The Wallet of Kai Lung

by Ernest Bramah

  CHAPTER IX. THE ILL-REGULATED DESTINY OF KIN YEN, THE PICTURE-MAKER

  As recorded by himself before his sudden departure from Peking, owing to circumstances which are made plain in the following narrative.

  There are moments in the life of a person when the saying of the wiseNi-Hyu that "Misfortune comes to all men and to most women" is endowedwith double force. At such times the faithful child of the Sun is a preyto the whitest and most funereal thoughts, and even the inspiredwisdom of his illustrious ancestors seems more than doubtful, while thecontinued inactivity of the Sacred Dragon appears for the time to givecolour to the scoffs of the Western barbarian. A little while ago thesemisgivings would have found no resting-place in the bosom of the writer.Now, however--but the matter must be made clear from the beginning.

  The name of the despicable person who here sets forth his immature storyis Kin Yen, and he is a native of Kia-Lu in the Province of Che-Kiang.Having purchased from a very aged man the position of HereditaryInstructor in the Art of Drawing Birds and Flowers, he gave lessons inthese accomplishments until he had saved sufficient money to journeyto Peking. Here it was his presumptuous intention to learn the art ofdrawing figures in order that he might illustrate printed leaves ofa more distinguished class than those which would accept what truepoliteness compels him to call his exceedingly unsymmetrical picturesof birds and flowers. Accordingly, when the time arrived, he disposed ofhis Hereditary Instructorship, having first ascertained in the interestsof his pupils that his successor was a person of refined morals andgreat filial piety.

  Alas! it is well written, "The road to eminence lies through the cheapand exceedingly uninviting eating-houses." In spite of this person'sgreat economy, and of his having begged his way from Kia-Lu to Peking inthe guise of a pilgrim, journeying to burn incense in the sacred Templeof Truth near that city, when once within the latter place his taelsmelted away like the smile of a person of low class when he discoversthat the mandarin's stern words were not intended as a jest. Moreover,he found that the story-makers of Peking, receiving higher rewardsthan those at Kia-Lu, considered themselves bound to introduce livingcharacters into all their tales, and in consequence the very ornamentaldrawings of birds and flowers which he had entwined into a legendentitled "The Last Fight of the Heaven-sent Tcheng"--a story whichhad been entrusted to him for illustration as a test of his skill--wasreturned to him with a communication in which the writer revealed hisreal meaning by stating contrary facts. It therefore became necessarythat he should become competent in the art of drawing figures withoutdelay, and with this object he called at the picture-room of Tieng Lin,a person whose experience was so great that he could, without discomfortto himself, draw men and women of all classes, both good and bad. Whenthe person who is setting forth this narrative revealed to Tieng Lin theutmost amount of money he could afford to give for instruction in theart of drawing living figures, Tieng Lin's face became as overcast asthe sky immediately before the Great Rains, for in his ignorance ofthis incapable person's poverty he had treated him with equality andcourtesy, nor had he kept him waiting in the mean room on the plea thathe was at that moment closeted with the Sacred Emperor. However, uponreceiving an assurance that a rumour would be spread in which the numberof taels should be multiplied by ten, and that the sum itself should bebrought in advance, Tieng Lin promised to instruct this person in theart of drawing five characters, which, he said, would be sufficientto illustrate all stories except those by the most expensive andhighly-rewarded story-tellers--men who have become so proficient thatthey not infrequently introduce a score or more of living persons intotheir tales without confusion.

  After considerable deliberation, this unassuming person selected thefollowing characters, judging them to be the most useful, and the mostreadily applicable to all phases and situations of life:

  1. A bad person, wearing a long dark pigtail and smoking an opium pipe.His arms to be folded, and his clothes new and very expensive.

  2. A woman of low class. One who removes dust and useless things fromthe rooms of the over-fastidious and of those who have long nails; sheto be carrying her trade-signs.

  3. A person from Pe-ling, endowed with qualities which cause thebeholder to be amused. This character to be especially designed to gowith the short sayings which remove gravity.

  4. One who, having incurred the displeasure of the sublime Emperor, hasbeen decapitated in consequence.

  5. An ordinary person of no striking or distinguished appearance. Onewho can be safely introduced in all places and circumstances withoutgreat fear of detection.

  After many months spent in constant practice and in taking measurements,this unenviable person attained a very high degree of proficiency, andcould draw any of the five characters without hesitation. With renewedhope, therefore, he again approached those who sit in easy-chairs, andconcealing his identity (for they are stiff at bending, and when oncea picture-maker is classed as "of no good" he remains so to the end, inspite of change), he succeeded in getting entrusted with a story bythe elegant and refined Kyen Tal. This writer, as he remembered withdistrust, confines his distinguished efforts entirely to the doings ofsailors and of those connected with the sea, and this tale, indeed, hefound upon reading to be the narrative of how a Hang-Chow junk and itscrew, consisting mostly of aged persons, were beguiled out of theircourse by an exceedingly ill-disposed dragon, and wrecked upon an islandof naked barbarians. It was, therefore, with a somewhat heavy stomachthat this person set himself the task of arranging his five charactersas so to illustrate the words of the story.

  The sayings of the ancient philosopher Tai Loo are indeed very subtle,and the truth of his remark, "After being disturbed in one's dignity bya mandarin's foot it is no unusual occurrence to fall flat on theface in crossing a muddy street," was now apparent. Great as was thedisadvantage owing to the nature of the five characters, this became asnothing when it presently appeared that the avaricious and clay-souledTieng Lin, taking advantage of the blindness of this person'senthusiasm, had taught him the figures so that they all gazed in thesame direction. In consequence of this it would have been impossiblethat two should be placed as in the act of conversing together had notthe noble Kyen Tal been inspired to write that "his companions turnedfrom him in horror." This incident the ingenious person who is recordingthese facts made the subject of three separate drawings, and havingin one or two other places effected skilful changes in the writing, sosimilar in style to the strokes of the illustrious Kyen Tal as tobe undetectable, he found little difficulty in making use of all hischaracters. The risks of the future, however, were too great to be runwith impunity; therefore it was arranged, by means of money--for thisperson was fast becoming acquainted with the ways of Peking--that anemissary from one who sat in an easy-chair should call upon him for aconference, the narrative of which appeared in this form in the PekingPrinted Leaves of Thrice-distilled Truth:

  The brilliant and amiable young picture-maker Kin Yen, in spite of the immediate and universal success of his accomplished efforts, is still quite rotund in intellect, nor is he, if we may use a form of speaking affected by our friends across the Hoang Hai, "suffering from swollen feet." A person with no recognized position, but one who occasionally does inferior work of this nature for us, recently surprised Kin Yen without warning, and found him in his sumptuously appointed picture-room, busy with compasses and tracing-paper. About the place were scattered in elegant confusion several of his recent masterpieces. From the subsequent conversation we are in a position to make it known that in future this refined and versatile person will confine himself entirely to illustrations of processions, funerals, armies on the march, persons pursued by others, and kindred subjects which appeal strongly to his imagination. Kin Yen has severe emotions on the subject of individuality in art, and does not hesitate to express himself forcibly with reference to those who are content to degrade the names of their ancestors by turning out what he wittily describes as "so much of varied mediocrity."


  The prominence obtained by this pleasantly-composed notice--for it wascopied by others who were unaware of the circumstance of its origin--hadthe desired effect. In future, when one of those who sit in easy-chairswished for a picture after the kind mentioned, he would say to hislesser one: "Oh, send to the graceful and versatile Kin Yen; he becomesinspired on the subject of funerals," or persons escaping from prison,or families walking to the temple, or whatever it might be. In that waythis narrow-minded and illiterate person was soon both looked at andrich, so that it was his daily practice to be carried, in silk garments,past the houses of those who had known him in poverty, and on theseoccasions he would puff out his cheeks and pull his moustaches, lookingfiercely from side to side.

  True are the words written in the elegant and distinguished Book ofVerses: "Beware lest when being kissed by the all-seeing Emperor, youstep upon the elusive banana-peel." It was at the height of eminence inthis altogether degraded person's career that he encountered the beingwho led him on to his present altogether too lamentable condition.

  Tien Nung is the earthly name by which is known she who combines all themost illustrious attributes which have been possessed of women since thedays of the divine Fou-Hy. Her father is a person of very gross habits,and lives by selling inferior merchandise covered with some of goodquality. Upon past occasions, when under the direct influence of Tien,and in the hope of gaining some money benefit, this person may havespoken of him in terms of praise, and may even have recommended friendsto entrust articles of value to him, or to procure goods on his advice.Now, however, he records it as his unalterable decision that the fatherof Tien Nung is by profession a person who obtains goods by stratagem,and that, moreover, it is impossible to gain an advantage over him onmatters of exchange.

  The events that have happened prove the deep wisdom of Li Pen whenhe exclaimed "The whitest of pigeons, no matter how excellent in thesilk-hung chamber, is not to be followed on the field of battle." Tienherself was all that the most exacting of persons could demand, buther opinions on the subject of picture-making were not formed by heavythought, and it would have been well if this had been borne in mind bythis person. One morning he chanced to meet her while carrying open inhis hands four sets of printed leaves containing his pictures.

  "I have observed," said Tien, after the usual personal inquiries hadbeen exchanged, "that the renowned Kin Yen, who is the object of thekeenest envy among his brother picture-makers, so little regards thesacredness of his accomplished art that never by any chance does hedepict persons of the very highest excellence. Let not the words of animpetuous maiden disarrange his digestive organs if they should seemtoo bold to the high-souled Kin Yen, but this matter has, since she hasknown him, troubled the eyelids of Tien. Here," she continued, takingfrom this person's hand one of the printed leaves which he was carrying,"in this illustration of persons returning from extinguishing a fire,is there one who appears to possess those qualities which appeal toall that is intellectual and competitive within one? Can it be that theimmaculate Kin Yen is unacquainted with the subtle distinction betweenthe really select and the vastly ordinary? Ah, undiscriminating Kin Yen!are not the eyelashes of the person who is addressing you as threadsof fine gold to junk's cables when compared with those of the extremelycommonplace female who is here pictured in the art of carrying a bucket?Can the most refined lack of vanity hide from you the fact that your ownperson is infinitely rounder than this of the evilly-intentioned-lookingindividual with the opium pipe? O blind Kin Yen!"

  Here she fled in honourable confusion, leaving this person standing inthe street, astounded, and a prey to the most distinguished emotions ofa complicated nature.

  "Oh, Tien," he cried at length, "inspired by those bright eyes, narrowerthan the most select of the three thousand and one possessed by thesublime Buddha, the almost fallen Kin Yen will yet prove himself worthyof your esteemed consideration. He will, without delay, learn to drawtwo new living persons, and will incorporate in them the likenesseswhich you have suggested."

  Returning swiftly to his abode, he therefore inscribed and despatchedthis letter, in proof of his resolve:

  "To the Heaven-sent human chrysanthemum, in whose body reside theCelestial Principles and the imprisoned colours of the rainbow.

  "From the very offensive and self-opinionated picture-maker.

  "Henceforth this person will take no rest, nor eat any but the commonestfood, until he shall have carried out the wishes of his one Jade Star,she whose teeth he is not worthy to blacken.

  "When Kin Yen has been entrusted with a story which contains a being insome degree reflecting the character of Tien, he will embellish it withher irreproachable profile and come to hear her words. Till then he bidsher farewell."

  From that moment most of this person's time was necessarily spent inlearning to draw the two new characters, and in consequence of this helost much work, and, indeed, the greater part of the connexion whichhe had been at such pains to form gradually slipped away from him. Manymonths passed before he was competent to reproduce persons resemblingTien and himself, for in this he was unassisted by Tieng Lin, and hisprogress was slow.

  At length, being satisfied, he called upon the least fierce of thosewho sit in easy-chairs, and requested that he might be entrusted with astory for picture-making.

  "We should have been covered with honourable joy to set in operationthe brush of the inspired Kin Yen," replied the other with agreeablecondescension; "only at the moment, it does not chance that we havebefore us any stories in which funerals, or beggars being driven fromthe city, form the chief incidents. Perhaps if the polished Kin Yenshould happen to be passing this ill-constructed office in about sixmonths' time--"

  "The brush of Kin Yen will never again depict funerals, or labourersarranging themselves to receive pay or similar subjects," exclaimed thisperson impetuously, "for, as it is well said, 'The lightning discoversobjects which the paper-lantern fails to reveal.' In future nonebut tales dealing with the most distinguished persons shall have hisattention."

  "If this be the true word of the dignified Kin Yen, it is possible thatwe may be able to animate his inspired faculties," was the response."But in that case, as a new style must be in the nature of anexperiment, and as our public has come to regard Kin Yen as thegreat exponent of Art Facing in One Direction, we cannot continue theexceedingly liberal payment with which we have been accustomed to rewardhis elegant exertions."

  "Provided the story be suitable, that is a matter of less importance,"replied this person.

  "The story," said the one in the easy-chair, "is by the refinedTong-king, and it treats of the high-minded and conscientious doubtsof one who would become a priest of Fo. When preparing for thisdistinguished office he discovers within himself leanings towardsthe religion of Lao-Tse. His illustrious scruples are enhanced by hisaffection for Wu Ping, who now appears in the story."

  "And the ending?" inquired this person, for it was desirable that thetwo should marry happily.

  "The inimitable stories of Tong-king never have any real ending, andthis one, being in his most elevated style, has even less end thanmost of them. But the whole narrative is permeated with the odour ofjoss-sticks and honourable high-mindedness, and the two characters areboth of noble birth."

  As it might be some time before another story so suitable should beoffered, or one which would afford so good an opportunity of waftingincense to Tien, and of displaying her incomparable outline in dignifiedand magnanimous attitudes, this was eagerly accepted, and for the nextweek this obscure person spent all his days and nights in picturing thelovely Tien and his debased self in the characters of the nobly-bornyoung priest of Fo and Wu Ping. The pictures finished, he caused them tobe carefully conveyed to the office, and then, sitting down, spentmany hours in composing the following letter, to be sent to Tien,accompanying a copy of the printed leaves wherein the story and hisdrawing should appear:

  "When the light has for a period been hidden from a person, it isno uncommon thing for him t
o be struck blind on gazing at the sun;therefore, if the sublime Tien values the eyes of Kin Yen, let her hideherself behind a gauze screen on his approach.

  "The trembling words of Tien have sunk deep into the inside of Kin Yenand become part of his being. Never again can he depict persons of thequality and in the position he was wont to do.

  "With this he sends his latest efforts. In each case he conceives hisdrawings to be the pictures of the written words; in the noble Tien'scase it is undoubtedly so, in his own he aspires to it. Doubtless theunobtrusive Tien would make no claim to the character and manner ofbehaving of the one in the story, yet Kin Yen confidently asserts thatshe is to the other as the glove is to the hand, and he is filled withthe most intelligent delight at being able to exhibit her in her truerobes, by which she will be known to all who see her, in spite of herdignified protests. Kin Yen hopes; he will come this evening aftersunset."

  The week which passed between the finishing of the pictures and theappearance of the eminent printed leaves containing them was the longestin this near-sighted person's ill-spent life. But at length the dayarrived, and going with exceedingly mean haste to the place of sale, hepurchased a copy and sent it, together with the letter of his honourableintention, on which he had bestowed so much care, to Tien.

  Not till then did it occur to this inconsiderable one that theimpetuousness of his action was ill-judged; for might it not be that thepictures were evilly-printed, or that the delicate and fragrant wordspainting the character of the one who now bore the features of Tien hadundergone some change?

  To satisfy himself, scarce as taels had become with him, he purchasedanother copy.

  There are many exalted sayings of the wise and venerable Confuciousconstructed so as to be of service and consolation in moments of strongmental distress. These for the greater part recommend tranquillityof mind, a complete abnegation of the human passions and thelike behaviour. The person who is here endeavouring to bring thisbadly-constructed account of his dishonourable career to a closepondered these for some moments after twice glancing through the matterin the printed leaves, and then, finding the faculties of speech andmovement restored to him, procured a two-edged knife of distinguishedbrilliance and went forth to call upon the one who sits in aneasy-chair.

  "Behold," said the lesser one, insidiously stepping in between thisperson an the inner door, "my intellectual and all-knowing chief is nothere to-day. May his entirely insufficient substitute offer words ofcongratulation to the inspired Kin Yen on his effective and strikingpictures in this week's issue?"

  "His altogether insufficient substitute," answered this person, withdifficulty mastering his great rage, "may and shall offer words ofexplanation to the inspired Kin Yen, setting forth the reason of hispictures being used, not with the high-minded story of the elegantTong-king for which they were executed, but accompanying exceedinglybase, foolish, and ungrammatical words written by Klan-hi, the Pekingremover of gravity--words which will evermore brand the dew-like Tienas a person of light speech and no refinement"; and in his agony thisperson struck the lacquered table several times with his elegant knife.

  "O Kin Yen," exclaimed the lesser one, "this matter rests not here. Itis a thing beyond the sphere of the individual who is addressing you.All he can tell is that the graceful Tong-king withdrew his exceedinglytedious story for some reason at the final moment, and as your eminentdrawings had been paid for, my chief of the inner office decided to usethem with this story of Klan-hi. But surely it cannot be that there isaught in the story to displease your illustrious personality?"

  "Judge for yourself," this person said, "first understanding that thetwo immaculate characters figuring as the personages of the narrativeare exact copies of this dishonoured person himself and of the willowyTien, daughter of the vastly rich Pe-li-Chen, whom he was hopeful ofmarrying."

  Selecting one of the least offensive of the passages in the work, thisunhappy person read the following immature and inelegant words:

  "This well-satisfied writer of printed leaves had a highly-distinguishedtime last night. After Chow had departed to see about food, and the junkhad been fastened up at the lock of Kilung, on the Yang-tse-Kiang, heand the round-bodied Shang were journeying along the narrow path by theriver-side when the right leg of the graceful and popular person whois narrating these events disappeared into the river. Suffering noapprehension in the dark, but that the vanishing limb was the left legof Shang, this intelligent writer allowed his impassiveness to melt awayto an exaggerated degree; but at that moment the circumstance becameplain to the round-bodied Shang, who was in consequence very grosslyamused at the mishap and misapprehension of your good lord, the writer,at the same time pointing out the matter as it really was. Then itchanced that there came by one of the maidens who carry tea and jest forsmall sums of money to the sitters at the little tables with round whitetops, at which this remarkable person, the confidant of many mandarins,ever desirous of displaying his priceless power of removing gravity,said to her:

  "'How much of gladness, Ning-Ning? By the Sacred Serpent this is plainlyyour night out.'

  "Perceiving the true facts of the predicament of this commendablewriter, she replied:

  "'Suffer not your illustrious pigtail to be removed, venerable Wang; forin this maiden's estimation it is indeed your night in.'

  "There are times when this valued person wonders whether his methodof removing gravity be in reality very antique or quite new. On suchoccasions the world, with all its schools, and those who interfere inthe concerns of others, continues to revolve around him. The wondroussky-lanterns come out silently two by two like to the crystallized musicof stringed woods. Then, in the mystery of no-noise, his head becomesgreatly enlarged with celestial and highly-profound thoughts; hisgroping hand seems to touch matter which may be written out in hisimpressive style and sold to those who print leaves, and he goes home towrite out such."

  When this person looked up after reading, with tears of shame in hiseyes, he perceived that the lesser one had cautiously disappeared.Therefore, being unable to gain admittance to the inner office, hereturned to his home.

  Here the remark of the omniscient Tai Loo again fixes itself upon theattention. No sooner had this incapable person reached his house than hebecame aware that a parcel had arrived for him from the still adorableTien. Retiring to a distance from it, he opened the accompanying letterand read:

  "When a virtuous maiden has been made the victim of a heartless jest ora piece of coarse stupidity at a person's hands, it is no uncommon thingfor him to be struck blind on meeting her father. Therefore, if thedegraded and evil-minded Kin Yen values his eyes, ears, nose, pigtail,even his dishonourable breath, let him hide himself behind a fortifiedwall at Pe-li-Chen's approach.

  "With this Tien returns everything she has ever accepted from Kin Yen.She even includes the brace of puppies which she received anonymouslyabout a month ago, and which she did not eat, but kept for reasons ofher own--reasons entirely unconnected with the vapid and exceedinglyconceited Kin Yen."

  As though this letter, and the puppies of which this person now heardfor the first time, making him aware of the existence of a rival lover,were not enough, there almost immediately arrived a letter from Tien'sfather:

  "This person has taken the advice of those skilled in extorting money bymeans of law forms, and he finds that Kin Yen has been guilty of a graveand highly expensive act. This is increased by the fact that Tien hadconveyed his seemingly distinguished intentions to all her friends,before whom she now stands in an exceedingly ungraceful attitude. Themachinery for depriving Kin Yen of all the necessaries of existenceshall be put into operation at once."

  At this point, the person who is now concluding his obscure andcommonplace history, having spent his last piece of money on joss-sticksand incense-paper, and being convinced of the presence of the spirits ofhis ancestors, is inspired to make the following prophecies: That TiengLin, who imposed upon him in the matter of picture-making, shall cometo a sudden end, accompanie
d by great internal pains, after sufferingextreme poverty; that the one who sits in an easy-chair, together withhis lesser one and all who make stories for them, shall, while sailingto a rice feast during the Festival of Flowers, be precipitated into thewater and slowly devoured by sea monsters, Klan-hi in particular beingtortured in the process; that Pel-li-Chen, the father of Tien, shallbe seized with the dancing sickness when in the presence of the augustEmperor, and being in consequence suspected of treachery, shall, toprove the truth of his denials, be submitted to the tests of boilingtar, red-hot swords, and of being dropped from a great height on to theSacred Stone of Goodness and Badness, in each of which he shall fail toconvince his judges or to establish his innocence, to the amusement ofall beholders.

  These are the true words of Kin Yen, the picture-maker, who, havingunweighed his mind and exposed the avaricious villainy of certainpersons, is now retiring by night to a very select and hidden spot inthe Khingan Mountains.