by Nikki Duncan
“Look at me, Mr. Ryland.” Cooper’s delighted demand drew Ryland’s attention. Ryland turned from his thoughts to find the little boy standing in fireman boots with the heavy matching jacket pooling around his feet.
“You look ready to battle a dragon.”
“Really?” Hope burst forth as if the kid saw his future riding on Ryland’s next answer.
Ryland guessed it was more likely the boy’s way of seeking a man’s approval and pride. With his heart constricting as if a fist of iron squeezed it, Ryland knelt before the boy so he could look him directly in the eye. The kid watched him, waited. Ryland squeezed Cooper’s skinny bicep gently.
“You standing here makes you a superhero. Build a few more muscles and you can take on anything. With or without this armor.”
Cooper nodded once. It was the kind of nod one man gave another when women would share a hug. It was a strong, resolute nod that acknowledged and accepted Ryland’s words while thanking him at the same time. It was the nod of a boy accepting his inner man.
“Cool.” Shrugging out of the jacket, Cooper handed it up to one of Zack’s counterparts. “But for now we should go check our baking. Mom is good, but Ms. Jennalyn…”
“Is not so good at the baking thing.” Ryland winked. “She sure is sweet though.”
They were still laughing over Jennalyn’s shortcomings in the kitchen a few minutes later when they walked through the door. A paper plate smeared with buttercream frosting soared through the air. Ryland looked up just as it smacked him in the face. It landed more on his forehead and at the top of his head, but an instant later the rejected icing—Jennalyn’s first attempt—was dripping down his face and into his eyes.
Ryland wiped the sticky sweetness off his face and stared into Jennalyn’s eyes. “You are going to pay for that.”
Cooper pointed at Ryland and howled. Debbie picked up a second plate and sent it flying. When the second plate connected with Cooper’s chest, he laughed harder.
“Nice shot, Debbie!” Jennalyn’s cheer bounced through the kitchen as she lifted another plate. She sent it soaring, again at Ryland.
He ducked and moved closer to the island counter. The plate smacked him on a shoulder. “Woman, you seem intent on making a mess of my clothes.”
“Just having some fun. And I stayed away from the water, as per your request.”
It had been a goal of his for Jennalyn to rediscover her fun side. He hadn’t planned on it always adding to his dry cleaning bill.
Cooper and Debbie moved closer and closer to each other. Too close to actually throw plates, they settled on dipping their hands into the large bowl of icing to smear it over each other. Debbie’s laughter was as uplifting as her son’s, and her smile was as bright.
Ryland, determined to repay Jennalyn for the fight she’d started, ducked lower to take cover behind the counter. Low to the ground, knowing he couldn’t be seen over the counter, he moved in the direction opposite to the one he’d been heading. If he could come up behind Jennalyn, he could grab a plate, tap her on the shoulder and…
She anticipated him.
When he rounded the corner and stood, she was waiting. A plate balanced on a hand, and a grin brightened her eyes. The grin distracted him. It was the first time he’d seen her smile fully banish her sadness. No doubt the moment would become a memory when the food fight was over, but it was a memory he would treasure.
“Jennalyn.”
“Ryland.”
“You’re making a mess.”
She tilted the plate from side to side. “It’ll clean.”
He scooped a blob of icing from his shoulder. “And my clothes?”
“Will clean too.” Her nonchalant shrug contradicted the gleam in her gaze. “Be grateful it’s not one of your expensive suits.”
Then, quicker than a blink, she lunged forward and smeared the icing all over his face and down his chest. Her laugh slipped like warm honey through Ryland’s soul, brightening the dark corners he hadn’t realized still existed.
Focused more on her fun—and revenge—he took one step closer and wrapped his arms around her. The icing-covered plate was pinned against him, but so was she. Excitement snapped at the base of his spine. Soft curves and warm sighs, the woman’s impact on him became a wallop. If they were alone the moment would allow for a more intimate outcome. He was more than fine with this one. For now.
Holding her tight, he writhed against her, moving up and down her body with his until she was as covered in icing as him. Her gaze locked with his when he stopped moving.
“You enjoy that, Ryland?”
“Yes. You?” Easing in, lowering his head to hers, he watched her eyes dart around, taking in his face as she tried to brace for a kiss.
“More than I thought I might, actually.” The pulse in her neck leapt.
“Good.” His voice sounded husky even to himself. A weightless energy flowed between them until they were alone in a bubble.
“Kiss her!”
Cooper’s call interrupted the bubble, but it wasn’t enough to break their stare. Ryland grinned, enjoying the idea of kissing Jennalyn again. Easing closer, tightening his arms around her fractionally, he lowered his head. She drew in a breath. Held it.
He tilted his head and blew a warm breath along her neck. She trembled against him. Yes, he definitely enjoyed the idea of kissing her again.
“Ryland.”
Her plea was a whisper only he could hear. And only he could hear the loneliness beneath the thin layer of fun. He didn’t want her sadness or loneliness to resurface so soon after she was laughing.
“Oh, JJ. I told you that you would pay.” Surprise hit her eyes just as he tucked his chin to his chest and rubbed his icing-coated hair over her neck and shoulder. He wasn’t sure if the vanilla he smelled was her perfume or the icing, but he knew that as of this moment it was his favorite scent.
“Excuse me.”
Jennalyn and Ryland looked toward the door. “Chrissy,” Jennalyn said, a little embarrassed sounding.
A curvy brunette, the assistant Jennalyn raved about, cleared her throat as she stood beside Zack. The firefighter’s throat danced when he looked at the woman beside him. He said nothing though as Chrissy stepped into the room with an envelope in her hand.
“I have a delivery for Debbie.”
“Right.” Jennalyn pulled away from Ryland and headed to Chrissy. She wiped her hands over her hips as she went, but he wasn’t sure that would be enough to keep the envelope clean when she fetched it. “Everyone, this is Chrissy. The angel of efficiency who’s blessed my world.”
“What could you have for me?” Debbie asked as she stepped away from Cooper, who was wiping icing from his face and licking his fingers clean.
Chrissy smiled and handed the envelope to Jennalyn, who turned to Debbie. “This day has been for Cooper, who has a heroic strength. I couldn’t let the day pass, though, without recognizing the bravery of the woman who inspires Cooper to be who he is.
“This is for a day at Transformations Salon and Spa.” Jennalyn passed the envelope to Debbie. “You’re to get anything you want, all day, with no concern given to the cost.”
“But…” Flummoxed, Debbie waved a hand toward Cooper. “I-I can’t accept this.”
Chrissy stepped forward with her card extended. “You let me know what day you have your appointment set for. Cooper will be well cared for until you get home.”
Debbie’s shoulders shook, and Ryland had no doubt that if he could see her face her chin would be trembling. He and Jennalyn had never talked about a day for Debbie, but Jennalyn had taken one look at the woman and known she needed time for herself.
He had been attracted to Jennalyn from the first time he’d seen her. As he experienced the beauty of her spirit, she became impossible not to fall for.
Chapter Six
Hours later—with the kitchen cleaned up from the icing fight—cakes, cupcakes and cookies of all shapes, sizes and flavors covered the counters
in the firehouse. The place smelled like a bakery filled with peanut butter, chocolate, mint and vanilla. Buttercream icing stiffened everyone’s hair, with the exception of Zack, who had captured the whole thing with a digital camera.
It had been a wonderful day that unexpectedly had Jennalyn recalling some of her favorite family memories. And for the first time since Kris had walked out on her, claiming she was too obsessed with trying to replace her parents in Sabrina’s life, she saw a truth about herself. She hadn’t been trying to replace her parents. She’d been substituting Sabrina for the child she’d always wanted to have. The child she’d planned on having with Kris before realizing how self-serving he was.
Staring at the stark reality, she still didn’t feel that she’d done anything wrong. Sabrina had needed her. She’d needed Sabrina. There had been the same give-and-take relationship that any two people in a family would share. Husband and wife. Parent and child. Sister and sister.
It was the kind of bond she never would have had with her ex because he’d always been the taker. Never the giver.
She realized now that even in the beginning she’d caught glimpses of his personality. The desire to be a part of something solid, something like her parents had had, drove her to ignore the parts of him she hadn’t liked. Spending time with Ryland, watching him with the patients, she began to realize how grateful she was that Kris had left her. That he’d moved on to find someone better suited for the servant he sought. Not that she saw Ryland as a replacement in her life. Unlike the naiveté from years earlier, she now knew that not even a great man like Ryland would be able to fix the hole in her heart.
Her last chance for an amazing life had evaporated with Sabrina’s last breath.
“I had wondered how you would top the Colts game.” Ryland plucked dried icing from Jennalyn’s hair as he walked her to her door. “I never would have expected a day of baking in a firehouse to be the day that would top it.”
Her mind shifted back to the reality of the moment. To Ryland. “Your list said he liked baking. Then when you told me what station the ambulance had come from, it just seemed logical.”
“Only to you. I would have gone for a pastry chef.”
“I almost did. But I also know that firefighters are pretty well known for being good cooks. As it turns out, Zack put himself through college by working in a bakery.”
“So it couldn’t get any better than to have Cooper spend the day with an experienced baker who just happens to be the EMT responsible for him being alive.”
“Something like that.”
She glanced up at Ryland and flicked a dried fleck of icing off his shirt. After their almost kiss in the kitchen she had fabricated reasons to touch him. With every touch she tested her reaction to him. This time, like the touches before, her body hummed with awareness. It was low and suppressed, but she felt a difference in herself. She felt the desire to test her limits. To see if he was as attracted to her as he seemed to be.
“Was it something else?”
“I don’t know.” She pulled her key out and swung the chain in a gentle circle. “Spending the day with built men who know how to clean, cook and handle a hose isn’t exactly a hardship.”
She turned to unlock her door at the end of the statement, but she didn’t have to be looking at Ryland to know he had stepped closer. The shift in the air, the way it pulsed with a tingling warmth, alerted her to his closeness.
“There are men who meet those qualifications without being a firefighter.”
“Perhaps.”
She opened the door, but before she could step inside, he grabbed her hips. Holding her in place, with her back to his chest on the front porch where her neighbors could witness, he lowered his mouth to her ear. “There is no perhaps.”
Her eyes fluttered closed as the heat of his words slipped beneath the scarf wrapping her neck. The November chill vanished and her skin wasn’t the only thing warming up.
“Boastful man,” she teased.
“Invite me in, and I’ll prove my point.”
She suddenly felt as if she’d run a marathon in high humidity without drinking enough water. Weak legs, dizzy, flaming face, shortness of breath. Every symptom was accounted for, but so was the worry of what would happen if she gave in to him. Sabrina had said in her DVD they were perfect for each other. Was this his way of testing the theory? Was he simply going one step further in his promise to her sister?
“Ryland.”
“Jennalyn.” He brushed against her back, silently announcing his interest. “A night between consenting adults doesn’t equate to forever.” His fingers moved in tiny circles over her hips. “Just you and me. No work. No stress. No fears or bad memories.”
A shiver started at the middle of her back and blew its way up to her neck. She tried to suppress the need to tremble, but her body won.
“Sometimes, giving in to a temptation is the best way to cure it.”
She practically heard the smile splitting his face. He was getting to her and he knew it. Again, the shiver tracked up her spine. “I’m not sure that’s going to be the case with you.”
The honesty didn’t surprise her. That she’d actually voiced it didn’t really surprise her. That she trusted him enough to give him the truth—when she had guarded herself against pretty much everyone since her parents died—was the surprise.
Rather than push the moment, he eased back. The warmth that had filled her faded. With his hands still on her hips, he turned her. Glancing up at his bowed head, she met his gaze. She saw desire, hunger, but they weren’t the ruling emotions. In the depths of his stare was a beautiful misery that was a kindred spirit to her own.
Tears burned her eyes, because in that moment, when she had expected things to take a sexual turn, he spun them to an emotional place. With a lingering glance, he offered her a glimpse into his soul. Then he did the same with softly spoken words.
“I understand you, Jennalyn.” He released her, but only for the moment it took him to place a hand on her jaw. “I’ve felt your pain. Your loneliness.”
Detailed explanations weren’t necessary for her to know he spoke sincerely.
“When you’re ready to talk, I’m here.” He kissed her. A gentle and sweet press of lips against hers was all it was. And though his touch quickened her blood, the heaviness in her heart came from his understanding.
“I’ll see you in a couple of days.” With a final press of his lips to hers, he placed a disc and a smooth stone in her hand and walked away.
Watching his retreating back, feeling the weight of the DVD in her hand, the moment of light flirtation and fun had passed. Glancing at the items he’d left behind, she unfolded the small paper sandwiched between the disc and gold-flecked stone.
Valued for its beautiful, shimmering sparkles, this goldstone reminds me of you. It’s a scarcity as much as you are a rarity. You’re both amazing. You’re both in high demand.
Pressing the cool stone against her lips, hugging his words and the memory of his touch close, she went inside. She was still holding the stone against her lips, unable to put it down because of the sentiment Ryland put behind it, when she sank into her sofa. The bowl of rocks that had been in Sabrina’s hospital room sat on the side table to her right. Picking up the remote and pressing play, she braced for whatever Sabrina had to say this time.
Sabrina wore her Christmas robe and sat in the chair in her hospital room with her legs curled up yoga style. She’d taken up meditation toward the end, and the chair seemed to be one of her favorite spots for it. Her hair was pulled into an intricate braid that Jennalyn remembered doing.
“Hey, JJ.” Sabrina’s lips curled into her sweet smile. “If you’re watching this, you took on A Month of Miracles. I’m proud of you.”
“You say that as if you made two sets of DVDs.”
“Yes, I made two sets of DVDs. If you hadn’t gotten this one you’d be watching me nag you about helping Ryland.”
“Always thinking, Sab.” Jen
nalyn lowered the stone from her lips. Her fingers continued rolling it around in her palm. The smooth surface absorbed her warmth. It did nothing to ease the pressure building in her chest. That she’d gotten used to seeing Sabrina’s face on her TV—because she’d watched the last DVD over and over again in a desperate need to feel close to her baby sister—didn’t ease the pressure.
“I know the project can’t be easy for you, but I hope you’re finding a little enjoyment planning the outings.”
“I am.”
“Do me another favor.”
“Yes, puppet master.”
“Tell Chrissy not to let you work too hard. And don’t lock hope too deep inside. Be brave.”
The screen went blank, leaving Jennalyn hungering for more. She watched it again and knew why she hadn’t gotten more. It had been recorded on one of Sabrina’s worst days. She barely stayed coherent for five minutes at a time. Jennalyn wasn’t sure what hurt more…the message or the memory.
Chapter Seven
“It’s colder than the ice king’s—”
“What do you think of this one?” Ryland asked, interrupting Jennalyn. As much as he’d have enjoyed hearing her fill in the blank he wasn’t so sure the mom shopping with her young daughter would feel the same.
Jennalyn scowled as she circled the tree. “It’s a good one for the hospital location. The one for the main house should be bigger.”
The woman’s need for perfection was by turns admirable and annoying. Admirable in that he loved how much she wanted people to find some joy in an otherwise tough time. Annoying in that they’d walked the lot twice and Jennalyn still hadn’t deemed a tree to be perfect enough for the main Ronald McDonald House.
“Bigger as in taller? Or bigger as in fatter?”
“Bigger.” She curled her lip at him as if he were dense or even ignorant. “How hard is it to understand? The tree needs to be bigger.”
He looked at her for a moment, trying to figure out why she was so surly. All day she’d been impatient and indecisive. It was as if she’d divorced herself for the day. Until he figured out what was rubbing her wrong he would be careful to modulate his voice.