Unchained

by Suzanne Halliday

  “We don’t make love until you tell me what all this is about.”

  Her frustrated growl didn’t deter him in the least. Sex wasn’t always the answer. He wanted answers, and he wanted them now.

  “Meghan.” There was a warning in his tone.

  Despondent, confused, horny, unhinged—she felt all those things and more. Giving in to the demand in Alex’s voice, she pushed him away and sat against the headboard.

  “My brother hates me.”

  He stiffened. For a brief moment, she felt sorry for Finn. Alex wasn’t going to take kindly to her brother’s hurtful behavior.

  “Excuse me?”

  Meghan pulled him close and turned into her husband’s warm embrace, snuggling against his chest.

  “Please don’t get mad,” she pleaded. “I can only deal with one thing at a time.”

  She wasn’t surprised when the beast answered. “Explain what you mean and then we’ll talk about my anger problems.”

  Stroking her man’s wide chest, she rubbed her fingers in the dark hair she found so sexy and sighed loudly.

  “He thinks I’m spoiled. And obnoxious.”

  This time, when he barked, “Excuse me?” Meghan flinched at the sound of his anger.

  “I think he might be right,” she admitted in a small, uncertain voice.

  “The fuck he is not right,” her furious Major bellowed.

  She quickly sat up and scooted sideways. He tried to keep her close, but she shook her head, pushed some loose strands of hair behind her ear, and sat cross-legged next to him.

  She asked the question that had been dogging her since she and Finn argued. “Did you know that Deval is separated from his wife?”

  Her eldest brother and new husband had bonded during the months leading up to the wedding. If anyone could confirm or deny what Finn insinuated, it was probably Alex.

  “That little shit,” he muttered darkly.

  Meghan leaned on her elbows and picked at the linens. “Sooo,” she answered with a long sigh, “I’m taking that as a yes.”

  He didn’t say a word. What the hell was that? Some unwritten bro-code thing? She was Dev’s sister, for Christ’s sake. What else was everyone keeping from her? Had her vision of a happy O’Brien family all been fake?

  Finally, when she worried more tears were searching for a parking spot so they could join in the fun, she chomped down on her lip and cleared her throat.

  “I don’t like secrets. Eventually, they’re revealed, and somebody always gets hurt.”

  The play of emotions battling out in his expression told her a lot. He knew more than she imagined. On one hand, she understood why he’d cut her off from every living soul on the planet except him during their honeymoon. Others might find his absolute control strange or even worrisome, but she saw it differently.

  In the compound, people surrounded them. A quiet, uneventful day did not exist where Family Justice was concerned. Seriously. Today was a perfect example, which was one of the reasons why they’d stayed away so long. It was vitally important to her husband that their married life began with just the two of them. No outside influences. No families. No work. No extraneous bullshit. It was, he pointed out, probably the only time in their lives that they’d truly be off the grid. Alone. Husband and wife. Lovers. Partners.

  But this little nugget of information wasn’t something she felt shouldn’t have been kept from her. Not when it meant she’d been subjected to a dog and pony show of family solidarity back home in Boston.

  Alex reached for her hand and brought it to his mouth for an extended kiss. This was his way of expressing remorse. He wasn’t sorry—regret was something he learned to contain a long time ago. But she knew he was rethinking the wisdom of having kept her in the dark. For too long.

  “There are no secrets between us, Meghan.”

  Oh, my. He sounded quite solemn. And serious. She forgot how prickly he could be on this subject. Theirs was a complete partnership. A twenty-four-seven mating of more than bodies. He was inside her even when he wasn’t.

  When he let go of her hand, she caressed the side of his face and traced her fingers along the line of his strong, masculine jaw. He turned his face and kissed her fingers.

  “Just the facts, Major,” she murmured. With a respectful nod and quick lowering of her eyes, she added, “I defer to you on the details.”

  ‘Way to go, Meggie,’ she imagined her mother saying. Handing Alex the power to decide what was in her best interest was a rarely used but oh-so-effective gambit in their marital dynamic. He’d tell her everything simply because she hadn’t demanded. It was a ploy she’d seen her ma use a million times.

  “He asked me not to tell you.”

  Just as she suspected. If she could, Meghan would happily smack Dev up the side of his stupid, thick head. My god, men were fucking idiots. Keeping her reaction in check was a struggle.

  “Seriously? That’s your explanation? He asked you not to?”

  “Now, come on, honey,” he drawled with a decidedly mocking tone and expression. “You know damn well your brother keeps a jar nearby at all times …”

  She jumped all over his humor-laden response. “Yeah, yeah, I know. To keep your balls in. I got that part, Alex.” She snickered. “The whole fam-damily gets that part. But last time I checked”—she made sure to glance quite pointedly at his groin—“your balls are just fine. And I highly doubt your posse of Justice bad boys would ever let Dev near the family jewels.”

  She hmphed for emphasis and arched a brow.

  “Get real,” he drawled. “Your brother wouldn’t even have to break a sweat. Parker would hold me down while Drae gleefully handed over the knife as Cam watched the door.”

  Okay, now that was funny. She bit down on the inside of her cheek to stop from giggling. Eyes shining with shared amusement met briefly. They both knew a more accurate version would be that Drae would neutralize anyone who dared touch him with some Vulcan nerve pinch move as Cam took notes and posted pics on Instagram while Parker pissed down the throat of those stupid enough to threaten his friend and brother.

  “And correct me if I’m wrong,” she hurriedly bit out. “But wasn’t the wedding months ago? I’m sure this ‘Don’t tell Meggie’ bullshit was because y’all feared my Boston Bridezilla busting loose. I get it. I do. But maybe telling me what was going on in my goddamn family before someone got to use it to fuck with my head might have been a swell idea.”

  Dumped that one squarely in his lap, she did. At least he had the good sense to sound suitably contrite with his answer.

  “What could I do, baby? Dev’s almost as protective of you as I am. He asked for time.” The slight shrug and uncomfortable grimace said what he thought of the whole thing. “Something about trying to work things out.”

  He boxed her in with his answer. Shit. While she mulled over the situation, he circled back to the main event.

  “Enough of that. Now you know. But back to Finn.”

  Beating around the bush seemed sort of useless.

  “He bought Pete’s.”

  “Bought Pete’s what?”

  “The bar, Alex. Whiskey Pete’s. He owns it now.”

  “Are you fucking kidding? You’re not, right?”

  His astonished bewilderment matched her own.

  “Goddammit,” he muttered darkly. “What the hell is going on around here?”

  Alex’s eyes had that look. The one she knew meant he was using his alpha vision to see inside her head.

  “And he said I have my head up my ass.”

  “Like he should talk,” her Major was quick to defend. “Okay, look. Do you mind if I put on my Major hat?”

  “Please,” she answered swiftly. “I’ll just make a mess of it if you don’t.”

  He kissed her on the mouth—hard, deliberate, and yummy.

  “Here’s the shorthand on Finn O’Brien. Don’t interrupt unless I get something totally wrong.”

  She nodded.

  “He’s
got baby brother complex.”

  Meghan rolled her eyes but didn’t disagree. “So he’s Angie only with a shitty attitude and a cargo ship chock full of jealousy and envy toward his elders.”

  Well, well. She hadn’t thought of it quite like that. Angie certainly was a handful, but the difference between her and Finn was that Angelina Marquez had a good head and some wicked bad organizational skills. Plus, she adored Alex and Sophie, unlike her brother, who apparently thought the whole O’Brien clan was a bunch of snotty overachievers who purposely left him in the dust.

  “Your parents dump him here—wisely, I might add—hoping that the power of Justice would set him straight without taking into consideration that he’d resent the fuck out of us.”

  She sighed heavily and kissed her man’s shoulder.

  “He arrives while we’re on another continent, so right off the plane, he’s got carte blanche to act like a fucking dick. From what I gather, Cam and Drae barely stopped from killing him, and Parker made the mistake of playing crazy consigliore and threatening him with god-knows-what. Then Calder, who by the way wants to know if you’d go talk to him in the morning, well, he tried on the family Big Daddy hat only to have Finn knock it off with some well-placed old guy taunts.”

  Meghan clutched Alex’s arm and hid her face in his shoulder with a low moan of distress. Finn’s behavior was worse than she realized.

  They sat quietly for a few moments.

  “He said a lot of stuff about me and the boys. How growing up in Deval and Mike’s shadow was hell on wheels. Said he never felt good enough. Couldn’t equal their accomplishments with any of his own. And then there’s me.”

  Meghan didn’t hide the explosion of emotion that made her shudder. “Apparently, I’m a spoiled princess.” A frown full of regret settled on her face. “Did you know everything I touch turns to gold?”

  “Meghan, I know he’s your baby brother and all, but I’m seriously considering making him gag on my dick.”

  “I might pay to see that,” she drawled. “Anyway, apparently, he and Barry from the bar made Pete an offer.”

  “Goddammit! Pete never said shit about retiring. What the fuck?”

  “Well, it’s a done deal. From the sound of things, Barry is gonna handle the bar, and Finn is going to turn that grease pit of a kitchen into someplace offering actual food.”

  “Holy fuck. Your dad is going to shit out a loaf of Irish soda bread when he hears this. I don’t think sending the youngest out here for us to straighten out was supposed to end with your Boston-based paramedic brother wearing a chef’s apron and owning a honky-tonk in the Arizona desert.”

  Her parents. Ugh, right. How were they going to react? Meghan filled with melancholy. Was her childhood, and the picture she held of her family, just a sham? Finn made it seem so. He was so unhappy and felt so horribly left out and like a failure that she could barely wrap her mind around all of it. How had they all missed so much about him? Maybe they were a bunch of sanctimonious, judgmental snots. I mean how else could she explain Finn’s take on things?

  Alex put his arm around her and pulled her close. She threw a leg over his and held on tight.

  “Fuck your brother.”

  Despite the turmoil running wild inside her, she could only think of one thing to say. “I don’t want Finn to be unhappy.”

  If he hated her? So be it. If he didn’t think of their family with warmth and joy? She’d have to accept it. But he was her brother and no matter what, she loved him.

  “I’ll talk to him.”

  Of course, he would. The Major had special alpha persuasive powers when he put his mind to it. Wasn’t that what she’d hoped he’d say from the beginning?

  SWINGING HIS LEG in a high arc, Drae kicked the heavy punching bag with all his might. It felt good to work off the tension with a sweat-pouring workout.

  It had been three days since Lacey moved into his house. Three days he and Victoria played pretend as they waited for some sort of word about Cam.

  After one night apart, when he’d slept on the uncomfortable sofa in the woodshop, she agreed it would only upset Lacey more if she knew they were separated, so she let him back in the house. With conditions.

  Separated. The word left a disgusting taste in his mouth. How could he be separated from the person he loved and needed most in this world?

  Her conditions weren’t a surprise. He could sleep on the floor for all she cared. With Lace upstairs in Stephanie’s Mom Mom suite, it wasn’t like he could hole up in a guest room. Would be too noticeable. So he acceded to her demand and curled up on a pile of blankets as far away from their bed as he could.

  When people were around, he was to mind his manners. She’d never know how close he came to laughing his ass off at that.

  And he wasn’t to touch her. Not if he wanted to keep his fingers.

  He gave in to whatever she wanted. Finding out Lacey was pregnant was a wake-up call that only got louder when he learned his mother-in-law was also in the family way. Victoria’s reaction shook something loose inside him.

  He’d fucked up. Of course, he had. He was a St. John, for Christ’s sake. Every single goddamn instinct he had about women was wrong. You’d think he’d have taken that small fact into account before now.

  Drae made good use of his wife’s cold avoidance by using that time to research everything he could about PPD. The pamphlet she left on the kitchen table was quite informative. In his estimation, Victoria had a solid ten out of fifteen symptoms. Jesus. Why hadn’t he known about this shit earlier?

  Punching away as perspiration poured off his body, he thought about what not knowing had cost. For both of them. She’d been suffering in confused silence, and he’d been trying to fix something he didn’t understand. The end result was chaos and a series of disastrous decisions leading them to their current state of impasse.

  Until he saw the anguish on Victoria’s face when Lacey’s pregnancy was announced, he truly believed she’d been serious about not wanting another baby.

  For a guy who was supposed to have his shit together, he’d made quite an epic mess of things.

  “You kill that thing yet?”

  Alex.

  Took him long enough, Drae thought.

  “Damn thing has nine lives.”

  “Maybe you should borrow a few.”

  After executing a series of martial arts moves, he stepped back from the bag and looked his friend over while removing his hand wraps.

  “Any news?”

  Alex sneered. “No news is good news, right? How’s Lacey?”

  “Eh. You know her. That girl is tough as nails. Overheard her explaining to Victoria that staying strong is all she knows. Said Cam needed to count on her not to fall apart so he could focus on keeping safe and not how she was doing.”

  “Smart girl.”

  He grunted his agreement. “Surrounded by smart women.”

  “Oh, thank god,” Alex muttered. “I’m taking that as an opening and jumping in. Don’t feel like standing around waiting for you to mention your wife. Got one of my own to worry about.”

  “Aw, please don’t.”

  “Suck my balls, St. John, and then tell me why Tori sounds like a sighing machine and your mother-in-law thinks you’re cheating.”

  “You know you’re overstepping, right?”

  “As if. I’m serious, man. Tell me what’s going on. Maybe I can help.”

  Drae sat heavily on a weight bench and put his face in his hands. “Can you fix stupid, Major? ‘Cause I screwed the pooch this time.”

  “Hey,” Alex murmured, “it’s gonna be okay. You two are never gonna win a communication trophy, that’s for damn sure. But there’s real love there, Drae. And that sort of love is hard to kill.”

  He looked at his old commanding officer and felt a glimmer of hope.

  “Ya think?”

  Alex snorted out a gruff chuckle. “I know. When Meghan and I broke up, I thought my life was over. But we figured it out, didn�
�t we?”

  Drae nodded. His mind started ticking.

  “Took all of our friends, all of Family Justice, to bring us together, but fuck man. Look at us now. And Drae,” Alex said solemnly with a hand on his shoulder, “what we learned from that horrible estrangement was how much we loved each other.”

  “She threw me out,” he admitted when Alex moved his hand.

  “What did you do? And don’t make that innocent face and act like St. John shit doesn’t stink.”

  With a grimace, he said, “In this case, it’s what she thinks I did.”

  Alex wasn’t one to mince words. “Did you cheat on your wife?”

  He cold-eye stared at him. “Absolutely not.”

  “Then what’s with the Flagstaff trips and the sudden desire to drive the Lamborghini. Dude,” he bit out, “you can’t be so stupid that you don’t see how it looks.”

  “I’ll tell you, but I swear to god, Alex, if you interfere, I’ll kick your ass.”

  “Fair enough.”

  “Better sit down. You’re gonna want some wood to grab onto when I tell you just how stupid I am.”

  Picking up his water bottle, he squirted a long stream into his mouth, hit the spout with his hand to close it, and dropped it on the floor again.

  Alex spoke first. “You should know that Tori told me about the postpartum issue, and she defended you, Drae. Seemed to me like she knew shit was fucked up and wanted to own some of the reason why.”

  “Man,” he muttered angrily. “You don’t fucking know how much I wish we’d known about the depression from the beginning. So much would be different.”

  “Well, you know now. I hope it makes a difference.”

  “You and me both.” He sighed. “I think we lost our way before Daniel was even born. Neither one of us knew how to handle a difficult pregnancy. A doctor with half a clue woulda helped.”

  “Oh, by the way,” Alex informed him dryly. “I’m taking notes. You and Cam, Calder too, for that matter, are my canaries in the coal mine. First note? A doctor who understands my wife’s unique holistic perspective. Continue.”

  “And then afterward … well, shit. What the fuck does any guy really understand about what his wife’s body, mind, and emotions go through? I’m a clueless motherfucker. Always was, always will be. Cam was no help. Lacey waltzed through Dylan’s pregnancy and birth like a Disney princess.”