Breathe

by Jessica Phoenix

  His mouth migrates to the swells of my breast just before he rips the cups of my bra down exposing my breasts to him. He sucks one of my nipples in his mouth making my back arch, pushing my body closer to his. He shows the other the same attention before descending my body, leaving trails of wet kisses down my chest and stomach.

  He reaches his intended destination, at the apex between my thighs and wastes no time sucking my clit in his mouth. He’s licking and moaning against me, making me shudder uncontrollably. My back arches into him more as tingles run through my entire body from head to toe. His tongue feels amazing. Nobody has ever done this to me before. Ever. The pleasure is so good that it’s almost too much.

  I grip his hair in my hand tightly, bucking wildly against his mouth. He grabs my hips pinning them to the bed, forcing my body to absorb every sensation his wickedly skilled tongue unleashes.

  My core tightens, and my eyes roll to the back of my head. My breathing gets even more shallow, and when he sucks my clit one last time, an unfamiliar sound rips through my throat when I shatter apart. He keeps flicking his tongue over me until I start my descent from my orgasmic high. My legs fall open lazily, exposing myself to him all the more. They’re shaking uncontrollably, and I’m too weak to hold them up.

  Nate kisses both sides of my inner thighs before kissing my center one last time. He moves back up my body, kissing me deeply, allowing me to taste myself on his lips.

  He reaches over to pull open the nightstand and pulls out a foil wrapper. Using his teeth to open it, he removes the condom and sheaths his ridiculously large cock.

  Looking down at it, my heartbeat quickens with anticipation. He pushes my legs a little further apart before settling between them. His fingers enter me again assuring him I’m ready for him. I’m not so convinced even though I’m dripping wet. I don’t know that I can take all of him.

  He looks me in my eyes before kissing me again, but this time, softer. Gentler. When he pulls back, he asks, “Are you ready?”

  Not trusting my voice, I nod yes once. He lines himself up with my entrance and slowly starts to push in, stopping briefly so I can adjust around him. I await the panic that I expect to follow. It never comes. Instead, a need builds inside me making me want more of him. He pushes in more, this time not stopping until he’s buried himself deep inside me. His face is buried in my neck, kissing it as his hips move slow and sensually.

  I wrap my arms around his shoulders, clawing and pulling him to me. I want to be closer, but I can’t get close enough. I wrap my legs around his waist, arching my body towards him. His pace picks up becoming more urgent from his own need.

  That same sensation from early builds again causing my walls to clench around him. Feeling me tighten around him, he groans in my ear, “That’s it. Come for me, baby.” His words push me over the edge forcing me to cry out his name.

  He lifts my left leg over his shoulder continuing his punishing pace until moments later, he finds his release. His movement’s slow, pumping a few more times before he stills, collapsing on top of me. Our panting is all that can be heard, as we slowly float back down to reality.

  After a few minutes, Nathan rolls off me, laying on his side, pulling me closer to his body. Now that sanity is starting to return to my mind, and I can think straight, I take in his tattoos on his chest and arm. There are several different ones that somehow connect and create one beautiful masterpiece. But an inscription at the top of his ribcage is what catches my attention. It reads; “If you don’t live for something, you’ll die for nothing.” The words he said to me last night at Canoe.

  I trace the words with my fingers contemplating their significance to him. I could ask him, but I don’t want to pry. “Not a fan of the ink?” he teases, knowing damn well it’s hot as hell.

  “No, I like it. It’s sexy,” I smile up at him. “I have one too,” I reveal.

  “You do? I didn’t notice one. Where is it?” I sit up with my back to him, letting the sheet fall around my waist. I lift my hair to show him my small tattoo located high on my back between my shoulders. There are silhouettes of a flock of soaring birds above the word “breathe.” His hand traces the inscription, just as I did to his, before letting his hand softly trail down my back.

  “I like it,” he says. I lay down flat on my back turning my head to face him. He reaches up, stroking my cheek with his knuckles. “You’re so beautiful.”

  I smile, and warmth fills my chest. A feeling I’ve never felt before. I roll onto my side, still facing him to say, “So are you.”

  He returns my smile before asking, “Will you stay with me tonight?”

  I reach up to cup his cheek. I don’t want to leave his side, so I tell him, “Yes.”

  He leans over to reward me with a kiss. Instantaneously, my desire for him builds again, and I know for sure the night isn’t even close to being over.

  Chapter 9

  Nathan

  I wake up to the sound of Gia’s phone ringing. I open one eye to see if she’s answering, but it’s clear from her unmoving body that she doesn’t hear it.

  Poor thing is worn out. Can’t lie, I’m a little proud of that…Okay, a lot proud of it.

  I don’t want to silence it because it could be important, so I nudge her awake. “Gia. Baby, your phone.”

  “What?!” she shouts, lifting her head startled. Her dark hair is all over the place in a sexy, thoroughly fucked kind of way.

  I point to the phone, stifling a laugh, as she hurriedly answers it. “Gia Davis,” she answers jumping up, heading to the living room for privacy.

  After a few minutes, she returns and climbs back into bed with me. She places her head on my chest and wraps her leg around my waist.

  “Is it sad that I didn’t learn your last name until after we’ve slept together?” She lifts her head seemingly thinking over what I just said, then erupts into laughter. “You know, I hadn’t thought about it. I guess it just never came up in the two times we’ve hung out.”

  She sits up and holds out her hand to me waiting for me to accept it. I smile and take her hand in mine. She shakes it and says, “Nice to meet you. I’m Gia Davis.”

  Laughing I respond, “Nathan Sayers.”

  She giggles and my heart skips a beat. A slew of emotions flood through me. I stare at her just amazed by her beauty, both inside and out. The way this woman makes me feel…I’ve never felt more alive than I do with her.

  She catches me staring and gives me a weird look. “What?”

  “It’s…nothing…Who was on the phone?” I ask to change the subject.

  “Oh, that was some career counselor. Quinn suggested I see one since I have no clue what I’m doing with my life.”

  “If you need any help or want to bounce some ideas off me, you know you can right?”

  “I know. And thank you. I just figure it won’t hurt to seek professional help,” she jokes.

  “As long as you pick something that makes you happy,” I encourage.

  “You make me happy.” As soon as she says it, her eyes widen like she hadn’t meant to say it out loud. Her cheeks flush a bit with embarrassment. “I better get going. I have to um…get home and shower before my shift,” she says as she scurries around collecting her clothes.

  I approach her from behind wrapping my hands around her waist. “You make me happy too. More than I’ve ever been with anyone in my life.”

  She swallows hard, looking around anywhere but at me. I gently grip her chin and make her face me and kiss her soft lips. “Now get dressed. I’ll take you home then to work.”

  After twenty minutes of arguing about getting to drive her to work, I finally win that argument. But only because I reluctantly agreed that she could ride home with Quinn after work so they can study. I know getting her diploma is important to her but I can’t help wanting to be with her all the time.

  When we get to her condo, I wait in the car to make some phone calls while she gets changed f
or work.

  After I drop her off, I head to the office, figuring I’ll catch up on some paperwork. Now that I’m with Gia, I plan to try and get as much work done while she’s working or at school so anytime she’s available, I can be with her.

  It doesn’t take long to get caught up, so I have the extra time today to work on Kyle’s sister’s case.

  A few hours later and I’m still just as lost about where to go from here as always, so I dial Kyle to check in with him.

  “Hey Nate,” he says when he picks up. I hear the baby crying in the background.

  “Hey man, I’m sorry to bother you. I can call you back another time.”

  “No. No. It’s fine. What’s up?”

  “I was going to ask you if I could speak to Erin or your mom. You think they’ll-”, before I can even finish speaking, he frantically cuts me off.

  “No! No. They won’t tell you any more than I have. And…it would just upset them to bring this up. Especially when we still are no closer to finding her.”

  “O-kay. I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m just trying to find a new lead,” I explain.

  “I know man. It’s okay. But I have to go back in and help Liv with the baby,” he says, suddenly rushing me off the phone.

  “No problem. Kiss them both for me.”

  “I will. Talk to you later.”

  This whole situation is driving me crazy.

  Screw it.

  I decided to go to the diner for lunch since I’m not going to get to be with Gia tonight. I have to see her at least once again today. Last night was incredible. It felt so good being with her. Better than good. I can’t find the words to describe what it was like to be inside her. To connect with her on that level. I can’t stop thinking about it.

  Shit. I’m going fucking crazy.

  Driving to Mitch’s, a welcomed realization hits me. It might be way too soon but I’m not going crazy at all. For the first time in my life, I’m falling in love.

  Chapter 10

  Gia

  Quinn and I finished studying earlier than we anticipated, so she went out with some pro ball player she met recently, leaving me home alone. I don’t mind though.

  Once she’s gone, I pour myself a glass of wine and dock my iPod. Donnie Hathaway’s ‘For All We Know’ comes alive through the speakers. It’s one I listened to a lot over the years. The melody always seemed to lull me into a calmness, even after being violated or after mama had one of her drunken fits.

  Music did that for me in general. Words. Music. My only refuge.

  I pull out my old faithful notebook, reading some of my past entries. Feeling inspired to pen some new ones, I begin writing on one of the last of the tattered pages. Lately, my words and thoughts aren’t as dark as they usually are. I think Nate might have something to do with that.

  He is amazing. Never in a million years did I think I would find such happiness in a man like him. Especially this fast. With him, I feel like I can just be. Like I can just…breathe.

  It just goes to show you don’t know what God has in store for you. What I do know is Nathan feels like a blessing. I think I might even be falling in love with him. I’ve never been in love before, but this has to be what it feels like.

  Now that Quinn’s gone, I wish Nathan was here with me. I set my notebook on the table and get up to sway to the music. I close my eyes and imagine he was here with me, slow dancing. I would call him, but I don’t want to smother him. I’d hate to run him off so soon.

  As my mind races with thoughts of him and our time together last night, I hear a knock at the door. My brows furrow because I don’t know who it could be. Whoever it is, is probably for Quinn.

  I peer out the peephole, and my smile instantly spreads when I see it’s Nathan. I step back and try to fluff my curly hair. I look down at my pajama shorts and tank top and frown.

  He knocks again, and I realize I don’t have time to change, so I hurriedly swing open the door. Before I can ask him what he’s doing here, he grabs my face and pulls me in for a delicious kiss. I hold onto his shoulders as he walks me backward to close the door behind him.

  “I missed you,” he breathes out once he releases me.

  “I missed you too,” I giggle. We’re pathetic. We just saw one another at lunch. Not to mention, we spent the night together.

  I lead him to the couch where we sit. He looks around and asks, “Where’s Quinn?”

  “On a date,” I say wincing.

  “What?! You mean we could have been together this whole time? I thought you were studying!”

  “We did study,” I laugh. “We just got done a little early, and she’s really feeling this dude, so I told her to go.”

  “Why didn’t you call me? I would have come and picked you up,” he says sweetly, as he twirls one of my curls around his finger.

  “I know, but I didn’t want to bother you. Plus I was just relishing the peace. Writing a little and listening to some music.”

  “What do you write in that thing anyway?” He asks tapping the cover of my notebook, mimicking the same question Quinn asks me every damn day.

  “Just words,” I say using the same response I always give her.

  “Well, you do know they sell more at the store. That one looks like it’s on its last leg,” he chuckles.

  At that, I laugh. I can never part with this one. Ever. I stand and gesture for him to follow me to my room, and he does without a question.

  “Oh yeah,” he jokes grabbing me by the waist when we get to my bedroom.

  “I didn’t bring you in here for that crazy,” I say to him swatting him away.

  I pull open my armoire containing one hundred, give or take a few, notebooks. They’re all various sizes and types. I hand him one, and he flips through the pages. “Each one of these is full of my writing — not one blank page in any of them. I have lots of notebooks. But that beat up one, as you and Quinn see it, is special. I can never part with it. It was my very first one and contains the first entries I ever wrote. It has been my salvation, so I like to keep it close.” His eyes widen taking in all the books. I take the one he’s holding from his hand, putting it back before closing the doors.

  Making our way back down the hall to the living room he asks me again, “What do you write about?”

  I let out a sigh before telling him, “I was eight when I first started. So initially, they were just ramblings of a very hurt, lost, extremely scared little girl. Eventually, it evolved. Now it depends on my mood or my day…Events…Usually, it’s songs or poetry. Some are journals. Writing is how I express my feelings and music is how I express myself when I can’t find my own words. Writing and music; they were my only escape from the ugliness I grew up in. The only thing that was mine. That no one could strip away.”

  He scoots closer to me and takes my hand in his. “I’m sorry…For whatever it is you went through.”

  “Why? You didn’t do anything.” I slowly get up and walk over to the forgotten iPod, not wanting his pity.

  I find the song I imagined dancing with him to and push play. “But if you want to do something to make me feel good right now, you can come dance with me.”

  “I’d love to,” he says standing to his feet and pulling me to his body as Brian McKnight’s ‘Never Felt This Way’ plays. We sway together, listening to the soulful ballad. After the first “Never felt this way”, Nathan looks me in my eyes and whispers, “Me neither.”

  My heart soars as he pulls me closer. He kisses me affectionately on the top of my head that rests on his chest, listening to his heartbeat, letting it soothe me. With each beat of his heart, it fills mine with a feeling I haven’t felt since the day I left Hamilton. Hope. Hope for a future…with him.

  Chapter 11

  Nathan

  We wake up early since Gia’s working the morning shift today. We fell asleep, cuddled up on the couch. It was the most intimacy I’d ever experienced, and it didn’t involve sex. Sh
e shared something personal and meaningful with me about her past. It wasn’t a lot of details, but it means a lot to me that she is starting to open up.

  Every new thing I learn about her makes me fall harder for her. I’m certain she doesn’t share information, especially her past, about herself very often. It felt like she was giving me a piece of her soul. As a result, I’ll be forever changed because last night Gia Davis took complete possession of my heart and I hope she never gives it back. Hell, she can try, but no matter what, it’ll always belong to her.

  I open the door to the diner for her, and she smiles sweetly at me. “You staying for breakfast this morning?”