“Yeah, I was hoping to continue with the organisation of them,” I respond slowly. Suddenly my palms are sweaty and I shift my weight from foot to foot. The way he’s looking at me is making me nervous.
“After all your hard work last week we were able to archive the files. They’re stored away securely now. So thank you for that.” His eyes narrow again and I shift my weight to the other foot.
“That’s.. That’s great, Doctor. I’m glad I could help.” I speak slowly, evenly. He stares at me for a few seconds more and nods his head, then spinning around and walking down the hallway towards his office.
I flop down in my chair with a sigh, staring up at the empty shelves behind me. He obviously wasn’t happy with me, but why? He’d originally praised me for my initiative and seemed enthusiastic about me improving the practice’s filing system, and now he seems so angry with me.
What if sending me to San Diego was just an excuse to get me away from the files? What if he wasn’t wanting to help me gain experience in the industry, but instead was just getting me out of his way so he could secure the files away from me? Where did he bring them?
I shake my head. This is insane. I’m getting ahead of myself. All this stuff with Victor is getting to me, and I’m seeing evil everywhere I go. Even so, the way he was looking at me was different. He was gauging my reaction, sizing me up. Trying to read me.
Does he trust me? Obviously not. Maybe he knows I’m onto him, he knows I’ve noticed the doubling up of management fees.
My heart suddenly drops. I need a letter from my employer saying I’m in good standing at work, guaranteeing my employment for me to get this loan. I’d planned to ask Dr. Yates for it today. It’s the only way I have of paying Victor back. And now if Dr. Yates doesn’t trust me, if he thinks I’m out to get him I’ve lost all hope of getting the money in time.
My heart beats faster and I feel the prickling of tears behind my eyes. I blink back the tears, not wanting to show my weakness at work, not wanting to invite any questions.
Why did I have to stick my nose where it didn’t belong! Why couldn’t I just mind my own business! Just come to work, answer the phone, book appointments. Work reception like I’m supposed to. Ask for a letter after a couple weeks. Instead I had to take on an extra project of my own, snooping through confidential files in my first week. Who do I think I am?!
A tear rolls down my cheek and I brush it away angrily. It’s too late now. All I can do is ask Dr. Yates for a letter. I’ll pretend I know nothing, I’ll forget I ever saw anything suspicious. I’ll work reception and do nothing more. Answer the phone, book appointments, do what they tell me to do. No more projects of my own. There’s still hope that he’ll trust me. I need him to trust me. It’s the only way to make sure I get the money and I keep myself and my friends out of trouble.
Chapter 34 - Elliot
I walk into the practice with a spring in my step. I can’t wait to see Emma’s smiling face at reception greeting me. For the first time in I don’t know how long, I’m actually looking forward to talking to a coworker.
I wonder what she’ll be wearing today. I hope it’s one of her dresses, the blue one she wore on her second day showed off her curvy figure to perfection. I push the door open with a smile on my face and look towards the reception desk, towards the woman I’ve had on my mind all weekend.
Instead of a smiling face I see her brushing a tear off her cheek. My heart drops and I rush forward.
“Emma, what’s wrong, are you ok?”
She looks up at me, surprised to see me. I see her take a deep breath and try to paint a neutral expression on her face, but I can tell that something is seriously wrong.
“Everything’s fine, thanks Elliot.” She forces a smile. “How was the rest of your weekend, how’s Gracie?”
“Gracie’s good. Are you sure you’re ok?” I come around the desk and kneel down. Eye to eye with Emma, I see her blink back more tears.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” she whispers. “Not right now.”
I nod. That’s something I understand. I stand up and put a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it gently. She puts her hand on top of mine and we stay there for a second.
“I’ll get you a coffee,” I say, not knowing what to do. She looks up at me with a smile that looks more like a grimace.
“Thanks,” she croaks, and turns her head away from me. I look at her for a few seconds more before turning towards the kitchen.
Is she upset at me? Did I do something wrong? Surely she would have told me? I shake my head. There must be something else going on. I start making a coffee and hear Stuart Yates’ slimey voice behind me.
“Good time in San Diego?” he asks in a low voice. I turn my head and see his beady little eyes staring back at me. I know that look. My heart sinks and I know that he’s the one that’s made Emma feel this way.
“It was very good. The speech went over well, I think.” I keep my voice steady.
Stuart nods at me without breaking eye contact. There’s an underlying threat in his look and I’m scrambling to think of what it could be about. I’ve worked out my past issues with him. I don’t owe him anything anymore, so why is he looking at me like I do?
“Good.” He turns around and walks out of the kitchen. What the fuck was that about? Is there some sort of power play that I don’t know about going on right now? What did Emma and I miss when we were on the other side of the country?
I walk back out to reception and hand Emma the steaming mug of black coffee. She accepts it with a smile.
“Thanks,” she says before taking a sip. “Sorry about that, you caught me at a bad time.”
“What did he say to you?” I ask. The anger is flooding my veins. I can feel it clouding my brain, like a shroud of red over all my thoughts. Emma’s eyebrow’s shoot up.
“Who?” she asks in a low voice.
“You know who. Yates.” She nods.
“I… It’s nothing. I can’t talk about it. I’ll tell you later.” She looks away from me and puts the coffee down, turning towards her computer. Her back is still, her eyes glued to the screen. Her shoulders look tense and there are lines on her forehead. The frustration builds inside me. I just want to help her! I hate seeing her like this, it’s like a dagger in my chest that keeps getting twisted back and forth inside me.
Finally I can’t take it anymore. I turn around and start walking away.
“Elliot, where are you going?” she calls out after me. I can hear the concern in her voice but I don’t care. This woman is special, and whether I like it or not she’s gotten under my skin. I care about her and no one can make her feel like that. Not even Stuart fucking Yates. I don’t care what history we have.
“I’m going to see what the fuck his problem is,” I growl without looking back. She says nothing and I keep walking.
Stuart’s office is just past mine down the hallway. My steps are heavy, and I can feel the anger building in my stomach. The hallway feels like a tunnel and all I can see is the doorway to his office. I don’t know what I’m going to say, what I’m going to ask. All I know is that I’m done tiptoeing around him.
Within seconds I’m at his door. I don’t bother knocking, I just turn the handle and walk in. He’s sitting at his desk, typing on his computer. He glances up calmly as I barrel through the door towards him. My fists make contact with his desk as I lean over it towards him. Our faces are inches apart and he’s looking at me with that steady, dark look.
“Elliot,” he says evenly. “I’ve been expecting you.”
Chapter 35 - Elliot
“What the fuck did you say to her?” I growl at him in a low voice. “Do you get off on making people feel like shit?”
Stuart folds his arms over his chest and leans back in his chair. He doesn’t seem the least bit worried or surprised at my outburst.
“I didn’t think you’d be the type to care about
how others felt, Elliot,” he counters. I can see him reading me like a book and I hate thinking he has the upper hand once again.
“Well I do. Unlike you, I actually have compassion and I don’t just pretend to be a decent person.”
“That’s a bold statement, coming from you.”
“Fuck you. What did you say to her.” My blood is boiling in my veins. I want to grab that grey mop on top of his head and smash his face against his desk. I want to throw him through the wall, make him hurt a hundred times more than Emma is hurting right now.
Stuart starts laughing and it only makes my rage intensify.
“Sounds like you got attached on that little romantic getaway last week. What, did you think I wouldn’t find out that you two got.. comfortable.. with each other?”
My eyes widen. How would he know that?! He must have had someone watching me, the snake.
“What do you want, Stuart.”
“I want that bitch to mind her own damn business and stop snooping through our files. Or did you not know that if this whole thing goes tits up, you’re the one that is going to take the fall?” His voice is filled with hatred, and he slings the words at me. I feel the spittle from his mouth hitting my face as he speaks.
My heart drops like a stone, and my anger dissipates. I feel like he’s reached through me and grabbed onto my throat and is slowly squeezing the life out of me. I may have thought our past was behind us but the look on Stuart’s face tells me it isn’t.
“What are you talking about?” I breathe. He laughs again.
“Did you think I’d let you off the hook so easily? You came to me seven years ago a broken man. You needed my help and I gave it to you.”
“You blackmailed me.” My blood is boiling.
“I did no such thing. If the medical board discovers you’re a gambling addict there’s nothing I can do about that.”
“I was never an addict,” I spit at him. “You know I was just scrambling for money for Chloe. I was desperate. I played poker with you, Stuart!” Stuart waves his hand lazily.
“Potato, potato,” he says, pronouncing both words exactly the same way. “The fact of the matter is that now you’re deep in this thing, and if anyone finds out, as far as I’m concerned you’re the only one who had any involvement.”
“What thing?! What are you talking about?” I spit at him. He laughs again, showing all his teeth.
“How do you think we settled your loan? You’re a money launderer, Elliot. Have been for seven years now. You’ve syphoned millions through the practice, did you know that’s a felony? And if anyone finds out, I’ll deny any knowledge. As far as I’m concerned you’ve acted completely independently.”
His beady eyes bore into me and I feel a shiver of disgust travel down my spine. The panic is rising in my throat. What have I done! I came to him for help when Chloe died. I was buried in medical bills, trying stupidly to pay them off with gambling. I thought I could play poker and get Chloe the treatment she needed without having my family go under. Well, I ended up further in debt and Chloe’s treatment still failed.
Stuart gave me a loan, and told me his accountant would settle it through the practice. Less tax for him, and he would waive the interest on the loan. Win-win, he said. Put the whole tragedy behind me, he said.
He set me up.
“You’re a bastard,” I growl. He smiles slowly, with his eyes staying dark and completely still. He doesn’t blink.
“Get out of my office or I’ll call the authorities myself. Looks like my brilliant new receptionist has just uncovered some fraudulent accounting.”
I turn around, breath coming out heavily from my nostrils. That fucking snake of a man. I stomp out the door and down the hall to my office, slamming the door behind me. I sink into my chair with my head in my hands.
Despair, panic, whatever you want to call it is overwhelming me. I feel hopeless. No one can know that I’ve done this, especially not Emma. How will I fix this! If anyone finds out, they’ll lock me up. They’ll take Gracie away. I’ll lose everything. The tears start prickling at my eyes but I blink them back. I need to figure something out. I need to find a way out of this.
One thing is for sure, until I do, I have to make sure Emma stays far away from this entire thing. The less she knows about Stuart, the less she knows about this whole mess the better.
Chapter 36 - Emma
Elliot rushed off down the hall towards Dr. Yates’ office. I couldn’t help myself, I inched down the hall after him. I could just barely hear their conversation through the door, mostly Dr. Yates’ higher pitched, bitter-sounding voice. Elliot’s low voice didn’t carry to where I was standing, crouched against the wall. All I know is that when I heard the words ‘gambling addict’ my heart sank to my stomach. I turned around and practically ran back to the reception desk, sitting down in a daze.
I think of my father and the pain that sears through me is like a red hot dagger to my heart. He hid it from me, from all of us. I had no idea he’d been moving in those circles. Victor’s face flashes in my head and I think of this mess I’m in.
Elliot is a gambling addict! Another one! Doesn’t he know it ruins lives?! My heart is thumping in my chest. I don’t know what to do. How can I look him in the eye when I know what he is?
I take a couple deep breaths to calm myself. What else did Dr. Yates say? He said he wanted me to stop snooping in their files. Or, ‘that bitch,’ which I assume is me. He said he helped Elliot seven years ago? My thoughts are a jumbled mess. I should never have looked through those files. I’ve got enough issues dealing with my own debts, I don’t need to be involving myself in a corrupt business.
All I know is that I don’t know Elliot at all. I know nothing about him. Up until a couple days ago I didn’t even know he was a father! And now I’m learning he’s a gambler?
I reach for my phone and look for Val’s name before I stop myself. I can’t involve her in any of this. What would I tell her? That I overheard some strange things? I saw some weird fees and now I know something is up? She’ll tell me to report it but that will ruin my chances of getting a loan and dealing with Victor.
No.
My best bet is just to keep quiet. Play dumb. As far as they’re concerned I don’t know anything, and it’s going to stay that way. At least until Victor is out of my life for good. Until that happens, I need to make Dr. Yates trust me again. I need to make him believe that I know nothing. It’s my only hope.
And Elliot… I sigh. My heart is being ripped in a million different directions. Just the thought of him, the thought of his face, his eyes, it makes me want to scream. It hasn’t felt this good to be with a man.. probably ever! and now I find out he’s a gambling addict?
But.. if I suddenly turn cold towards him he’ll know something is wrong, and all hope of coming out of this will be gone. I’ll have to explain why I was trying to organise the files, and then I might have to talk about the debts. All hope of keeping Val and everyone else I care about safe will be gone.
Still, I don’t want to turn cold towards him. I want to keep seeing him. I want to get to know him. I’m not ready to let go of this feeling that I get when I’m with him. I don’t know anything about him, but I’ve only known him for a couple weeks. I want to spend more time with him and find out more about his past, and his life now. Surely he doesn’t leave Gracie at home alone to go gamble?
There has to be more to this story.
My head is spinning. I can’t think straight. I’m missing something, but I don’t know what it is. Maybe I should have stayed, listened to the rest of their conversation. Now all I have is a few photos of some files on my phone and some fragments of a conversation I wasn’t supposed to hear.
I get up and start walking down the hallway towards Elliot’s office. I need to talk to him. As I get closer I pause mid-step. If Dr. Yates sees me going in there straight after they had that fight, he might suspect something is going on. They obviously
have some sort of history that I don’t want to get in the middle of.
Instead, I turn around and walk back to my desk. I’m going to have to wait this one out.
Chapter 37 - Elliot
My day goes by in a daze. I’m not sure if I should ignore Emma or go to her. Stuart has me backed into a corner. I should just tell her everything and be completely honest with her. I know I should, especially if I actually want to be with her. But how could I do that? If I tell her she could turn around and never speak to me again, or just turn me in and ruin my life. Who’s to say she would believe my side of the story? I’ve known her for two weeks, I can’t trust her with something like that.
The thought of losing her right when I discovered I might actually want her is tearing me up inside. The past few days have been the best I’ve had in years. I haven’t laughed or smiled that much since Chloe got sick. Being able to talk to someone, I mean really talk to someone is something I didn’t even know I was missing until right now.
I want to walk out of my office and march down the hall and scoop her up into my arms. I want to take her to my bed and stay there for days, only getting up to get some food. I want to feel her body, to touch her and taste her. I want to hear her laugh and see her smile.
But I’m glued to my chair. I can’t go anywhere. I’m paralyzed, stuck, frozen.
Think, think!
How can I get myself out of this?! It’s not just about me and what I want. It’s not about Emma. This is about Gracie. If I don’t do something, Gracie’s life will be affected. I need to be there for her, I need to take care of her. What I want doesn’t matter.
The thought passes through my mind and I know it’s the most important thing. Gracie is the most important thing in my life. I can’t let my own desires, my own selfish needs get in the way of what’s best for my daughter.
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