NORMAL

by Danielle Pearl

  Tuck cuts him off by digging his shoe into Robin's throat, and Robin makes a strangled choking sound, but I don't turn to look at him, I can't. I just tighten my hold on Sam, who stiffened at Robin's words, and I can feel in each of Sam's tensed muscles that he wants nothing more than to punish Robin for his claim - to resume his brutal beating. But he composes himself quickly.

  "I'll be right back," he tells Tuck, "keep him down."

  Tuck nods once, and then his brow furrows in concern when his eyes meet mine. I avert my gaze quickly in shame. I hate the way my old and new lives have collided tonight. Sam is one thing - I wanted him to know, to confide in him - It was my choice. But now Tuck heard Robin say he was my boyfriend, oh God, and my pitiful rambling! It wouldn't take a genius to figure out what had just gone down in this God forsaken alley.

  I cringe when I picture myself cowering against the wall with my skirt around my hips and a nasty bruise right on my cheek, visible to anyone. No wonder Tuck is looking at me with such pity. I am pitiful. I'm vaguely thankful that he had the foresight to ensure the rest of the group stayed back from the alley, but I know this won't stop the story from spreading for long.

  "I can- uh, walk," I murmur to Sam. I can tell he disapproves, and the truth is I don't want to be anywhere but his arms, but he places me gently on my feet anyway.

  Sam wordlessly firms his palm on the small of my back for support, and I'm grateful for the contact. When we reach the entrance to the alley, I'm relieved to see that only Carl, Dave, Tina, and Andrew remain. I look only at Carl, too mortified to see the others' faces right now. She is stricken with worry. She immediately grabs me and hugs me fiercely.

  "My God, Rory! What happened? Where did you go? What' going on? Where's Tuck?! No one will tell me anything!" she rants. I say nothing, do nothing, but hug her back.

  "Call the cops, tell them you need to report an assault. Then stay here with the girls, and make sure one of you lets me know as soon as you hear a siren, okay?" Sam instructs Andrew and Dave before he looks to Carl. "You got her?" he asks carefully. I feel her nod against my shoulder.

  He starts to leave, to go back to the alley, and I pull out of Carl's embrace.

  "Wait! Where are you goin'?" I ask desperately. Sam looks as if he's the one in pain when he meets my eyes.

  "Please just stay here with Carl. Okay, baby? Please."

  I nod, and Sam stalks purposefully back into the alley. I know Carl wants to ask more questions, but she won't in front of anyone else, so she just asks after Tuck again.

  "I don't know!" I cry. "He came after me! And then Sam saved me, and then Tuck was there, and now they're all there, and I don't know what's happening!" I'm frustrated, I feel like I have no control, and all I really want is to be back in Sam's arms, to apologize for our earlier fight, to beg him to forgive me.

  The sirens sound and the rest of the night is a blur of activity.

  Robin is arrested in front of everyone, but because of the beating he took from Sam, and probably Tuck too, he's taken away in an ambulance instead of a police car.

  I get treated for my scrapes and scratches in the back of another ambulance while I relay the events of the evening to a female detective. Someone scrapes under my fingernails, takes photos, and asks me technical questions about the attack and I'm glad no one I know is close enough to hear me. Andy took Tina back to the hotel at Sam's insistence, Tuck and Carl talk to a second detective, and although Sam stands with them, he doesn't take his eyes off of me.

  When I'm released from the ambulance with an appointment to go into the local precinct tomorrow afternoon, the detective who questioned me moves on to Sam, so I follow her, hanging back with Carl and Tuck who have finished making their statements.

  I listen to Sam explain how when he saw my friends had entered the bar, he'd asked after me, but no one knew where I'd gone - they'd thought I was right behind them. He went outside to look for me, but when he saw me in Robin's arms, he didn't recognize him, and he just thought I'd met a guy. He says he returned to the bar, but after a minute or so, he realized that it didn't make sense - that something was wrong - so he gestured to Tucker to follow him outside, and started back to where he'd seen me and continued in the direction of the hotel.

  "How did you realize something was wrong?" Detective Mora asks.

  Sam chews on the inside of his cheek and frowns. "Rory would never just go off with some random guy. I should've realized it right away, but I was just- distracted, I guess," Sam murmurs.

  "Distracted by what?" Mora asks, and I can't help but recall the pretty redhead he had his arm around earlier. Sam hesitates before answering.

  "Jealousy."

  Detective Mora nods in understanding and suddenly I'm utterly riveted by Sam's account of what happened. I'm vaguely aware of Carl taking the direction of Sam's statement as her cue to lead Tuck a little further down the sidewalk, so they are no longer listening, but I don't move. I'm not even sure if Sam knows I'm there, hanging on his every word.

  "I see. But how did you know Miss Pine didn't just decide to engage with a stranger? Plenty of young girls use spring break as an excuse to engage in activities that would otherwise be out of character for them."

  Sam chews his bottom lip, but his eye contact with the detective doesn't waver. "Not Rory," he says simply.

  "How can you be certain?" Mora presses him.

  "Because I know her. She has a history that... affected her... in certain ways. And one of those ways is that she doesn't like being touched, not even by her friends for the most part, and definitely not by strangers." Of course, Detective Mora already knows this from my own statement and the medical history I gave to the EMT. Sam closes his eyes for a moment and shakes his head. "But honestly, even if that wasn't the case, she still wouldn't do that, spring break or not," he adds definitively, and my heart twists in my chest at his faith in me.

  "Okay, let's rewind a bit. When you exited the bar for the second time, what did you do?" Mora asks.

  "Like I said, I looked for Rory where I'd last seen her, but she wasn't there. I just shouted at Tuck to find her and took off across the street in that direction and then started toward the hotel since it's just down there," he points in the direction of our hotel, "but I heard her scream and I... I panicked, I couldn't find her-"

  "You heard her scream? How did you know it was Miss Pine?" the detective cuts him off.

  Sam's brow furrows, he rakes his fingers through his hair and his stress is palpable. "I... I don't know, I know her voice, I guess... and I already thought she was in trouble... and I was pretty sure she'd said 'Sam'-"

  "Which would be you," she interrupts again.

  Sam nods. "Yeah."

  "So then what did you do?"

  Sam takes a calming breath, it would seem he needs it. Then, he starts to explain how he thought my scream had come from behind him so he turned back in the direction he'd come from, but no one was there. Tuck had followed him out, and apparently the rest of our group had realized something was up and had followed as well because Sam noticed them across the street, standing around outside the bar in consternation.

  "What were your other friends doing at this time?" Mora asks.

  Sam shrugs. "I don't know, I just barely noticed they'd come outside, I was busy," he says irritably.

  "Busy looking for Miss Pine?"

  Sam scowls in exasperation, clearly annoyed by the detective's thoroughness, at her stating the obvious. I can't say I blame him.

  "I'm sorry, Mr. Caplan, but I need to ensure that I understand the details correctly. It's my job," she says apologetically. Sam sighs in acceptance.

  "Yes, I was looking for Rory. I pointed down the street, in the opposite direction, for Tuck to run ahead of me, and I ran after him. But then I noticed the alley and I just... stopped, and I heard them and it was dark, but I could make out figures, and-"

  "You say you heard them?"

  "I heard Rory shout 'yes'. She sounded, like, distressed, and then a man's vo
ice said something and I ran to them-"

  "Could you understand what the male voice said?" the detective interrupts again. Sam hesitates and I swallow anxiously. I can already tell that he heard exactly what Robin's awful words were. Sam nods and the detective raises her eyebrows expectantly.

  "He called her a 'fucking whore'," he says quietly. Detective Mora bristles in place in obvious discomfort at hearing Robin's vitriol, and I wonder what the hell she was expecting to hear when she came to investigate what she referred to as an "attempted sexual assault".

  "What happened next?" she prompts.

  "He had her up against the wall, holding her by her neck," Sam grits out. His fingers rake through his hair again and he bites his lip harshly before taking a deep breath. "He had her skirt hiked up, and he was... hurting her. As soon as I reached them I pulled him off of her and he swung at me. We fought. Eventually I got him down, Tuck came over and kept an eye on him while I helped Rory and we called the police, and that was it," he says with a shrug.

  "By 'Tuck', you mean Tucker Green, correct?"

  Sam nods.

  "Let's just back up a moment, Mr. Caplan. When you reached Mr. Forbes and Miss Pine, did you recognize him?"

  "Yes. I'd seen his Facebook photo," Sam replies.

  "You say he was hurting her, can you elaborate?" the detective presses.

  Sam swallows audibly. "Like I said," he says carefully, "he had her up against the wall by her throat - he was fucking strangling her... she looked so fucking scared," his voice breaks. His head drops, his eyes close and he rubs his face with his palm.

  I just stand there, mesmerized by how affected Sam is by the night's events. The realization of what he went through tonight - from thinking I would hook up with some random guy, to searching for me frantically... to finding me in that fucking alley, being attacked, God, and fighting for me - it washes over me with a wall of grief. I hate that he saw me like that - so helpless and frightened. I feel so pathetic.

  This is what Robin does to me, how he makes me feel - that I have no control in my own fate. That I only matter, only exist, in reference to him. My father's words forge their way back through my mind unbidden, reminding me that I am nothing but a small-town girl, common and unimportant. Worthless.

  But Sam, he has the opposite effect. He cares about me. To him, I matter. And with every selfless gesture of friendship, of affection, Sam has managed the impossible - to begin to revive a sense of self-worth Robin - and my own father - spent so much time obliterating. The realization calms me, even as it overwhelms me with emotion.

  I blink back tears as Sam continues his statement, "I knew what he was going to do-"

  "And what is that?"

  Sam lifts his head and glares intently at the detective. "Rape her."

  "And just to be completely clear, you knew this because he had her skirt hiked up?"

  "He was trying to get her fucking underwear down and hold her legs apart. And he'd done it before. Several times. He's obsessed with her."

  "Miss Pine told you this?"

  "She told me about the- uh, assaults, and about their history. She didn't say he was obsessed with her - that was my own conclusion."

  Sam finally notices me in his peripheral, staring at him in awe, and we lock eyes.

  "So you pulled Mr. Forbes off of her," Detective Mora prompts, but Sam is still just staring at me, profound emotion in his gaze. I wrap my arms around myself protectively, still feeling so vulnerable, and I can't help but wish they were his arms around me instead of my own. "Mr. Caplan?" Sam blinks and returns his eye contact to the detective. "So you pulled him off of her," she repeats.

  "Yeah. We fought until he was down, Tuck found us and held our friends back, told them to call the police, which they did."

  Detective Mora glares at him for a few moments as if she's trying to decide whether or not she wants to say something. Finally her eyes narrow slightly. "So after you helped Miss Pine from the alley, did you return to Mr. Forbes?"

  Sam nods. "Tuck and I made sure he didn't get up. I didn't want him to come after Rory again."

  "That's all? You just held him down and waited for the authorities to arrive?"

  Sam considers this a moment, and then nods.

  I am literally shaking with anxiety. But not for myself - for Sam. I don't have to have seen what happened at that point in the alley to know that Sam and Tuck didn't simply wait for the police to arrive, I'd have known that even if he hadn't made certain that they'd be warned as soon as anyone heard sirens. I saw the look on his face, and just like Cam, I know he couldn't just let the police handle Robin without at least getting in a few more good hits.

  I'm just glad Sam didn't kill him. That he's not in jail right now. The last thing I'd ever want is for Sam to get in trouble because of me and my past. Sam looks over at me again, as if now that he's realized I'm here, he can't keep his eyes off of me for long. Part of him is probably irrationally worried that Robin will come out from nowhere again and attack me. Part of me certainly is.

  Detective Mora, obviously annoyed at Sam's distraction, follows his gaze. "Miss Pine, I have a few more questions for Mr. Caplan and you've had a long night. You can go back to your hotel now, get some rest."

  Carl must overhear this because she's at my side almost immediately and gently puts her arm around me. She suggests I come back to the hotel with her and offers for Tuck to stay with Sam. I'm too overwhelmed to think anymore, and even though every cell in my body wants to stay with Sam myself, I let her lead me back to the hotel. Sam doesn't say a word to me as I leave. In fact, I realize, he hasn't said a word to me since he begged me to stay with Carl outside the alley.

  ****

  Carl walks me to my room without a word. She follows me inside and sits on the sofa while I change and then go into the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth, trying desperately to rid my mouth of Robin's rancid taste. It won't do, I'll need a shower, I'll need to rigorously scrub every part of my body that Robin touched, but it will have to wait for now.

  Finally, I join Carl on the sofa.

  "Are you okay?" she asks softly.

  I shrug. "Yes, no... I will be. I've been through worse," I murmur.

  I explain to her a little about Robin, though I don't offer many details. I just say that he's my ex and that he used to hurt me, including forcing me into sex. Her eyes fall to my hip, and I know she's making the connection to my scar, but she doesn't press me to elaborate and I'm grateful. I give Carl the okay to tell Tuck the truth since he's probably figured some of it out already and, frankly, he deserves it after helping me. Carl swears that she and Tuck won't tell a soul, that they'll tell the rest of the group that some stranger attacked me, and that Robin and our sordid past doesn't have to follow me back to Port Woodmere. I want so desperately to believe her.

  "Where did you go? I mean, you came into the bar with us, I saw you, but when I got back from the bathroom you weren't there. Cap asked where you were and no one had seen you since you walked in, and he kinda freaked - he yelled at me for leaving you alone and ran out the door. But then he came back in a couple minutes later and he seemed even more pissed off and before I know it, Tuck is following him back outside and we all kinda followed Tuck."

  "I- well, I left." I take a deep, calming breath. "Sam and I had a fight earlier, right before we left for dinner - it was why I was late comin' down," I explain. "The whole thing was my fault, I was just bein' stupid, so when we got to the bar, I was lookin' for him to apologize. But then when I saw him he had his arm around some girl, and he was laughin' with her and smilin', and... I don't know, I just couldn't handle it. I know we're not, like, together and he doesn't owe me anything... but we'd just hooked up a few hours ago, you know?"

  Carl furrows her brow. "He had his arm around a girl?" She's in disbelief. Yeah, so was I.

  "Yep," I confirm. "And she was pretty, too. A redhead."

  Carl's eyebrows shoot up and her jaw drops, and I just stare at her blankly. "Shit,
Rory! That was Thea, Cap's cousin."

  Now I'm sure my stunned expression mirrors hers. I am so freaking stupid. I drop my face into my hands in embarrassment and after a moment Carl's hand sooths up and down my arm in consolation, so I continue my account.

  "Well, obviously I didn't know it was Thea, and bein' the psycho jealous bitch that I apparently am, I left. I was gonna text you when I got to the hotel. I mean, it was right there, but Robin came out of nowhere and I just... froze." I don't give the details I had to give the detective. I just tell her how Robin pulled me into the alley and was all over me. That I tried to fight him off, but he was rough and pushed me around, and then Sam came and pulled him off of me.

  When I finish speaking, Carl hugs me again for a long time. When she pulls away, honestly, I do feel a little better.

  "Do you want a distraction?" she asks.

  "Depends," I say warily.

  "You'll like it," she assures me with a smirk, so I agree. "Tuck and I are officially together," she says, and I actually squeal with happiness for her.

  "Really? That's amazing! You have no idea how happy I am for you, Carl! How did that happen?" I ramble, thrilled that after the awful night I've had to endure, at least one good thing has come of it.

  "Well, you know, when Tuck and Cap were in that alley and I was with you, I was crazy worried about him. I thought I was going to lose my mind - I didn't know if he was hurt, or what. After the cops got there and he came out, I literally jumped on him and started crying. I have no idea what got into me, but I just hugged him so hard and it just came out. I told him how worried I'd been and that I love him and he said he loves me too! Can you believe it?"

  "Uh, yeah," I say sarcastically. Of course I can believe it, I've been telling her this for months. Carl rolls her eyes at me.

  "Well anyway, he kissed me and we talked, you know, while you guys were giving your statements and everything, and... you were right, he was just worried I'd freak out if I knew how he felt, and I admitted the same, and, well... we're together!" she says excitedly, and I grin widely. I am truly ecstatic for her and I tell her so.