Unplanned

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Unplanned Page 20

by Sarah Biglow


  “Okay. We’ve decided we’re not reducing the twins. But it’s been awkward with my parents since we walked out on them at lunch,” Lisbeth admitted.

  From what Lisbeth had told them, her parents hadn’t answered any e-mails or phone calls in nearly a month. Candace took Lisbeth’s hand and ran her thumb over it affectionately. At least the pair seemed back on good terms after deciding to keep both babies.

  “They’ll come around. They have to,” Renee said.

  “Thanks.”

  It was obvious Lisbeth didn’t believe Renee. Shannon felt bad that Lisbeth’s parents couldn’t be happy for their daughter. She was becoming a mother, and she had someone to share the experience with. They talked a little while longer until Mike stuck his head in from the dining room.

  “Dinner’s ready,” he announced.

  Christian, Tanner, and Meghan raced into the dining room and clambered into seats. Shannon led her friends to the table and, after shifting the chairs so everyone could fit, they all sat down. A pitcher of sparkling cider sat in the center of the table, surrounded by heaping plates of turkey, stuffing, and potatoes. Glancing around the table, Shannon was grateful for the friends she’d made. She reached out and took Meghan’s hand. Everyone followed suit until their hands circled the table.

  “I thought we could each go around and say something we’re thankful for before we eat,” Shannon said. “I’ll start. I’m thankful for my wonderful husband and children and the new family I’ve found.”

  Meghan mumbled something about her penguin and the new baby. Tanner and Christian followed her lead. They got to Erika, and she had tears slipping down her cheeks.

  “I’m thankful…no, grateful, for the strength you have all shown over the last few months. I don’t think I could have gotten through this without you. And I’m thankful for two months of sobriety.”

  “Here, here,” Candace said and broke the circle to raise her glass.

  Moisture glistened at the corners of Lisbeth’s eyes when it was her turn. “I have to echo Erika and say I’m grateful to have found such strong women at this point in my life. Knowing I can talk to any of you gives me hope that the rocky patches will smooth out soon.”

  They broke apart and started to pass food around the table. Shannon sipped her cider and took in the scene. Something about the group assembled made it all worthwhile, the exhaustion and sore ankles included. She watched Tanner trying to tear the turkey on his plate apart with his fork and spoon.

  “Tanner, give Mama your plate, and I’ll cut it for you.”

  Tanner picked up the plate and passed it over. She quickly cut it into bite-size pieces and handed it back. The meal finished about forty minutes later, and they retired to the living room again to let the food settle before dessert.

  “Mom, can we play a game?” Christian asked.

  “What do you want to play?” she asked.

  “Pictionary.”

  She looked to Mike, and he nodded. “Sure.”

  “I’m with Mama,” Meghan said before Tanner got the chance.

  They split into two teams. Christian pulled out a painting easel from the dining room and taped a sheet of paper to it. He handed the marker to Erika, and she picked a card. She tapped her chin with the marker and started to draw. Candace, Lisbeth, and Renee started guessing, and when they got it—windsurfer—she broke out in a broad grin.

  “Is it our turn?” Meghan asked.

  “Yes. Here you go,” Erika said and handed the marker over.

  “Ask Daddy to help you pick something,” Shannon said.

  Meghan picked a card, and Mike whispered in her ear to explain what it was. She started to draw. Shannon tried to focus on the picture but found herself distracted by the baby kicking. Pressing her hand to her side, she took a deep breath, hoping no one would notice. No such luck. Candace scooted over and leaned in close.

  “Are you all right?”

  “Yeah, fine. The baby’s just kicking.”

  “It must be old hat for you.”

  Shannon forced a smile. “Every pregnancy is a little different. But the baby’s never been this active before. And on a full stomach, it’s not exactly pleasant.”

  “How come the angel has horns?” Christian asked.

  “You have to guess,” Meghan answered with a huff.

  “Hell’s Angels?” Shannon offered.

  “Mama got it!”

  Shannon gave Mike a dark look. “You couldn’t have picked something less adult?”

  “She wanted that one.”

  “She’s six. She doesn’t know what it means.”

  “Next time, you can pick.”

  Shannon bit her tongue. It wouldn’t do any good to argue about it. Besides, it was rude to argue in front of their guests. As Renee took the marker and a card, Shannon wandered into the kitchen and started washing plates. She tried to ignore the sounds in the living room, but the raucous laughter filled her ears.

  “You want some help with that?” Erika asked.

  “Oh, no, that’s okay. I’ve got it.”

  “Can I help anyway?”

  Shannon handed over a dishtowel. “Sure.”

  “Do you guys fight a lot?”

  “Not really. It’s just sometimes, he doesn’t think.”

  “It’s got to be a guy thing.”

  “Oh, it definitely is a guy thing. This whole pregnancy has just been…frustrating.”

  “I totally get that,” Erika said and gave Shannon a sympathetic look.

  Shannon dried her hands on her jeans. “Can you keep a secret?”

  Erika nodded.

  “I’m not entirely happy about this baby. It’s not just having to take on extra clients to save up money. I don’t think Mike’s even noticed I’ve done that. I mean, I’m sure I’ll love this baby just as much as I love Chris and Meghan and Tanner, but…we have no real place to put the baby once he or she gets older. And Mike acts like nothing has changed or will need to.”

  “What does he say about how you feel?”

  “He doesn’t know.”

  “You should tell him.”

  “I know. I just haven’t found the right time.” She shut off the water and started stacking dried dishes back in cabinets.

  “I won’t say anything. I swear.”

  “Thanks.”

  They stood in the kitchen for a while longer in silence before Shannon pulled Erika into a hug. Erika reciprocated until Shannon let go and composed herself.

  “And you’re really doing okay with everything?” Shannon asked.

  “Well, I mean things aren’t great. I’m seriously behind on paying medical bills and stuff. And I was really hoping I was going to like the people Arlene found. The longer I wait, the less I think it’s going to work out. And the more I feel that way, the more I just want to crawl back in a bottle.”

  “You have to believe it will work out. You were put on that path for a reason. You can handle it. Erika, you have so many people around you who will keep you strong if you let them.”

  “You think so?”

  “I do.”

  Erika tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and glanced at the floor. “And there are guys that are making life confusing.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, my ex-boyfriend, Dane, keeps trying to get involved with the baby. And then there’s a guy at my AA meetings, Nate. And he’s really cute, but he’s going on some mission trip for a few months, and all I keep thinking is why am I even interested? I’m a mess. Not to mention I’m going to look like a freaking balloon in a few months. But I kissed Nate last week, and he didn’t tell me he wasn’t totally against it. Well, okay, so maybe a little, but it’s just weird because I like him and he gets me.”

  “From what I’ve heard about Dane, he seems like a really great guy who just wants to be there for you.”

  “And Nate?”

  “You have a common circumstance. He’s trying to be supportive of you.”

  “Yeah, I
know. I just…I wish I knew how to show him that it could work. But maybe he’s worried that I won’t be what he left behind when he comes back from his trip.”

  “Do you think Dane is trying to get involved because he thinks he’s responsible?”

  “Maybe. I mean we broke up a while back. We did sleep together once back during the summer, but I don’t think the baby is his.”

  Before Shannon could ask more, Lisbeth and Candace walked in. “We don’t mean to interrupt, but we’re going to head out.”

  “It was great of you to stop by,” Shannon said and gave each of them a hug.

  Erika hugged them too, and the pair left arm in arm.

  “They always seem so happy together,” Erika said.

  “Yeah. And don’t worry about the guys. That will sort itself out, too.”

  “Thanks.”

  They went back into the living room. The game had devolved into hangman. Meghan carefully wrote her letters in the spaces.

  “Good writing, Meg,” Shannon said.

  “Thanks, Mama.”

  “Is anyone hungry for pie?” Shannon asked.

  “Pie,” Tanner said and started jumping in place.

  They moved back to the dining room, and Shannon brought in the apple crumb and blueberry pies with vanilla and chocolate ice cream. The rest of the evening passed quickly. Exhaustion seemed in the air by the time the dessert dishes were done and Renee and Erika had left. Tanner fell asleep as Shannon carried him upstairs to bed. She tucked him in and kissed his forehead.

  “Night night, little man,” she whispered before she went to check on Christian.

  “Night, Mom.”

  “Night, Chris.”

  She backed out of the room and slipped into Meghan’s room. She lay curled up beneath the blankets.

  “Have a good sleep, sweetie,” Shannon said and pulled the blanket a little closer to Meghan’s chin.

  Meghan sighed and buried her face in her pillow. Just as Shannon stepped out of her daughter’s room, Mike came up the stairs.

  “They all asleep?”

  “Yes. I’m heading to bed. I’m beat.”

  He got to the landing, wrapped his arms around her, and pulled her close. He stared at her as if he were memorizing the contours of her face before he kissed her.

  “We have to start thinking about baby shower details and when we are going get the crib and everything out of the attic,” she said.

  “We still have plenty of time,” he said.

  She pulled free of his embrace and headed for the master bedroom.

  “Shan.”

  “Hmm?”

  “Are you feeling okay? You’ve been distant the last few weeks.”

  “Everything’s fine.” With that, she walked into their bedroom and shut the door.

  22

  December 1st

  Lisbeth pulled her car into a free spot across the street from the yoga studio and cut the engine. She was early since they’d had a snow day. Being a private school, it was rare, but she didn’t mind. Pulling her coat tighter, she raced inside, hoping to get some time in the studio to meditate before class. Tiny snowflakes dotted her jacket and clung to her hair as she stepped into the warmth.

  “Crazy storm,” the receptionist said as Lisbeth hung up her coat.

  “Yeah. Guess the weathermen were right this time. It’s been coming down all morning.”

  “I’m guessing we may have a few people not show up.”

  “Do you think I could just sit in the studio for a bit before class starts? Meditate?”

  “Sure. Carolyn is out grabbing a bite to eat right now, so that’s fine.”

  “Great. Thanks so much.”

  Lisbeth ducked into a changing room and pulled on her workout clothes. She’d switched to an oversized T-shirt back in November, as the tank top she’d been wearing no longer fit. At her next doctor’s appointment, they’d find out the sex of the twins. Lisbeth slipped out of her sneakers and headed for the studio. She grabbed a mat and sat cross-legged as best she could.

  “Don’t think,” she whispered, resting her elbows on her knees.

  The complete silence of the room washed over her, and she relished it. Worries about her family never reconciling along with her everyday stress dropped away. The only sensations remaining were her rhythmic breathing and the movements of the two tiny lives inside her. She let her hands rest on her belly and felt each movement with surprising clarity. Her heart began to beat in time with the babies’ movements. She was so lost in her own body, she didn’t hear the door open or the soft footfalls on the wood floor. The feeling of someone sitting down by her side jerked her from the relaxed moment.

  Lisbeth looked up to see Shannon sitting beside her. “Thought I’d join you,” Shannon said.

  “Sounds good. How’d your doctor’s appointment go on Monday?”

  “He said my blood pressure is up a little, so I have to go back every two weeks for extra checkups.”

  “Do they know what’s causing it?”

  “They’re not sure. It could just be stress, or it could be something worse. I’m hoping it’s just stress.”

  “I’ll keep my fingers crossed it was just a spike and that everything will be back to normal.”

  “Thanks. We found out it’s a boy.”

  “I bet Meghan was disappointed. She told me at Thanksgiving she wanted a sister.”

  “She can hold her own with the boys. But yeah, she was a little bummed about it.”

  They sat in silence, and Lisbeth stared at herself in the mirror. Even from this distance, she could see the dark circles of exhaustion under her eyes. Before either woman could say much more, the rest of the class began to trickle in. Lisbeth struggled to her feet and made room for Erika to stand next to her.

  “Thank you all for making the trek here in this crappy weather,” Carolyn said. She hit play on the remote, and music filtered from the sound system as they started the breathing exercises.

  Lisbeth fought to get into the triangle pose but couldn’t steady herself. Her stomach impeded progress. After a few unsuccessful tries, she stood and took a drink of water. Shannon wasn’t doing all of the poses, either. Probably best to not aggravate her blood pressure. Still, Lisbeth wished she could participate more fully. When they moved to the floor poses, she found it easier and held them longer to make up for the standing poses.

  Lisbeth took her time leaving the studio once class finished. She didn’t want to leave the calm and have to face her troubles out in the real world. Once she crossed the threshold, all of her family issues would tumble back at her. She expected everyone else to be gone when she got to the changing rooms but found Renee, Erika, and Shannon waiting for her.

  “Am I in trouble?” she asked with a smile.

  “No. We we’re going to Starbucks. You want to join us?” Renee said.

  “Sure. Let me get changed.”

  “I’m dying for some hot chocolate,” Shannon said as Lisbeth stepped inside a stall.

  “That sounds amazing,” Lisbeth said as she pulled her sweatpants on over her workout shorts. She pulled on a hooded sweatshirt and slipped back into her sneakers.

  They traipsed through the snow to their cars. Lisbeth waited for Shannon to pull out behind her, and they formed a caravan down the street that ended up at Starbucks near Chinatown. Right near my apartment. Perfect. They ordered drinks and took over one of the biggest tables in the corner.

  Lisbeth watched people hustling along the sidewalk with umbrellas over their heads and hoods pulled, nearly covering their faces. Good old New England weather finally delivering.

  “So is anyone else finding it harder to do yoga?” she asked.

  “Yes,” a chorus of voices answered.

  “I can’t believe some of the women can still do it right up until their due date,” Renee said.

  “I can barely see my toes anymore, and I’m barely twenty weeks,” Lisbeth said, sipping her hot chocolate.

  “Well, don’t worry,
your feet are still there,” Shannon assured her with a smile.

  They sat around the table, sipping their drinks, for a while longer. Lisbeth basked in the natural feeling around her. She felt comfortable spending time with these women. Lisbeth looked around the table just as Shannon’s phone rang. She looked at it and pulled on her coat.

  “Sorry to drink and run, but I have to pick up the kids from school. We should definitely do this again.”

  “What about Friday?” Erika suggested.

  “I’m free after noon,” Lisbeth answered.

  “If it’s more like appetizers, I’d be in,” Renee said.

  “Great. We’ll definitely have to do it,” Shannon said and ducked out of the coffee shop.

  Lisbeth traced the top of her now-empty cup. I should call Mom and Dad, make them understand who I am. Across the table, Erika and Renee sat coordinating their TV schedules for the rest of the week. It seemed important to them, but Lisbeth wasn’t interested. Finally, she stood and stretched.

  “I’ll see you girls later. I need to get off my feet. And maybe take a nap.”

  “Oh, a nap sounds amazing,” Renee agreed.

  Lisbeth hugged her friends and headed out the door. She pulled her coat closer and climbed into her car. Driving around the block to head in the right direction, she pulled into the lot of her building. As she stepped into the warmth of the lobby and let out her breath, she yanked keys from her purse and checked the mail.

  “Hey, Lisbeth,” the security guard at the front desk called as she started for the elevator.

  “Yeah?”

  “You’ve got a visitor.”

  “I do?”

  “Yeah. I sent them up about ten minutes ago.”

  “No one’s home.”

  “I told her that, but she insisted on going up. She kept complaining about the cold air coming through every time the door opened.”

  Lisbeth nodded and bit her lip as she pressed the up button on the elevator. She had a sinking feeling she knew who her visitor was. The doors slid open, and she stepped inside. Lisbeth counted the floors in her head until she reached her floor. Anything to keep her calm. She rounded the corner and stopped. Standing at her door was her sister, Elena.

 

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