Sadie Was A Lady

by Joan Jonker

  Sadie was stunned into silence. She’d never had a dressy pair of shoes, they’d all been flat-heeled, heavy and ugly. But the pair Mary Ann was holding up for her inspection had high heels, they were in black, shiny patent leather and had a narrow strap across the ankle which fastened into a silver buckle at the side. Never in her wildest dreams had she imagined herself wearing anything as glamorous.

  ‘Well? Has the cat got yer tongue?’

  Sadie couldn’t speak so she showed her gratitude by flinging her arms around Mary Ann and sobbing into her shoulder. ‘God was looking after me the day He sent me to your stall, Mary Ann. Nobody has ever been as good to me as you’ve been.’

  Mary Ann patted the girl’s shoulder as though she was a baby. ‘There now, sweetheart, there’s no need to cry.’ She was feeling emotional herself and was having a job keeping her voice steady. ‘If yer don’t behave yerself I’ll take the bleedin’ shoes back.’

  Sadie sniffed up. ‘Oh no, yer won’t! They’re the most beautiful shoes in the whole world.’

  ‘Yer haven’t even tried them on yet! Come on, girl, get a move on. I’ve got a couple of customers to serve.’

  Tony Henshaw watched the scene from his stall opposite. And when he saw Sadie’s obvious pleasure and gratitude he suddenly felt good inside. He could have got a bit more for the high-heeled shoes but now he was glad he’d let Mary Ann talk him round. And when he saw Sadie tottering in her first pair of high heels, grabbing the table for support, his laugh was as loud as hers, Mary Ann’s and the customers. He felt quite bucked up and cheerful, thinking life wasn’t so bad after all.

  ‘I’ll never walk in them,’ Sadie said. ‘I’ll fall flat on me face.’

  ‘In ten minutes, girl, yer’ll think yer’ve been wearing them all yer life. I remember my first pair of high heels, they crippled me for a while till I got used to them.’ Mary Ann grinned, pushing one of her bright red curls back into the comb. ‘I’d have worn them whether they crippled me or not ’cos I wanted to be in the fashion. There were no flies on me in those days, girl, I can tell yer.’

  Sadie took her hand from the table and ventured a few steps. ‘Ooh, er, I feel as though I’m on top of a ladder.’ Another few steps and she felt more confident. ‘I’ll do it even if it kills me.’

  ‘See if yer can make it over to Tony’s stall to thank him. He did yer a favour, girl, an’ yer never know, yer might need his help again.’ Mary Ann watched Sadie walk across to the stall opposite with her arms sticking out to balance herself. Then she turned to the customer who’d been waiting patiently. ‘If I had legs like hers, Florrie, I’d wear me clothes up to me backside.’

  Florrie grinned to reveal her pink, toothless gums. ‘Wear them up to yer waist, Mary Ann,’ she raised an arm as though to protect herself before adding, ‘then no one will notice the gob on yer.’

  Sadie was jubilant as she walked home, until she neared the street where she lived. How was she going to explain that she’d bought three pairs of shoes on her shilling pocket money? She daren’t tell them she’d been getting sixpence a week off Harry because they’d jump to conclusions and call her a slut. And she was going out with Brenda tonight. She’d had to hide that sixpence under her pillow in case she was tempted to spend it. She wished she wasn’t going out with her workmate, then she’d have been able to pay Mary Ann and she’d have been straight. She wasn’t going with Brenda next week, even though it meant breaking a promise. There were so many things that she wanted, the money could be better spent than going to the pictures. And it wasn’t luxuries she was after, it was for things that people like Brenda took for granted. Like a comb that had more than six teeth in it, or soap to get washed.

  As she turned the corner of the street, Sadie made up her mind to tell a lie. It was only a little white lie, so God would forgive her. And it wouldn’t be necessary if her parents clothed their children properly.

  The shoes were wrapped in newspaper and Sadie hugged the parcel to her chest when she saw her brothers sitting on the front step. ‘Come on in, kids, I’ve got something for yer.’

  The boys scrambled to their feet. ‘What is it, our Sadie?’

  ‘Wait and see.’ Sadie entered the living room and tried to stop her spirits from sinking. What an absolute mess! And there was no need for it because Dot was sitting at the table with Ellen playing a game of Ludo, and her mother was sprawled on the couch with the baby by her side. All they had to do was get off their backsides and get stuck in.

  ‘Mam, I’ve been to the market an’ I got the boys a pair of shoes each. They’re not much cop ’cos I only had a shilling, but they’re better than nothing. I got a pair for meself as well.’

  Lily Wilson roused herself. ‘All that for a shillin’? What d’yer bleedin’ take me for – a ruddy fool? What tricks have yer been up to, yer little faggot?’

  Sadie managed to control her temper and feign surprise. ‘What d’yer mean, Mam? I haven’t been up to no tricks.’

  The boys were pulling on her skirt. ‘Let’s see them, our Sadie. Can we put them on now to play out in?’

  When Sadie looked at their excited faces she knew all the trouble she’d gone to, and the lie she’d told, were well worth it. But the look of dislike on her mother’s face gave her the nerve to bluff it out. ‘Yer’d better ask me Mam. If she doesn’t want yer to have them I can take them back to the man and get me money back.’

  ‘Ah, ray, Mam!’ Jimmy glared defiantly at his mother. ‘You promised yer’d get us shoes weeks ago, but yer didn’t, did yer? So I want the ones our Sadie’s got for us ’cos I’m not goin’ to school again in me bare feet an’ have everyone laughin’ and pokin’ fun at me.’

  Sadie raised her eyebrows. ‘Well, Mam? I don’t mind takin’ them back, I could do with the money. Those shoes were bought with me next week’s dinner money.’

  ‘No! Yer not takin’ them back, our Sadie!’ Les was nearly in tears. ‘Mam, tell ’er we can have them. I’ve got all sores under me feet an’ they don’t half hurt.’

  Lily sank back on the couch. ‘Oh, let them have them. I don’t care where yer got the bleedin’ money from.’

  Sadie unwrapped the parcel and took out the boys’ shoes, leaving her own in the paper. She just wasn’t in the mood for the sarcastic remarks she knew would come her way if her mother saw the black patent leather high heels. They would come when they saw her dressed to go out, but by then her temper might not be so high.

  She looked down to where the boys were sitting on the floor sorting the shoes out and the delight on their faces was a joy to behold. But the mother who should have been happy for them, showed no interest at all. She glared at Sadie with a sullen look on her face, making the girl’s temper soar even higher and causing her to blurt out, ‘I’m glad to see yer looking so happy about yer sons having shoes on their feet, Mam. And it was nice of yer to thank me for spendin’ me money on them.’ She turned to the door, then spun around. ‘There’s not many mothers in this world like you, Mam, thank God.’

  ‘But you promised!’

  They had come out of the first-house pictures and were standing on the pavement in front of the cinema. ‘I know I promised, but I’m breaking me promise, Brenda, because I want to.’ Sadie looked at the sulky expression on her friend’s face and thought what a spoiled brat she was. She wanted everything her way and couldn’t understand when she didn’t get it. She reminded Sadie of a young child, crying because she couldn’t have the lollipop she could see in the shop window. But she wasn’t a child; she would be sixteen in ten days’ time – old enough to behave like an adult.

  ‘But I’ll be on me own, I’ve no one else to go with.’ Brenda’s bottom lip trembled. ‘Just this once, Sadie?’

  ‘No.’ Sadie hardened her heart. Never again would she let anyone make use of her. ‘I want to spend what bit of money I’ve got on buying meself some things I badly need. And I’m going out with Alec next week, anyway. He’s taking me to a dance, and when I’ve learned how to dance properly
I’ll be going to places like the Grafton or Rialto.’ She averted her eyes so she wouldn’t see her friend’s woebegone face. She wasn’t going to give in like she usually did, not this time. ‘The pictures are all right now and again, but not every week like we’ve been doing for the last two years. There’s got to be more to life than that.’

  ‘So we won’t be friends no more?’

  ‘Of course we’ll still be friends! I see yer every day in work, don’t I? And yer can always come dancing with me, if yer want to.’

  ‘Me mam won’t let me!’ Brenda wailed. ‘I know she won’t.’

  ‘I can’t help that, Brenda. All I know is that your mam can spoil your life, but I’m not going to let her spoil mine.’ Sadie let out a deep sigh. ‘Anyway, I’m going. I’ll see yer in work on Monday morning.’

  ‘You’re looking very smart in yer high heels,’ Harry said as they walked through the park gates. ‘They suit yer.’

  ‘Harry, they’re killing me. I’m not used to walking on me toes and I’ve got cramp.’ Sadie turned to grin at him. ‘I shouldn’t have put them on to go to the pictures, so it’s me own fault for wanting to swank.’

  There was nobody in their clearing; in fact, the park seemed unusually empty of grown-ups out for a walk, or older children playing. ‘Let’s have a good look at yer.’ Harry stood in front of her and feasted his eyes on her beauty. The blonde hair that framed her face was long and curly, her black eyebrows were perfectly arched and the long lashes fanning her cheeks were dark against her flawless complexion. Her nose was slightly turned up at the end and her lips were made for kissing. Her slim figure was perfect, and her legs long and shapely. ‘You are one very lovely girl, Sadie.’

  Sadie blushed. Alec’s compliments went over her head because she knew he’d say the same thing to every girl he went out with, but it was different with Harry because she knew he wasn’t just flirting, he really meant what he said. But she didn’t know how to answer him so she resorted to humour. ‘I’m a girl who’s got her heels dug in the grass, Harry. I’m two inches smaller than when we came in.’

  Harry laughed as he reached for her hands. ‘You’ll soon learn not to shy away from compliments, Sadie, because there’ll be plenty coming your way. But I’ll not embarrass yer, so tell me what your day’s been like.’

  ‘Work this morning, the market this afternoon and the flicks tonight. I didn’t enjoy work, the market was brilliant and Brenda spoiled the picture for me by acting like a child when I said our Saturday night dates were over. I thought she was goin’ to cry on me flippin’ shoulder.’

  Harry lifted one of her hands and pressed it to his lips. ‘What did yer do at the market that made it brilliant?’

  Sadie felt at ease with Harry, knowing in her heart he wasn’t with her because he wanted something from her. So she told him about some of the customers at the market and the laughs they’d had. Then she explained about the boys having no shoes, and how Mary Ann had helped her get three pairs for two shillings. ‘Our Jimmy and Les were over the moon, but me mam’s attitude made me mad. I mean, it’s up to her to clothe the kids, but she’s always saying she’s got no money. And yet when I spend all me pocket money to put shoes on their feet, she doesn’t even look at the shoes, never mind saying a thank you to me.’

  Harry listened, while at the back of his mind was the question – why does she have to be one of the Wilsons? If she was any other neighbour’s daughter he wouldn’t have to meet her on the quiet. He could call on her without the wrath of his mother coming down on his head. He knew now that his feelings for Sadie were not those of a friend; he was falling head over heels for her. And she was such a sweet girl. It wasn’t fair that she was paying for the sins of her parents. He sighed, thinking things would have to run their course. He loved his mother dearly and didn’t want to upset her, but the time might come when he would have to. That’s if Sadie felt the same way about him. She was still very young so there was time for the matter to resolve itself.

  ‘Anyway,’ Sadie was saying, ‘I’m goin’ me own way from now on. I’ve got a date next week to go to a dance, so that’s a start.’

  Harry felt his heart miss a beat. ‘Who’ve yer got a date with?’

  ‘A bloke in work. He’s one of these smarmy fellers, thinks because he’s nice-looking all the girls should throw themselves at him. But I’ve got him taped. He won’t get very far with me.’

  ‘Well, if yer think that about him, why date him?’

  ‘Because he can take me to a dance, that’s why! I can’t afford to buy me own clothes and pay to go anywhere, not on a shilling pocket money! I’m sixteen a week on Monday, Harry, and I haven’t got any of the things most girls my age have. No make-up, perfume, pretty clothes … nothing!’ If Sadie had known what was in Harry’s heart, she wouldn’t have carried on. But she thought of him as a good friend, someone who had been kind to her. ‘If I can get some bloke to take me out, I can spend what little money I’ve got on trying to make meself look presentable.’

  It was on the tip of Harry’s tongue to say he’d take her out – she didn’t need to date any bloke just because he’d pay for her. But he could hear his mother’s words echoing in his head. ‘If I see her trying to get pally with you, I’ll have something to say to her, believe me.’ And she’d do that, his mother, thinking she was saving him from a fate worse than death. He couldn’t take a chance on putting Sadie through that. But there was one thing for which he’d throw caution to the winds. ‘You haven’t forgotten I’m taking you to the pictures on yer birthday, have you? I got in before anyone else, remember?’

  ‘D’yer mean on the Monday?’

  ‘That’s the day yer birthday’s on, so yes!’

  Sadie looked pleased. She’d never been out on her birthday before. In fact, birthdays in the Wilsons’ house passed without an acknowledgement of any kind. No cards, no presents and certainly no party. ‘Yeah, I’d like that.’ Then she touched his arm. ‘Can I ask you to take me somewhere else, not the pictures?’

  ‘Of course you can. Where would you like to go?’

  ‘Over to New Brighton on a ferry boat.’ Her hands clasped together, her eyes alight with excitement, Harry thought she looked like a child hoping for a treat. ‘I’ve never been on a ferry boat.’

  Harry was taken aback. ‘Never been on a ferry boat? Never sailed across the Mersey?’

  Sadie shook her head. ‘No, never. It would be a lovely birthday present, Harry, but only if yer can afford it.’

  ‘I can afford it, Sadie. Me wages are not bad, and me mam doesn’t take that much off me.’ Harry’s mind was running away with him. He couldn’t call for her or meet her in the street, that would be asking for trouble. ‘We could go straight from work and spend an hour at the fairground.’

  ‘Ooh, that would be lovely.’ Sadie was so happy she cupped his face and kissed him. ‘Yer a nice bloke, Harry. You and Mary Ann are me very best friends.’

  ‘Aye, well, I don’t mind bein’ yer friend, but I don’t want a friend’s kiss. Come here, I want me tanner’s worth.’

  Sadie smiled. ‘Yer still want to pay me for letting yer kiss me?’

  Harry’s voice was gruff. ‘You told me yer’d spent all yer money, so how would yer buy yer pennyworth of chips all next week?’

  ‘I’d go without, Harry.’

  ‘Not while I’m around yer won’t. You’ll never be short if I’ve got anything to do with it.’

  ‘If you don’t kiss me and get off to see this girlfriend of yours, she’ll definitely give you the heave-ho.’

  Harry silenced her with his lips. Soft and light, not hard and bruising like Alec’s.

  Chapter Seven

  On the Friday night Sadie ate her sardines on toast without a murmur. She didn’t like sardines and Lily knew that, but tonight wasn’t the time for complaints. She was meeting Alec at Everton Valley and he was taking her to a dance, but as yet she hadn’t plucked up the courage to tell her mother. If they had cross words she’d be told
she couldn’t go, just for spite, and Sadie wasn’t taking any chances. The best thing to do was get ready first, and then ask permission in as humble a voice as she could muster.

  There was no mirror in the bedroom so Sadie had to make do without being able to see how she looked. From the neck down she was satisfied with what she could see of her appearance and she’d check her hair in the broken piece of mirror in the kitchen before she went out. That’s if she managed to get out. Her mother seemed to have it in for her these days and picked on her for the least thing.

  There was no handrail on the steep, narrow staircase – it had been used for firewood years ago. So Sadie put her hand on the wall as she stepped carefully down each stair, her high heels clicking loudly on the bare boards. When she reached the bottom, she stood for a moment before crossing her fingers for luck and taking a deep breath.

  The baby was in bed and the other children were out playing in the street, so that was a blessing. Her mother and father were sat next to each other at the cluttered table, reading the Echo between them.

  ‘Mam, I’m going to a dance tonight with a boy from work. Will it be all right if I’m a bit late coming in?’

  Lily looked up, and seeing her daughter took her back over the years. It was almost like looking at herself. She’d been as pretty as Sadie at her age – with the same colouring, same hair and same lovely figure. But the memory didn’t soften her heart because it reminded her of how much she’d let herself go. Not that she placed the blame at her own door. Oh no. In her twisted mind she blamed giving birth to the children for losing her looks and figure, particularly the girl facing her now – a constant reminder of how things used to be.

  When her mother didn’t answer, Sadie became bold and ventured, ‘Shall I take a key with me in case yer in bed?’