by Nikki Duncan
Knowing she was looking more for the sake of staying busy than hunger, she flipped through the pile of takeout menus she kept in the kitchen. Before Sabrina’s accident, when her life had still been perfect, Jennalyn would have come home from work to cook dinner for herself and her fiancé. Family death and illness had a way of changing things though. Changing people. Bringing out their true colors.
Shoving the menus back into a drawer, she grabbed a wineglass and a bottle of red. She’d just taken the first sip when the doorbell rang.
She was a little taken aback to find Ryland on her doorstep. The jeans and Colts jersey were a departure from what she was accustomed to seeing him in, yet she liked the relaxed side of him. Liked it so much in fact that she’d struggled to focus on conversation with Gavin through the afternoon. Her mind continually went to Ryland and the warmth and power radiating around him.
“Ryland. What are you doing here?”
He glanced at the wine in her hand. The right side of his lips tilted up a little. “White just wouldn’t cut it today?”
Swirling the burgundy liquid in the fat globed glass she shook her head. “It was this or a robe.”
“You look great in jeans and a jersey.” His gaze swept the length of her. “Though I wouldn’t mind if you went for the robe.”
“Cute.” In silent invitation for him to enter, she stepped back and waved a hand toward the living room. “Are you going to tell me why you’re here?”
“Gavin’s never going to forget what you did for him today.”
“Just doing my job.”
Ryland walked around the room, looking at the photographs of her family. He traced a finger over the clay ashtray she’d made for her father when she’d been in kindergarten. He’d never smoked, but had always made sure it was out for everyone to see.
“Better than I could ever have hoped for.”
“I’m glad you liked it.”
“Loved it.” He stopped his exploration of her home and walked slowly to where she stood.
Only inches separated them. He watched her. Silent. Unblinking. Intense.
Her blood heated beneath his scrutiny. The skin of her back itched along her spine. Was he going to kiss her? Did she want him to?
Her body canted toward him, answering the question for her. He was the first man she’d been attracted to since the last man she’d been attracted to. The heartbreak of that relationship had paled in the wake of her parents’ deaths, but it had been real enough to breed caution.
“Ryland?”
“You’re an attractive woman, Jennalyn.”
The quiet resolve of his tone chilled her in an oddly exciting way. “Thank you.”
They said nothing else. Neither did they break their locked gazes.
“I would like to kiss you.”
The foundation beneath her feet trembled as if the house had been built on pillars of salt.
“Umm.” Again her body canted forward slightly. Her eyes felt suddenly heavy, much like her brain.
Slowly, still not blinking, Ryland lowered his head toward her. Shivers of anticipation lightened her. The moment stretched, hummed, as his lips grew closer and closer. His breath brushed her lips, he was so near, but still he didn’t kiss her.
“May I?”
“Kiss me?”
“If you think it wouldn’t be too distasteful.”
Please do. “I suppose it would be okay.”
“I’ll try not to disappoint,” he whispered. But still he didn’t move in for the kiss.
Instead, he took her wineglass and set it on the nearby table. The momentary break of his stare didn’t ease the eagerness trembling in her. When he returned his attention to her, it came with a touch. He rested the tips of his fingers on her neck with his thumbs just barely brushing her jaw.
What was he waiting for? Energy flowed between them. Hers tingled along the base of her neck at the hairline. It was like her nerves were begging for him to touch her more fully.
On a soft exhale he closed the remaining distance. His lips brushed hers. Tentative to the point it was almost chaste. Still, an ember glowed brighter in her soul.
She stretched into him. He took the encouragement and deepened the kiss, though he kept his touch light while his thumbs stroked back and forth. Entranced, she parted for him, silently inviting him to kiss her more deeply.
He understood the plea and swept his tongue over hers. Another ember glowed to life, sparking even more. The heat of her blood warmed her skin. She didn’t remember putting her hands on him, but the strength of his chest, the beat of his heart against her palm, grounded her. Then the erratic pace of her own heart invaded reality.
He’d carried her to a place she hadn’t been for years. A place of abandon that would lead her into trouble if she wasn’t careful. He made her want things she’d set aside long ago. Those wants were dangerous, because opening herself to them meant she’d have to open herself to everything else. And though she saw the logic of it, she wasn’t interested in changing it.
She pulled back and grabbed her wineglass in hopes that holding something would help her minimize the trembling of her hands. Only time would restore steadiness to her breathing.
“I’m sorry,” Ryland offered, watching her as closely as he had before kissing her.
“For kissing me?”
“No. Never for that.” He swept his fingers along her jaw and smiled. “I’m sorry if I caused you any…discomfort.”
“Life is one big discomfort.” One giant, miserable, seeping discomfort.
“Yes, it is.”
Something in his tone told her he knew how true the statement was. That same something told her the knowledge had nothing to do with his job. Needing to restore balance for the both of them, she asked again, “So why are you really here?”
Nodding once, he accepted the change of topic. “I brought you something. It’s not as grand as the gift Gavin received, but I hope you’ll like it. “
He pulled a rock from his pocket and handed it to her. She scrunched her brow and looked from the rock in her palm up to him. “You came all the way here to give me a rock?”
He shrugged. It was something she’d noticed him doing a lot of through the day, like he was a little uncomfortable having his generosity brought into the light. “It’s peacock ore. It’s pretty and vibrant on the outside and hard on the inside. It made me think of you.”
“You think I’m hard?”
“Yes. No. Damn.” He shoved his hands in his pockets, looking for all the universe like a boy who’d just been told he had to spend seven minutes in the closet with a girl. “I noticed a bowl of rocks in Sabrina’s room during her last stay at Riley. She said you two had a thing for collecting them.”
“So was this your idea? Or was this another of Sabrina’s messages from the grave?”
“Not everything I do is motivated by a request from Sabrina.”
“Sorry to offend,” she said in response to the bite in his voice.
“No problem.” Though clearly he had a little problem with what she’d said, because he moved toward the front door. “I do hope you know that while Sabrina might have kicked off the idea of you organizing A Month of Miracles, you got the job on your own merits. And Sabrina’s ideas of us one day being together have nothing to do with the way you make me feel.”
Following him to the door, touched by his sweetness and honesty, but not ready to ask him to stay, Jennalyn smiled. “Thank you.”
“Thank you for a day of perfection.”
Chapter Five
Jennalyn had only seen pictures of the crash that had handicapped her sister, but some pictures spoke more than a thousand words. And with the images in her head, it was never hard to imagine the sounds that had tainted the air that night.
One such sound was that of ambulance sirens racing toward someone in need of saving. The same sound ripped through the air as Ryland pulled into the parking lot of a fire station. She tried not to flinch, she always tried not
to flinch, but the sound slapped Jennalyn with imagined images of the crash scene that had upended her life. She flinched.
Ryland was focused on finding a parking spot, but his keen observation skills meant he didn’t miss much. His glance darted her way. “You okay?”
No. “Fine.”
“You sure?”
“Yes.” She hadn’t sounded convincing to herself. How could she hope to fool the man who seemed to understand the darkest parts of her? Hell, it was that talent alone that played into her reasons for staying away from him as much as possible. “Have you spoken with Cooper and his mom today?”
“Yes.”
Ryland scrutinized her from his periphery while slipping his two-door coupe into a slot away from the front door, but not as far away from all the other cars as she’d expected him to. “You know there’s a slot closer to the front door?”
“Yes, but I’d rather save that for Cooper and Debbie it they’re not already here.”
Chivalrous. Another charming characteristic to be added to the list of the man’s attributes. Working with him, Jennalyn was beginning to see just how long the list was. That he let matters drop when he didn’t believe her claims of being okay was another one.
“Today is quite different from a football game, Jennalyn.” Ryland turned off the car and faced her head-on. “Are you going to be okay in here?”
“As long as they don’t get a call.” His sincerity had her responding with full candor when secrecy would have been more comfortable. She’d known going into this job that some moments were going to hurt worse than others. She was just hoping Cooper Faulkner’s day would be as rewarding as Gavin’s.
“If they do?”
“Then it’ll be a shitty day for me. I’d rather focus on giving Cooper a perfect day.”
“Deal. But if you need to leave, say the word.”
“Thank you.” Understanding and acceptance came so easily for him. Whether it was his intention or not, it warmed her every time she witnessed or received it.
Ryland said nothing else on the subject. Instead, he sat and watched her much as he had the night in her home. His brown eyes took on the same glint they had just before he’d kissed her. Before she’d been compelled to kiss him in return.
Beneath her coat and scarf, she became uncomfortably warm. Almost hot. Breathing became difficult, as if her airways were constricted. Her tongue darted across her lips. His did the same.
She wanted to kiss him again. The want had grown daily since the last one until she wondered if her mind had over-embellished his appeal. No man could be so powerful that he made a woman want him with only a look. Yet, here she was. Looking. Wanting.
Shaking her head, clutching for the door handle, she scrambled from the car. A giant gasp filled her lungs with cold air. Then that same blast of cold had her hustling toward the front door.
When they stepped inside, Cooper and his mom were already waiting. Debbie was tall and slender to the point she looked like she needed to eat four-dozen cookies to put a pound on. Her straw-colored hair was thick but dull, and shadows lingered beneath her eyes as if they were trying to fade but worry kept them from fully vanishing. Clearly the woman had spent more time recently taking care of her son than herself. She deserved something for those efforts.
Cooper on the other hand, was a vivacious seven-year-old. He talked ninety-five miles an hour and had the chief laughing over whatever story he was telling. The shorter and healthier version of his mom’s hair bounced as he chattered about a DS game and the cheats to get to the next levels. Sabrina had only gotten that excited about books, but regardless of the topic there was a special gift that came from seeing a child’s happiness.
Jennalyn introduced Ryland to Chief Alexander and thanked him for the day.
“Zack is making a few last preparations and then he’ll be with you.”
Unlike many of the other kids on Ryland’s list, Cooper hadn’t been terminally ill. He had suffered life-threatening injuries in a car accident. The EMT who’d responded to their accident, Zack, had been able to stabilize his injuries and get him to Riley quickly. When Jennalyn had been setting the baking day up, Zack had told her his success was entirely the result of a child’s cadaver being donated for testing.
A chill raced along Jennalyn’s at the idea of a child’s body being used for any kind of testing… It was agonizing to think about every time she remembered the conversation with Zack, but given that her sister’s injuries had stemmed from an accident it was a need Jennalyn understood. The opportunity to study a child’s anatomy carried with it the potential to save thousands of lives. The idea of someone’s baby being cut into was just as powerful a motivation to not donate.
Even with Zack’s unique experience and training, Cooper had spent six months in the hospital learning to walk again. But he was alive and as healthy as before the wreck.
“Where’s my assistant baker for the day?” A big voice that Jennalyn recognized as Zack’s greeted them before the man stepped into view.
He’d never topped five foot ten and was probably twice as wide as her, but every time Jennalyn saw him Zack seemed a little bigger. That was clearly a result of his personality.
“I’m here,” Cooper piped up.
“Well, let’s not stand around all day.” Zack clapped his heavy hands and scowled good-naturedly. “We have baking to get done. These firefighters get nasty if they don’t have enough junk food.”
Cooper and Zack headed back down the hall with Ryland and Debbie following. Jennalyn hung back, pulling her cell from her pocket. Ryland, noticing she wasn’t following, glanced back with concern. She smiled and waved him on with a signal to her phone.
He kept going and a few minutes later she was escorted into the kitchen by a grinning chief. “You’re a smooth operator, Jennalyn James.”
“I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about, Chief.” She was chuckling as she joined Ryland, who sported an apron claiming that real men don’t need antacids. Below the slogan was a cartoon of a firefighter whose heart stuck out from his chest with flames leaping off and wielding hoses to disintegrate a pile of antacids.
“Everything okay?” Ryland asked.
“Yes.” She nodded to the apron and laughed again. “Do you know how ridiculous you look in that apron?”
“No more so than I look in a clown suit or with wet pants.”
“Hmm.” She looked around the kitchen. “I’m sure there is enough water around here for us to test one of those theories.”
He took her arm and led her to the table with the mixer. “I’m sure you’ll be staying away from all water.”
She looked doubtfully at the large assortment of ingredients set out. “You think because I’m a woman that I’m better equipped for baking?”
“At least safer than you’ll be at the sink.”
“If you say so.” She swiped her finger along the edge of a soft stick of butter and before he could move back she smeared it on his face.
Cooper howled with laughter from nearby, which of course had Ryland’s alter ego coming out to play. Wiping the smear off his cheek, he turned to the boy. Waggling his finger dramatically before him, he rounded the counter. “You think that’s funny?”
“Yes, but you’re not supposed to play with the food.”
Jennalyn snorted at the sight of the young boy chastising the hospital CMO, who currently wore an apron and a smear of butter. “Tell me, Cooper,” she said to the boy. “Do you know how to do any of this?”
“Are you kidding? Mom and me have been baking forever.”
“Well, aside from scrambled eggs, which are pretty tough to mess up, I’m better with a phone and credit card. Do you think you could help me out?”
“If you promise to not make messes.”
He looked so serious about the request. As if he would write her off as a partner if she spilled some flour. Her dad and Sabrina had been the same way, while she and her mom had been challenged in the kitchen and had
more fun starting food fights. The memory had her smiling and plotting ways to get the boy messy.
Debbie sat at the table rolling dough that Zack had already mixed up, but she did so in a pristine manner that told Jennalyn where Cooper had learned his manners. She would apologize later.
“I will do my best, Cooper, to minimize my messiness.”
Ryland coughed. His gaze, that gaze that saw too clearly into her, called her a liar. It also said she could count on him to help play with the boy. Zack watched the interactions from the sidelines, silent and tough to read, but she figured she could persuade him pretty easily to join the fun.
What surprised her was that she wanted to play.
Jennalyn and Debbie stayed in the kitchen to keep an eye on the cookies and cakes while Ryland and Zack took Cooper to see the fire engines. Zack and the other firefighters, many of whom remembered Cooper from the accident that had badly injured him and taken his father, took great pleasure in showing Cooper the equipment in the ambulance that was used to save him. The boy had been having such a great time following the firefighters, climbing in the trucks and blowing the horns, that he didn’t give a thought to his mom and Jennalyn staying in the kitchen to watch the goodies.
Besides, the women discovered a common interest in what they called a shared need for a personal stylist. Both claimed they were worthless in the coordination of outfits and knowing a good hairstyle when it hit them. Ryland could sort of see it in Debbie, whose focus had been on her son.
Jennalyn was another story. She was always put together from the tip of her spunky head to the toe of her shoes that seemed to always finish her outfits in a sensibly sexy way. He’d have argued the point if he didn’t understand so well what it was like to be fashion-challenged.
Once he found a store with a staff that seemed to know what suited him and his job he hadn’t shopped anywhere else. Aside from the junker clothes he used for chores around the house, they even outfitted him for his more casual days.