November Rain

by daisy harris

  Elias shook his head. “No. He’s…” Part of him wanted to say white, though he knew if he did both Sara and Solomon would raise their voices like he was crazy and shallow for making that kind of distinction. “He’s just someone who works in my department. A lot of us are going. It’s something of a work party.”

  Sara nodded, apparently appeased, but Solomon narrowed his eyes. “When do you think you’ll be home?”

  “I don’t know if I’ll come home after.” Elias refused to make excuses on that front. He’d slept at Joe’s one night already and hadn’t felt any need to tell his brother where he’d been. After all the times Elias had covered for Solomon’s rule breaking when they were teens, Elias didn’t think he owed his brother any explanations.

  “Well, I’d rather know if you’d be coming in late.” Solomon glanced at his wife and switched back to English. “You could scare her. If you’re planning to stay out again, text me so we know to lock the doors.”

  Elias looked at the floor. His brother was right. He and Sara were kind enough to let Elias live in their house. The least Elias could do was not abuse their trust. “I suspect I’ll stay out for the night.”

  Solomon nodded. He didn’t ask where Elias would sleep, and Elias was glad. “Well, text to let us know your plans in the morning.”

  “Sure.” Elias had already grabbed his backpack. Perhaps bringing his sleep clothes was presumptuous, but Joe had said the wedding might go late. If that was the case, Elias wanted to go to Joe’s after.

  Elias gave Sara a smile on his way out. “See you tomorrow,” he told her in Amharic, adding a small wave.

  Lightly, she touched his arm. “Enjoy your friends.”

  As Elias hurried down the stairs, he wished he could have invited her. As strange as the wedding would be, and as much as the gay element would horrify her, she really needed to get out more. There would be food and music and people. More light than Solomon and Sara kept on in their apartment.

  The rain on his face was fresh and cool, and the sky looked brighter outside.

  Sara wanted to feel the sun on her cheeks, though, intense enough to warm her even with long sleeves and a headscarf. She’d never understood Elias’s admonition to try short sleeves. Her modesty wouldn’t allow it.

  He turned up his stereo in his car, listening to a rap station Joe had programmed. The drive to Joe’s apartment only took a few minutes. Joe stood in front, looking handsome in a sweater and dress shirt. He wore jeans underneath, making Elias feel overdressed. Elias was used to it, though. Working the sales floor, he usually dressed better than the customers.

  “Took you long enough.” Joe smiled as he got into the car. “You need directions?”

  “No. I looked it up on GPS.” Elias turned down the stereo so they could talk as they drove.

  “So.” Joe rubbed Elias’s hand. “I never asked where you live. Around here, I guess.”

  “Yeah.” Elias didn’t want to talk about his home life with Joe. Someone like him couldn’t understand how taboo homosexuality was in African culture. “I’m over by Garfield High School.”

  “Oh.” Joe pressed his lips together as if he got the sense Elias didn’t want any more questions.

  “Did you live with Dan in Capitol Hill?” Elias reciprocated.

  “No.” Joe frowned. “Queen Anne.”

  Elias was at a loss as to what to say next. The things he wanted to know, he wasn’t sure he could get the answer to. Like whether Joe had loved Dan very much. “I’m sorry things didn’t work out with you. You said you were together ten years? You must have been young when you met.”

  “We were. Twenty-eight and twenty-six. Too young to be getting so serious.” He leaned back in his seat, his voice quiet and his expression flat. “But it was always an open thing with us. Even in the beginning. We figured that way no one would get hurt.”

  Elias wasn’t sure what that meant. “Open? How?”

  “Oh, you know. At first just hand jobs or blowjobs with other guys.”

  Elias’s breath came quicker, and he hoped Joe didn’t notice. As much as he liked Joe, Elias would never be able to share.

  “Yeah, but after a while, we decided it was cool to have full-on sex with other people. Honestly, that’s when we should have called it quits. But we’d already moved in together…”

  The hotel appeared in front of them, at the bottom of the hill by the water, but Elias didn’t want to end the conversation. He drove into the semicircle in front, glad there were cars ahead at the valet stand. “Why? If you loved each other, why would you want that?”

  “I dunno.” Joe’s eyes clouded over. “Sometimes a guy wants to get his nut off. A warm body, a wet mouth… It’s just sex, kid.”

  Elias hoped his judgment wasn’t written all over his face. “I suppose.” He pulled to the spot where parking attendants took keys, and climbed out.

  “We’re looking for the Alcott-Schneider event?” Joe asked the valet directions and led the way through the door. It was only when they were inside the lush front entryway, with its modern fireplace and blown glass and elaborate rugs, that Joe touched Elias’s hand.

  “Listen.” His eyes were steady but calm. “We only hooked up the other night, and you don’t know me well, but—”

  “I can’t do that.” Elias respected Joe. And Elias might not know much about gay sex or relationships, but he knew himself. He couldn’t continue to be physical with Joe if they were going to be “open” the way Joe had been with his ex.

  “Can’t do what?” Joe laughed, but it was nervous.

  “I can’t share.” Elias didn’t know if that was the right way to express it, but he figured Joe got the message clearly. “I like you. But that’s not something I could do.”

  Joe nodded, his eyes calculating. “Okay. Thanks for letting me know.”

  Elias couldn’t tell if Joe was angry, but if there was more Joe wanted to say, he didn’t have the opportunity. Some men Joe knew came down the hallway, waving.

  “Steve, Chris, this is Elias.”

  Elias wasn’t sure what message these men would get. That Elias was Joe’s lover? Boyfriend? Simply a warm and willing body? The last option was too painful to consider.

  He shook the men’s hands. Without having to think about it, Elias firmed his grip so Joe’s friends knew he was strong enough to defend what was his.

  Joe tried to keep up with Steve and Chris’s conversation, though all his attention was on Elias. Guys didn’t ask to be monogamous after a single hook-up, did they? At least not the guys Joe knew.

  Steve and Chris quieted on the elevator. As soon as the doors opened, Chris spotted some other friends, and Steve followed him through to the reception area.

  “So. You’re serious?” Joe took Elias’s hand and tugged him to a stop.

  “Of course I’m serious.” Elias’s gaze was perfectly steady.

  Joe respected Elias for standing his ground. Even if Joe were able-bodied, he’d still be willing to give Elias his full attention for a while.

  “Hey. Come over here.” He tugged Elias closer.

  “Why?” Elias’s gaze was teasing.

  “You know why.” Joe pressed a kiss to Elias’s cheek. “You’re pretty cool, you know that?” Maybe that was an admission it was too early to make, but Joe didn’t mind saying it. Elias might have been naïve, but he wasn’t a doormat. Joe had known enough guys in their early twenties to tell the difference.

  In Joe’s ear, Elias whispered, “You’re cool too.” The sound of it was husky and hot.

  In the background, a quiet orchestral number pumped from a sound system.

  “Should we go inside?” Elias tipped his head in the direction all the other men were walking.

  “Yeah.” Joe looked around the room. Most of the guys at the wedding were coupled up, and Joe was glad he’d brought a guest. More than t
hat, he was glad he’d brought Elias.

  “Let’s go inside, honey.” He tugged at Elias’s hand then grabbed the handholds of his crutches to stride as best he could.

  Chapter Nine

  The officiant leading the wedding was female, and she read passages that brought tears to Elias’s eyes. Guests stood to share poems or songs. Through it all, Joe held Elias’s hand, his thumb stroking over Elias’s knuckles.

  The ceremony ended with the grooms kissing—in front of everyone, even their parents. Elias kept looking back and forth to the families, checking for some sign of outrage or disgust. All he saw were happy faces.

  Music played, and the grooms walked hand in hand down the aisle. Joe leaned in to Elias’s ear. “Let’s go. I’m fucking starving.” The roughness in Joe’s voice said that he’d been more affected by the ceremony than he tried to appear.

  Elias smiled. “Sure.” He stepped into the aisle ahead of Joe, appreciating how the wedding attendants hung back to allow Joe room to maneuver on his crutches.

  In the reception area, vases overflowed with lilies, and the pedestals were wrapped in green and white ribbon. Walls in tones of emerald and moss blended beautifully against the gray sky outside.

  Joe went to the washroom, leaving Elias alone to marvel at the view. Waiters so handsome they must have been handpicked carried trays of champagne, and from every corner came the sound of laughter.

  Most days, Elias thought Nordstrom was the pinnacle of the American dream, but not today. This event—this wedding—was everything. Freedom and prosperity and even love and friendship all wrapped up together, and Elias couldn’t have been happier that Joe had invited him to come.

  Elias overheard a thread of conversation in Amharic, rougher and yet more melodic than the English around him. He glanced to where some men were half-hidden by a banquet table and unloading bottles of water.

  Neither of the men noticed Elias standing there, and Elias looked away before they saw him staring, but Elias was curious to hear their reaction to the event.

  “Why did you agree to work, then?”

  “You know how Helen is—can’t say anything about homos in front of her or you’d get fired.”

  The other man nodded. “I know. Can you believe this?”

  The first man curled his lip. “Disgusting.”

  A cold sweat spread under Elias’s clothes, and his heart raced with the same fear he’d had as a child when he knew his father had found out Elias had done something wrong.

  Scanning the room, Elias searched for Joe. He wove through the masses of smiling men, pretending he didn’t feel kicked in the stomach. It wasn’t until Elias was at the edge of the room that he caught his breath and fought back his panic.

  Joe didn’t see Elias anywhere, but he spotted Dan behind a buffet table with a member of the banquet staff.

  “That’ll be great, thanks,” Dan said to the girl, sounding like he was dismissing her. “Just as long as people aren’t distracted by the desserts.”

  The girl nodded and then scurried away, leaving Dan standing at the edge of the party.

  “Hey.” Joe stepped forward. “I know it’s gonna get busy once everyone sits down. So if I miss you later, congrats.” Here, with old friends around them, it was hard to still be pissed off at Dan for their breakup.

  “You’re not leaving, are you? Though I understand if you have to. I’m so sorry about what happened with your leg.” Maybe it was the emotion swirling around from the ceremony, but Dan seemed genuinely sympathetic.

  Joe almost wished Dan wasn’t wearing such a kind smile. It reminded him of times when things had been good.

  “Nah, I’m okay.” Joe’d loaded up on ibuprofen and stronger drugs that morning. “I’m not up for any dancing, though.” He gave a chuckle. The good thing about prescription-strength painkillers was that they made him not give a shit about the things he couldn’t do. “So long as Elias doesn’t wear me out too bad…” He was bragging but didn’t care.

  The awestruck way Elias looked at Joe made things so easy. Joe didn’t have to worry about what to do or what to say. Elias expected Joe to take the lead, and that was cool. At thirty-six, Joe knew how to top just fine. The emotional part…well, that Joe could fall into like a featherbed.

  “Yeah. I was going to ask you about him.” Dan’s gaze darted around the room.

  “Pretty cute, huh?” After the way Dan had kicked Joe out, he deserved to gloat.

  “I guess.” Dan frowned, his expression pissy enough to be petulant. “But he seems to have moved in pretty fast.”

  “You may not have noticed for a while, but I’m a decent-looking guy.”

  “I’m just wondering what you really know about him.”

  “I met the kid a week ago. What do you expect me to know about him? He’s nice. I didn’t ask for a resume.”

  “He was there when I came over the other day.”

  “So were you. Maybe you’re the one who’s moving in.” A waiter came by with a tray of champagne, and Joe grabbed a flute.

  “Jeez.” Dan took a glass for himself, drinking it with a hand on his hip. “You don’t have to be so defensive. I’m just telling you to be careful. You hardly know the guy. Where did you meet?”

  Tired of standing entirely on crutches, Joe leaned against a nearby table. “Elias was at Nordstrom when I got shot.”

  “Fair enough.” Dan eyeballed him, assessing. “So how old is he?”

  “Old enough.” Joe hadn’t thought to ask, mostly because he didn’t want to know the answer. “Want me to text you when I find out?”

  “No need.” The angle of Dan’s chin said he thought he’d scored a point. “And where does he live?”

  “The Central District.” At least Joe knew that much.

  “Well, what’s his story? Who are his friends? What religion is he?”

  Joe gleaned Dan’s meaning in a lightning flash of annoyance. Dan was suspicious because of Elias’s ethnicity. “Who cares about his religion?”

  “Calm down. I didn’t mean it that way.” Dan itched his nose. He better never play poker, since he couldn’t lie for shit.

  “You meant it exactly that way, Dan. I know how your mom is—watching those conspiracy-theory programs all the time—but not all brown people are connected to some militant group.”

  Dan pressed his lips together. Maybe he was ashamed of bringing it up, but Joe couldn’t feel sorry for him. Dan didn’t know Elias, had never had a conversation with him. How in the hell could he form any kind of opinion?

  “All I’m saying is, you just met this guy. Maybe between the shooting and everything else, you feel like you have to rush—”

  “What religion am I, Dan?” Joe wasn’t going to let this go until Dan saw what he was doing.

  “Atheist.” Dan sucked his head back like he’d seen something disturbing. “Right?”

  “I was raised Episcopalian, and I’m sure I’ve told you that. But in the ten years we were together, I can’t remember you caring one way or another what church my parents went to.” Joe had to catch his breath because it was coming out in huffs of righteous rage. He wanted to get in his car and drive. Find Elias and protect him from assholes like Dan who’d think bad things about him based on how he looked.

  “Okay, fine.” Dan glanced past Joe’s shoulder, trying to get out of the conversation. “But this whole thing is suspicious.”

  “No, Dan.” Joe buried his annoyance in another swallow of champagne. “You are being suspicious. And you have absolutely no reason to be.” He turned to leave. “Anyway, congrats on your wedding. Hope things go better for you this time around.”

  Joe hobbled away. He shouldn’t have come to this stupid wedding. Worse, he shouldn’t have dragged Elias to a place where people might judge him without knowing the first thing about him.

  Across the room, he spotted Elia
s. Handsome as he was in his designer duds, Elias seemed about as comfortable as a giraffe on roller skates.

  Good thing, because Joe didn’t feel much better. “Hey.” Joe caught up to him. “How you holding up?”

  “I’m okay.” Elias seemed to have lost his smile since the ceremony.

  “My leg is bothering me more than I thought it would.” Joe threw the comment out in an offhand manner. He didn’t want to make Elias leave if he wanted to stay for the party.

  Elias smiled, his cheeks lifting along with his chest. “I’m sorry to hear that.” He didn’t look sorry at all. “Would you like to go home?”

  “Yeah.” Joe breathed out a sigh of relief. Fuck these assholes. And even fuck himself for caring what Dan thought. “Let’s go.”

  Chapter Ten

  “Do you live with your folks still?” Yeah, real smooth. Joe was glad he had a mouthful of takeout to hide his wince. Now that Dan had planted insecurities in Joe’s head, he felt like every question he asked sounded like an interrogation.

  “No.” Elias pulled a leg up under himself, settling more deeply on Joe’s couch.

  Windows lined Joe’s apartment, showing a night that was dark and drizzling…the usual. But with beer and Thai food and a handsome man on his couch, Joe didn’t mind that it was pitch black so early. He just wished he could erase Dan’s prejudices from his mind.

  “That’s nice.” Every word Joe said, his mind flashed Racist! He felt like he didn’t even know himself, much less Elias. “So, um…does your family live around here?”

  Elias tensed, and when he swallowed, it seemed like he had a hard time choking down his food. “My brother and his wife do.” His words were so careful that Joe felt like an idiot for prying. Only he didn’t know if he was prying or whether these were normal questions. “My parents lived here until I was in college,” Elias continued. “But they had to go back to Africa to take care of my grandmother.”

  “I’m from Issaquah.” Joe covered his awkwardness. “But my folks moved to Las Vegas a few years ago when my dad retired.” For some reason, Elias looked stricken, so Joe tried to be funny. “I guess retirement and the desert go together, huh?”