Breathe

by Jessica Phoenix

  She lent me a sleeveless, short, burgundy dress. The velvet material is soft to the touch and quite comfortable. The bottom flows and swishes when I move. I paired it with a pair of black studded ankle boots and an opera length necklace. We smoked out my eye shadow with mauve and browns. Then framed my eyes with black winged liner. The rest of my makeup is subtle. My nude lip gloss finished the look perfectly.

  “Thank you, Trish,” I say shyly.

  “Don’t be modest girl. Own it. Where’s that hunk taking you anyway?”

  “I’m not sure.”

  I hear the door ring out alerting us of a new arrival. My heartbeat starts to pick up before I even turn around, so I know it’s him. I can almost sense him. It’s so weird.

  When I finally lay eyes on him, all the oxygen leaves my lungs.

  Breathe girl.

  I usually only have to remind myself to breathe when I’m upset or having a panic attack. But ever since meeting Nathan, I’ve had to remind myself numerous times. He’s too breathtakingly gorgeous.

  He’s wearing an untucked black dress shirt and dark denim jeans. Simple. Sexy.

  His eyes widen when they take in my attire.

  “Gia. You look…damn.”

  “Is that a good thing?” I giggle.

  I have got to stop doing that.

  “You look gorgeous,” he says with a small smile.

  “You two kids have fun, you hear?” Trish tells us.

  “Thanks, Trish. See you tomorrow,” I tell her, barely able to take my eyes off my date.

  We wave goodbye to Trish and Ken; then we’re off.

  Nathan is a perfect gentleman. He opened my doors and pulled out my chair for me. It’s definitely new to me; feeling special I mean.

  He brought me to Canoe, an upscale restaurant located off the banks of the Chattahoochee River. The serene atmosphere is perfect to help calm my nerves. I’ve never been somewhere this nice.

  I’m super nervous. I still don’t know what made me finally tell Nathan yes. It was like it was painful to keep saying no. I decided to push those thoughts aside for now and just see where tonight goes.

  “This is a nice place. Have you been here before?” I ask, wondering if this is something he does with all his dates.

  “No. This is actually my first time here. A friend of mine I work with suggested it,” he says with his charming smile.

  “What is it exactly that you do?” I ask shakily. My nerves are starting to get the best of me.

  “I own a security firm. It does pretty well. I’ve been in business for a couple of years now. Before that, I had my own PI firm,” he reveals.

  “Like a private investigator?”

  “That would be what PI stands for, yes,” he teases.

  “Alright smart ass.”

  He laughs. “So what are you studying?”

  I look at him quizzically. “The other night, you said you had a class,” he says answering my silent question.

  “Oh. Yeah. Well, I am studying to get my high school diploma. I’m a…I’m a high school dropout. Hence my glamorous career as a waitress,” I say a little shamefully.

  “Well, you’re doing something about it now. That’s incredible. You should be proud of yourself,” He offers kindly. I smile in appreciation.

  “When do you finish?”

  “In a few months. Quinn’s super excited about it, but I don’t know how I feel yet.”

  “Quinn?”

  “Oh. My girlfriend,” I wink at him.

  “Yeah okay,” he laughs. He pulls his bottom lip between his teeth and my eyes follow the movement.

  I really want to suck on that bottom lip.

  “So what do you want to do when you get your diploma,” he asks bringing me out of my little daydream.

  “Ugh. I was afraid you were going to ask me that,” I grumble, picking up my glass of red wine and taking a small sip.

  “Why is that?”

  “Because I don’t know what I want to do,” I sigh.

  “You’ll figure it out,” he says reaching across the table to grasp my free hand. “Just remember, if you don’t live for something, you’ll die for nothing. Whatever you choose, make sure you love it, and that it means something to you.”

  At that, I smile and nod my head. “Thank you. I’ll remember that.”

  He smiles sweetly in return making me blush a little.

  “So. You from Atlanta?” I ask, wanting to shift the conversation off of my lack of direction and life goals.

  “Yeah. I’ve been here all my life. My parents moved down to Monticello a few years back though. How about you? Where you from?”

  I debate whether I should tell him the truth or not, but there’s really no point lying. I’m an adult, so I don’t have to hide anymore. Even though I have no plans to reveal anything about my tortured past, I still don’t want to lie to Nathan.

  “I’m originally from West Virginia,” I simply say. He shakes his head.

  “What?” I ask, taking another sip of my wine.

  “I wouldn’t have guessed West Virginia,” He kids. At least, I think he’s kidding.

  “Where would you have guessed then?”

  “Not West Virginia.”

  “What do people from West Virginia usually look like?” I inquire. He just shrugs in response.

  “Have you ever been to West Virginia?” I ask.

  “No,” he laughs “but you clearly left for a reason,” he jokes, not realizing the weight of his words. He goes on to ask, “You got any family back home?”

  I look him directly in his eyes before answering, “No.”

  I mean that wholeheartedly. There’s not one person in that place I ever want to see again.

  “You want to talk about it,” Nathan asks, undoubtedly sensing my sudden discomfort.

  I don’t want to speak about it though. I shake my head “no,” and he thankfully accepts that.

  We order a couple more glasses of wine and lighten the conversation a bit. I learn his dad is a retired detective. That’s how he ended up becoming a private investigator. He wanted to be like his dad but didn’t want to join the force. His mother was a homemaker. He has a younger sister named Kate, who’s my age. She’s a school teacher, married with a kid living in Alpharetta.

  “I really can’t complain. I had a great childhood. Somedays, I wish I could rewind time. Things are much simpler as a kid you know?”

  “Wish I could say I did,” I whisper. The air becomes stuffy, and I start tugging at the collar of my dress. I hate thinking of my childhood. That’s why I rarely let my mind go back there. I don’t talk about it, and I don’t think about.

  “Hey, you okay?” he asks with genuine concern.

  “Yeah. I…I just need some air. I’m going to step outside if that’s okay,” I say, getting up from the table.

  “Go ahead. I’ll settle the bill and meet you out there.”

  I nod in agreeance and make a beeline for the exit. Once the cool air hits me, I inhale deeply allowing my lungs to expand fully. I breathe in and out. Slowly. Deeply. The fresh air calms me, and I’m able to compose myself before Nathan joins me.

  “Hey. Are you okay? I’m sorry if I said something to upset you.”

  “No, you didn’t. You’ve been wonderful. I just needed some fresh air, that’s all. I’m good now though.”

  He steps closer to me forcing me to look up into those gorgeous green eyes. “So, I’m wonderful?”

  “You’re a pain in the ass,” I smile. Before I can process what’s happening, his lips are on mine. What surprises me most, is that I don’t flinch or pull away like I’ve done in the past when anyone has tried to kiss me unexpectantly. I was with Sean for eight months, and I still struggled with it.

  Reflexively, my arms wrap around his neck. His tongue asks for permission to enter my mouth, and I grant him access without hesitation. He tastes like mint and wine.

  I moan light
ly just as he pulls away, still holding me close to his body; leaving me breathless and wanting more.

  “I’ve wanted to do that since I laid eyes on you at Sin,” he confesses.

  “Oh yeah? And now that you have?” I ask, surprised by my flirtatiousness.

  “I want to do it again.” He doesn’t give me a choice in the matter before his mouth claims mine again. Not that I would have stopped him. He’s an incredible kisser.

  I know it should be impossible, but at this moment with his lips pressed against mine, I’m already uncontrollably about to fall over into the deep end.

  If he keeps kissing me like this, I’d gladly jump in head first.

  Chapter 7

  Nathan

  Last night with Gia was amazing. Kissing her was everything I dreamed it’d be and more.

  After dinner and our mini make-out session, we took a walk at a nearby park before I brought her back to the diner to pick up her car. I wanted to see her home as a gentleman should, but she wouldn’t let me…yet.

  I’m a PI. It’s not like I can’t find out where she lives, but I want to respect her privacy. She’ll be telling me willingly soon enough.

  I’m picking her up from the community college tonight after her class so we can spend some more time together. Last night wasn’t enough. I want to spend every moment that I can with her. Is it normal to become instantly obsessed with someone like this? Probably not, but I couldn’t care less.

  She’s beautiful, sexy, and feisty. Always keeping me on my toes. I think I love the fact she makes me work for her time. Earn it. She’s most definitely worth it.

  I know there are things in her past she understandably doesn’t want to open up about yet. I knew she was battling with something the first night I met her, and I could tell when I was talking about my own childhood, she became visibly uncomfortable. Almost like she was suffocating.

  I hope with time I can prove to be worthy of her trust so she’ll confide in me. Call me crazy, but I want to be the one to help heal her; help her breathe again.

  I try to push thoughts of Gia aside while I’m at work, but it’s proving difficult to do. I attempt to busy myself with finalizing contracts and other paperwork.

  Around lunchtime, I get a visitor I wasn’t expecting to see today.

  “Nate Dogg.”

  I look up from my desk to see my buddy, Kyle Davis, entering my office. “Hey Man, What are you doing here?”

  “I figured I at least owed you lunch for all the work you’ve put in trying to help me.”

  “Man, you don’t have to do that. I mean we’re still no closer to finding her now than we were two years ago,” I say regretfully.

  “I know. I also know you’ve been trying. Plus I want to just catch up with my boy.”

  “Okay then. I could eat. Let’s go.”

  We pick a burger joint not far from my office. After being seated and giving our drink requests, the waitress brings us our beers and takes our orders before collecting our menus and disappearing.

  “So, how’s Olivia?” I ask.

  Kyle and his wife met when we were sophomores in college. They got married right after graduating and had their first baby about four weeks ago- a beautiful baby girl.

  “Liv’s good. She’s going stir crazy though. The baby’s been colicky, and since she had to have an emergency cesarean, her recovery is not going to be as fast as she’d anticipated. Her mother showed up this morning demanding to help out. To be honest, we need it. We have no clue what we’re doing. She kicked me out and told me to take a walk,” he laughs.

  “Wow, so how does it feel to be a dad?”

  “It’s pretty damn awesome,” he grins. We clank our beer bottles together as the waitress delivers our food.

  “What about you? Think you’ll have babies someday?” he questions.

  “Probably, should work on a wife first.” When I say the word wife, Gia’s face automatically pops in my head, making the corners of my mouth turn up.

  “I know that look. Who is she and when can I meet her?” He asks, taking a bite out of his monstrosity of a burger.

  “Her name is Gia. We just met recently, so it’s pretty new. Very new actually,” I tell him.

  “But you’re really into her. I can tell.”

  “Yeah, it’s crazy. I’ve dated women for months and never felt anything close to what I’m feeling for her already. I only met her a couple of weeks ago, and it feels like the real deal.”

  “Sounds like she may be the one, man.”

  “I don’t know about all that. Like I said, it’s new. We’ve only been on one date.”

  “Hey, when you know you know. Don’t let the length of time determine where you think your relationship should be. It’s all about how you feel. Live and let go.”

  “Maybe, I’ll do just that,” I say taking in his advice.

  When we get back to my office, I decide to question Kyle a little more about this elusive sister of his. I want to see if there’s a different detail that sticks out and will give me something to run with. He’s a good friend. Probably my best friend. I want this for him.

  “While I have you here, let’s just run through the facts we have on your sister again. As you know, we’re back to square one, but sometimes another recount of the facts may spark something we hadn’t considered before.”

  “Okay. It’s worth a shot,” Kyle agrees taking a seat.

  “Okay. Start from the beginning.”

  “Like I’ve said before, she ran away right after she turned seventeen. So she’d be twenty-two getting ready to turn twenty-three now,” He calculates out loud with his eyes lifted to the ceiling. Satisfied with his math, he looks to me again, “Her birthday’s November seventeenth.”

  Looking at the calendar, I notice that’s just over a week away. He must be thinking of her a lot right now with her birthday coming up. I scribble it in my notes. It may or may not come in handy. Chances are though if she changed her name, which I’m almost one hundred percent positive she did, she changed her birthday too. At least on paper.

  “That contact you had. The one that told you she was friends with Sophie Donovan. I tried to call that number you gave me, but it’s been disconnected. Who was that?”

  “No clue. Some woman that answered the ad I had on craigslist. The more I think about it, the more I’m sure she was just after the reward money. She was adamant that I’d find her through that lead. She kept trying to get me to prematurely write her a check before we could even check out the tip. Obviously, she just made it up so…”

  “Did the lady tell you her name?”

  “She may have, but I honestly don’t remember what it was.” I scrub my face with my hands as I mull over what he’s saying.

  “And you say you don’t know who your sister’s birth father is?”

  He casts his eyes to the floor before returning them to meet mine. “No.”

  I squint my eyes at him. The question clearly makes him uncomfortable. He knows something about him. He even mentioned he was going to help her find him himself. But I don’t press. The longer he holds out, the longer it’ll take to find her, so it’s on him what information he wants to share.

  “Okay well, I have a couple of new accounts to set up so it’ll be a couple of weeks before I can delve back into this. In the meantime, try and think of anything you can remember about the woman that answered the ad. ”

  “Will do. Keep me posted, please. I’ll do the same. I’ll talk to you soon,” He says, standing to leave.

  “Tell Liv I said hi.” He nods and exits my office.

  This whole situation is unsettling. I’ve never met her in person, but I know Kyle and his other sister Erin still communicate somewhat. He doesn’t seem overly fond of her, but he seems to love her in a ‘because I have to sort of way’ but he clearly still cares.

  So why’d this sister disappear?

  Either this woman does not want to be found or wo
rse. She’s dead. Running away at her age with nowhere to go and no money? With none of the leads panning out over the last two years, I’m almost banking on the latter.