by Lisa Shelby
“Why do you want to do this?” she asks still sounding as puzzled as she did when I first arrived.
“What can I say, I’m a sucker for a pretty girl. You’d have to pry me away from this little princess. Now finish your lunch and go study.”
With this I have effectively ended the conversation.
Roses
Emily
How in the world am I supposed to study and focus on anything other than Jonathan in the other room with Ireland? I still can’t figure out what he’s doing here. Why does he want to spend his Saturday with a four-year old and her single mom who sits in the other room studying? I know the image I’ve kept of him from years ago has been glorified with time. But now . . . the real him . . . the him that is actually here . . . that Jonathan is exceeding all of my dreams of him. I am so confused.
After giving myself an internal pep talk, hours have gone by and I was actually able to get a lot done. I told myself that I needed to get through this school work to make a better life for Ireland and that was what I needed to focus on. Not boys. I close my book and get up to go check on the new BFF’s. When I get to her doorway, I see her fast asleep on her bed and Jonathan sitting in her tiny little bean bag chair playing a game on his phone.
“Bored yet?” I whisper.
“Nope,” he whispers back.
“You can head home now. I got all my studying done,” I say as I motion for him to join me with a nod of my head.
He gets up and walks out of the room, and I follow him into the kitchen. He helps himself to a glass of water and drinks it down before replying to my statement about him leaving.
“I was thinking, I could run home real quick, feed Frances, take her for a little walk and then come back with some pizzas and we could have a movie night.”
“Jonathan, what are you doing?”
“Just keeping you safe. We still need to talk about these threats, Em. We’ll do that later though. So, I’ll head out and be back in an hour or so, sound good?”
“Jonathan, I don’t need a babysitter. You don’t have to hang out just because my big brother asked you to check on me.”
“This has nothing to do with Mick. I want to spend time with you and I won’t be able to function if I know you two are here alone. So let me do this, okay?”
“Okay.”
Jonathan should be back any minute and I’m one frazzled woman. I don’t know what to do with myself. As soon as Jonathan left I finally hopped into the shower, put on real clothes, did my hair and added a touch of make-up.
I cannot believe that he caught me wearing his shirt. I saw the moment it connected in his brain and how he tried to hide his smile, but of course couldn’t keep it hidden. I was mortified and waiting for the smart ass comments to start flying my way, but he didn’t make it a big deal. He made his little comment to acknowledge that he noticed, but didn’t accuse me of stealing or any other embarrassing thing he could have come up with.
I still can’t believe he spent his day off sitting in Ireland’s room playing with her and just hanging out while she napped. What guy does that? I know he said he wanted to try and that he wanted to get to know Ireland too, but he’s actually doing it. I guess his words weren’t hollow pick-up lines and he actually meant them. It also looks like he isn’t taking no for an answer, but he also isn’t making any moves. Is this all just a friendly gesture or does this mean he’s still trying for more? Do I want more?
Emily, don’t be stupid . . . of course you want more. Now what are you going to do about it?
“Mommy, do you think Jonafon will like my dress?” Ireland asks as she does a twirl in her Princess Elsa dress. She is so sweet and kind and I really don’t want her heart to get broken this early. Do I subject her to also falling in love with Jonathan knowing full well that he could leave one day and leave us both broken-hearted?
I don’t get to answer the thought in my head because there’s a knock on the door. I take one final glance at myself and decide my skinny jeans and lose sweater will have to do . . .
I check the peep-hole and there he is with pizza just like he promised. Talking a calming breath, I unlock the door and open it to dimples. I haven’t seen much of his elusive dimples since seeing him again, and I must say it is quite a panty-dropping sight.
“Sorry sir, but we didn’t order any pizza,” I play with him but it’s really just to hide my nerves.
“I know you didn’t ma’am but I did. You see there are these two really cute girls that I’m trying to impress. I thought I could win them over with pizza.”
I don’t reply because in my head all I can think is that he just said I was cute and he was trying to impress me. Well, me and my four-year old but still . . . cue butterflies. . . .
“I drove all the way to Sparky’s to pick it up and I got two kinds just to be safe. Do you think my plan will work?”
I lean on the door and shake my head. “You really are too much, you know that?”
“Ah, you love it and you know it. Now let me in woman!” he jokes as he pushes past me.
He’s right, I really do love it. I love all of it. His protectiveness, kindness, humor, dimples, everything about him really.
“You gonna stand there all day or are you going to join us?”
I turn to see him standing by the kitchen table grinning ear to ear.
“Sorry, I was lost in my thoughts there for a minute.”
Not taking his eyes off of mine he says, “Trust me, I understand. It’s been happening to me a lot lately, too.”
I close and lock the door and meet him in the kitchen to get plates and drinks. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Ireland is doing a little twirl for Jonathan and asking if he likes her princess dress. I can’t help but roll my eyes.
“I love it Ireland. You look pretty in anything though. You don’t need to dress up to impress me, but I do like it. Have I seen a dress like this in a movie before? Maybe earlier today?”
“Yes!!! You remembered! My dress is just the same as Elsa’s!” she squeals.
“That’s right it is.” Whispering he says, “Don’t tell Elsa but I think it’s even prettier on you.”
“Oh you are really working it, Georgia. She’s only four, you know that, right?”
“It’s never too early to build her self-esteem, especially if I speak the truth.”
“I think her self-esteem is pretty dang good if you ask me.” All I can do is shake my head as I fix Ireland a plate of cheese pizza and then one for myself.
“It is and that’s all because of you, Em. She’s awesome . . . you’ve done a great job.” His tone is now serious and sincere.
He comes to stand next to me to make up his plate. I will not get choked up while eating pizza, but he sure is making it hard with comments like that. He wasn’t kidding when he said he was trying to win us over and it looks like he is giving 110% effort at impressing us. Standing this close to him isn’t hurting anything either.
A quiet ‘thank you’ is all I can get out.
All of the sudden I see my little angel trying to strip in the middle of the living room floor.
“Ireland, what are you doing?” I ask hurrying in her direction as she struggles with her dress.
“I don’t want to get nuffin’ on my dress. These are spensive mommy.”
“Let’s run to your room real quick and we’ll get you changed into something else.”
After a quick change, pizza and a movie—where Ireland sat pressed up against Jonathan’s side the entire time—it’s time to wind down and clean up. After I pick up the pizza boxes and plates it’s time for me to get my mom face on.
Pointing my finger in the direction of the hall I get Ireland’s attention.
“Okay, bath time baby girl.”
“No, what about Jonafon?”
She is working this just as much as he is! Ugh! She’s acting like she is never going to see him again. Truthfully, this is a worry of mine too.
He’s looking at me like he’s
asking if it’s okay, but I can tell he’s already made his decision. These two are quite a little team. God help me!
“How about I go take Frank for a little walk while you’re in the bath and I’ll say goodnight to you before you go to bed. Sound good?”
Ireland, of course siding with Jonathan, squeals yet again. “That sounds awesome!”
Ireland walks up to a snoring Frank and tells him to be good on his walk and then grabs my hand and leads me away.
“His leash is on the hook in the laundry room. Thanks again for everything, Jonathan,” I say in resignation.
“My pleasure, really.”
He turns to get the leash and I head towards the bathroom where Ireland is already stripped down to her birthday suit.
“What are you doing? I haven’t even run the water yet, silly girl.”
“I want to be done before Jonafon gets back,” she says jumping up and down with excitement.
Looks like I’m not the only one that has it bad. He is a smart one. He knows exactly what he is doing by winning over Ireland, the key to my heart. He definitely has the upper hand at the moment but I think I’m okay with that. He was patient once before and it looks like he’s willing to go even further this time. The truth is, I want him to win us over. I want him. Shit. This is not good. Am I up for this?
Just as I am drying Ireland off I hear the front door and Jonathan yells, “We’re back!”
“Oh, mommy! They’re back! Hurry!” she says giddy to see him again.
I know just how you feel baby girl. I feel exactly the same.
“We’ll be out in just a minute.” I yell back.
The moment Ireland’s princess nightgown is on she’s out the door and running to find Jonathan.
“Come back here little lady, you still have teeth to brush!” I yell after her.
I pick up her clothes, hang up her wet towel and turn to go find my missing child just as Jonathan crowds the doorway with Ireland over his shoulders—just like I was once when he carried me out of that bar in San Clemente.
“Looking for this?”
“As a matter of fact, I am. Thanks so much for the delivery service,” I quip.
He puts her down and she steps up on her step stool in front of the sink and I hand her a very pink princess toothbrush already covered in toothpaste and she starts brushing. I figured Jonathan would have left by now, but he’s still standing there watching us go through our nighttime routine. Ireland has a huge grin on her face the entire time she brushes. She tries to finish a little too fast so I stop her from hopping off her stool and help her finish.
“Okay, say goodnight baby girl. It’s off to bed for you.”
She sticks out her lower lip out and looks down at her feet while she hugs my leg. Suddenly shy she pops her little head out from behind me and says, “Goodnight.”
“Don’t look sad, I’ll be back tomorrow.”
“You will?” Ireland and I ask in unison.
“I was planning on it so don’t you worry about bed time. You’ll see me tomorrow.”
Ireland grabs his hand and leads him to her bedroom. She’s up to something. She hates going to bed and can think of a million things to delay the process each night. Tonight, she’s walking toward her favorite stack of books and hands one to Jonathan and then crawls up into her bed.
“No, Jonathan doesn’t need to read you a story. Let’s let him go home and I’ll read to you in a minute.”
“Ah, pease mommy?”
She’s begging me and in front of him. She really is too smart for her own good, and if this is any indication, she’s going to have her way with many male hearts along the way. I don’t want to even think about that!
“I don’t mind if it’s okay with your momma?”
“Okay, but only one Ireland. Jonathan, do not let her talk you into book after book because she’ll do it. Trust me on this one.”
Then I fake whisper so they can both hear me, “It’s a trap!”
He chuckles, kneels on the side of her bed, opens up the classic Where the Wild Things Are and starts to read. She stops him though. She pats the side of her bed asking him to sit on the bed with her. He looks to me for permission and I nod my approval. Once he’s settled with his arm around her and with her pressed into his side once again, he starts to read.
I step out into the hallway to catch my breath. The sight of them together like that is just too much. I’ve had dreams with this same scenario. I wish so badly that her father hadn’t rejected us both, but he did, and I am doing my best to make up for it. Moments like this though, these moments make me realize that no matter how much I try to make up for the loss of her father I can’t. The thought breaks my heart.
My poor baby girl.
Ireland fell asleep half-way through the book but he finished it like a trooper. After we detached her from Jonathan without waking her up we quietly creep out of her room and shut the door. He follows me down the hall and then we awkwardly stand in the middle of the family room not saying anything. In the middle of the screaming silence Frank farts so loud he wakes himself up and that is all it takes for the both of us to start laughing and break the silence.
“How about a drink? Got any wine or anything else around this place?”
“Uh, I do have some wine if you want some.”
I know I am looking at him suspiciously but I really did think he would be leaving now. I can’t believe he’s been here since 10am.
“Let’s do it. Let’s have some wine and maybe watch a movie but without the G rating.”
Shit, what will happen when we’re alone with wine and a movie? Double Shit!
Heading towards the kitchen I cannot believe I say, “Sure, let’s see what we have.”
After we’re settled on the couch—not close enough to touch but not far away from one another either—he’s pick up the remote and we search for a movie we both want to see on Netflix.
“So, how’s the new job going?”
“Not too bad, it’s only part time but I like it. Mick is being really cool about it and won’t let me pay rent. So, with Justine being paid off,” the reference to the fact that I named my car after meeting him earns me a smile, “and no rent or utilities I really just have preschool and my schooling to pay for and most of my check goes to that. I would love more hours but then that would just cost more in day care, so until I finish school and can get a full-time teaching job I’m staying here with Mick. I hate that he’s giving up his privacy for us, but I also know how lucky I am to have him and my mom.”
“How did you do it on your own down in California all these years?”
“Well, I had Cami for a roommate and free day care. I told you about Charlotte and how she watched Ireland every day. For free. Free Jonathan . . . what would I have done if she hadn’t been there and watched my little girl for free? Honestly, you said that Ireland is so great, and she is, but it is just as much because of Cami and Charlotte as it is me. I couldn’t have done it without either of them. So, financially things were a challenge, but because of the amazing support in my life we managed.”
I feel the tears coming so I take a sip of my wine to try and calm the emotions that are hovering on the surface. Jonathan’s face has been serious while he listens to me tell him another piece of my story and it’s making me feel even more on edge.
“It’s called karma, Emily. Just like I told you before. You put out enough good for all of us and that is why the good came back around to you. You deserve every good thing that has come your way. You deserve more if you ask me.”
“You’re exaggerating, but thank you.”
We continue to talk about my job and how much I love the kids I work with and how I can’t wait to do it full time and have my own classes. He talks about his job and how much he loves it but that there are lots of challenges. We talk about the climate around the view of the police in our country. We talk for what feels like forever and then he asks the question I know he has been dying to ask me all day.
“Who do you think is doing this to you? The threats? Who would want to scare you like this?”
I fill him in on the situation with Jesse and that this is the only possible thing that I can think of. He asks if I would mind if he looked into and if I would share the same info I already gave to Mick.
“I already gave it to Mick, but if you really want to dig a little deeper you can.”
I go into the kitchen to get a sticky note and write down Jesse’s name and his father’s information.
“This is all I have, thanks for looking into it.”
As I hand him the sticky note, he takes it but keeps a hold of my hand, moves the sticky note to his other hand and puts it on the table. Before I know what’s happening he pulls me back down to the couch, but this time right next to him so my legs are over his. Still holding my hand that now has its fingers intertwined with his, he leans in a couple of inches from my face and scans every inch of my face with those magnificent eyes of his.
His gaze finally meets mine. “Gracie . . . I’m going to kiss you now.”
I just continue to look at him . . .
“That okay with you?”
I nod and the moment my head starts to move his lips find mine; feather soft at first as he dips his foot in the pool to check the temperature. He takes his time and then gently bites my lower lip. I softly moan as he growls lightly and sends a shiver of lust down my spine.
“I have dreamed about this for years. I can’t believe you’re here, in my arms,” he whispers against my lips.
As if this proclamation was what he needed to say before he could really let loose, he lets go of my hand and cups my face in his hands just like I remember. He kisses me harder and our tongues start their exploration of each other. Before I know it we’ve changed positions and he’s above me with a leg on either side of me. You can hear us both breathing heavily as if we will never get enough of each other. He lowers himself onto me but is sure to keep most of his weight on his arms. He breaks our kiss and trails his glorious mouth down my neck. He has me squirming as I feel his excitement pressed between my legs. He then trails his lips and tongue back up my neck to my ear and whispers. “I missed you, Gracie.”