Caroline Anderson, Anne Fraser, Kate Hardy, Margaret McDonagh

by Brides of Penhally Bay Vol. 04 (lit)

  Regardless of what he said, Annie felt rejected. Did he think she was trying to seduce him, to force him into a deeper relationship?

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she said stiffly. ‘I don’t know what I was thinking.’ Then she tried a smile to ease some of the tension. ‘They do say some women react like that to pregnancy hormones. I’m clearly one of them.’

  Raphael looked at her quizzically then opened his mouth as if he were about to say something. But then he seemed to change his mind and picked up a paintbrush.

  ‘I will finish this,’ he said. ‘You put your feet up and rest.’

  ‘I’m not tired! In fact, I feel great. I’ll make us something to eat,’ she said.

  By the time she returned from the kitchen to tell him the meal was ready, Raphael had finished the room. He stood back and surveyed his work, looking decidedly pleased with himself.

  ‘I wonder what it will be. A boy or a girl.’

  ‘We’ll just have to wait to find out,’ Annie teased.

  Raphael wiped his hand across his forehead, leaving a yellow streak of paint behind. Impulsively, Annie stood on tiptoe to wipe away the smear.

  Raphael reached up and trapped her hand in his. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her fingers, sending a jolt of electricity all the way to her toes. Before she knew it, he was kissing her. Deep, searching kisses as if he wanted to possess her very soul. But even as she felt herself melt in his arms, Annie knew it was a mistake. Breathlessly she pulled away. They stood looking at each other. Before either of them could speak, Raphael’s pager bleeped. He looked at the number and frowned. ‘It’s the hospital. Can I use your phone?’

  As soon as he replaced the phone a little later, Annie knew something was up.

  ‘It’s Claire,’ he said. ‘She’s gone into labour. I need to go to the hospital. I promised her I would do her section.’

  ‘I’m coming with you,’ Annie said, picking up her jacket.

  ‘Of course. I know they both want you there.’

  As they drove, they discussed Claire.

  ‘At least she’s made it to twenty-eight weeks,’ Annie said as Raphael negotiated the narrow lanes to the hospital. Annie had been present when Raphael had scanned Claire the day before. Everyone had been relieved to see the second twin’s heart was still beating strongly.

  ‘Yes. It’s better than I hoped or expected.’

  ‘The twins will need to spend a few weeks in Special Care. But let’s just hope the second twin survives.’

  Too busy concentrating on the road, Raphael didn’t reply.

  As soon as they arrived at the hospital they rushed down to theatre and were ready and waiting by the time Claire was wheeled in with an apprehensive Roy at her side.

  Annie bent over the mother to be and smiled reassuringly. ‘You’ll be a mum soon,’ she whispered.

  Claire looked up at her with frightened eyes. ‘I’m scared, Annie. So scared.’

  ‘Everything will be okay,’ Annie said. ‘You’ve done really well to have managed this far. And both hearts are beating strongly. We’ll need to take your babies up to Special Care as soon as they are delivered. But we’ll let you see them as soon as we can. Okay?’

  As soon as Claire’s spinal block was working, Raphael made his first incision. It wasn’t the first time Annie had seen him operate, but she never tired of the way his brow furrowed as he concentrated. He operated quickly, without wasting any time. Within minutes he was removing the bigger of the twins. As Annie stepped forward to take the girl from Raphael she was pleased to note that the first baby was a good size and, as it gave a loud cry, with a good set of lungs. The second twin was a little boy, and was more of a concern. He was very small and Annie knew that his parents were in for weeks of worry while his lungs developed fully. Very briefly, as promised, Annie showed Claire and Roy their babies before handing them over to the paediatrician.

  ‘They’re both so tiny,’ Claire whispered.

  ‘They both have a good chance, Claire,’ Annie said. ‘They’ll look after them upstairs. I’ll take you up to see them as soon as possible.’

  Claire looked from Annie to Raphael, tears glistening in her eyes.

  ‘Thank you,’ she whispered.

  Annie smiled back. She had a good feeling about the twins.

  Later, after they had left Claire and Roy, Raphael drove them both back to Annie’s house. Neither of them spoke, each too preoccupied with their thoughts. Annie thought back to the kiss they had shared. She had known that she loved him, had known from the day she had met him that she loved him, she just hadn’t been able to admit it to herself. Whatever she had felt for Robert, it had come no where near the feelings she had for Raphael. Whenever he was near every atom in her body seemed to come alive, and when he wasn’t there she missed him desperately.

  She sneaked a glance at him from under her lashes. He was like the missing piece of the jigsaw that was her life. But it was no use. Although he was attracted to her, he didn’t love her. And Annie would never again be with someone who didn’t feel about her the way she felt about them. Whatever pain lay in store for her, she would have to deal with it. Even though it would be torture to see him, share her child with him, stand by while he married someone else, she had no choice. As long as he wanted to be part of their child’s life, she would have to let him. She just had to make sure he never guessed how she felt about him.

  The days passed and Annie felt well and continued to revel in feeling the life growing inside her. Although she still had a few weeks to go, she was happy that everything was ready for the baby. Raphael had finished painting the nursery and he had assembled the cot, with her passing him the tools, much in the same way as she passed him instruments in theatre. At the hospital they worked together often and had developed an easy understanding of how each other worked. Raphael’s reputation was spreading and more and more patients, especially those with high-risk pregnancies, were asking to see him.

  After her clinic one morning, Annie went in search of Raphael and she found him in the doctors’ lounge, chatting with Ben Carter.

  As soon as Raphael spotted her he stood and went across to her. He touched her hand. ‘What is it, Annie? Are you okay?’ His concern never ceased to touch her, although she knew it was mainly for his unborn child. They still hadn’t spoken about what would happen after the birth. For the time being, Annie was content to let things ride.

  ‘I’ve just seen Tilly down at the clinic. I wanted her to see you, but she wouldn’t stay.’

  ‘What’s going on with her?’ Raphael asked. ‘Her blood-glucose control was terrible the last time we saw her. I had hoped she would have managed to bring it under control with changes to her diet and increasing her insulin.’

  ‘That’s just it. Her glucose profile was even worse today and the baby is much bigger than it should be for her dates.’

  Raphael chewed his lip, looking thoughtful. ‘Does her partner come with her?’

  ‘He wasn’t here today.’

  ‘It would be useful to know what he thinks,’ Raphael said. ‘Tell you what, why don’t I call in on them on my way home tonight? Would that help, do you think?’

  Annie was relieved. She couldn’t explain it but she felt really uneasy about Tilly. The young woman wasn’t looking after herself and Annie knew she would be devastated if she lost her baby. Why wasn’t she looking after herself better? Was it simply that Annie and Raphael hadn’t managed to get across how crucial this was for the health of her baby?

  ‘We should both go,’ Annie said. ‘I’ll meet you there after work. Say about sixish. Would that be okay?’

  ‘I have an elective section this afternoon after my main list is finished. But I should be able to make it, if everything goes according to plan. Which it will do.’ He grinned down at her.

  Her heart flipped. There was something so supremely confident about Raphael. In another man it might have come across as arrogance, but in him it was simple recognition of his own ability.
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br />   ‘But before theatre I have a postnatal ward round to do,’ he continued. ‘Are you joining me?’

  Annie watched as Raphael went to see each of his patients. Each woman got the same attention, as if she were the most important person in the world to him right at that moment. If someone’s baby was crying, Raphael would pick it up and rock it in his arms while he talked to the woman. He always managed to find some compliment for each baby that left the mother smiling with pride, believing her baby to have been singled out for particular praise. But it wasn’t an act. Annie could see he was genuinely interested. It was a different side to Raphael, one she had seen countless times since he had come to work at St Piran’s but it never ceased to surprise her. How much more tender he would be with his own child she could only guess at.

  ‘I thought Spanish men were too macho to coo over babies,’ she teased him as they made their way out of the ward.

  ‘Coo?’ He looked at her, puzzled. ‘What is this coo? It doesn’t sound very nice.’

  ‘Fuss. That’s what it means,’ Annie replied.

  ‘Spanish men love children,’ he said. ‘We don’t see them as inconveniences to be hidden away, like some countries. I would like a whole brood of them one day. A football team—or at least a five-a-side.’

  Annie felt her heart crack a little. It was another reason why she and Raphael would never be anything except coparents. The baby she was carrying was enough of a miracle. There would never be any more for her.

  Annie knocked on the door of Tilly’s small cottage but there was no reply. It was strange. She had telephoned after speaking to Raphael to warn her that they would be calling in around six. Perhaps Tilly had popped out to the shops?

  She knocked again and then tried the door, and was surprised to find it unlocked. She opened it and walked in. The residents sometimes left their doors unlocked in the winter, but with the influx of tourist at this time of year, people tended to be more careful. The house didn’t feel empty. Music was playing on the radio and there was a bag of unpacked shopping at the door, as if it had been abandoned. Immediately Annie felt alarm bells ringing. She stepped further into the house, calling out Tilly’s name. Perhaps she had gone for a bath? But then as soon as she entered the sitting room she saw her. Tilly was lying on the floor, unmoving, and Annie rushed to her side, dropping to her knees. The young woman was unconscious and Annie made sure Tilly was breathing before pushing her over on her side into the recovery position. She smelt for the distinctive odour of ketones, but it wasn’t there. Tilly must be having a hypo. So she needed to get sugar in to her system. Quickly, she rummaged in her bag. Did she still have the glucose gel she kept for emergencies? Thankfully, she discovered it hidden under a glucose test kit—she’d need that too. Taking a generous dollop from the container she spread the gel inside Tilly’s lips, hoping the sugar would be absorbed rapidly.

  She wondered how long Tilly had been lying unconscious. Where was John? Shouldn’t he be home by now? And where was Raphael? She could do with his help. She bent over Tilly, pricking her finger with the stylet from the testing kit. Her glucose was dangerously low, no wonder she was unconscious. She needed to get her to hospital. She was digging in her shoulder bag for her mobile when she heard Raphael’s voice calling out her name.

  He stood there, taking in the scene with a glance.

  ‘I found her here like this just a couple of minutes ago. She’s having a bad hypo. I’ve put some glucose gel on her lips, but so far it’s having no effect and I haven’t had a chance to check the baby yet. I was just about to call for an ambulance when you arrived.’

  ‘What about glucagon?’ he said, crouching beside Annie and checking Tilly’s pulse. ‘We teach all the diabetic mothers to use it an emergency. She must a keep a syringe of it somewhere handy.’ He took the Sonicaid Annie held out to him. ‘I’ll check the foetal heart while you see if you can find it.’

  ‘Shouldn’t I phone for an ambulance first?’

  ‘No, if we can get some glucagon into her that’ll buy us the time we need. She could do with a drip, too.’

  ‘Found it!’ Annie exclaimed, taking the cover off the prefilled syringe and plunging the needle into Tilly’s leg. Thankfully she had left it in full view on the side table.

  ‘She should come round quickly now,’ Raphael said, and sure enough Tilly groaned. Over her stirring form Raphael and Annie smiled at each other. Their eyes locked and Annie felt her world spin on its axis. He was looking at her as if…Then his eyes seemed to lose their warmth—as if she was a professional he admired, she admonished herself. Nothing more.

  ‘We still need to get her to hospital. The baby seems fine, but her diabetes is so badly controlled I’m not sure we should let the pregnancy continue much longer. She’s thirty-five weeks. Maybe it’s just as well to get her delivered.’

  ‘I need to find out what’s going on with her when we get her to hospital,’Annie said. ‘I know how much she wants this baby so for her to be taking chances with her health like this seems out of character.’

  ‘There will be time for that later. I agree it’s important, but right now we have to make sure that the baby stays healthy long enough to be delivered. I suggest that once she comes round completely, we put her in the back of my car and take her there ourselves. If that’s okay with you?’

  Annie nodded. She’d feel happier once she knew that Tilly was in hospital where she could be properly looked after.

  Tilly stirred and her eyes focused gradually on Annie. ‘Where am I? What happened? Where’s John?’ She tried to sit up, her eyes frantically searching the room. As soon as she realised John wasn’t there she sank back down and began to cry quietly. ‘He didn’t come back, did he? He’s never coming back. What am I going to do?’

  ‘Hush, Tilly,’ Annie soothed. ‘You slipped into a hypo, but you and your baby are all right now. Dr Castillo is here and we’re going to take you to hospital. We can find John later. You can phone him from the ward.’

  ‘You don’t understand,’ Tilly wailed. ‘He’s not coming back. He doesn’t want me or the baby.’ And then as Annie put her arms around the heaving shoulders of her distressed patient, Tilly sobbed as if her heart would break.

  By the time they had Tilly settled in the ward it was almost eight. Annie was feeling tired and hungry. She and Raphael agreed that they would wait until the next day before making a decision whether or not to deliver Tilly’s baby early.

  ‘She’s thirty-five weeks,’ Raphael said as they made their way to his car. ‘Obviously I’d prefer to wait another couple of weeks but I don’t think we can afford to take the risk.’

  ‘At least these days a thirty-five-weeker has an excellent chance of doing well. I agree with you, the longer we wait the riskier for Tilly’s baby.’

  Raphael opened the door of his car for Annie and helped her in. As she sat back in the leather seat Annie yawned. ‘I think I’ll go straight to bed,’ she said. ‘I’m too exhausted even to think about cooking.’ Raphael looked at her sharply but slid the car into gear without saying anything.

  ‘I wish Tilly had told me she and John were having problems,’Annie said. ‘I would have kept a closer eye on her had I known.’

  ‘What kind of man leaves his partner to cope with a pregnancy on her own?’ Raphael said savagely. ‘Especially when he knows there are difficulties.’

  ‘From what she told us, they had been having problems for a while. That’s why she got pregnant. She thought it would bring them back together. Poor girl.’

  ‘Irresponsible, you mean,’ Raphael said. ‘Gambling with her own health as well as the health of her baby.’

  ‘I don’t think you can be too hard on her,’ Annie said. ‘She loves John and she really wants this baby. Sometimes we all do things that aren’t completely rational. At least, I do. Can you say you’ve never done anything that wasn’t logically thought out?’

  He turned his head towards her and looked as if he were about to say something then thought bett
er of it. ‘I just wish people would realise that a baby isn’t an accessory,’ he said. ‘That they are a commitment for life. Not just something you have on a whim.’

  Annie heard the underlying bitterness to his words and knew he was thinking about Sebastian.

  ‘It is not our job to be judgemental,’ Annie insisted. ‘Our job is to ensure a healthy baby at the end. Just that. And if that means getting involved with their lives to make sure of that outcome, it’s all part of the job. At least, that’s the way I see it.’Annie broke off, aware that she sounded heated. But to her, patients weren’t just pregnant women, they were women with lives, women like Tilly with relationship problems, women like her who had to balance motherhood with a career, women who had financial worries, and all of that had to be taken into consideration.

  Raphael pulled up outside her house and switched off the ignition. ‘You really care about them all, don’t you?’ he said. ‘They all matter.’ He looked into the distance and Annie could see the lines of tiredness creasing his eyes—or was it sadness? ‘But what about the fathers?’ he continued softly. ‘Don’t they have rights too? Don’t they play an important part?’ He laughed mirthlessly. ‘Or do we exist just to provide the sperm?’

  Annie turned to Raphael. ‘I know your wife hurt you badly,’ she said, ‘but not every woman is like her. Most of us just want…’ She hesitated. ‘Most of us want a loving relationship, someone to share the ups and downs of life. And if a baby is part of that…so much the better.’ She had to force herself to look at him. ‘I know we got it the wrong way round. In an ideal world, I would be having a baby with someone who loved me.’ A muscle twitched in his jaw as he studied her intently. He looked as far away from Annie as she had ever seen him. ‘But at least I know my baby will have a father who will cherish him. Who will, I know, be there for him. And when it comes down to it, that is the most important thing of all.’

  Suddenly the clouds vanished from his eyes. ‘What is important that you eat and then get some rest. Come on, let’s see what you have in that fridge. I may not be any good at making toast but I can cook a great frittata.’