by Lisa Shelby
“It’s my pleasure, Cami. All I want is to make Emily and Ireland as happy as I possibly can.”
“I know that, but be gentle with her heart because she will scare easily. I know I don’t have to tell you this, but after all the bullshit she went through with her dad and then Harrison, it won’t take much for her to run. I wish that weren’t the case, but it is, so just go easy on her. It’s still there, what you had before. You just don’t want to push too hard at first. Be patient, and she’ll get there.”
“I know, Cami. I’m trying to go as slow as I can, but I’ve waited for what feels like forever to have her back in my life. I’m so ready to just jump in and just go for it that I find I have to pull myself back and reign it in at times so that I don’t push her too hard. I think we’re in a good place. We just have to get past her fear of what Mick’s gonna do, and I think we’ll be okay.”
“Mick is going to shit, you know that, right?”
“Yep, I do. But I don’t care, Cami. He can hate me all he wants, but deep down I know he loves his sister and he wants her to be happy. I have to hope that will out-weigh any anger he may have, but I’m not going to count my chickens on that one just yet.”
I hear the bedroom door down the hall open up, and I turn to see Emily walk into the room and then I don’t see anything else. She is stunning. She is in a simple black dress with short capped sleeves that is somewhat tight at the top, but then flares out a bit at the bottom. Her hair is down, like I like it, but she has big waves in it and it looks fuller than normal. My eyes travel down her perfect body to her legs. Those fucking legs that seem to go on forever in this short dress and three inch heels. Whoa . . . this dress is short. Not slutty short, but sexy and classy all at once. I can’t help but imagine her naked with nothing more than those damn black heels on. I need to get those thoughts out of my head if I don’t want to have an awkward moment right here in front of Cami.
There are no words that can express how proud I will feel to have her on my arm tonight, but I’m not so sure how excited I am for all of the other pervs I work with to see so much of her. All I keep hearing over and over in my head is MINE. The possessiveness I feel over her is out of this world. It’s a feeling that takes over my whole being when I’m around her. All I want to do is claim her and protect her from everything bad in this world.
Cami clears her throat from behind me and I snap out of my open-mouth gawking to tell Emily how beautiful she is. She thanks me and then I walk up to her and give her a soft kiss on her painted red lips. I see the pink that I love color her cheeks as I take her hand and ask her if she’s ready to go.
Somebody
Emily
The vows were beautiful, the bride looks gorgeous, the cake was delicious and the speeches were appropriate. The fact that Mick gave one of those speeches, and it was appropriate, is a bigger feat than pulling off the wedding itself.
I don’t know why I didn’t talk to Mick earlier today when I saw him at the house. I had the chance, but didn’t because I am such a freaking chicken. The longer I take to tell him the worse it will be for all of us. Besides, how long do I think I can keep Ireland quiet? The fact that Mick was busy unpacking from hunting, and then having to head out to be with Wesley on his wedding day was my excuse. I was distracting Ireland with getting ready to go to my mom’s and I’m sure this is the only reason Ireland didn’t tell him all about her week. I did manage to fill him in on the latest threats from earlier in the week and that Jonathan was a big help, but that is where I left it.
Now, he’s busy with all of his wedding duties and trying to hook up with some Amber chick, that Alex is setting him up with. Not sure why Alex would set somebody up with Mick, she must not like this Amber girl too much. I keep telling myself he’s busy and I’ll talk to him later. Man, I need to grow the hell up and tell my big brother about Jonathan. Time to stop with all of the lame excuses.
I think all of this as I adjust my dress and leave the stall I’m in. At the same time, I hear voices coming from the lounge area of the bathroom. Washing my hands, I can hear Courtney and her merry band of whores talking up a storm, but I don’t really pay attention until I hear Jonathan’s name. This hotel bathroom is so big that she has no idea I’m in here. To tell you the truth, I don’t think it would matter to her one little bit if she knew I could hear her.
One of her merry little whores says, “Jonathan Kelly is looking fine tonight. I thought he was your latest mission, Court. Looks like he’s here with Emily Jacobs. They seem pretty close.”
“Oh please, she’s a single mom with baggage and Mick will never let that shit happen. He’s mine. I just need to remind him of that. I think he’s forgotten how good a night with me can be. By the end of the night, though, I’ll make sure he remembers.”
On that note, I dry my hands, touch up my lipstick and then saunter my way through the sea of skanks in the lounge. They all look shocked, except for Courtney. I just wave over my shoulder at them as I pass by and say, “Have a nice night, ladies.”
When I arrive back to the table dancing is in full effect. Jonathan doesn’t even let me sit down before dragging me out on the dance floor. The first song that we dance to is slow, and at first he holds me without pressing our bodies together. I can tell he’s trying to be a gentleman and be as discreet as possible. When the next song comes on it is another slow one, and I can’t help but press in closer to him and lay my head on his shoulder. It’s the most natural thing for me to do. I feel like I can’t get close enough to him. I would crawl inside him if I could. He just brings me such comfort and calm. I don’t think I will ever get enough.
After the second slow song, the Sister Sledge classic, We Are Family comes on, Cami joins us and now everybody is on the floor. We’re all having a great time, but I lose sight of Jonathan by the time the song ends.
When the next song starts and it’s Somebody by Natalie La Rosa, I squeal like Ireland does when she gets a new toy. I see Jonathan, who looks like he was about to head back to our table, stop in his track, turn around and head back my way with a huge smile on his face. He knows this is my favorite song and he’s not gonna leave me hanging. As he shakes his ass back across the dance floor to me I turn back around to dance with Cami. A second before I feel his hands on me, her eyes sparkle and she gets a silly grin on her face.
I feel his hands on my hips as he starts to sway in time to the slow—but not too slow—sexy rhythm of the song. My body just naturally sways with him. The song is sultry and sexy, and our movements match the song. I can’t help myself when I press against Jonathan’s hard body, dragging my hands up around his neck and into his hair as we continue swaying in unison to the music. With him still behind me and his hands on my hips, it’s as though we’re the only two people in the room, and the song is being played just for us. I pull myself away from his hardness to do a little circle in front of him while I continue to shake my ass to the music. After my flirty little spin, I put my arms around his neck and straddle one of his legs. I know he can feel the heat I’m radiating on his leg while we move together. Pressed against him like this I can feel just how hard he is, and it’s clear we’re both having the same effect on each other. It’s that electricity . . . that connection that we have. It’s always there whether we’re touching or not. It feels so good to finally be acting on it. I am so happy to be here with him. He’s like a drug, and I have a serious problem, only I don’t want an intervention. I never want this high to end.
We keep up our dancing and are in our own little world when the song ends. He gives me a little peck on the lips, and then as soon as we start to step away I realize that we have an audience, and we were clearly not as alone as we felt. The first person I see is Courtney. She’s surrounded by her merry band of whores and her mouth is hanging open. I think she realizes her prediction from a little earlier just might not come to fruition after all. At least I hope she does. She would be an idiot not to see that. That’s right, skank! I say in my head as we pass by
Court and Co.
I’m feeling a little proud of myself as we walk off the dance floor hand in hand. I feel confident. At least I do until the moment I see Mick across the room.
He is seething.
I drop Jonathan’s hand and speed off across the room in the direction of my big brother. I use these few seconds it takes to get to him to clear my head, and face the realization of what we just did on that dance floor in front of not only Mick, but all of his friends and coworkers. Shit! What was I thinking?
I brace myself, worrying my necklace as I approach Mick’s table. The few people that were sitting with him when I first spotted him have left the table, and it’s just he and I when I approach him.
“So, Emmers . . . is there something you wanna tell me?” Mick seethes. I expected his anger, but here in the moment it shocks me.
Shocked as I am, I play dumb and say, “Mick, we were just dancing. Not sure what you mean?”
“I’m not stupid, Em. And if that was just a dance . . . in public . . . at a wedding . . . then I’m going to kill Kelly right here and now, but I think there was more to it than that. Are you guys together, Em?”
The moment I’ve been dreading is here and I feel myself panic. I feel like I can’t breathe. I don’t know why this is so hard for me, but in the next moment when I could finally break down my last barrier and move on with my life, I fuck it up, just like I always do.
“What? No, Mick! You know I don’t do relationships. He’s just some fun, for now. He’s a really nice guy and I deserve some fun, don’t I?”
Mick looks over my head just as I hear Jonathan practically spit, “Fuck this!” from behind me.
I still and freeze on the spot that I’m standing; too scared to turn around and see the hurt on his face. Hurt on the face of the man who has offered himself to me and my daughter, and has declared that I am his and he is mine. Two minutes ago I couldn’t have been closer to him, and with this one false statement I have ruined it all.
“I think somebody else may have had a different answer to my question, Emmers,” Mick says with a look of anger and pity all rolled up into one.
I slowly turn and see Jonathan’s back retreating through the exit doors. With tears in my eyes, I take off after him as fast as I can in these stupid ass shoes I’m wearing.
I finally catch up to him in the parking garage just as he’s opening the driver’s side door of his truck. I yell his name, and he turns to look at me with nothing but rage etched across his face. It’s a look I’ve never seen on his face before, and one I hope I never see again.
Once he sees me he yells from across the garage. “I cannot believe I did this to myself again. I should have fucking known better. I have never been anything but honest with you. I let you in, and I don’t let anybody in! I have always been honest with you and thought it was clear that I needed that in return. Just last night you lied to me and let me believe I had a chance at happiness. I cannot believe I fucking did this to myself again. My bad, Em. I knew better, didn’t I?”
He slams the truck door and leaves me standing in the parking garage alone and desperate to take back the last five minutes of my life. What the fuck have I done?
Un-thinkable (I’m Ready)
Emily
I wake up to a tapping on my head and a sweet little voice.
“Mommy, I’m home.” Ireland whispers as she continues to tap me on the forehead.
“Hey, baby girl,” I say with closed eyes. Why is she home so dang early?
I open my eyes and lift my head to the doorway of my room where my mom is leaning against the door frame.
“Rough night?”
“Miserable night, but not what you think. What time is it?”
“It’s eleven o’clock.”
“Crap, I am so sorry. I was up all night. Mom . . . I am so stupid . . . I messed up.”
“Ireland, sweetie why don’t you go in your room for a minute while I talk to your mom.”
“Okay, Grandma.”
Ireland leaves the room, and my mom comes and sits next to me on my bed. My phone is plugged in and lying on the bed next to me. I tried to call Jonathan all night long. I texted him letting him know how sorry I was, and that I didn’t mean what I said to Mick. That I knew what a bitch I was. I sent another text letting him know that I had told Mick everything, starting with meeting in San Clemente, and up to the moment that I ruined everything.
“Talk to me, Emily. What’s happened?”
I fill my mom in on everything since we last talked at Mick’s BBQ. She doesn’t speak, just listens. When I finish my story, she pushes some of my wild hair behind my ear and gives me a little smile.
“You did mess up, Emily. I can’t imagine how bad hearing those words must have hurt him. He needs some time to cool off, but I am sure he’ll talk to you, sweetie. You two have too much history to throw it all away. You need to show some humility and explain it all to him once he’s ready to listen.”
My mom ends up sticking around and makes lunch for Ireland, Mick and myself. She and I watch a movie with Ireland, but I really just sit and think about Jonathan. After spending every day of the last week with him, I miss him terribly. Not only do I have the guilt of hurting him, but I miss him.
It’s Sunday. I know that he’s going back to work tonight, and there’s still no word from him. I am checking my phone incessantly, but he still hasn’t returned my calls or texts from the night before. I’ve tried to leave him alone today, but knowing he’ll be leaving for work in a couple of hours I have to try one more time.
Gracie: Please talk to me. I am so sorry. Mick knows everything.
Gracie: I miss you.
After dinner my mom heads home. Mick has gone out, and I still haven’t heard anything from Jonathan. I go through the motions of Ireland’s bath and bed routine for the night. I get her tucked in and her story read but I’m not really there. I’m just trying to get through what’s left of the day without breaking down. The last thing I want to do is to try and explain to Ireland why I’m upset. How do you tell your little girl that because you were too immature to deal with your own feelings, you might have lost the best man you or she have ever known? You don’t, because she will want to reason with it, and there is no reason for my behavior, except cowardice. Plain and simple. I was a coward. I hurt him. Now we are both paying the price.
After I leave Ireland’s room for the night I go to check my phone, grabbing it off my bedside table and preparing myself for more disappointment. My heart nearly stops when I turn the phone over in my hand and I see that I have a text from him.
Georgia: Elka’s at 1pm tomorrow?
Georgia: I miss you too.
Oh thank God! My hands are shaking as I text him. I know he’s already at work, but I need to respond. I don’t want to let another minute go by.
Gracie: Thank you and I’ll see you there at 1pm.
Gracie: Have a good night and be safe.
An hour or so after replying to his text—and feeling like I can breathe just a little bit again—I’m in the bathroom drying my just-washed face off and getting ready for bed, when I hear Mick say my name and knock on the door. He has his own bathroom so why the hell is he bugging me? Maybe Ireland woke up? Crap, not tonight. I’m emotionally exhausted and really don’t want to deal with a nightmare or wet bed. I take a deep breath, and let him know I’ll be right out.
Only a few seconds pass when Mick speaks again in a low, calm voice that worries me. “Emmers, you almost done in there? I need to talk to you.”
I open the door as I continue to apply my nighttime moisturizer and with a bit of sass and irritation, snap. “Geez, Mick! What do you want?”
I can tell the moment I see his face that something is very wrong. I know in an instant that I don’t want to hear the words that are about to come out of his mouth.
“Emmers, there was a shooting at work. Bob Truman was shot and killed and, Em, Jonathan was hit, too. It’s not looking great, so we need to get you to
the hospital right away okay? I called mom and she’s on her way over. She’s gonna come stay with Ireland while you and I head to the hospital.”
For I don’t know how long I just stand there in shock, and all I hear is the beating of my heart as it thuds through my body. The loud pulsing is all-consuming as I stand there staring at my brother, but not really even seeing his face. This cannot be happening. Not now. Not ever. This cannot be happening.
In shock, I walk past Mick and into my room where I change my clothes and get my shoes on. I quietly go into Ireland’s room and stare down at my baby girl, and vow to do anything in my power to always protect her to the best of my abilities. I give her a gentle kiss on the forehead and then quietly leave her room. I join Mick in the living room while we wait for my mom to arrive. We don’t speak, we quietly wait in silence.
By Your Side
Jonathan
Beep . . . beep . . . beep . . .
What the hell is that noise? I’m in some sort of dream that has this incessant beeping noise that just won’t end. It’s hot, it’s dark and I have a raging fucking headache. I feel like I’m walking through a fog that’s too thick to penetrate, and I can’t seem to get out of it. I’m trying to find Emily. I can hear her voice in the distance, but I can’t get through the fog to find her.
Why won’t my eyes open? I feel like I’m fading, and the dream and Emily’s voice are slipping away.
Beep . . . beep . . . beep . . .
The fog is back. My head is still throbbing, and I can hear her voice again. I’m trying hard to get through the fog to get to her, but I just can’t get through it. I need to get to her. We have so much to talk about. Why can’t I reach her? Why am I trying to get through this fog with my damn eyes closed? Why can’t I open my fucking eyes?!
Open your eyes, you idiot! For Christ’s sake, open your damn eyes!