Rachel's Pudding Pantry

by Caroline Roberts

  It was time for Rachel to say a few words. As she stood up in front of the gathering, she felt a little nervous, her heart hammering in her chest.

  ‘Hello … hello.’ It was hard getting everyone’s attention to start.

  A hush began to fall across the room, except for Maisy shouting, ‘Shush, we need to listen to Mummy.’

  The gathering chuckled at that.

  ‘Thanks, Maisy. I think that’s done the trick!’ Rachel smiled, then took a slow breath before starting her speech. This felt like such a momentous day. ‘Well, here we are at the opening of the Pudding Pantry at Primrose Farm. Thank you all for coming this afternoon.’

  All eyes were upon her now. She needed to get these words right. She had written something down in bed late last night, but wanted it to come from the heart, not a sheet of paper. She smiled, calming herself, as she gathered her thoughts.

  ‘So, a lot of hard work has gone into getting this project ready to open on time, and we’ve had such fabulous support from friends and the local community here, so thank you very much. A few people I especially want to thank are my mum Jill, my lovely friend Eve, wonderful Granny Ruth, Maisy and Amelia – my little helpers – and Tom our neighbour. Oh yes, and Brenda too, for supporting our puddings from the start, four months ago now, and selling them in the Deli when we weren’t quite sure which direction we were going to take. Thanks to Ian and Dan our builders for the amazing job they’ve done here too. A total transformation.’ The lads had managed to get to the launch and they nodded their appreciation, Ian giving a big thumbs up.

  There was a small round of applause and a few whoops from the crowd.

  ‘It’s been a difficult few years … as you well know.’ Rachel felt a lump form in her throat then but managed to carry on after giving a small cough. ‘Me and Mum, well we wanted to make something positive happen here. A new start. A new direction for Primrose Farm.’

  A loud ‘Hear, hear’ came from someone in the audience and Rachel was surprised to see Old Mr Mac at the back of the barn, who was nodding as he spoke, wishing them well. Damn it, the grumpy old bastard was bringing a tear to her eye now. She swallowed and managed to say, ‘So thank you all. Oh, and please spread the word about the Pudding Pantry after today, that would be amazing. Please help yourself to more Pimm’s – and puddings of course!’

  A glass was thrust into her hand by Eve, who whispered, ‘Well done,’ just as Jill moved forward to add a few last words. ‘A huge heartfelt thank you from me too … to my very special and determined daughter, Rachel, for making this happen, and for everything you’ve all done for our family here at Primrose Farm over the years. Cheers folks!’

  ‘Cheers.’

  ‘Cheers!’ Tom raised his voice and his glass. ‘To the Pudding Pantry.’ He caught Rachel’s eye, and held her gaze for a moment. ‘And to Jill and Rachel.’

  More ‘Cheers’ and chatter followed, and the party resumed with great gusto.

  Rachel rubbed her sleeve under her eyes; boy had all the emotions sneaked up on her, having everyone there wishing them well. Jill gave her back a small reassuring rub, a silent comforting gesture that she’d done for Rachel since childhood. Rachel then spotted Tom smile across at her with what looked like pride in his eyes.

  With Palmer-Pilkington and several of the more formal guests now away, Jill and Rachel began to feel more relaxed. The pudding platters had been enjoyed and were reassuringly depleted. Eve poured the two of them another large glass of Pimm’s each – they certainly deserved it – as well as topping up their remaining guests. Most of the group were now standing outside the barn enjoying the warmth of the summer’s afternoon, though the clouds had once again started to gather above.

  Rachel came to stand next to Jill. ‘Well, that all seemed to go off pretty well, Mum.’

  ‘Yes love, really well, I’d say. Everyone seemed to enjoy it.’

  ‘Hah – except for Vanessa moaning about my cake.’

  ‘Ah, don’t worry yourself about her. She’d not be happy if she didn’t have something to moan about. Has a face like a Rottweiler on her, that woman.’

  Rachel couldn’t help but laugh at that.

  Heavy grey clouds soon began to darken the sky, and as a few spots of rain started to fall, everyone made a dash for the barn to take shelter. It really was a typical English summer’s day, filled with a mix of sunshine and showers, but it hadn’t spoilt the event in any way – nothing could, in fact.

  Now the remaining guests were sheltering in the barn together, Eve rapped a dessert spoon onto the wooden counter top, to get everyone’s attention.

  ‘Excuse me. Hello … I just have a little something to say and a presentation to make.’

  Ooh, Rachel didn’t know anything about this. What was Eve up to? Was it something to do with her crafts, she mused. She looked across at her mum who shrugged her shoulders. They were both evidently in the dark on this.

  ‘Okay,’ Eve started, ‘so, we all know that life has been very hard for these two lovely ladies lately, and I just want to say that as well as being my absolute best friends, they are a true inspiration. What they’ve done here on the farm, keeping it all going, and now this, creating this gorgeous Pudding Pantry despite everything, it’s … well, it’s just amazing. You two have achieved so much in such a short space of time.’

  There were lots of ‘Hear hears’ and a round of applause went up.

  Rachel found herself welling up. She knew she should have put on the waterproof mascara this morning. She looked at her mum who was definitely a bit teary too.

  ‘Well, several of us here have got together as we wanted to give you a little gift to help you on your way … So, without further ado, here you are.’ Eve’s husband Ben made his way through the group carrying a largish box, followed by Tom with another of the same size.

  ‘Careful,’ Eve warned. ‘It’s breakable.’

  The lads put the boxes down on the floor in front of Jill and Rachel who knelt down and started to open a box each, both of them smiling and curious. As Rachel pulled open the cardboard lid, all was suddenly apparent. Crystal glass in teardrop shapes caught the light … the chandeliers. OMG. She gasped, then had a little blub, and needed a tissue passing to her.

  ‘Oh Eve … everyone, oh my, they are just perfect. But … how did you know which ones?’ She had taken one of the lights out carefully now.

  Eve was smiling broadly. ‘I made a mental note, then found and saved the image you’d showed me on Instagram. Just in case, you know.’

  ‘But they were so expensive,’ Rachel continued.

  ‘Not when we shared the costs between a few of us.’

  Rachel looked around at the others there, who were now grinning broadly – friends, parents from school, guests from the farming community, Brenda, Granny Ruth, Tom …

  ‘Thank you. Thank you all so much. I can hardly believe it.’ Rachel felt almost giddy.

  ‘We thought it’d give the Pudding Pantry that little extra sparkle, that final touch,’ added Eve. ‘Not that it really needs it, mind, as it looks gorgeous already.’

  ‘What a wonderful gift,’ said Jill, clutching her own tissue. ‘Thank you all so much.’

  ‘Wow … well then,’ Rachel announced. ‘Let’s carry on with the celebrations. Cheers folks.’

  More puddings and pavlovas were passed around. There was still some Pimm’s left. The teapot was refilled, and their friends chatted, some sat at the tables inside whilst others ventured back out again with the sun peeping through once more. Maisy and Amelia and some of the other children were happily playing in the garden, sliding bottoms on raindrops down the slide and giggling away.

  With a few happy stragglers remaining, mostly close friends and family, Rachel and Jill started to clear away the debris. It was now after 6 p.m., blimey how the time had flown. As she came out of the barn bearing a stack of plates to be returned to the farmhouse kitchen, Rachel didn’t hear the van pull up at the edge of the yard.

  ‘R
achel.’

  The voice stopped her in her tracks. The plates in her hands wobbled precariously. It was a voice from the past. A shock.

  ‘Oh …’ Rachel froze for a moment, taking in the sandy-blond hair, the frame that was shorter than she remembered, the cool blue eyes.

  Just then Maisy, curious at a new arrival, skipped up to her mum’s side.

  ‘Who are you?’ she asked, ready to go and fetch more cake for the newcomer at the party.

  ‘Hi Maisy, I’m your daddy.’

  From the stunned look on Maisy’s face, if she had been carrying a plate it would definitely have dropped to the ground right then.

  Chapter 27

  BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR

  For a little girl whose wishes had finally come true, Maisy didn’t know quite what to do.

  A strange man was standing in front of her telling her that he was her daddy. But he wasn’t like the daddies at school or in the park playground. He wasn’t full of hugs and hand-holds and pushes on the swings. He didn’t even have any sweets with him.

  ‘Hey, Maisy.’ He switched on a smile, as he leaned towards her to ruffle her blonde hair. ‘You okay?’

  The little girl nodded shyly from the safe-zone by her mother’s legs, but she didn’t speak.

  ‘She’s probably just a bit overwhelmed,’ Rachel explained. Aren’t we all? She heard the tension in her own voice as she spoke – strained and mechanical. Her legs were rooted to the spot. She willed her brain into action, to act normally, for Maisy’s sake. ‘We’ve all had a long day with the opening of the barn as a tearoom today. She’s been great helping out, haven’t you, Maisy? So, it’s been a busy day. And, obviously we weren’t expecting you,’ she added pointedly.

  ‘Got a week off, thought I’d pop up and see my little girl.’

  ‘Nice of you to let us know you were coming,’ Rachel fired back sarcastically.

  ‘Ah, it was just one of those last-minute things. You know.’

  Rachel didn’t know.

  ‘Ah, Maisy, why don’t you run along and find Grandma a minute? See if she needs some more help clearing up, sweetie.’

  ‘Okay.’ Maisy, in her confusion, seemed relieved to go.

  The bloody cheek of him. She would never just turn up unannounced to meet a child she hadn’t bothered to see for over two years. In fact, not seeing her own child for two years full stop was too crazy to contemplate. She was hyper-wary of this guy who’d left their lives almost immediately once Maisy was born, bar one or two casual visits. Jake had never been around when the going got tough, and now he had the cheek to turn up unannounced. Yes, she realised he’d have rights as a father, but he certainly hadn’t earned them.

  ‘Well, are you going to ask me in?’

  ‘I suppose …’ Rachel’s tone was reluctant as she gestured towards the barn. He’d caught her completely off guard, and she was struggling to make sense of this. ‘A tea, coffee …?’

  ‘You don’t have a cold beer, do you? I’ve been driving for hours.’

  ‘Ah, I’m not sure.’ Was he expecting to be waited on? For her to slip back into an old rhythm where she’d do whatever he wanted? Well, if that’s what he thought, he had another think coming. ‘Umn, there’s possibly one over in the farmhouse fridge. But I’m busy just now, I’ll go check in a while.’

  She found that she didn’t want to explain exactly why they were busy – about the launch party and their new business – and didn’t want him knowing about their current lives. In fact, she didn’t want him to go strolling into their home fetching himself a beer, either.

  ‘Actually, I’ll go get that beer now, if you just hang on here a sec …’ She felt distinctly uneasy and glanced about to find Jill, hoping that Maisy had located her grandma. She spotted them and noted the look of surprise and the frown that had formed across her mother’s face at the sight of their unexpected guest.

  ‘So, are you just up for the week?’ Rachel wanted to clarify just how long her ex might be around.

  ‘Yeah, something like that.’ As vague and non-committal as ever.

  ‘Hello, Jake.’ Jill walked over to them after leaving Maisy in Eve’s care. ‘So, you’re back.’

  Most of the guests had now left, bar Tom, Eve and her family, and Granny Ruth who was staying the night with them in the spare room. Oh, and of course Jake, who looked rather too comfortable, ensconced on the garden bench with a bottle of lager whilst watching Maisy and Amelia play.

  Ben, Eve’s husband, who’d known Jake briefly from their school years, had been across and had a few words with him, but he and Eve were now helping with the clearing up. Rachel stood for a few seconds as she came out of the barn, and watched. She had enough on her plate today without having to make pleasantries with this guy. She really didn’t know how she felt about this new development … extreme unease was probably the overriding emotion just now.

  It was such a shock intrusion into her and Maisy’s world, and she had no idea how it might work out. Did Jake now want a part in his daughter’s life? Was it going to be a regular thing? Might he even want Maisy to go and stay or see him wherever he was currently living? It was all too big and uncertain for Rachel to grasp or deal with right now … she was exhausted and emotionally drained after the energy she’d put into today. The Pudding Pantry launch had gone even better than they could have imagined. They were up and running and ready, and the support from their friends and the local community was wonderful. She felt positive and, yes, happy. She would not let Jake, of all people, put a dampener on that.

  ‘You okay?’ Tom found her where she stood by the farmhouse door.

  ‘Ah, yes I think so. It’s just been such a full-on day.’

  ‘Yeah, you and your mum have done brilliantly here. I’m sure it’ll be a success for you, I wish you all the best.’

  ‘I hope so.’ She was still keeping a close eye on how Maisy was reacting with her dad around. She’d already ‘shown him off’ to Amelia once the initial shyness had faded.

  Tom followed Rachel’s gaze. ‘I feel like I know that guy. Your ex by any chance?’

  ‘Yes. How did you guess?’ Her tone was flat.

  ‘Just seemed to add up. He hasn’t been around much for Maisy though, has he?’

  ‘No, not so far, the bloody idiot. I have to admit I kind of liked it that way though.’ The words slipped out. ‘Sorry, that probably sounds really selfish. But if you knew him, how unreliable he is … I just don’t want to see Maisy hurt, that he’ll let her down again.’

  ‘Yeah, I can understand that.’

  She felt Tom’s hand rest gently on her shoulder. It said, ‘I’m here for you,’ or that’s what she imagined right then. It took her back to that moment in the hay field – that connection between them. Was it just friendship? Could it ever be more than that?

  Oh, good grief, what was she even thinking? Whoa, there were so many thoughts spinning in her head, she couldn’t begin to sort through them.

  ‘Right, well I’d better be going then. You take care, Rachel. Well done on today again.’ His glance strayed to Maisy and Jake. ‘And you know where I am if you need anything.’

  ‘I know. Thank you.’

  If only Rachel knew what she needed herself – that might help.

  Chapter 28

  A CONFLAB OVER A CUPPA

  As dusk descended, the sky fading into soft hues of mauve and pink, Rachel looked out of the farmhouse kitchen window, watching Jake on the garden bench and Maisy playing on her slide. Even though it was the school holidays, she was well aware it was way past Maisy’s bedtime. It was time for Jake to make a move to wherever he planned on staying. (Rachel hoped he did have a plan and his back-up didn’t include staying with them – as that was never going to happen.)

  She made her way out to the garden. ‘Hey, Maisy, it’s time for teeth-brushing and bed,’ she called out. She spotted her daughter’s brown-soled bare feet. Ah, she probably ought to give her daughter a quick shower too. She hoped Jake would
take the hint and make his move.

  ‘Aw …’ Maisy screwed up her face in protest, but Rachel could see just how tired her little girl really was.

  ‘Five more minutes won’t hurt,’ Jake countered.

  Hah – who the hell did he think he was waltzing in unannounced and now giving extended bedtimes?! Rachel fumed. She bit her lip before answering. ‘Actually, it’s an hour past Maisy’s bedtime, after what’s been an incredibly busy day, so it really is time for bed. So, Jake, where are you staying?’ she asked pointedly.

  ‘Ah, I’ve got a B&B in mind.’

  He sounded deliberately vague. It obviously wasn’t booked.

  ‘Can I see Maisy again tomorrow? Would you like that, Maiz?’

  ‘Yes!’ She beamed. She’d found her daddy at last and, after her initial shyness, she was clearly bursting with excitement.

  ‘Yeah, I’d like to take her out for the day. Maybe down to the beach. Do you like the beach, Maisy?’

  ‘Yes. Can I, Mummy?’ The eagerness in her daughter’s voice was almost painful to hear, but Rachel couldn’t shake off her wariness. Did Jake have any experience with kids at all? Should she just let her little girl go off with him when he’d only turned up today? Was he responsible enough? Maisy was only five years old after all.

  Rachel really wanted to chat this new development through with her mum, but she was faced with a dilemma with two eager faces wanting her answer now.

  ‘Umm, look … Maisy, can you pop to the house and see Grandma for a minute? She was going to start the shower off for you, I think.’ A little white lie to give her a chance to talk with Jake alone.

  ‘O-kay.’ Maisy lumbered off the slide. ‘See you tomorrow, Da …’ she paused, not quite sure what to call him just yet. That moment of confusion alone broke Rachel’s heart.

  ‘Yeah, I can’t wait, sweetheart.’ He grinned, then as soon as she was out of earshot, his tone changed. ‘So …? What is it?’