by Rose Francis
Kent had taken his brother’s advice to heart but it was so much easier said than done. He was consumed by thoughts of Kimberly, felt like he was becoming increasingly obsessed with her with every day he didn’t see her—fantasizing, planning to ‘accidentally’ run into her. Dreaming of the day she finally left Damien to run into his arms.
What confused him further was that his attraction was not sexual. Not that he didn’t imagine her in that way, but what he wanted most was to hear her talk and see her smile again. Find out what her laugh was like. Learn more about her—what she liked to do, things that brought her joy, and he wanted to be one of those things.
He tried to be respectful but Damien kept leaving gaps, encouraged their friendship even.
“I promised to take her to the opening of this movie tonight but something came up. Can you take her?” Damien had asked of him once. “She really wants to go tonight.”
At another time he said:
“Crap—I told her I’d pick her sister up from the airport. Could you by any chance...?”
Give her a reason to feel grateful to me? Yes.
Even Kimberly herself started asking him for small favors.
Since they were all on the same campus—although Kimberly was an undergrad while they were grad students—he started to feel bolder and more comfortable popping in to see her at her coffee shop since it was nearby. She usually walked to work and mostly had daytime shifts but occasional night shifts. Sometimes she walked home alone to her on-campus apartment, sometimes Damien accompanied her. Then one day, after a campus-wide alert had been sent out regarding a girl being attacked the day before, and Damien was unavailable to walk her, she texted him.
“I get off at ten tonight. If you’re around, can you walk me to my place?”
Anything for you Kimberly, he thought, happily agreeing to do so.
As weeks turned into months and they got closer, Kent became aware of her few moments of weakness. He did everything in his power not to pounce, his brothers words haunting him, but he knew he was getting dangerously close to the point where he was willing to risk everything to have that chance, that moment for anything more to happen between them.
What drove him crazier was that he knew she was aware of his interest, and had a feeling she was at least mildly interested in him that way. He felt like if she had been totally oblivious, it might have been easier for him to pine away at a distance, but to sense that chance, a small opening...it made him even crazier about her.
Damien had told him once that Kimberly never came over to the apartment the boys shared because she didn’t want to give anyone a reason to think she was ‘loose.’
They had both laughed, finding the notion ridiculous.
Still, their bachelor pad remained relatively girl-free.
Then one day, she decided she’d finally come over to see them.
Kent figured getting to know him made it easier for her to feel comfortable in the home of two men. Besides, she was a senior now. He speculated she was getting over her puritanical perceptions and ready to put on her woman panties in general.
Damien got stuck shooting a film project, so when Kimberly showed up, it was just the two of them for a while. Damien kept promising to be there soon—just one more scene to shoot, he’d said.
He and Kimberly ended up watching a whole movie and still, Damien hadn’t arrived.
When he felt she was getting ready to go, he made a move he spent the next few days regretting. “Don’t go yet,” he’d said rather desperately, grabbing her hand and holding it tight.
She looked at him strangely then pulled her hand away. Then she got up from the couch and headed for the door.
He was right behind her apologizing.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything by that,” he said, reaching for her arm to get her to look at him, but it seemed she sensed it for she avoided his grab, opened the door and ran off like a bat out of hell.
Damien never asked him about it, so he knew she didn’t mention it to him, but things weren’t the same between them for a while.
Then months later, after he and Damien had graduated from grad school and she had graduated from undergrad, just as Damien had started preparing to propose to her, they found out they were related.
At some point, she came to him and cried it out, and he was happy to just be her friend again. It killed him to see her so hurt, so broken. Their moment of reconnection was truly about her and nowhere in his body did he feel a sexual spark even though they were alone, and he knew then what it felt like to feel pure love for another person.
Days later, she contacted him again.
“Can we talk?” she said.
At the time, he didn’t know when she invited him over to her childhood home where she was living again since her graduation, that her mom had moved out, her dad was at work, and her sister was spending the summer taking classes abroad.
She led him up to her room and they sat on her bed and still, he didn’t think anything of it—he was ready to be the friend she needed again.
She looked sad as he expected, and they began just talking. This time, however, it wasn’t about her and Damien.
She started asking him about him—about the night he seemed to want to kiss her.
“Do you...have a crush on me?” she asked.
He thought it was funny—he knew he loved her then, and figured that’s what she really wanted to ask but couldn’t bring herself to be so presumptuous.
“I love you,” he sort of just blurted out, and at the same time, reached out to caress her head.
That point of contact, plus finally getting to tell her how he felt started something in him he realized later he should have recognized. His love and desire for her had merged again—but as he had for the past year and a half, he kept a handle on it. Despite them being alone on her bed, with her sitting so close to him, looking at him with those beautiful brown eyes. Despite, after silently pining after her, having a real chance to be with her.
She’d looked surprised, emotional—almost overwhelmed, although not surprisingly so, considering all the recent events. He figured she was coming to terms with how she felt about him too, confronting the possibility of them being together. Perhaps feeling guilty for talking about it so soon—with such little mourning period between that moment and the demise of her relationship with Damien.
She grabbed his hand and said: “Kent I love you too,” and he almost lost it then.
The feeling of her holding him, any part of him made his desire suddenly grow to new proportions. Plus the words she’d just spoken...
Then she brought her face to his for a kiss and his inner fireworks went off.
He kissed her like the world was ending and between the two of them, they undressed in no time.
He didn’t spend as much time exploring her body then as he did later to make up for it, the feeling of wanting to physically be a part of her at that moment was too strong.
He flipped her beneath him, and still kissing her, ran his hand over her breasts, her stomach, her hips, her thighs, and finally, his fingers found her entrance.
She was ready for him and it was then that he completely lost it, feeling how wet she was.
He quickly readjusted, positioning himself over her and before she could say or do anything else, he was inside of her.
They rocked, moved, danced, all while kissing and touching each other hungrily.
He’d tried to take it easy, but wasn’t sure how much he succeeded.
He enjoyed every second of it—her warmth, the firm hold her body had on his, every emotional and startled gaze, every moment her hands held onto his arms for dear life.
He didn’t how long he lasted, but he felt the familiar feel of an intense building up and his body moved faster and faster until everything that had slowly built, from the moment she made him tell her how he felt exploded inside of her and he felt like his spirit almost left his body. His climax was so strong, he expected to see hi
s fluids shooting from her mouth.
He was almost sure she came with him—when he looked at her, she seemed spent.
He grabbed her, and laying next to her, held her close to him, kissing her forehead—he didn’t want to let her go.
He happily lay stroking her hair, still coming down from that intense moment when eventually he realized she was crying—although trying to suppress it.
He continued holding and stroking her.
“Sh,” he whispered. “Don’t feel bad—I love you.”
It felt so good to say it again. He felt like he loved her a little more every time he said it.
He wished the moment could have lasted longer, but her phone rang, making them both jump and leave the moment for a bit.
“I’m not getting that,” she said, and he was relieved. “But we should...”
“Sh,” he said again. “We don’t have to do anything else right now. Just let me have one more minute. Please.”
He felt her relax against him.
Next thing he knew, they’d both fallen asleep.
She awoke in panic sometime later and got him up saying her dad would be home soon.
“You’re a grown woman...”
“Yeah but I don’t do that in his house...especially not when he’s in it! He doesn’t have to know about this yet.”
“What is this exactly?” he asked, watching her quickly grab pieces of clothes then disappear into the bathroom.
“This,” she said, returning, pulling on a pair of jeans, “is a beginning. A new beginning.”
She looked over at him with what looked like hope and it made him even happier. She looked happy herself in that moment—happier than he’d seen her since her breakup.
He got up and wrapped her in a hug.
“You don’t know how long I’ve been hoping and waiting for this. I never thought it would actually happen but here we are. You’re mine now.” And he kissed her.
She kissed him back briefly then reminded him to get ready to get out of there.
It was the happiest day of his life. Second even to her telling him she was pregnant later because although that blew his mind in a different way, he wasn’t fully ready like the day he took her for the first time. That day, it was about damned time.
He knew he shouldn’t have slept with her when he did—he knew it was too soon, but who expects a guy dying of thirst not to touch the glass of water you put right in front of him? And he definitely didn’t expect her to use it against him like this.
Kent left the bar to go for a drive, then decided to visit his favored brother Elliott—he needed to talk to somebody.
***
“Bro, I don’t even know where to begin. I mean I never expected this from Kimberly—she’s the last person I’d expect anything of this sort from. She was trustworthy, honest, had high morals, had this innocence about her...everything I loved about her, it was all a lie! I don’t understand how she could do this to me—she knew I loved her, why not trust me to support her and help her through this? Stupid me actually thought I’d won her over, believed she loved me. I just wanted her so bad—how could she do this to me? I loved her more than I’ve ever loved anyone or anything before. Even now I don’t understand how it happened—how she managed to capture my...everything. And the more I got to know her, the more I fell for her.” He sighed, realizing he was rambling. “I couldn’t be happier when I found out she was pregnant…” Kent stopped again, aware of his brother patiently waiting, pretending to follow along while he left out the biggest part of the story.
“Elliott, don’t tell anyone yet, but Kimberly only got together with me because she was already pregnant with Damien’s baby. You can guess the rest.”
Elliott’s eyes nearly popped out of his head.
“Wait, what? Kimberly? That’s crazy! She’s probably literally the last person I’d expect to do anything like that. To tell you the truth man, she was so holier-than-thou...” His voice trailed off as if he thought twice about saying whatever he was going to say next. “Do you still love her?” he said instead.
Kent sighed. Despite everything, he still loved her. Truly. Madly. Deeply.
“Yes,” he said, his emotions kicking up into a whirlwind inside of him again.
“For what it’s worth bro, I think she really loves you too, so all that stuff you’re worried about—about it all being a lie—you need to stop. God knows you don’t need to go making up things to go all ‘woe is me’ about.”
Still, it didn’t take long for sad thoughts to assault him once he said goodbye to his brother to head home.
What about him was so unlovable? Was it merely being a Davenport?
His mother had hated him for being James Davenport’s son when their marriage went sour, and everyone hated his grandfather Luke Davenport—although him being evil probably had something to do with it. Not that Luke cared for being loved—he hated everyone right back. Even his grandmother, Luke’s estranged and long-missing wife, couldn’t care less about any of them—she had run off all those years ago with some man, never to be seen again.
Kent wondered, did merely being a Davenport make one evil? Did it carry some bad energy with it that spread wickedness, destruction, and negativity to anyone associated with it? Was it a cursed family name?
Kent chuckled to himself.
Boy was Elliott lucky—he’d gotten away from the apparent curse…but not before getting involved in a crazy love triangle, probably the only ‘bad’ thing that happened to him. But what was so bad about two women loving you with all they had? Kent would rather be on that end of a love triangle than the one he ended up on.
And why couldn’t even James love him? Did he not have enough room in his heart for more than one child? Sure, James had five children that they knew about—his womanizing ways one of the reasons his mom couldn’t take being with him anymore, especially after learning he’d gotten one of his side pieces pregnant. Still, Kent didn’t understand how not one person on this earth found him worthy enough to be loved unconditionally. Catherine claimed to love him now, despite her past actions, but didn’t actions speak louder than words? Kimberly had said she loved him and look what she did.
Kent had wanted to break the cycle and looked forward to being the best father in the world to his child with Kimberly Jordan, the woman of his dreams.
Kimberly, he thought. She had great parents. How could she turn out to be so cold, so ruthless?
Even as he said the words in his mind he knew them to be lies—Kimberly was neither cold nor ruthless. She just…
He sighed. She probably just wanted to be a good mother and protect her child, he was sure.
He let out another breath.
Why am I making excuses for her? What she did, it was…He didn’t know what to call it. I need to talk to her, he thought. I need to understand.
He also, very simply, needed to see her.
CHAPTER FIVE
Kimberly was ecstatic to see Kent at her door but also terrified. Her father, aunt and sister weren’t home so she directed him to the couch to talk.
She could handle anger, barely—him screaming at her and telling her he hated her for what she did. She could even handle—barely—the way he’d called her name earlier—his tone like that of a child calling out for his mother after waking up from a bad dream, and simultaneously, like that of a man whispering goodbye to his beloved at her grave.
She couldn’t quite handle him in tears, his broken heart laid bare, but she would have expected it.
What she neither expected nor could handle was the quiet nonjudgmental manner he approached her with, simultaneously emotionless and highly emotional, his feelings simmering just beneath the surface. She didn’t know which emotion would break nor when, leaving her completely unarmed.
He took a deep breath then asked:
“Can you tell me why Kimberly? Just…please tell me why.”
His words were gentle and pleading.
She wanted to take the ch
ance to tell him again how sorry she was and how much she really loved him, how much it hurt her to have hurt him, how much she wanted to take that pain away. But she fought those impulses. She resigned to the fact that her best action would be to simply answer his questions.
“I suspected I was pregnant one night after feeling nauseous for a few days, so I took a pregnancy test and it came out positive. Then I found out—right after—that Damien was my half-brother.” She shivered in disgust at the memory. “Kent, I couldn’t let my baby grow up with any stigma—my child would just be a thing to people—a product of incest. Just a weirdo, a freak. I couldn’t let that happen! And I couldn’t bring myself to get an abortion—I tried. Then my sister said something that got me thinking: we were talking one day and she mentioned how you’d make a great husband and father, the way you were such a good friend to me. Since you seemed to be in love with me I thought…I thought I could just get with you and we could be a family.” She looked down, trying to block out the pain on his face at her words. “My baby would have a healthy, loving, normal family.”
She looked up again, trying to search his eyes but they were cast downward.
He let out a breath.
“Do you really love me Kimberly?”
She noticed his eyes were glistening. But what pained her was not the threat of tears in them—it was the expression on his face and the tone of his voice: so open, so vulnerable. Pleading, as if he were begging her to say yes even though there was no other answer.
“Yes Kent, I love you—more than I thought possible. I didn’t realize it when I first came up with this plan, but slowly it became clear to me that I loved you before Damien and I even fell apart, and since then, I love you more and more, every single day…”
“Kimberly, stop please.” He sighed. “Did you believe that I loved you when I told you I did? Over and over?”
“Yes Kent…”
“Then why didn’t you trust me to make my own decision about this? Why didn’t you trust in my love for you?”