by Kennedy Fox
“Ooh yes, we definitely need to go! Ranch hands galore! Not to mention, Mrs. Bishop has four sons of her own!”
“Yes, but two are taken,” she states.
“That leaves the twins,” Gigi interrupts with a laugh, though I’m not sure what’s so funny. This is starting to feel like a meat market, and I’m on display.
“No setups,” I blurt. “I’m fully capable of finding my own dates,” I tell Gigi and Kat, though I don’t even believe my own words.
“Clearly.” Kat snorts, jerking her head toward Riley.
“I never said they were age appropriate,” I mock.
“Well still, you should come out before you leave, okay?” Mrs. Bishop insists.
“Sure, that’d be great,” I say to appease her.
Once Riley has tapped out and is on a full-out sugar high, Mrs. Bishop concludes that’s her cue to leave and get him home before he starts jumping off the walls. Gigi, Kat, and I leave shortly after, and as we’re driving home, I think about Cade and how fast his life is moving now and wonder if I’ve been holding back all this time waiting on something that was never mine.
Chapter Six
JOHN
“What’s this?” I ask when River holds out a book as thick as the Bible. I fell asleep in the rocking chair again with Maize on my chest. I felt a tap, and when I peeled my eyes open, River was standing in front of me.
“What to Expect the First Year,” she answers, setting it on my lap and taking Maize from me. “It was my saving grace with Riley. There’s a ton of information, and it’ll help ease your mind by answering some basic questions you might have. Talks about milestones and all that too.”
I blink a few times, trying to wake myself up, though it’s late and Maize’s bedtime, which means I should go to bed while she sleeps because it’ll only be a matter of hours before she’s up again.
“Oh, well, thank you.” I scan my eyes over the cover and flip through the pages. “I need all the help I can get.” I release a deep breath. I’m currently living on the three hours of sleep I got last night and can barely keep my eyes open.
“Speaking of help, why don’t you get some?” she asks pointedly, rocking her body back and forth as she snuggles Maize to her chest.
Furrowing my brows, I give her a look and huff. “Are you offerin’?”
“Sure, let’s trade. Riley’s already into the terrible twos.”
“The terrible twos?” That doesn’t sound good at all.
“That’ll be in the next book.” She chuckles. “But seriously, you can’t keep going on like this. It’s been almost a month, and you’re doing this alone—all night long. You have bags under your eyes, you’re running on zero energy, and you can’t possibly think that’s best for Maize.”
I sigh, already over this conversation. I’ve heard it plenty. Mama watches her while I sneak into work for a couple of hours each day, but other than that, it’s just been Maize and me from the beginning.
“It’s only been a month,” I remind her. “I’m still adjusting to her schedule.”
“Exactly my point, John,” she says. “But you have to eventually go back to work full-time. We all know Jackson can’t run the B&B for shit, and Alex and Dylan can only take over Jackson’s work for so long. You’re going to burn everyone out, including yourself.”
“Well, aren’t you Miss Pessimistic.” I grunt.
“More like Mrs. Reality,” she retorts. “Plus, you’re really becoming a cockblock since my husband comes home dead tired every night and passes out the second his head hits the pillow. Or maybe it’s a vagina block?” She thinks to herself, and I’m completely lost. “Whatever. Either way, I’m not getting laid, and it’s your fault.”
“I’m…sorry?” I offer, not really sure how this conversation turned into her and my brother’s sex life, which is weirding me out.
“You should be. I’m trying to give you another niece or nephew, and that’s pretty impossible when I’m not getting any.” The tone in her voice is bitter, and I hold back a chuckle when I think about my brother being too tired for sex, considering she got pregnant within the first two weeks they met. Her blonde hair is pulled up into one of those messy knots, and by the death glare she’s shooting at me, I know she’s serious.
“You’re trying to get pregnant?” Definitely news to me.
“Yeah, well, not preventing, but kind of trying. Between our crazy work schedules, it doesn’t give us a lot of time, so when I greet my husband in lingerie, and he’s too tired to even rip it off, I take it a little personally.”
I scoff, really wishing she would change the subject. “You know it’s not because of you. This is a busy time on the ranch, trying to get everything ready for early spring.” I brush my hand through my hair, pushing the longer strands on one side to the back and out of my eyes.
“Every time is a busy time of year,” she says robotically as if she’s heard it time and time again. “But this isn’t helping, and you know you can’t keep going on like this. Get some help so you can actually be a dad to Maize instead of a zombie.”
“She just needs to get on a sleeping schedule, and then I’ll be fine.”
“And then what? You’re just going to wear her on your chest all day long as you do schedules and make coffee at the B&B?” She quirks a brow, and I know she’s right, but I don’t tell her that.
“Well, I was hoping Mama would watch her when I’m back to work full-time, but I’d like to be able to pop in at home and see her during my breaks, but I guess that’s not really an option since she has Riley during the day right now.”
“And once Emily goes back to work, Mama already volunteered to watch their baby too.”
“So what are my options? Hire a babysitter?” I ask, hoping she has all the answers because she’s acting like she does. I know she means well; I’m just too tired for a dose of honesty right now.
“Babysitter or nanny. Someone who can stay at the house while you work so you can just walk over and visit during your shifts. Someone who knows about babies and can help get Maize on a good schedule for you, so you don’t look like the walking dead. Then that way you aren’t far away, and you can keep an eye on them,” she replies. “Plus, I’m pretty sure your mama is already on a mission to find you someone, whether you agree to it or not.”
Groaning out in frustration, I scrub a hand over my jaw. “Shit. Knowing Mama, she’ll send a nanny, housekeeper, and the National Guard to come in and help me.”
“I honestly wouldn’t put anything past that woman.” She quietly laughs, and I do, too, because Mama is predictable in that she’s unpredictable.
“So let’s say I agree to get someone to come help. How am I going to even find someone qualified and trustworthy?”
“Well…” She snickers. “It’s the twenty-first century. Welcome to Google and nanny services. They do full background checks and interviews. Or if you don’t want to hire a stranger, I’m sure someone around here knows someone who’s good with babies.”
“Okay, well, I’ll start looking online tomorrow and see what I can find,” I tell her to put her at ease.
She hands Maize back to me and kisses her little chubby cheek. “You better because if I don’t see my husband and get a baby out of this, I’m comin’ back for you.” She points her finger at me, and I roll my eyes at her threat.
Once Maize’s asleep in the co-sleeper, I make myself something to eat and think about what River said. Grabbing the heavy-as-hell book she left me, I open it to the first chapter and begin reading.
An hour later, I’m in bed with the book and thinking about how I’m going to continue living like this. I know Mama only wants what’s best for me, and River is only saying what’s true, but that doesn’t help me in knowing what to do. Maize’s still so new in my life, and I’m so terrified I’m going to screw this up for her. Alex tells me every dad feels that way, but I feel it on a deeper level because she’s already lost so much.
It’s 3:00 a.m. and Maize�
��s screaming her lungs out. Every time she wakes up in the middle of the night, it scares the shit out of me. You’d think after three weeks, I’d be used to being woken up by her, but I’m always in such a dead sleep that it nearly has me jumping out of bed in a panic.
“We need to get you on a better sleep schedule, Little Miss,” I tell her as I walk us toward the kitchen. “Daddy needs more than a few hours.” In my half-asleep daze, I stub my toe on the leg of the dining table, and a variety of curse words fly out of my mouth. “Son of a bitch, that hurt.”
Maize doesn’t give me an ounce of pity as she continues crying, and I hop on one foot. I do my best to one-hand prep her bottle and warm up the water before mixing the formula in. As soon as I start shaking it up, liquid goes everywhere. On the walls, ceiling, cupboards, floor, and me. It’s then I realize I forgot to put the lid on.
“Shit!” I slam the bottle down on the counter and look at the mess. I’m so goddamn tired, and with Maize bellowing in my ear, I can’t think straight.
“What in the hell happened here?” Jackson comes stumbling in wearing only his boxers and a blonde attached to his arm in nothing but one of his T-shirts. Just fucking great.
“Oh my goodness, what an adorable baby!” the blonde says in an English accent, taking me by complete surprise. “Is she yours?”
“That’s what everyone says, but she’s too cute to be his,” Jackson blurts out, and I’m ready to smack him for his smartass comment when I realize Maize has stopped crying.
“Can you take her for a second, so I can clean this up quick and get her a bottle?” I hate asking Jackson for help or, rather, anyone in general, but I can’t do this one-handed again.
“I’d be happy to hold her,” the blonde says.
“Sorry, no disrespect, but I don’t know you, so I’d rather not,” I tell her, handing Maize over to Jackson instead.
“Sure, I totally understand. I’m Hanna, by the way.” By the look on Jackson’s face, he hadn’t even known that was her name. Or perhaps he just stopped listening once she gave him a second of attention.
“I’m John. And I assume you know my twin brother, Jackson?” I tease.
“Twins? And you live together? How sweet!” She beams.
“Well I tried gettin’ rid of him, but he just keeps comin’ back…kind of like a stray dog,” I quip, walking back to the mess and cleaning it up.
“Don’t listen to him, Maze.” Jackson rocks back and forth. “It’s all lies.”
Hanna watches him with doe-eyes. Jackson may be a lot of things, but he’s actually really good with kids and even Maize.
Once I have everything wiped clean, I prepare another bottle and this time screw on the top before shaking it and testing the temperature.
“Thanks,” I say, reaching for Maize and taking her from Jackson so I can finally feed her. “Sorry to wake you.”
“No worries,” Jackson says then wraps his arm around Hanna and pulls her in for a kiss, which I could’ve lived without witnessing. “We weren’t sleeping anyway.” He winks, and I fight the urge to roll my eyes.
Hanna giggles when Jackson picks her up and carries her to the kitchen table then sets her down.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” I groan. “I eat breakfast there.”
“Well, then you might not wanna watch what I’m about to eat—”
“Jackson!” Hanna squeals, swatting his bare chest. I take that as my cue to get the hell out of here.
“And now breakfast is ruined for me,” I mumble to myself, taking Maize back to my room. As she’s sucking down her bottle, I get a whiff of something that I know is coming from her.
Laying her down on the bed, I prop her bottle up against my pillow so I can change her while she continues to eat. If I take it away from her now, she’ll scream the entire time, and I need to get us both back to sleep before I completely lose my mind.
“Why are there so many damn buttons on this sleeper thing?” I ask aloud while trying to maneuver her chubby legs out of her pajamas. The smell gets worse, making my eyes water like a damn pussy. “In one end and out the other,” I joke, but Maize doesn’t even look at me. “What? You can’t appreciate a good dad joke yet?”
Chuckling to myself and realizing just how exhausted I must be to tell jokes to my three-month-old baby is an indication as to just how sleep deprived I am. Between stopping in at the B&B, keeping up with laundry, dishes, and other household chores, as well as getting up with her every few hours, I’m second-guessing my sanity.
Just as I undo her diaper, I realize the sight is much worse than the smell.
Complete. Massive. Blowout.
That’s what I get for trying to get her bottle before changing her.
Fuck my life.
I manage to get her footie pjs off while carefully trying not to knock the bottle over. It’s then I notice the blowout has completely gone up her back, and it’s the exact moment Maize decides to kick her legs.
“Maize, no.” I groan, torn between crying and laughing at the entire situation. “Okay then. Bath time.”
I pick her up without a diaper or jammies and head to the bathroom. Normally, I’d wash her off in the kitchen sink, but I’m not going to subject Maize to what Jackson and Hanna are probably doing on my kitchen table.
Just the thought of them in there right now boils my blood all over again.
Reaching for the shower hose, I turn the water on and wait for the water to warm up before stepping into the shower and rinsing her off. I hold her to my chest and try to hum to her, so she doesn’t scream again. Luckily, I was only in boxers, so I don’t have to worry about being drenched.
When we’re both rinsed and dried, I put Maize in a new diaper and a clean pair of footie pajamas, then tuck her back into the co-sleeper. She sucks on her pacifier and is back to sleep in five minutes.
Falling back onto my pillow, I exhale in relief. Turning to look at the time on my phone, I see it’s right after four in the morning. Shit.
Maybe River and everyone else are right.
I need help.
Chapter Seven
MILA
The moment I wake up, I dress in a pair of shorts and a T-shirt for a morning run. Considering Gigi’s delicious homemade cooking and all the baking she does, I’ll easily gain twenty pounds eating her food. As soon as I heard the roosters crow this morning, I got up for another gorgeous day. It’s nice not to have any responsibility other than helping around the ranch. Though it’s work, it doesn’t really feel like it because I enjoy it so much.
The brisk morning air brushes across my skin, but once I’m warmed up, I want to start removing layers of clothes. After an intense three-mile run from the house to the end of the rock road and back, I feel exhilarated.
As soon as I walk inside the house, I’ve got my arms on top of my head, trying to catch my breath. I hear Gigi in the kitchen on the phone, and as soon as she sees me, she flashes a smile and waves me over.
“Yeah, Rose. She actually just walked in. You wanna talk to her?”
I’m confused, but take the phone when she hands it over.
“Hello?” I politely say, just as Gigi places bacon in a hot iron skillet. The hearty smell fills the kitchen, and my stomach begins to growl as the meat sizzles and pops.
“Good mornin’, sweetie. This is Rose Bishop. We met at the church fundraiser last week.”
I nod as if she can see me. The one with the feisty grandchild. “Yes, ma’am. I remember.”
“Well, I noticed how great you were with Riley and how well he took to you. I’m looking for a nanny, and your grandma told me you might be looking for a job, too, so I thought I’d call and see whatcha think.”
I look at Gigi, but she just keeps humming along as she flips the bacon. She’s so guilty. She knows I’m supposed to leave in a week, so I’m sure this has something to do with trying to keep me in Texas longer.
“Okay,” I say. “Well, can you tell me more about the position?”
“Oh, a
bsolutely. My son needs some help with his three-month-old baby girl. She’s the most precious little angel you’ve ever laid eyes on, but she’s not on any kind of sleeping schedule and is just as stubborn as he is. He needs to get back to work and needs someone to watch her during the day and possibly some nights too.” She starts off sounding like a proud grandma, but her tone quickly changes halfway through the sentence. At that moment, I know I never want to cross Mrs. Bishop. She’s as bad as Gigi. Sweet as pie but has a scary side too.
“I love babies,” I admit. I love everything about them—the way they smell, how they’re so vulnerable, their little coos, and how precious they look when they sleep. Heck, I even think their cries are cute.
“Your grandma told me all the experience you have with kids and how you just graduated with a degree in elementary education. Then seeing the way you handled Riley at the cakewalk, you’d honestly be a godsend for my son.”
Considering I haven’t heard anything back from any of the schools I’ve applied to, it seems like it would be a good opportunity for me to earn some extra cash. And since there’s nothing or no one waiting for me back home, I could stay here longer.
“Can I think about it?” I finally ask.
“Oh sure, honey. Take as much time as you need,” Mrs. Bishop says before we end our conversation. I set the phone down on the counter and look at Gigi with raised brows.
“What?” she asks, pulling the bacon from the skillet and placing it on a plate. She grabs a few eggs, cracks them, and then begins frying them in the bacon grease.
“You know what!” I say.
She shrugs and gives me a wink. “I’m supposed to fly home next week,” I explain.
“To do what, exactly?” She narrows her eyes at me, but her smile doesn’t fade.
“I guess nothing.” I shrug. “Might be nice to get some extra job experience.”
“So you’re staying?” she asks, flipping the eggs, cooking them exactly the way I like. Once the eggs are finished, she slides them on a plate with the bacon and hands it to me.