by Joan Jonker
‘Oh, Grandma!’ Sadie closed her eyes to relish that one word that made her feel part of a family. ‘Yer shouldn’t have said that to him – he’ll hate the sight of me before he’s even set eyes on me.’
‘No he won’t, sweetheart. He’s looking forward to yer comin’. He’ll be sittin’ at home now, in his rocking chair, puffing away at his old pipe and waitin’ for me to come back and tell him it’s all fixed up.’
‘I can’t wait to meet him.’ Sadie felt delirious with excitement and happiness. ‘I hope it won’t be too long before I can come to yer.’
‘Mary Ann said yer’ve got things to sort out first, girl, so have a little patience. Rome wasn’t built in a day, yer know.’
‘I don’t want to live in Rome, Grandma.’ There it was again, that feeling of belonging. ‘I want to live with you and Grandad.’
‘Yer’ve got a good friend in Mary Ann – she’ll help yer get yer affairs in order. And see if she’ll bring yer to the house one night, so yer can see it for yerself before yer make the break. Me home’s nothing posh, but it’s comfortable. And the spare bedroom’s not a bad size, except that it’s short of a bed at the moment.’
‘Grandma, I’ll sleep on the clothes-line if it comes to the push.’
‘It’ll never come to that, girl, not when I’ve got me old horse-hair couch.’ Sarah giggled. ‘Many’s the night I’ve slept on it to get away from my feller’s snores. Honest to God, he makes enough noise to wake the dead.’
‘I bet he’s lovely, just like you are, and I can’t wait to meet him.’ Sadie turned to see Mary Ann coping with several customers, all wanting to be served first. ‘I’d better give Mary Ann a hand, she’s rushed off her feet. I’ll see yer next week an’ let yer know how I’m getting on, but I am definitely coming to live with yer, so don’t you dare let the room to anyone else.’
‘No chance of that, girl. I’ve never had a lodger in me life, and I wouldn’t be havin’ one now if Mary Ann hadn’t told me you were lookin’ for somewhere.’
‘I’ll see yer next week, Grandma.’ Sadie leaned across and kissed her on each cheek. ‘That’s two for good luck. One for you and the other for your feller … me brand new grandad.’
It was five o’clock before Mary Ann had any time to spare for serious talking. Sadie was meeting Geoff at seven but she’d have to go straight from the market if it came to the push, because she’d never make that long walk home and then the longer walk to Everton Valley. And decisions about her future life were more important than worrying about what she looked like to go to the flicks or a dance.
Mary Ann kicked her shoe off and rubbed the sole of her foot. ‘Me feet are killing me and me bleedin’ corn’s giving me gyp. I’ll be glad to get home and steep them in a bucket of water.’
Sadie was busy gathering clothes together ready for closing the stall for the night. She turned and grinned at the pained expression on her friend’s face. ‘Yer not leaving here tonight, Mary Ann, until yer’ve sorted my life out! After all, I’m more important than your feet.’
‘Don’t start gettin’ cocky with me, girl, or I’ll throw this bleedin’ shoe at yer.’ But Mary Ann’s thoughts were kinder than her words. She’d never have got through the last couple of hours without Sadie’s help; it had been one of the busiest days she’d ever known. It was either that or she was getting older and couldn’t take the pace like she used to. Then she pulled a face and shook her head. No, I’m not admitting to getting older so it’s simply been a very busy day.
Mary Ann slipped her foot into her shoe and groaned at the pain from the corn on her little toe. ‘Now, girl, while we’re clearing this lot, let’s get you sorted at the same time. Now I understand how urgent it is that yer get out of that home of yours, and I’m happy in me mind about you and old Sarah, ’cos yer can tell by just lookin’ at the pair of yer that yer get on like a house on fire, I’ll get me thinkin’ cap on.’ She shook out a large sheet and laid it flat on the ground, and as she was talking she was throwing clothes onto the sheet. ‘D’yer have to give one week’s notice in, or two?’
‘I’m not sure. We work a week in hand, so I suppose it’s a week.’
‘Well, don’t give yer notice in until we work out how yer going to get a bed. Yer’ll have to buy it yerself ’cos old Sarah certainly can’t afford to.’
‘How much will it cost? The Saturday I leave, I’ll have me week in hand money as well as me wages, so I’ll be picking up sixteen and six. I’ll have all that money to meself because I won’t be goin’ home that day, I’ll be going straight to me Grandma’s.’
Mary Ann grinned. ‘That sounds nice, girl, and yer had a smile on yer face when yer said it.’ She stood at one end of the sheet and pointed to the other. ‘Pass that corner over to me, there’s a good girl, and when I knot these two corners yer can pass me the other.’ When the four corners were tied, the stall-holder heaved the heavy bundle to one side. ‘That’s one lot out of the way, now for another.’
Sadie had never before stayed late enough to see how Mary Ann cleared away and she was amazed that all the clothes were bundled up together. ‘Don’t yer keep the tuppenny with a hole separate from the thruppenny without a hole?’
‘Nah! I couldn’t be arsed with all that messing – I’d be here until bleedin’ midnight.’
Sadie thought Mary Ann was making more work for herself by doing that, but it was none of her business. ‘Back to the bed. I’ll have sixteen and six wages to come, and I’ve got five bob saved up now. That should be enough, shouldn’t it?’
‘Yer’ll not get a decent second-hand bed under thirty bob, girl, unless yer don’t mind the mattress bein’ full of stains.’
Sadie shivered. ‘Ugh, I couldn’t sleep on a dirty bed. The one I sleep on now is only a canvas camp bed, but at least no one’s ever slept in it but me so I know it’s clean. In fact, it’s probably the cleanest thing in our house. Me mam got it off the club woman that used to call every week and I remember the poor woman had a terrible time getting the money for it.’
‘This isn’t solving the problem of where yer gettin’ the money from for a bed, does it?’ Mary Ann had cleared one table and moved to another. ‘Another thing yer don’t seem to have taken into consideration is that yer’ll have to pay Sarah out of that money. She’ll need the money in advance to buy food for yer, and yer’ll need to have some in hand in case yer don’t get a job right away.’ Mary Ann knew she was dashing the girl’s hopes but it was best she knew what was ahead of her. ‘Even if yer did get one, and started the Monday after yer left this job, yer’d still have to work a week in hand.’
Sadie’s sigh was deep. ‘I’m not goin’ to make it, am I? I must be stupid not to have thought of all these things. I want me head testing, thinking it was going to be so easy, all plain sailing.’
‘Oh, come on, girl, don’t be bleedin’ lookin’ on the black side. Make up yer mind yer’ll do it and yer will do, even if it does take a bit longer. A few more weeks isn’t going to kill yer.’
‘I will do it, Mary Ann – I’m determined. I get sixpence a week off Harry, the boy next door, and sixpence a week off Geoff. That only brings me money up to two shillings a week, so I need to get more off them or find a couple more boyfriends.’
There was a look of concern on Mary Ann’s face. ‘You take money off boys? I hope yer don’t do anything yer shouldn’t be doing.’
‘Don’t worry about that; no boy will ever get off me what you’re thinking. I can give yer me solemn promise on that. Harry’s sixpence started off as a joke. He found me crying in the entry that day me dad lost all his money on the horses and I didn’t get me pocket money. He wanted to give me sixpence so I could meet Brenda, but I wouldn’t take it off him. So he offered to buy a kiss off me for the sixpence. I was desperate because I didn’t want to let me mate down, and I agreed. So for all these weeks Harry has given me sixpence and I’ve given him two kisses in return. Never once has he asked for more than those kisses, or has he tried to take
more.’
‘He must be sweet on yer to do that, girl. Sounds like a nice lad to me.’
‘Even if he was sweet on me, his mother most certainly isn’t. She’d do her nut if she thought her son was associating with one of the awful Wilsons. So apart from the one night, on me birthday, I’ve never been out with him. I meet him in the park, tell him me troubles, give him his kiss and that’s it. And Geoff’s sixpence is almost as innocent. I told him I had no money for the tram fare to meet him at Everton Valley, so he gave it to me. He asked why he couldn’t pick me up from home and I had to lie and say it was because me parents were difficult. He’d only have to see the outside of our house and I wouldn’t see his heels for dust.’ Sadie put her face close to her friend’s and locked eyes with her. ‘And every word of that is the truth, Mary Ann, I swear.’
Mary Ann was thinking that you learn something every day. This young girl had had to claw her way out of a cesspit and had come out with honour. ‘I believe yer, girl, and I admire yer for telling me all this. What I want to know now is, where does this Geoff fit into it? Are yer serious about him?’
Sadie gave a very definite shake of her head. ‘He’s a nice bloke, is Geoff, a real gentleman. But I don’t want to be serious with any boy. Me dad has put me off men for life.’
‘Oh, dear, what a terrible thing for a young girl to say. You just wait until the right one comes along and yer’ll soon change yer tune.’
‘I don’t want to, Mary Ann! I don’t want to get too close to anyone in case they turn out like me dad and I end up like me mam. Oh, I’ll go out with boys and I’ll use them to get enough money to move from a hell on earth to a nice home. But I won’t steal the money from them and I won’t lead them on to think they’re going to get something they’re not. I’ll be straight with them all along the line, so they have a choice.’
Mary Ann’s heart was heavy. The father and mother of this girl had a lot to answer for. And she hoped that some day they’d be made to pay for their sins.
Chapter Twelve
Sadie anchored a lock of hair behind her ear as she hurried down Everton Brow. She’d tidied herself up as best she could but she still felt grubby. It was amazing how dirty your hands could get handling money. Tony from the shoe stall brought water with him every day which he boiled on a primus stove to keep him going in cups of tea, and he’d given her the drop he had left so she could wipe her face over with a piece of rag. He said she looked good enough to him, so did Mary Ann, but Sadie wasn’t happy with her appearance. She wasn’t very happy thinking about her financial situation, either. At the rate she was saving now it would be months before she had enough for what she wanted, and the thought of those long months spent suffering verbal abuse from her parents and sister filled her with despair. She’d racked her brains thinking of ways to make money, but ended up none the wiser. The only two people who could help her were Harry and Geoff, and her mind balked at the idea of asking them for more than they were giving now. She had come up with several ideas on how to get money out of them but didn’t think she’d have the nerve to go through with it when it came to the push. They were two nice blokes who had been good to her and it wouldn’t be fair to play a dirty trick on them.
As Sadie neared Everton Valley her thoughts raced. She couldn’t bear to live at home much longer; she’d rather walk the streets. It was bad enough living in filth and having foul language bawled at you, but having to witness the blatant wickedness of her parents and sister was more than she could bear. They didn’t even try to hide what they were doing from her or the other children. In fact, Dot seemed to be proud of her new status, strutting around and lording it over everyone like an old married woman of forty, instead of a fourteen-year-old girl.
Sadie spotted Geoff leaning against the wall of the pub and waved. He would give her the money if she explained why she wanted it, same as Harry would. But how could she explain? How would she find the right words without feeling humiliated and ashamed?
‘Hello, love.’ Geoff wore a broad smile as he took her hand. ‘I was beginning to think I’d been stood up.’
‘I wouldn’t do that to yer. If I didn’t want to go out with yer at least I’d have the decency to come and tell yer.’
‘Yer face is red, have yer been running?’
Geoff didn’t hear Sadie sigh as she told herself that if she was going to lie then now was the time to start. ‘I went into town, window shopping, and didn’t realise how late it was. I’m sorry if yer’ve been waiting long.’
‘That’s all right, we’re only going to the Astoria so there’s no panic.’ Geoff cupped her elbow as they crossed the main road and when her high heel got caught in the tram lines he tightened his grip to save her from tripping up. ‘How you girls wear those blinkin’ high heels I’ll never know. It’s a wonder yer don’t fall and break yer neck.’
‘Oh, come on, now. Yer must admit a girl looks better in high heels than flat ones.’
‘You’d look nice in anything, Sadie – even a sack and a pair of clogs.’
‘I saw something in town today that I’d look nice in.’ Sadie was glad he wasn’t looking into her face to see the tell-tale blush. She was getting a dab hand at lying, but she didn’t like it. Still, this was a means to an end. ‘It was in Etam’s window and I must have stood for half-an-hour looking at it with me tongue hangin’ out.’
Geoff released his hold to reach into his pocket for money. ‘Oh, aye, what was it?’
Don’t look at me, Geoff, Sadie said silently, please don’t look at me. ‘It was a lovely pink underskirt with white lace around the bottom.’ It was the only thing she could think of that, if her scheme worked, he wouldn’t ask to see. ‘I went all dreamy just lookin’ at it.’
Geoff left her to go to the ticket kiosk, and when he came back he asked, ‘Why didn’t yer mug yerself?’
‘Mug meself on my money? It cost two and eleven!’
They entered the darkness of the picture house and followed the usherette’s torch to seats on the back row. When they were settled, Geoff whispered, ‘I’ll mug yer to it.’
‘Oh, I couldn’t let yer do that!’ I’m a hypocrite and I’ll never go to heaven when I die, Sadie was telling herself when a picture of old Sarah flashed before her eyes. She needed that old lady more than she’d ever needed anyone. Needed the warmth, love, respect and decency. ‘No, I couldn’t let yer do that.’
‘Don’t be daft. What’s wrong with a feller buying a present for his girlfriend?’
‘I haven’t known yer long enough to be yer girlfriend. Yer might get fed up with me in a week or two and yer’d have wasted yer money.’
‘I won’t get fed up with yer, Sadie. It’s more likely the other way around. Let me buy it for yer, go on – please?’
Sadie appeared to be considering. ‘I’ll borrow the money off yer and pay it back when I’ve saved it up. How about that?’
‘Will I heckerslike take money back off yer. What sort of a bloke d’yer think I am? Buy me girlfriend a present and then take the money off her! I may be many things, Sadie, but tight-fisted is not one of them.’
‘I know yer not tight, Geoff. I wouldn’t have said it if I’d known yer were going to be insulted. I’ll let yer buy me the underskirt with pleasure and I thank yer kindly, sir.’
With a smile of pleasure and a sigh of contentment, Geoff settled back in his seat and put his arm across Sadie’s shoulders. ‘You are my girl, aren’t yer, Sadie?’
‘Yer the only boyfriend I’ve got, Geoff, but I am only sixteen.’ Sadie might lie to him but she wasn’t going to lead him down the garden path as well. ‘I’m a bit young to be gettin’ too serious.’
‘I can wait.’ Geoff gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. ‘In a year and four months I’ll be out of me time and you’ll be seventeen and a half. That’s not too young to get serious, is it?’
Sadie said the only thing she could say. ‘No, that’s not too young, Geoff.’
And when they were saying good night,
there was more warmth than usual in Sadie’s kiss as she tried to make amends for her deception.
Harry was waiting by the park gates for Sadie on the Sunday night. ‘There’s a courting couple in our speck – let’s walk over to the other side.’
As they walked, arms straight by their sides, he glanced at her. ‘Did yer go out with that Geoff feller yesterday?’
Sadie nodded. ‘We went to the Astoria.’
‘I usually see yer going out on a Saturday night, but I didn’t see yer last night.’ Harry noticed an empty spot between the trees and walked her towards it. His jealousy was so strong it was like a knife being twisted in his heart. ‘Were yer out with him all day?’
Sadie shook her head. ‘No, I went into town on me own to get away from the house. I needed cheering up so I went window shopping.’ She tilted her head and pulled a face. ‘I should have known that would make me more miserable. Seeing nice things that I know I’ll never be able to afford.’
‘You will one day, Sadie, I know yer will.’ He was filled with hatred for the family who were not only destroying Sadie’s life but his as well. But for them there would be no need to hide in bushes for a stolen few minutes. He could have claimed her for his own, and this Geoff bloke wouldn’t be on the scene. With a sigh, he reached for her and put his hands on her waist. ‘Tell me what yer saw in town. Did yer go with yer mate, Brenda?’
‘Harry, I’m miserable enough without going out with Brenda. She’s being a real pain in the neck these days and I’m better off on me own. I just walked around TJ’s first, then wandered down to Church Street looking into every shop window.’ I should have gone in to be an actress, Sadie thought. I’m getting so good at telling lies I’ll be believing them meself soon. ‘I spent so long looking in Etam’s window it’s a wonder they didn’t come out and chase me.’
‘Why, what caught yer eye?’
‘A pink underskirt with white lace around the bottom. It was really beautiful and I fell in love with it.’