by Nikki Duncan
“You weren’t doing a job when you made the toughest decision of your life.”
“What?” Confusion mixed with more tears.
“You haven’t spent the month with a group of random kids, JJ.” Ryland paused, giving her a moment to think. The silence, the gazes looking at her, were shattering blows to the miniscule composure that remained.
“No.” The whispered denial contradicted the hope in her heart.
“These kids are the recipients of Sabrina’s organs and tissues, with the exception of Cooper. He’s still with us because of your generosity and strength because Sabrina’s was the body Zack studied. She’s the reason he was able to save Cooper. The reason he’ll be able to save so many more kids.”
Tears fell unchecked. Her nose went from runny to stuffy. Her face was on fire. And her heart… Her heart ached with sorrow and happiness all at once.
Sabrina had requested that her organs be donated to sick kids and that her body go to study. It had been the roughest promise to keep, but seeing the kids who carried a piece of her sister with them, knowing that they all appreciated the gift, healed the biggest pain in her own heart.
She would always miss her baby sister, but Ryland had found a way to show her how profoundly special Sabrina had been. He’d brought her full circle from the moment they were reunited to his reveal.
He’d hired her to make miracles happen, but he’d become her miracle man.
Chapter Eighteen
The sun rose over the zoo as Ryland closed the door behind the last family. He turned back and went to the table where Jennalyn sat.
“It’s been forever since I pulled an all-nighter at a party.”
“They didn’t want to leave because of you.” He sank into a chair and propped his head on a hand. He was exhausted in one of the two best possible ways. He was currently too tired for the other best.
She leaned on her hand, mirroring him. “You’ve known who those kids were. Why didn’t you tell me? Did they know who I was?”
“Their parents knew. They asked me about the donor shortly after the surgeries.”
“Is that all of them?”
“All that I know of.” He took her hand that rested on her lap and ran his thumb over her knuckles.
“How is it possible that they were all patients at Riley? Organs and tissue go all over the place.”
“The process is a complicated one. A couple of these kids were at the top of wait lists or others came down to a matching blood type. Mostly, they stayed local because weather made getting the organs anywhere else in time impossible.”
“The blizzard.”
He nodded. “We’re used to snow, but that storm last year nearly closed down the city.”
“I hadn’t given it any thought. Though I knew these kids were organ recipients it never occurred to me that they would have received Sabrina’s.”
“Cooper is the only one without a part of Sabrina.”
“My family has always talked about wanting to help people. My parents specifically stated several times that they wanted to be donated for their organs and research. I have no idea who they might have saved.” She tapped her fingers on her cheek. The ring he gave her danced on her right ring finger. “I was too wrapped up in rearranging my world and taking care of Sabrina to think about it.”
“We can reach out to the coordinators to see if they would like to meet you.”
“It’s been a rough month.” She shook her head. “I think I’ve had my quota of these reunions for awhile.”
“JJ.” He brought her hand up and kissed her knuckles. “The legacy you passed on, the strength you showed by donating Sabrina’s body to medical research, is something that can’t be matched.”
“I almost didn’t do it. I couldn’t get past the idea of people cutting into her. What if they didn’t show her the right kind of respect?” She went silent, retreating into her thoughts for several moments. “I almost backed out, and now I look at Cooper…”
“Honey, no one would have blamed you if you had made a different choice. In fact, outside of the people who were in this room tonight, you’re likely to be judged more harshly for the choice you did make.” He kissed her hand again. “There’s no way I could have donated Elise for research. Even when I was in medical school, studying pediatrics and wishing we had something more than mannequins to practice on, I knew I wouldn’t have made a different choice.”
“Sabrina wasn’t my daughter, and she was old enough to voice her desire. I couldn’t deny her last request.” She smiled. “Well, her next-to-last request as it turned out.”
“Do you think you can forgive me for keeping secrets and the DVDs?”
“I don’t know, Ryland.” She sank deeper into her palm. “You kept secrets, you didn’t tell me about Sabrina’s plans, you gave me gifts with meaning, and you gave me some of my sister back. I’ll watch those kids grow and know that they carry Sabrina with them.” She squeezed his hand. “I’m not sure you need forgiveness, though I do want to see the other set of DVDs.”
“They’re all yours.” He smiled, certain he would win her heart completely before long. “I hated keeping the secrets.”
“You gave me Sabrina back, and so much more.” She pulled his hand to her, pressed a kiss into his palm. “Holding anything against you would be impossible.”
“Can I tell you something else you may not be ready to hear?”
“Not if you get on your knee again.”
“No proposal.” The idea had occurred to him the moment he took a knee before her. And every time he looked at the ring on her right ring finger he’d seen the proposal as it would play out. Eventually.
“Then shoot.”
“I’m falling in love with you.” He shrugged. “Actually, I’m pretty sure I’ve fallen all the way. I don’t like the days when I don’t see or talk to you.”
“Ryland.”
He silenced her with a kiss. When he pulled back, he met her gaze. “I don’t want you to say you don’t feel the same. And I don’t want you to say you do if you don’t.”
“Then what do you want?”
“For the moment, I want you to accept that I love you. And I want you to spend the day with me.” A yawn popped his jaw. “After a nap.”
“It’s Christmas.”
“Yes. And I am going to my parents’ tonight for presents and dinner. I want you to come with me.”
“I…” She shook her head, straightening in the chair. It was another retreat. “I can’t… I’m not ready for a big family Christmas. I would feel like I needed to do some last-minute shopping.”
“We’re not a big family. Or a loud one. And trust me when I say that you’ve already given my family the best gift possible.”
Her eyebrows scrunched together.
“You’ve given me a reason to do something other than work. You helped Michele understand my job, though I’m not sure how. You’ve made me happy, JJ. My family wouldn’t want any more than that.”
“Right. So no pressure for the first-time guest.”
“None.” He ignored her sarcasm, taking the statement as her agreement to spend the day with him. Maybe, if he diagnosed their relationship correctly, he would have a ring on her finger by next Christmas.
He had no doubt she would plan one hell of a wedding. And after this month, she had a considerable crew to fill her side of a church.
The trip to Carmel, to Ryland’s family home, was just over thirty minutes. In the grand scheme of things that wasn’t long. For a woman who just the day before had been ready to quit Christmas and sink into her loneliness, it was an eternity.
Ryland had told her he loved her. Then he’d taken her to his apartment where they’d crashed into a coma-like sleep. When she finally woke up, it was to Ryland’s gentle touches and more whispers of his love. It was all very idyllic.
“Thank you for coming with me today.” Ryland took her hand in his and kissed her knuckles. He’d been doing that a lot, as if he worried if he st
opped showering her with affection she might bolt.
The suffocating feeling she’d had in the hospital when she’d seen Sabrina’s wagon closed in. Too much emotion and possibilities of how he saw things taking shape between them built too quickly. “I changed my mind.”
“My dad is going to love you.”
“I can’t do the family thing this year.”
“My mom too for that matter.”
“It’s too soon.”
“Michele already adores you.”
“Take me back.”
“Did I mention she’s bringing a boyfriend?” Ryland talked over her, ignoring her pleas. “He’s a doctor. Mom thinks an engagement is forthcoming.” He turned into a neighborhood that was straight from a greeting card.
Tall, snow-covered trees lined the street and filled the yards. It wasn’t much different from the neighborhood she lived in, only hers was a little smaller in scale. Neighbors would know each other. They would have community cook outs and all the kids would attend each other’s birthday parties. It was everything she’d imagined having for herself one day.
“That’s nice.”
“Not really. The guy’s a player with an overinflated God complex.”
Sounded like her ex. “Michele’s smart. She’ll figure it out.”
“She’s been with him a year and a half.” Ryland shook his head as he pulled into the doublewide driveway. “I’m beginning to wonder.”
Several large windows ran across the front of the house, upstairs and down. In the main window facing the street, a huge tree winked with clear lights. With subtle green paint and a rough rock exterior, the home blended beautifully into the surrounding nature. Jennalyn could imagine stepping outside on a crisp fall morning, coffee in hand, to find a couple of grazing deer.
The home was as welcoming as the man who’d grown up in it. Her anxiety rose and fell with anticipation and worry. She suspected she would like the people waiting inside as much as she’d liked Michele. The more she liked Ryland’s family the more difficult it would be to accept moving on without him when he discovered there was someone better than her.
“Can you get the door?” Ryland asked as they went up the steps to the entrance. His arms were full of the gifts.
She nodded and opened the door. Closing it behind him, she took a bracing breath. When she turned toward the living room, she was struck by the definition of hearth and home.
Vaulted ceilings with white beams, walls a green so soft it almost wasn’t green and furniture that suited moods more than any specific theme. The light from outside flooded in from the large windows at the front, back and side of the room.
A large fireplace of the same rock that covered the outside of the house was the focal point of the room. A rustic beam served as the mantle, with four mismatched stockings dangling from hooks. Mom. Dad. Ryland. Michele. Evergreen garland ran along the mantle with silly reindeer playing around it. Santa and Mrs. Claus, probably three-feet high, stood sentry on either side of the flickering fire.
The centerpiece on the table and the homemade ornaments on the tree added to the impression. And then the scents hit her. Pumpkin. Cinnamon. Ham. Sweet potatoes. It was everything she remembered from Christmas with her parents. Her heart clutched at the memory.
Ryland placed the gifts by the tree and then returned to Jennalyn with his hands extended. “Your coat, m’lady.”
She laughed as she handed over her coat, gloves, scarf and hat. “Do visits home always make you behave so… I’m not sure what that is.”
“Silly? Yes,” a woman said from just inside the room. “Ryland, come introduce your lady.”
He tossed Jennalyn’s coat over the staircase banister, took her hand and then tugged her into the living room. “Mom, this is Jennalyn. Jennalyn, my mom, Ellen.”
Ellen skipped the tradition of a handshake. She pulled Jennalyn into a hug, snug in the comfort it gave. “It’s lovely to have you with us. Ryland, put the coats away and come to the kitchen. Michele and her beau are here.”
Jennalyn looked over her shoulder, watching Ryland while his mother led her away. His smile told her that he wouldn’t rush to her rescue. Or that it wouldn’t do him any good to try because Ellen Davids was definitely the neck that turned all the heads in the family.
Jennalyn turned away from Ryland and stepped into the kitchen. Cherry cabinets, marble countertops and stainless steel appliances gave the room a darker feel, but it was offset by more windows and an open breakfast nook with a heavy wood table. Michele sat at the table with an older version of Ryland to her right. At her left, another man’s back was to Jennalyn.
He was tall and slender, sitting a head higher than Michele. On the lower left side of his hairline, a small patch of gray interrupted his neatly cut brown hair.
“Ryland is here with his friend.”
“Jennalyn.” Michele smiled as she rose from her chair.
She wasn’t the one who captured Jennalyn’s attention. No. Jennalyn recognized that patch of hair.
Michele’s boyfriend stiffened. So did Jennalyn.
Michele’s words and those of Ryland’s parents blurred in a buzz of past memories.
“Kris.” She didn’t make it a question, because she had no doubt that the man keeping his back to her was her ex-fiancé.
“Jennalyn.” The man who’d lied to her, cheated and then abandoned her when her life had been at its lowest pushed back from the table and turned. “What a lovely surprise.”
“It’s a surprise.” Her eyes shifted to Michele, who watched them curiously. “I don’t know how lovely of one.”
She’d liked Ryland’s sister enough that she wanted to protect her from pain, but she remembered what Ryland had said in the car. Michele had been seeing Kris for a year and a half. Kris had walked out barely over a year earlier.
She’d wondered what she would feel if she ever saw him again. She’d expected outrage or betrayal. Now, with the moment facing her, she felt nothing she’d thought she would.
There was anger, but it was because someone she’d come to like, care about, had been lied to. Ryland didn’t like Michele’s boyfriend. He wanted to protect his sister from getting hurt, but was in the tough position of overprotective brother who couldn’t intrude.
Jennalyn wasn’t in the same position. She didn’t want to ruin everyone’s Christmas or hurt Michele, but she had a strong desire to protect Michele from a life with an ass.
“You know each other?” Ryland asked as he stepped in behind Jennalyn. His hand came to rest at the base of her back.
Curiosity buffeted her from everyone in the room. Kris’s curiosity was different though. His dark eyes, as soulless as they’d ever been, regarded her with a worried dare. She’d always given way beneath his unspoken force, always tried to make things easier for him. He expected the same now.
Then there was Ryland. Standing at her side, his gaze heating her though she didn’t look his way. He wanted to know what was going on, but his desire for answers wasn’t tainted with darkness the way Kris’s was. Ryland wouldn’t blame or accuse her. If anything he would be proud of her for being strong.
“You could say that. We were engaged,” she answered Ryland’s question while shifting her gaze from Kris to Michele. Apologizing with her eyes, hoping Michele saw her inner conflict, Jennalyn went on, “until thirteen months ago.”
“Excuse me?” The quietly shocked question came from Michele as she turned to Kris. “You never mentioned being engaged.”
“It didn’t matter,” Kris threw the words out like a dart he hoped would hit a bull’s-eye.
“It mattered.” Jennalyn stepped away from Ryland, distancing herself from him and his family so it didn’t hurt as much when they asked her to leave. She smiled, though, as she looked at Kris. And it was a smile that reached the depths of her soul. “It mattered, because being with you, being left by you when times got tough, taught me something.”
“Yeah? What did I teach you?”
H
is inflated ego swelled at the idea that he’d helped her.
“It taught me how to know a real man when I saw him.” As soon as she said it she knew just how she felt about Ryland. And though she wasn’t ready to visit him at work on a regular basis, she could handle the demands of his job.
“Wait.” Michele stepped between them, looking back and forth. Her gaze stopped on Jennalyn, pleading. “You broke up thirteen months ago?”
Jennalyn winced a little. “Just before Thanksgiving.”
Michele turned back to Kris. Her shoulders were tight. Her head was high. “You were engaged when we started dating? To Jennalyn?”
“I’m telling you, ’Chele, it didn’t matter. She doesn’t matter.” Kris’s sleazy alter ego showed himself.
His eyes darted to Ryland, and Jennalyn understood everything. Kris didn’t care about Michele. He cared about her brother’s position in the medical industry. He cared about how a marriage to a Davids could further his career.
“Kris.” Jennalyn shook her head and enjoyed watching him pale a couple shades. He knew she knew what he’d planned. “That’s a new low, even for you.”
Ryland took Jennalyn’s hand and pulled her behind him. His dad moved around the table and took up the same kind of protective stance in front of Michele. Michele placed a hand on her dad’s arm and stepped around him to face Kris directly.
“You should leave.” Michele spoke quietly, with a determination and strength Kris wouldn’t know how to argue with. “Any man who thinks Jennalyn is nothing isn’t worth the oxygen he breathes.”
Ryland and their dad stepped forward wearing matching smiles. The coldest, most dangerous smiles she’d ever seen. A shiver ran down Jennalyn’s spine as they closed in on Kris and escorted him from the room.
With him gone the tension that had pinched Jennalyn’s shoulders eased. Then she looked at Michele and Ellen. Biting her bottom lip, she sought the right words. An apology wasn’t enough.
The front door closed with a light bang. Footsteps smacked the wood floors as Ryland and his dad returned. Jennalyn still didn’t know how to act or what to say.
She was still trying to figure it out when Michele approached and caught her completely off guard by pulling her into a tight embrace.