesitated as if searching for the right words. ‘Your face is glowing. You don’t look tired. You look beautiful.’

  This time Annie couldn’t prevent the blood staining her cheeks. There was something intimate in the way he spoke to her that made her feel as if they were the only two people in the world. ‘If you want to leave,’ he said, ‘I will walk you home.’

  ‘We don’t want people to talk,’ Annie managed through a dust-dry mouth. He had walked her home that night in Spain and look where that had led! Was he suggesting that they pick up where they had left off? Was he flirting with her? No, the idea was ridiculous.

  Raphael looked around in surprise at the people gathered in the room. ‘But they will have to know some time. Do you think you can keep us a secret for ever?’

  ‘There
is no “us”,’ she reminded him coolly.

  ‘But there is. You, me and our child. I will be proud to be known as the father. And I am certain you are proud to be pregnant.’

  ‘Of course I am, and everyone at the hospital knows about the baby already—I’m booked in at St Piran’s after all. Kate, Chloe and Nick all know obviously, Kate’s my midwife as well as my friend and Nick is my GP. But as for them knowing who the father is? Can’t we keep that under wraps for the time being? Please?’

  Raphael frowned. Then he smiled gently. ‘If you wish. For the time being.’ He echoed her words. ‘It will give us a chance to get to know each other properly. Now, would you let me walk you home? It will give us the chance to talk.’

  Suddenly Annie wanted nothing more than the comfort of her own house. Her mind was whirling, whether from Raphael’s proximity or the promise in his words she couldn’t be sure. As he had pointed out they did need to get to know each other—so that they could reach some sort of arrangement for their child. And she was curious to know more about this enigmatic man. For her baby’s sake, of course.

  ‘I just need to visit the bathroom first,’ she said, trying to sound casual.

  Since they’d been talking the dull ache she’d been experiencing earlier had grown in intensity. Her heart thudding, she told Raphael that she wouldn’t be a minute, and hurried away.

  When she made it to the toilet she was distraught to discover that she had begun to bleed. Not huge amounts admittedly, but enough to scare her witless. Was she having a miscarriage? She slid down onto the bathroom floor and hugged her knees to her chest, gasping as a wave of terror and shock raked her body. She couldn’t lose this baby. Not now. Not when the dream she had longed for, had thought was out of her reach, had finally come true. But hadn’t she, deep in her soul, known that it was too good to be true? That somehow it wasn’t in her destiny to be a mother?