Sadie Was A Lady

by Joan Jonker

  The two of them burst out laughing before attacking the bundles with a vengeance to make up for the time spent jangling.

  Sadie stood with her hand gripping one of the bars of the school railings, the bundle of clothes at her feet. She’d heard the school bell go a short while ago and knew that any minute now, swarms of children would pour out of the doors screaming and shouting, rejoicing in their freedom from the fear of a rap on the knuckles with a ruler or, horror of horrors, three strokes of the cane. And if they went home and complained that they’d had the cane just for turning around in the middle of a lesson, they’d be told they must have deserved it and get a cuff on the ear for good measure.

  The double doors burst open and the stampede began. Sadie’s breath was coming in short gasps and her tummy was turning over as her eyes scanned the faces of the boys. There were so many she began to fear she’d miss her brother, and when the crowd petered out and he still hadn’t appeared, her heart sank. She’d either missed him or he wasn’t at school. She had almost given up hope when a lone figure emerged through the doors.

  ‘Jimmy!’ Sadie waved her hand through the railings. ‘Over here!’

  The boy stopped and screwed up his eyes as he tried to make out who was calling his name from the other side of the high railings. Then, when recognition dawned, his face broke into a smile and he dashed across the playground and through the gates. ‘Sadie!’

  Sadie held her arms wide and he ran into them. As they hugged each other, tears streamed down his face and for a brief second he felt ashamed in case any of the other boys in the class saw him. Then when he looked into his sister’s face and saw how happy she was to see him, he stopped worrying about being called a cissie. ‘Are yer coming home, our Sadie?’

  Sadie held him away from her. ‘Yer’ve shot up since I last saw yer. The way yer going on, yer’ll be head and shoulders over me soon.’

  Jimmy seemed to grow in stature at her words. But he wanted an answer to his question. ‘Are yer comin’ back home?’

  ‘No, Jimmy, I’m not ever going back home. But I’ve missed yer and I think about yer all the time.’ Sadie touched the bundle with her toe. ‘I’ve been saving up an’ I’ve brought some clothes for yer. There’s things there for you, some for Ellen, Les and the baby. So yer see, although I might not be there, yer always in me mind.’

  Jimmy looked crestfallen. ‘It’s terrible at home without yer. Me mam and dad do nothin’ but shout at us and our Dot’s a holy terror. Nobody smiles any more, not since you left. Won’t yer come home, our Sadie, please?’

  Sadie’s heart went out to him. His clothes were dirty and torn, he had no socks on and his shoes were falling off his feet. It was such a shame because he was a nice-looking boy and dressed decently would be a credit to anyone. ‘I’m sorry, Jimmy, but I couldn’t live in that house any more. And I’ll never live with me mam and dad again, nor our Dot. You know I had no life there. I was sixteen and didn’t have a friend because of them. I used to be ashamed walking down the street because of them. Frightened to have a boyfriend because of them. No, Jimmy, I couldn’t face living like that again.’

  ‘Where are yer livin’, our Sadie? Couldn’t I come and live with yer? I wouldn’t be no trouble, honest, I’d be as good as gold.’

  ‘I haven’t got a place of me own, Jimmy, I live with someone. And I’m not goin’ to tell yer where it is in case me dad belts it out of yer. But I promise yer this, and it goes for Ellen and Les, too, that as soon as I’m old enough to get a house of me own, I’ll have yer all to live with me. And that’s a promise.’

  ‘I’d like that, our Sadie, livin’ with you. We’d have a nice clean house, wouldn’t we, like Mrs Young next door.’

  Sadness wrapped around Sadie’s heart. ‘Yes, Jimmy, like Mrs Young.’

  ‘Her son stopped me one day – you know, the one called Harry. He asked me where yer’d got to, said he hadn’t seen yer around.’

  ‘And what did yer tell him?’

  ‘I couldn’t tell ’im nothin’, could I? I said we didn’t know where yer were, that yer’d just left home.’

  Sadie sighed. For a brief moment she thought of giving Jimmy a message to pass on to Harry, but she quickly dismissed the idea. ‘I had to be underhanded, Jimmy, otherwise I wouldn’t have got away with it. But tell me what happened on the Saturday I did leave. What did me mam and dad say?’

  ‘There was ructions! Me mam sent me down to the factory to see if yer were working late, but the place was closed. She was ranting about what she’d do to yer when yer got in, for leavin’ her without money. Then when it got to night-time she said she was goin’ to the police, but me dad wouldn’t let her. I’ll leave out the bad swearwords he used, our Sadie, ’cos they was terrible. He said, “Can’t yer get it through yer thick head that the so-and-so has left home, yer silly old cow?”.’

  ‘Are things still as bad, Jimmy?’

  ‘Well, our Dot’s had to go out to work.’

  Sadie gasped. ‘Go ’way! When was this?’

  ‘The week after yer left. There was murder over it. Our Dot was dead hard-faced with me mam, said she had no intention of findin’ a job and that was that. But me mam gave her the hidin’ of her life, belted her all around the room and said if she didn’t get out the next day and find herself a job she’d break her so-and-so neck.’

  Sadie’s eyes were wide. ‘What did me dad have to say about that?’

  ‘He agreed with me mam that they needed the money. So our Dot now works at that tobacco factory, and she hates it. She’s hard, is our Dot, as hard as nails. She goes out with fellers now an’ sometimes it’s turned twelve when she comes in.’

  ‘What about the others, Jimmy; Ellen, Les and the baby? Does me mam look after them proper?’

  Jimmy scraped the ground with the toe of his shoe. ‘Nah, the house is a tip and we don’t get fed proper. An’ yer can see by the state of me that she still doesn’t buy us anythin’ to wear, even though our Dot’s working. Me dad spends all the money down at the pub.’

  There were lots of questions Sadie would have liked to ask, but not of a ten-year-old boy. ‘Well, I’ve brought yer some decent clothes so yer’ll be all right for a few months. And yer can tell me mam I met yer outside school, but I wouldn’t say where I was living.’

  ‘I will see yer again, though, won’t I? I don’t half miss yer, Sadie.’

  ‘Yer’ll see me again, I promise. I can’t tell yer when, but I’ll be waiting here for yer one day when yer come out of school. But let it be our secret – don’t tell me mam in case she takes it into her head to keep watch on yer. Give our Ellen a big kiss from me and say I hope she likes the clothes. And our Les and Sally.’ Sadie pulled a face. ‘I bet I wouldn’t know the baby, she must be walking by now.’

  ‘Yeah, she’s into everythin’,’ Jimmy said proudly. He idolised his little sister. Many’s the clout he’d had off Dot because he’d stopped her from hitting the baby. ‘She looks like you, our Sadie. Me mam said she’s the spittin’ image of you when you was a baby.’

  ‘Oh, so me name does get mentioned in the house, does it?’

  Jimmy nodded. ‘Yeah, me and Ellen, and Les, we’re always talkin’ about yer. And the day me mam was givin’ our Dot that hiding, she told her that it should have been her what left home ’cos you’d make ten of her.’

  ‘She’s left it too late in the day to be thinkin’ that,’ Sadie said. ‘She can’t rub sixteen years away with a few words. But I haven’t let it ruin me life for me, I’ve got out and I’m learning what it’s like to be normal. To live in a house that’s clean, with people who love each other and don’t even raise their voices, never mind shouting and cursing. And I’ve made some good friends, Jimmy, real friends that are kind and who help yer when yer in trouble. When you’re older, you can do that, too. Don’t let me mam and dad ruin yer life like they tried to ruin mine. Just keep thinking ahead to when yer old enough to break away. I’ll be there for yer, I’ll always be there for you and the other
kids. Tell our Ellen and Les that for me, will yer? And tell them I love you all very much. I know Sally’s too young to understand, but will yer mention me name to her now and again, so she won’t forget me?’

  Jimmy looked down at the bundle. ‘Yer said there were some things in there for Sally, so I’ll tell her it was you what sent them. And every time she’s got somethin’ on that you sent, I’ll remind her they were a present from you.’

  Sadie sighed. ‘I’d better go, I only got an hour off work. But I feel heaps better now I’ve seen yer. I feel so proud of me handsome brother.’

  ‘Which way are yer goin’, Sadie? Are yer goin’ the same way as me?’

  Sadie shook her head. ‘No, I’m goin’ up to the main road to hop on a tram. Can yer manage that bundle all right?’

  ‘If you can manage it, then it should be easy-peasy for me.’ Jimmy moved from one foot to the other, feeling uncomfortable. Wanting to say so much but not knowing quite how to say it. ‘Thanks, our Sadie, for not forgetting us. I told our Ellen and Les that yer never would, not in a million years, but when the weeks went by I was beginnin’ to think we’d never see or hear from yer again.’

  Sadie held her arms wide again and he walked into them. ‘I love yer, Jimmy, yer big daft ha’porth! And when yer love someone, yer don’t forget them. I’ll be down to see yer again in a couple of weeks, I promise.’

  Words of love didn’t come easy to a boy who lived in a house where they were never used. But this beautiful sister of his had been the only one who had ever shown affection to him and the other children. She’d given them the love their mother wasn’t capable of. He couldn’t let her go without telling her. ‘We all love you, yer know, our Sadie.’ He was close to tears. ‘I don’t half wish we could live with yer, we’d be a real happy family then.’

  ‘So do I, Jimmy, so do I. And although it’s only a dream now, I’ll do my damnedest to make the dream come true.’ She kissed his cheek. If she didn’t get away right now she’d burst out crying. ‘I’ll see yer in a couple of weeks. Don’t forget to give my love to the others.’ With that she took to her heels and fled, leaving the young boy gazing at her retreating figure. He watched until she was out of sight, then, with a deep sigh, he picked up the heavy bundle. He didn’t often say his prayers, but from now on he’d say them every night to ask God to help Sadie find a way of making the dream come true.

  There was a look of anxiety on Mary Ann’s face. ‘Well, did yer see him, girl?’

  Sadie nodded. ‘I’ve cried all the way back, I couldn’t help it. The tram conductor asked me if I was all right and that made me cry even more.’ She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. ‘And d’yer know what? He wouldn’t take me fare off me.’

  ‘Go ’way! My God, girl, yer flamin’ face would get yer the parish! If I sat on the tram cryin’ me eyes out, the conductor would probably lend me his bleedin’ hankie! And he’d ask for it back when I was gettin’ off.’ The market woman was trying to cheer Sadie up and was relieved when she was rewarded with a faint smile. ‘Mind you, if he did, I’d blow me blinkin’ nose on it first an’ it would serve him right.’

  Sadie stretched out a hand to stroke the bright red hair. ‘I love you, Auntie Mary, I really do. Yer cheer me up when I’m down in the dumps, an’ yer shoulder is always there for me to cry on. I don’t know what I’d do without yer – I’d be completely lost.’

  ‘No yer wouldn’t, girl, ’cos yer a fighter. But I wouldn’t want yer to get on without me, not now. I’ve grown used to yer an’ we make a good team. An’ as I’ve told yer before, it cuts both ways. Or, as my feller would say, you scratch my back an’ I’ll scratch yours. If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t be the envy of every stall-holder in the market, not just for me superior-quality clothes stall, but also because of me young assistant looking like a bleedin’ film star!’ Mary Ann folded her hands across her tummy and nodded her head with a pleased and knowing look on her face. ‘Before you came to work here, girl, the only men who ever came to the stall were with their wives, or maybe every other Pancake Tuesday we’d get a bloke on his own, but that’s about it. Now, suddenly all the blokes workin’ the market are showin’ an interest in what their wives are wearing! Take Tony from over yonder – he’d never bought a thing off me before, but I bet his wife’s got enough superior-quality blouses and jumpers now to open her own bleedin’ shop. And the same goes for Andy and Bill and the rest of them. And the young ones that aren’t married, they’re buyin’ them for their mams! What the womenfolk think is anyone’s guess.’ Mary Ann’s green eyes twinkled as she gave a broad wink. ‘They’re probably wonderin’ what brought on this sudden rush of generosity but, like me, they know when they’re on to a good thing so they keep their traps shut.’

  ‘That was a very long speech, Auntie Mary,’ Sadie said. ‘And it’s done what yer wanted it to do, stop me from bawling me eyes out.’

  ‘Well, I mean, girl, yer’ve got to see it from my point of view. If you were to stand here sheddin’ yer tears over all the goods, it wouldn’t do me business any good, now would it? Like I keep sayin’ to Maggie when she gets herself all het up, it would be very inconsiderate of her to have a heart attack in front of my stall. Customers don’t like it, yer see, girl – it puts them off buying.’

  ‘Yer can knock it off now, Auntie Mary, I’ve decided to leave me crying until I’m in bed tonight. I can’t cry in peace when yer making me laugh all the time.’

  ‘That’s my girl.’ The stall-holder rubbed her hands together. ‘Now yer can tell me how yer got on with yer brother. Was he pleased to see yer?’

  ‘He was as pleased to see me as I was to see him. He said he thought I’d forgotten them and they’d never see me again. By them I mean Jimmy and our Ellen and Les. He gave me all the news from home, which wasn’t very much. The house is still filthy and he said there’s nothin’ but fighting and swearing. But there was one piece of news that surprised and pleased me; our Dot was made to go out and get a job. Jimmy said she hates it and that pleased me even more. It’s about time somebody put their foot down with her, she’s too cheeky by far. She’s just fifteen now, and our Jimmy said she goes out with boys and doesn’t get in until after twelve o’clock.’

  ‘Well, yer mam’s to blame for that. Fancy allowing your Dot to come in at that ungodly hour. When I was her age I had to be in by half-past nine or me da would be waitin’ behind the door for me with his belt in his hand.’

  ‘Huh! Me dad would never hit our Dot, she’s his blue-eyed favourite and gets away with murder. Me mam might hit her, but not me dad.’

  ‘Makin’ a rod for their own backs, they are. They’ll be lucky if she doesn’t bring trouble to their door, you mark my words.’ Mary Ann shook her head so vigorously a lock of her red hair came loose from the tortoiseshell comb and dropped to cover her eyes. ‘The best thing yer ever did was get out of that house, girl, and that’s a fact.’

  ‘Yeah, but I had to leave the other three behind, that’s what saddens me. Our Jimmy asked me to go back again and I felt really mean when I said I couldn’t. Then he asked if he could come and live with me, and that’s what made me cry. They shouldn’t have to live in those conditions, Auntie Mary, it’s just not fair.’

  ‘And it’s not fair that you should have the bleedin’ worry of them on your shoulders, neither. There’s not a thing yer can do about it, sunshine, only help them where yer can. Those clothes today are serving two purposes. They’ll rig them out so they look decent, and they’ll also remind them that yer haven’t forgotten them and yer love them enough to spend yer hard-earned money on them.’

  ‘I’m goin’ to make sure they have something for Christmas, too.’ Sadie’s chin was set with determination. ‘I know it’s a long way off yet, but it’ll give me time to save up. They’ll not have any more Christmases without new clothes or even a little present.’

  Mary Ann shook her head. ‘No presents under the tree?’

  ‘What tree, Auntie Mary? We didn’t even have a
fire in the grate. But me mam and dad didn’t feel the cold; they had a bottle of whisky to keep them warm and me dad had enough ciggies in to last over the holiday.’

  ‘It’s bloody unbelievable.’ Mary Ann ground the words out with anger. ‘I can’t make up me mind what I’d do to your parents if I could get me hands on them. Should I slit their throats, strangle them or have them hung, drawn and quartered? I sound real bloodthirsty, don’t I, and I’ve never been one for fighting – I’d walk away first. So what I would do is to shame them. Stand them in a cart with a placard round their necks and drive them through every street in Liverpool. That’s what they should do to all the people who are cruel to children. Show them up and let their neighbours know what they are so they can punish them every day by treating them like lepers.’

  ‘They’ll get paid back, Auntie Mary, God will punish them. I don’t care what happens to them, it’s just the three kids I’m concerned about. Well, four really, but the baby’s too young for me to cope with. I’ll do what yer said, keep in touch and take clothes to them. And for Christmas I’ll buy them games, ’cos if I bought them sweets our Dot would pinch them and I wouldn’t give her a drop of water if she was dying of thirst. I know it’s terrible to talk about me own sister like that when I’ve been taught to forgive them that trespass against us, but I’ll never forgive her for some of the things she’s done, never.’

  ‘Forget about her, sunshine, put her out of yer mind ’cos she’s not worth the space she’s taking up. Just concentrate on the other three – that’s more than enough for a young girl like you.’ Mary Ann tutted with frustration as she anchored the wayward lock of hair behind her ear. ‘Anyway, girl, I’ve got some news that should cheer yer up. Will yer promise to put a smile on yer face if I tell yer?’

  ‘Is it good news?’