Breathe

by Jessica Phoenix

  Okay, so begged is a bit of a stretch since my father never wanted me to start as an intern in the first place. He’s believed in me from day one. I don’t want things given to me though. I want to earn my place like everyone else. However, when one of the labels biggest artists requests your skills, you jump at the opportunity.

  I’ve now written and produced three songs on his upcoming album, and after his early listening party, I have six other artists on the label that are requesting to work with me including my cousin Keith, whose first single cracked the top ten in its first week on the charts. I’m super proud of him. Had he let me produce, it might have been number one though.

  Cocky much Gia? Yes. Yes, I am. I am the daughter of Noah Evans and the protege of Sam Harris after all.

  Other labels have been reaching out to work with me as well. So I guess you can say I’m proving I’m more than just the CEO’s daughter, even though said CEO brags about me to anyone that will listen.

  Success is happening so fast, but I can’t deny I absolutely love it.

  Never in my wildest dreams did imagine I’d be here. I’m a runaway, who had nothing and no one until an old jazz legend took pity on a dirty, hungry girl, hanging out in the back alley of a jazz club.

  I owe so much to Sam. That’s why I’m starting a music school in the city for children whose families can’t afford to pay for music lessons. We’ll offer free lessons with retired and volunteer musicians. I will make sure to commit to at least one night a week myself. My father and Darryl have also volunteered as well as Ray, the drummer from Ralph’s. I’m pleased to say that we already have a full roster of students.

  “How we doing? How we doing?” Noah says coming to see what we’re working on as I listen to the playback. Thanks to Keith I have become a master at working the soundboards myself when an engineer isn’t available.

  “Noah, your daughter is a genius,” Dante gushes.

  “Tell me something I don’t know. She was born to do this. Just be glad she ain’t recording her own stuff yet. The rest of y’all would be fighting for the number two spot because my baby girl would dominate the charts.”

  “Dad!”

  “Just speaking the truth,” he shrugs.

  “Word Gia? You got vocals like that?”

  I just smile shaking my head.

  “What you ain’t know? Boy, you better ask somebody. She’s a local celebrity on the jazz scene.”

  “Don’t listen to him. He’s my dad. He’s supposed to say that,” I giggle.

  “Let me find out G,” Dante encourages.

  “Right now let’s find out about this hit,” I redirect, taking the focus off myself. I’m only cocky in my head…and when I’m arguing with Keith.

  Dante steps out of the booth and joins Noah and I in the studio as we playback the track.

  “It’s good. Vocals are on point Dante, and I like the piano breakdown. That’s you I presume?” he asks pointing at me. I cock my head at him giving him an ‘of course’ look. He laughs taking the hint. “Okay. I knew better, but it’s still missing something on that chorus.”

  I run it back again and listen taking in his feedback.

  “Hmm. Yeah, I see what you mean. I think we should layer it with a female voice. I can get one of the background vocalists in here so we can try it out.”

  “Now, why would you waste time doing that? You already know what it’s going to take to make this a number one. Go on. I’ll man the board,” he says waving me off.

  “Ugh. Really Noah? You’re that determined to get me to record?”

  “Oh calm down, it’s just background vocals. Go on now. Time is money.”

  I huff out like a spoiled teen as Noah offers me his hand to help me stand. I struggle a bit to get up with my eight-month pregnant belly. Dad rubs my belly just before ushering me into the booth and Dante settles in my newly abandoned seat.

  I put on the headphones and step up to the mic, preparing to knock this out real quick. I don’t need the lyrics because well, I wrote them.

  When I look up, I see Nate entering the studio, and my smile is instant. It’s pretty well been a permanent fixture on my face since the day we reconciled.

  My gorgeous fiancé popped the question in front of everyone at my last official night at Ralph’s. I’m almost certain he knocked me up in that hotel suite where he took me to celebrate that same night.

  It came as a huge surprise, to say the least, finding out I was pregnant since it was thought it would be difficult for me ever to conceive. If at all.

  Nate offers me a wink that makes my body shudder. I wish I could blame that reaction on the pregnancy hormones, but he pretty much always has had that effect on me.

  I’m running late for our lunch date, so he takes a seat on the couch to watch me work. He says it’s one of his favorite things to do. Sometimes, he shows up out of nowhere and doesn’t say a word. He just sits back and observes.

  Damn he’s sexy. Even sexier than usual with that Wing Stop bag in his hand…Hey don’t judge. I’m eating for two.

  Nathan greets the guys as Noah introduces him prematurely as his son in law. Sometimes, I think he loves him almost as much as I do. Almost.

  When the chatter between them doesn’t appear to be settling down, I grow a tad impatient. I speak into the mic reminding them I’m here and waiting. “Now if you girls are done, let’s get to work. After all, time is money,” I say with a smirk, throwing my father’s words back at him provoking a laugh from him and Dante.

  “You got it, boss,” Noah laughs, refocusing on the task at hand.

  Besides, the sooner I can lay this track down, the sooner I can tear into that takeout.

  Epilogue

  Gia

  Six months later…

  “There’s my sweet niece!” I exclaim as my sister in law enters the bridal suite with little Georgia.

  Little Georgia has officially become her nickname even though I don’t go by that name anymore. I had thought about changing it legally, but as soon as I held my niece, I decided to keep it…for her.

  I love her so much, and she is too adorable today in her lavender flower girl dress.

  My relationship with Kyle has improved, and he’s even starting to feel like a brother. Although his wife and I have become great friends, he and I are still a long way off from being close. But strangely enough, I think we may get there. Eventually. I mean he is in our wedding after all.

  That’s right. It’s mine and Nate’s wedding day.

  We had planned to get married soon after he proposed but pushed it back after we found out we were pregnant. I refused to be a bloated bride, and we both thought it be special to have our baby be a part of our day.

  “You think she’s going to make it down that aisle?” Ayana asks about little Georgia, squatting down to place a sparkling flower barrette in her hair.

  “I don’t know. Guess we’ll see. We’ve got about a fifty-fifty shot,” Liv chuckles.

  “Who cares? She’s the prettiest flower girl ever. She can do whatever she wants,” I say smiling at my niece.

  “You would say that. You spoil that child. She gets away with murder with you,” Quinn accuses.

  “I do not!” Okay, so maybe I spoil her…a little. Sue me. I’ve never had a niece.

  “That’s okay though. I’ll be sure to return the favor with Cammie,” Liv jokingly threatens.

  “Hey!” I laugh. Not even realizing that there is now opportunity for payback.

  Nathan and I had a beautiful baby girl four and a half months ago. We named her Camille Grace Sayers.

  Camille after my beautiful doppelgänger aunt I never got the chance to meet. Even though I didn’t get to meet her, she meant the world to Grandma and Dad. She also had my two cousins who are more like siblings now. For that alone, I am thankful and love her too.

  Grace was the name of Nate’s grandmother who passed away when he was eleven. Both families loved that we pai
d homage to our loved ones through our daughter.

  Our baby girl is the almost the spitting image of her father. Same shade of blonde hair, nose, and mouth but her eyes…her eyes she gets from her momma. Beautiful stormy greys. Those and her curls are all me. She’s perfect.

  “Ten minutes ladies!” the neurotic wedding coordinator warns.

  Why did I hire her again?

  Despite her spastic personality, she has pulled together my dream wedding.

  Oh right. That’s why.

  Everyone starts scurrying around and doing last minute fixes and touch ups to my makeup and hair right before we all line up outside the suite.

  I take a final glance at myself in the floor length mirror across the hall, taking in the sight of myself in my wedding gown. I chose a strapless princess style gown, complete with a sequined corset top and tulle skirt.

  “This is it. I hope he knows how lucky he is,” Noah says walking up to offer me his arm. I take it, and I can’t help but smile like an idiot as the anticipation builds.

  “I’m the lucky one. For more reasons than one,” I smile. I’m beyond giddy. Never in a million years did I think I would use the word lucky to describe my life. Cursed, damaged, broken, unwanted, unloved…these are the words I would have used to describe myself not so long ago. Now I feel…blessed.

  Noah leans over and plants a kiss to the top of my head. “You ready baby girl?”

  “Yes,” I say without hesitation.

  He chuckles and pats my hand just as the doors open and my bridesmaids start their march. Liv, Ayana and Nate’s sister Kate are my bridesmaids while Quinn is my maid of honor. She and Keith are now dating. Go figure.

  Nathan chose Kyle as his best man. I’m glad they were able to start mending their friendship. Keith, Jax and Michael, a couple of friends of Nate’s, make up the groomsmen.

  Even though our wedding isn’t huge, it’s exactly what we wanted.

  Purple hydrangeas that match my bouquet decorate the alter where Nathan waits for me. A full wall of flowers stands behind the minister in the same flower garden I brought Nate to tell him I was having our baby. This is where we chose to exchange our vows.

  Just before the doors close again to conceal me from a premature reveal, I notice my grandmother Patrice sitting rightfully, so in the front row seat intended for the mother of the bride, while loving on her great-granddaughter bouncing in her lap.

  When it’s my turn to walk, the doors reopen, and everyone stands for me.

  I stop abruptly at the end of the aisle. My breaths begin to come out raspy, my heart rate picks up, and my palms start to sweat profusely.

  Seriously?! I cannot be having a panic attack right now!

  Noah whispers at me, “You okay baby girl?”

  I don’t answer him. I close my eyes trying to calm myself when my father whispers to me again.

  “Gia. Honey. Breathe.”

  I hear him, but I can’t quite process his words.

  I don’t understand why this is happening. I love Nathan. He’s everything I could ever want in a husband and friend. He’s an incredible father to Cammie. Not one sign of cold feet until now?! Why am I freaking out now?!

  As these thoughts race through my mind and bombard me at once, La’Porsha Renae’s ‘Breathe’ begins to play to accompany me down the aisle. I finally manage to look up, and I see the beautiful face of the man I love.

  Our eyes lock and that gorgeous smile of his stretches across his face. I go a little weak in the knees, but my breathing begins to slow as I gaze at him. He winks at me and instantly all my anxiety washes away and is replaced with pure desire.

  My skin starts to flush, and he gives me a knowing grin. I roll my eyes and smile so wide it hurts. Without any further hesitation, my feet begin moving towards him, and suddenly I can’t get down the aisle fast enough.

  When we make it to the end, Noah places my hand in Nathan’s as he smiles down at me. I look up at him, and it’s as if the final piece of my world snaps into place.

  I part my lips, and I exhale. Finally, I’m able to just breathe.

  Gia’s Playlist

  For All We Know

  Donnie Hathaway

  Song For You

  Donnie Hathaway

  Never Felt This Way

  Brian McKnight

  How Do You Mend A Broken Heart

  Al Green

  Apologize

  Timbaland & One Republic

  A Change Is Gonna Come

  Sam Cooke

  Higher Learning

  Stevie Wonder

  Sentimental Mood

  John Coltrane and Duke Ellington

  Almost Doesn’t Count

  Brandy

  Brokenhearted

  Brandy & Wanya Morris

  Lately

  Stevie Wonder

  My One And Only

  Ella Fitzgerald

  Back To Black

  Amy Winehouse

  If You Leave

  Music Soulchild & Mary J. Blige

  All of Me

  John Legend

  Georgia On My Mind

  Ray Charles

  Mess Around

  Ray Charles

  I Have Nothing

  Whitney Houston

  Breathe

  La’Porsha Renae

  A letter from the author

  Gia and Nathan are one of my favorite couples I’ve written so far. Gia’s growth into the confident successful woman she became warms my heart. Despite her upbringing, Gia was able to listen to her heart and look past her demons to see Nathan for the man he was. A truly kind and passionate soul who’d move heaven and earth for her.

  As you can tell, music played a big part in this story. That’s largely because music is what helped inspire it. I love music of all types and genres. (You should see my library, it makes absolutely no sense!) Music has been a big part of my life since forever. Listening, singing, playing. So in a lot of ways Gia’s a lot like me. Especially in the way that she often uses music as an expression of her own words unable to be spoken.

  This story is a little different from your typical interracial couple story because Gia was in fact biracial. However she identified with her African American side more because of the abuse she dealt with growing up in a completely white town.

  Although Gia’s issues with dating Nathan were more personal than about what others thought, she did get some flak from her cousin Keith who questioned her not only for being biracial, but also about being with Nate if she was so “down for the culture”.

  Poor girl was hit from every side. No matter what, she was talked down to in a way that made her feel like she didn’t belong or being told her opinions didn’t matter. That’s hard on a person’s psyche. Thankfully loving Grandma Patrice was there to set everyone straight. It’s not fair to exclude, judge or assume anything because of personal, small minded beliefs. Period.

  Being in an interracial relationship myself, I know it can be hard to deal with the staring and whispers. Luckily I’ve never been the type to give a shit what other people think and neither is my husband. But that’s not the point. The point is why should people care?

  My husband Jonathan and I have made four amazingly beautiful and talented daughters as a product of our love for one another and at the end of the day that’s all that matters.

  I’m a strong believer that true love has no color. We’ve heard this repeatedly. Who we choose to love should have no bearing on anyone other than the couple involved.

  I also believe you shouldn’t judge an entire group of people based on the actions of a few.

  I hate the that world can be so color blind at times, but I’m also glad that interracial couples are accepted more than in the past. I still think we have a ways to go to get people to mind their own damn business, but I do believe we’re moving in the right direction.

  Relationships are hard enough without the added sc
rutiny of outsiders. We will all do well to accept one another’s choices and allow everyone to love freely.

  So I say love who the hell you want. If you find someone that gives you all the feels hold on to them and love each other for all it’s worth. No matter what people may think or say. No matter what the color of their skin.

  About the Author

  Jessica Phoenix is a Florida native that now resides in Georgia. She is a wife and mother of four beautiful daughters that are her life’s motivation.

  She is a former nurse, but her longtime passion for reading fueled her desire to become a writer and invite people to live in her world for a moment like so many other great writers do for her.