Won't Miss You: A Brother's Best Friend Romance (We Shouldn't Book 4)

by Lilian Monroe

  This is where I’m supposed to be. This is how it’s supposed to feel when a man touches you.

  Mind-melting. Body-burning. Soul-awakening.

  He’s cracking me open, inch by inch, and I’m craving more of it. When Benji’s fingers work magic between my legs, heat gushes through my veins. Tingling erupts from my head to my toes, and I know he feels it.

  My body tenses, and unwanted thoughts enter my head. Is this wrong? Should I stop this? Should I be pushing him away?

  This isn’t why I came to Woodvale. It’s not why I bought the garage.

  Benji feels the tension in my body, and he tightens his grasp over my chest. His lips dip to my ear and with soft growls, he urges me toward the edge.

  “Give in to it, Rae,” he whispers in my ear. “Come on my fingers. Let go.”

  I hadn’t realized I was wound so tightly—that I always stopped myself from feeling like this. That I’ve kept myself locked away in my own body for years, never admitting I might need a man’s touch.

  But Benji’s hands are warm and strong, and they deliver magic wherever they brush over me. My mind holds on, trying to fight it, and Benji runs his teeth over my earlobe as his fingers find my bud once more.

  With every touch, he breaks me down. Gentle, yet unwavering. He teases the pleasure out of me, bringing me closer to the thing I’ve denied myself for years.

  Then, without warning, I come apart. I unravel in his arms, feeling the heat of desire rush through my veins. Back arching, lips falling open, legs spreading, the heat of an orgasm roars through my body. It cascades down my legs, making me tremble and moan. It sweeps up to my chest, to my neck, to my lips.

  I turn my head, finding Benji’s kiss. He groans, catching my lips and kissing me until I go limp in his arms.

  Eyes shining, he slips his hand out of my pants and holds me close.

  “How was that?”

  “Not what I was expecting to happen tonight,” I admit.

  “Me neither, but I’m not complaining.”

  I blush. Ever since I met him, he’s made me feel on edge. When we almost kissed in his garage, I thought it was the end of me.

  I’ve been fighting it too long.

  His eyes darken, and I reach down to feel the wood between his legs. Benji groans, closing his eyes.

  “Let’s go somewhere more private,” I whisper, kissing the edge of his jaw.

  When he opens his eyes again, heat swirls. His eyes, usually bright blue, look almost gray. He dips his chin down once, not needing to ask what I mean.

  It means I want more. I need more. We’ve crossed a boundary, and there’s no turning back.

  15

  Benji

  I probably shouldn’t be driving right now. I can’t even feel the power of the Aston Martin beneath me, because my thoughts are currently occupied with the woman sitting to my right.

  She slides her hand over my thigh and a groan slips through my lips.

  “You’re going to make me crash,” I say, my grip tightening on the steering wheel.

  “Please don’t.” She squeezes my thigh. “This car is my mortgage money for the next six months, and a pot of cash to buy a cheaper car.”

  I glance over at Rae. Her cheeks are still flushed, and her chestnut eyes shine more than they did before. A shy smile tugs at her lips, and my pulse races.

  She’s completely different from what I first expected.

  When Rae walked into the garage, I thought she was daddy’s little rich girl. I thought she felt entitled to everything she cast her eyes over.

  But what I see now is a woman who’s doing her best to take care of her family. She’s selling off one of her prized possessions for their sake.

  Where does Sawyer fit into all this? Is he just completely wrong about her?

  Having her in my arms felt incredible. When she came in the back seat of the car, I could feel the tension leaving her body. I could see it in the way her lips dropped open. The way her back arched. The way her wetness soaked my fingers.

  I glance over at the beautiful brunette next to me and she turns to meet my eye. The more layers I uncover of her, the more I feel like she’s special.

  “What?”

  “When was the last time a guy made you come?”

  She chokes, coughing. “What?” Her hand leaves my thigh, moving to thump her own chest.

  “You heard me.” I grin.

  “What kind of question is that?”

  “I’m just wondering. It felt pretty incredible to me, and—”

  “You want a pat on the back? A gold star? You want me to tell you what an amazing lover you are and how much you rocked my world?” A grin teases her lips as she shakes her head, smoothing a finger over her brow and putting a palm to her cheek. She’s blushing.

  I shrug. “Something like that.”

  We turn onto the main road through Woodvale, about five minutes from home. The closer we get, the more excitement twists my gut.

  Rae reaches between my legs, a wicked grin painted on her lips. “Benji,” she says in a low rasp. “You were incredible. The best lover I’ve had in a while. No one else has made me come the way you did.”

  I know she’s joking, but her hand is stroking my cock through my pants, and I allow myself to believe her. I groan, trying my best to keep my eyes on the road.

  Her hand continues its torturous movement up and down my shaft and I suck a breath in.

  “Is that what you wanted me to say?” she asks. I can hear the grin in her voice, but I can’t look. I know if I turn to glance at her, I’ll run the car into a light pole.

  I nod. “More or less.”

  Her hand strokes. My heart thumps. She leans into my ear, dropping her voice.

  “I want you to do it again, Benji. I want you to make me come like that a thousand times over.”

  All the blood in my body is rushing down between my thighs. Her hand grips the outline of my cock as it strains against my jeans.

  I do my best to nod. “I can do that.”

  I can definitely do that.

  We turn onto my street, and I freeze. Rae feels the shift and pulls her hand away.

  Parked in front of my house is a very familiar car. One that left the same day Rae arrived. One that belongs to my best friend. Rae’s brother.

  Sawyer Montgomery.

  Rae lets out a gasp as she adjusts her shirt, smoothing her hair and clearing her throat.

  Sawyer’s leaning against his old, beat-up Hyundai, arms crossed, eyes blazing.

  He sees us.

  I guess he got my email after all. Cursing myself for sending it, I slow down and give him a nod. His lips pinch as he scowls, his gaze moving from me to Rae and back again.

  So much for a happy family reunion.

  I park the car in my driveway, stealing a glance at the woman who just came in the back seat. The one who was stroking my cock a couple of seconds ago.

  Now, her face is white. Even her spattering of freckles looks pale.

  “You okay?” I ask.

  She nods. “I’m fine. Did you know…?”

  I shake my head, then hesitate. “Well… When you came here the other day, I sent him an email saying he should come back. I didn’t know if he’d get it—or if he’d listen.”

  Rae’s eyes soften, and she gives me a tight smile. “You did? Thank you. Please, can we not—”

  “Not a word,” I say.

  Her shoulders relax, and she exits the car. Rae greets her brother as I take a moment to compose myself, adjusting my pants around my quickly diminishing erection. Heat still swirls around me, my lust not quite dissipating.

  I glance over to see Rae standing a few feet apart from her brother, and I wonder if I made a mistake.

  Should I have stayed away from Rae? Should I have resisted the attraction I feel for her?

  Is that even possible?

  Having her in my arms was the best feeling I’ve had in a long time. It wasn’t like it’s been with other women. It didn’
t feel like a one-night stand, or the type of thing you never speak about again.

  As I take one last breath before exiting the car, I know I don’t want it to be the last time I touch her.

  Sawyer’s eyes shift to me when I slam the car door. His face is dark.

  “What’s this about? You two best friends now, or what?”

  “I fixed the car,” I say, nodding to the Aston Martin. “We were just driving it back.”

  “Glad to see you two are getting along,” he spits. “So much for sticking to your word.”

  His anger is red-hot, pent-up for over three and a half years. I know it’s not directed at me—not really—but the words still sting. I stand next to the car, staring him down.

  His gaze swings back to Rae, and I have the urge to step between them. I want to protect her from her brother’s wrath.

  But Rae stands her ground, and I know it’s not my battle to fight. I stand there, witnessing, trying not to let my divided loyalties drag me one way or the other.

  “Why are you here, Rae?” Sawyer crosses his arms.

  “I came to find you.” Her eyes are wide. I can feel the hesitation rolling off her as her mouth opens and closes again. She’s trying to choose the right words.

  “What if I don’t want to be found? What if I wanted you to stay back in the rich cesspit our parents created? Isn’t that the home you chose?” His lips pinch, and I can feel the anger pulsing through him. His eyes narrow as he looks at his sister, shaking his head. “You chose to stay, Rae. You chose money over me. You chose our parents’ bullshit luxury lifestyle instead of the business we were going to create together. You took everything from me, Rae. I couldn’t start a business on my own. Why the fuck would I want to reconnect with you?”

  His eyes blaze. Rae’s throat tightens as she swallows.

  Sawyer’s not finished. He sucks a breath in through his teeth, ready to spit more fire in his sister’s direction. “Why would you come here? Why couldn’t you just leave me be? I’m fine without you. I don’t want you in my life. The moment you turned your back on me, you made it loud and clear where your priorities lie.”

  “You left before I could explain, Sawyer.” Rae’s brows draw together as she wrings her hands in front of her stomach. My gut tugs at me to run to her, to wrap my arms around her shoulders and pull her close. Make her feel better. Protect her from everything bad in the world—including her brother’s anger.

  How did my loyalty flip so quickly? A few weeks ago, I would’ve died for Sawyer. I promised him I’d drive Rae out of Woodvale. Now, that’s the last thing I want to do. The thought of her leaving makes me sick.

  Sawyer scoffs. “What could you possibly say that would make up for what you did?”

  “Lucy got pregnant,” Rae says, pleading.

  Sawyer straightens up. He frowns. “What?”

  “The day I accepted the job at Dad’s company is the day Lucy told me about the pregnancy. I knew they’d throw her out. I knew she’d need help. I couldn’t afford to stumble along for a few years with a fledgling business, Sawyer.”

  “W-what?” The blood drains from his face. He shakes his head. “No. She…” He clears his throat. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  The pain in his voice is evident. The lines in his face deepen. I feel for my best friend. I watch from afar, wanting to be there for both of them, but not wanting to move for fear of disturbing the moment.

  Sawyer’s not a bad guy. He’s fiercely loyal and sticks to his morals no matter what. Over the past year that I’ve known him, I’ve seen hints of his anger. He’s resented his family for a long time. Especially Rae. Now, I’m seeing it dissolve in mere instants.

  Rae takes a hesitant step toward her brother. “I was going to, but you found out about me taking the job, and you took off. I tried to call you, Sawyer. I tried to email you, to find you on social media. I hired private investigators all over the country to find you! I even sent one down to Mexico and another to Canada. I looked for you for three years.” She sucks in a breath, her bottom lip trembling. “Found you six months ago, but you still wouldn’t talk to me. That’s when Lucy and I decided to come up here. A fresh start—or at least, that’s what I’d hoped.”

  The ripped shreds of their broken relationship flutter in the breeze between them. I can smell the heartbreak and betrayal between them, but there’s a hint of something sweet.

  Forgiveness. Understanding.

  Sawyer runs a hand through his hair, shaking his head. “We were supposed to leave that day and start the business together. I came home, and Mom and Dad told me you’d accepted their job offer. They threw it in my face because I’d just refused to take it. I thought you sold out.”

  “I did,” Rae whispers. “But I did it for Lucy—and Roman.” A tear falls down her cheek, and all I want to do is brush it away.

  Sawyer is my best friend, but he’s in the wrong. Totally, completely wrong. Rae did what she thought was right to take care of her sister and nephew. She stayed back, in a place she hated, in order to provide for her family. She didn’t sell out—she sacrificed. Sacrificed her dream of having her own business with Sawyer. Sacrificed her independence. Her autonomy. She even sacrificed her relationship with Sawyer to take care of the one who needed her more.

  I understand that to my core. It speaks to something deep in my heart. Didn’t I take care of Sarah from the time my mother left until now? Wasn’t my sister my priority in everything? Even with Oliver and the kids in her life now, I still think of her all the time.

  It’s the reason I’m planning this over-the-top birthday party. It’s the reason I’m trying to protect her from our own father.

  I get it. Everything Rae did, all the choices she made, I understand.

  Sawyer’s shoulders slump as he brings his hands to his temples. He shakes his head, mumbling something.

  When he lifts his eyes up, he looks at me. “Is this true? Does Lucy have a kid?”

  A lump forms in my throat, and all I can do is nod. “He’s nearly three years old, Sawyer.”

  “That’s why you said I should come back.” My best friend’s eyes are wide as the horror of his actions settles in. He turns to his sister, shoving his hand in his hair. “I left you both behind to deal with that. I thought you sold out, Rae. I didn’t know.”

  She’s crying, closing the distance to her brother and wrapping him in a hug. I shrink back, not wanting to intrude, even though my heart wants to be with her.

  It surprises me how much I care—but not about Sawyer’s pain. It’s Rae that my eyes linger on. It’s Rae’s tears I want to brush away. It’s her I want to wrap in my arms and hold until she feels better.

  As I watch them cry on each other’s shoulders, I know I was right to tell him to come back. I know I was right about Rae.

  She’s not the spawn of hell. She’s not worse than Hitler. She’s better than both of us.

  Sawyer wipes his nose on the back of his palm, nodding to the car. “Can I meet him?”

  Rae’s face breaks into the most brilliant smile I’ve ever seen, and my heart stutters. No one can deny how much she cares about her family. She nods, her hair trembling around her face. She motions to the car, lifting her gaze to me.

  With shining eyes, she gives me an unsaid thank you. I soak it all up. There’s tenderness in her eyes. Appreciation. Gratitude.

  By telling Sawyer to come back, I didn’t ruin my chances with Rae. It was inconvenient timing, maybe, but I’d do it a million times over if it meant seeing the relief and happiness on Rae’s face. She walks over to me, accepting the outstretched car keys.

  Then, she surprises me by wrapping her arms around me and holding me close.

  “Thank you for telling him to come back,” she whispers, then pulls away and squeezes my shoulders. Her gaze says something else. I don’t know if what happened between us earlier was a flash, or if she wants to pick up where we left off.

  Disappointment wells up inside me at the thought, but I push it dow
n. Now is not the time to worry about sleeping with her.

  She smiles. I nod, unable to speak. I watch them drive away, letting out a sigh.

  Rae Montgomery is nothing like I thought she’d be. She’s worked for three and a half years to bring her family back together again, and I was able to witness the moment it happened. I was even able to contribute to it, by telling Sawyer to come back.

  As the taillights disappear around the corner, I let out a sigh. Sawyer’s old car is still parked on the street in front of my house, and my eyes linger on it for a moment.

  It’s not how I thought the evening would end, but somehow, it’s better.

  All the doubts I had about Rae’s intentions have evaporated. All the hesitations I had about her character are dismissed.

  She’s incredible. Loyal. Hard-working. She’s everything I admire and more. She’s strong, and brave, and vulnerable all at once.

  And she gave herself to me. She wanted to give me even more…but does she still feel the same way? The walls between us may have been broken today, but Sawyer’s arrival shifts things.

  We aren’t alone anymore. Even if Sawyer forgives his sister and reconnects with his family, it doesn’t mean he’ll want me anywhere near her. It’s a tangled web of family relationships, and I’m not sure I fit into any of it.

  The right thing to do would be to forget what occurred between me and Rae. Pretend it never happened. Let her reconnect with her family and give them all space…

  …but Rae has a hold on me, and I’m not sure I’ll be able to stay away.

  16

  Rae

  I glance at Benji in the rearview mirror as my heart squeezes. It’s surreal to have Sawyer sitting next to me, and I have Benji to thank for that.

  For someone who pretends to be gruff and mean and heartless, Benji is the one who told Sawyer to come back to Woodvale again. He’s the link that brought my brother into my life after three and a half years without any contact.