by Rose Francis
“Kent I…”
“See Kimberly, I think you did believe me when I said I loved you, and it seems you didn’t love me at the time or you were in deep denial so I’m wondering: how did you manage to give it up so easily? I mean I know it was for the baby and all, but you seemed to have no qualms about it. Could it have been anyone else on top of you and I just happened to be at the right place and time?”
“Kent!” That accusation stabbed her. “You know that’s not true!” She couldn’t stop her tears. He was doing this deliberately—he had to know better. “Kent, I’m not like that and you know it. Damien was my first, and you were my second. What I did with you two...”
“It’s called sex Kimberly.”
“...It wasn’t out of curiosity or lust or anything.”
“So what was it out of Kimberly? For me that is.”
“I told you—I loved you Kent! Even if I didn’t know it at the time…”
“See that’s what I mean—at the time you didn’t think you loved me but you were able to let me screw you.” She flinched. “How easy was that for you?”
She stared at him disbelievingly.
“I mean I guess the baby made things easier but…”
“Kent, don’t do this!” she cried. “Kent, I knew I felt something for you and I definitely cared about you in a lot of ways. I thought you were a wonderful man, and you had become one of my best friends…Kent wait!” she called as she saw him get up and head to the door. “I was gonna tell you! I tried to tell you once, and then when I couldn’t, I’d decided to completely leave you out of it!”
She exhaled deeply, noticing he had paused in his beeline towards the door, although his back remained to her.
She continued:
“My other plan was to tell everyone I was going to teach English in China or Japan or something, leave the country, then put the child up for adoption—but that was the day you found my pregnancy test!”
He spun around.
“Oh you love making decisions for us don’t you Kimberly? But honestly, did you not think I’d try to come and visit you? As often as possible? Did you really think you could pull off just going away? I mean, even if you had broken it off with me—you think I would have just stayed away? I never planned to let you go Kimberly!”
His eyes glistened more.
He turned quickly and left the house.
“Kent!”
She cried into her hands as the door shut behind him.
Then she got up and swung the door open to follow him.
“Kent!” she cried. “Please don’t leave me—I need you! And it has nothing to do with the baby! Please Kent, listen to me! Kent…oh god…oh god Kent something’s wrong...”
She collapsed, her stomach cramping fiercely.
“Nice try Kimberly,” Kent said, but he was quickly at her side, bending to help her.
“Oh god I think—I think I’m losing the baby!”
“No,” she thought she heard him whisper as he scooped her up.
He took her to his car, laying her on the backseat, then hopped into the driver’s seat and pulled out his cell phone. Starting the vehicle, he asked Kimberly before dialing:
“Do you want to see your mother?”
She groaned and hoped he understood it was a no.
Still, she heard him say into the phone:
“Ms. Jordan, it’s Kent. I just thought I’d tell you I’m taking Kimberly to a hospital as we speak—she thinks she’s losing the baby!”
“What? Oh dear God…” Kimberly heard come through the device.
“Is there anything I can do? Anything you know of?”
Most of what her mom said next wasn’t clear to Kimberly, but she heard the word ‘relax.’
When Kent disconnected the call, he put on some soft music.
CHAPTER SIX
Dr. Lake looked at Kimberly with concerned dark eyes.
“Kimberly honey, you’re gonna have to take it easy or we’re going to have to put you on bed rest. Have you had spotting? Often?”
“Well yeah but that’s normal right?”
“Kimberly, you’ve probably been in danger of having a miscarriage before, you’re in danger now. I need you to listen to me: your baby tried to abort itself—you need to stay far, far away from stress, all right? At all costs! Hi Vivian…” she said suddenly.
Kimberly noticed her mother at the patient room entrance.
“Oh, Laura, I’m sorry to come in like this—I was just getting so impatient…”
“It’s okay Vivian. Look, your daughter, she’s all right—she just really needs to relax okay?”
She smiled wide, rubbing Kimberly’s shoulder.
“Her stress levels are way too high. Anyway, I know you’ll take care of her. Kimberly…” she pointed a finger at Kimberly in mock admonishment.
Kimberly smiled at her mom’s friend.
“I’ll try to take it easy doc.”
“You know we have psychiatrists…”
“I know, I know. I don’t think I’ll need their services.”
Kimberly smiled at Laura who smiled back.
“Well all right Kim. Check back with me at least once a week for the next few weeks okay? If you have any problems, any questions…”
“I know the drill Dr. Laura.”
“Okay hon. Now if everything goes as it should, you’re due in about eighteen weeks.”
“What? Shouldn’t it be like, sooner than that? I looked it up and it’s supposed to be about forty weeks total...”
“Yeah, and you’re about twenty-two weeks along—you expecting a premature baby?”
“No but listen—I took a pregnancy test about six months ago and it said I was pregnant then and that’s more than twenty-four weeks right? Like, I should be about to hit my third trimester. Plus my last period...”
“Honey, your test must’ve been wrong because it doesn’t look like you’re that far along—you’ve got a few more weeks in your second trimester yet. Look, stress does funny things to the body—it can cause chemical changes that could render a false positive. Doesn’t happen that often, but it happens. As for your period, again, stress, even low body weight or a vigorous exercise regimen can make you skip a period without you actually being pregnant.”
“But then that would mean…” she continued that train of thought in her head: the baby could be Kent’s?
“Doctor, are you sure?”
Laura put one hand akimbo and cocked her head, looking at her like: you dare question me?
“Oh my god I can’t believe this! This is great!”
Kimberly felt a huge burden lifted off of her shoulders.
“You’ll be just fine if you stay like this!” Dr. Lake said, then checked her pager.
She waved goodbye and left, smiling.
Kimberly watched her mom approach her with a radiant smile.
“Oh baby, I am so happy for you—for all of us!”
It was a look she hadn’t seen on her mom’s face in a long time.
Kimberly herself felt ecstatic—not only did she realize she wanted the baby when she thought she was about to lose it, but it was probably Kent’s! She sobered up in regret over the neglect and maltreatment her baby received when she thought it was Damien’s.
Then reality hit her—what should she tell Kent? Should she even tell him?
Considering their current situation, it didn’t seem like a good time to take back what she’d said and tell him he was indeed the father.
When her cell phone rang, Kimberly silently asked her mom for a moment alone. Vivian nodded her head, still smiling and left.
Kimberly picked up the call, delighted to see her sister’s name on the caller ID.
“Oh, I’m so glad you’re all right! Kent called me and told me you were at the hospital.”
“Thanks Monique.”
“Hey Kim—can I ask you something?”
Kimberly felt a bit of unease—something in Monique’s tone put her on guard.<
br />
“What is it Monique?”
“Did you and Kent break up?”
Kimberly sighed.
“Yes.”
“How come? That seems kind of weird and not very timely...”
Kimberly let out another breath.
“To tell you the truth Monique, I actually thought I was pregnant with Damien’s baby and just kind of lied to everyone about it—including Kent. I was going to try to pass the baby off as his but he found out about my plan. Believe it or not though, I just found out the baby is Kent’s!”
She heard her sister take a deep breath.
“Kim, can you please tell me what the hell you were doing?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Lying to Kent like that about the baby! Kim, you’ve been around me way too long. What was that all about? I mean, didn’t you guys do a test at some point?”
“No. It’s a long story but only mother knew about my plan from the beginning so she kept up the lie with me. As you know, she’s good at that…”
“And the apples don’t fall far from the tree I guess. Kimberly, what’s wrong with you? You’ve got this fine man who’s head over heels in love with you, would do anything for you, he’s handsome, sweet, and did I mention handsome?”
Kimberly laughed.
“You sound like you want him.”
“Are you kidding me? He’s a bona fide catch.” She paused. “Why did you want to throw him away? I don’t understand—I thought you loved him.”
“Oh Monique I did…I do!”
“Then why…?”
“Why what Monique? Why not tell him the truth so he could leave me? There’s no such thing as unconditional love—he wouldn’t have stayed!”
“Kimberly, it doesn’t go anywhere, not that kind of love. You think you don’t love our mother anymore? Think again. You think our dad hates mom now and forever? Think again. You think you’re doing yourself any good by following your stupid theories, girl think again! As for you, the love you and Damien had is just going to have to evolve into a different kind—I know that’s not gone anywhere either. Don’t worry—you don’t have to lie to me about that but I think with time, it will. Look, Kent loves you Kim. And I know you love him. So stop thinking you should decide what’s best for the two of you! You’ve become…Damien or something!”
Kimberly couldn’t help but laugh.
“What?” she said, amused and confused.
“Come on Kim, you know how Damien was always like…” Monique deepened her voice and retarded her speech: “I think we should do this, it’s best if we do that…hey follow me Kim, the best thing for you is that...”
They giggled at her impression.
“You know what I mean Kimberly, always treating you like…I don’t know, a kid or something. Making decisions for you—leading you instead of walking beside you, you know?”
Kimberly smiled to herself, impressed by her sister.
“So what do you plan to do to convince him you guys can still work? When are you going to tell Kent?”
“Well now that’s the thing—I don’t know if I should...”
“Kimberly, don’t you dare...”
“Monique, look. Hear me out: I was thinking I should wait and see what Kent wants to do about us. I mean if I tell him about the baby now, he’ll feel obligated to stay with me, and I don’t want his obligation—I want him to take me back, all on his own.”
“Well that actually makes some kind of sense. But take you back? What makes you think he let you go?” Monique sighed. “Kimberly, don’t do anything stupid. Tell the man. He deserves to know. Hell if you don’t, I will.”
“Monique don’t you dare! Okay fine. I’ll tell him. Just give me some time okay?”
“Okay, Kim.”
As the call disconnected, Kimberly thought: Monique’s wrong—I shouldn’t tell Kent, not now anyway.
Then she saw Michael Kent Davenport coming towards her.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Kent hoped it wasn’t too obvious he’d been blubbering like a baby. He had held himself together for a while but when he found himself falling apart, he called Monique, wanting someone to be able to be there for Kimberly, knowing he wouldn’t have been much help. Truth was, he’d been terrified that something had gone horribly wrong and he would lose her completely.
He’d had his hands over his head, negotiating with whatever God was out there to make sure she was all right when he suddenly felt a hand touch his arm.
He looked up and saw Vivian attempt a smile, probably meant in support. He appreciated her effort and for a moment remembered she was the mother—her child and grandchild had both possibly been in danger.
Her smile eventually contorted from half pain to full-on pain and they both turned to hug each other.
The hug knocked away the remainder of his resolve as he cried softly on her shoulder and he got the sense Vivian was crying too.
Eventually Kent collected himself and pulled away, wiping his face.
“Ms. Jordan, you have to excuse me for being such a punk,” he attempted to joke. “I never cry, you don’t understand. Never.”
Vivian shook her head slowly.
“Kent, I didn’t realize how much you loved my daughter. You know, you really are the best thing that’s happened to her in a long, long time. I’m so glad you’re in her life.”
He exhaled, looking down.
“Me too Ms. Jordan.”
Then she had left.
He watched her leave, thinking about how much he wished she and his mom were on better terms, but as he understood it from Kimberly, their friendship was ruined by his mom pursuing his dad way back in the day when he’d just gotten out of a relationship with Ms. Jordan. Despite their families being brought together again through their kids, and despite his parents divorcing and his dad and Ms. Jordan finally getting back together, the women remained cold to each other. Someday perhaps; after all, they were at least talking to each other now.
Kent sat there by himself for a few more moments. He had to get his head together before seeing Kimberly—he didn’t want her to see him in such a state.
***
“I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner—I was in the men’s room,” he said to Kimberly, coming up to her and wrapping her in a huge bear hug, holding her tight.
Kimberly realized just how much she’d missed those arms.
To her delight, he continued holding her, and she savored the moment until Kent finally pulled back, holding her shoulders.
“Are you all right?”
His concerned eyes looked searchingly into her face.
She noticed his eyes looked red and answered her own question about why he’d supposedly been in the men’s room for such a long time.
She nodded her head.
“Yeah, I’m okay—both me and the baby, we’re fine.”
“Good.”
He pulled back completely, putting his hands in his pocket, looking unsure what to say or do next.
“So what did the doctor say?”
Here’s your chance Kimberly! her thoughts screamed. But she replied:
“Just that I need to take it easy or I could lose the baby.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
She looked down.
“So when are you due?” Kent asked.
Kimberly tried to stall, acting like she couldn’t remember.
“Oh, um...when did she say...?”
“What are you going to do, I meant. Sorry.”
He looked like he was lying.
“About what Kent?”
“Oh I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about. Damn it Kimberly! Oh god I’m sorry.” He let out a frustrated grunt. “Frankly, I don’t know what to say or do right now—I don’t want to be the one to make you almost lose the baby again—I don’t want to cause you any stress!”
It was then that Kimberly realized that she had still managed to pull off what she was trying to avoid—guil
ting him into treating her precariously and unnaturally.
“Kent hey—don’t worry about it okay? I mean, it’s not like we’re living together or anything anymore. We’re taking a break from each other right now, right?”
“But how’s that gonna affect you?”
“You know what? I’m fine, don’t worry! I think it would cause me more stress being with you right now than not.”
Kent looked a bit confused.
“Okay Kimberly, whatever you want. But if you need me—for anything—please don’t hesitate to call.”
Kimberly smiled.
“Thank you Kent. You know, you were always such a good friend to me. I mean, besides Monique, you’re…you’re my best friend. I hope we can find a way to remain at least friends.”
She smiled up at him.
He looked suspicious of it, and didn’t return it.
Then a bitter type of chuckle left him.
“Friends huh? Well okay. Let me take you home.”
***
As they pulled up to the Jordan home, Kent decided to speak, breaking the silence of their drive.
“Kimberly I…” He paused, wanting to say the words, but finding them ill-timed, decided against it. “I’ll see you around,” he said instead of reminding her of his love.
Then she started doing one of the worst things he could imagine.
“I guess I should give you this back,” she said, rubbing then tugging at the engagement ring he’d given her a month ago, sliding it off and handing it to him.
Kent numbly took it and held it in his palm, staring at it for a few moments, tears stinging his eyes.
Then he turned away from her, not wanting her to see him break again.
He could hardly speak past the cry-ball in his throat but he managed to whisper:
“Bye Kimberly.”
He heard her exit the car, and when the door slammed, he drove off quickly.
***
Why was she staying away from him?
Over the next couple of days, Kent found himself growing angrier and angrier at Kimberly. Who was she anyway? Who was this woman pretending to be the sweet, perfect Kimberly Jordan he had fallen in love with? How dare she take advantage of his love like that? Could he trust her tears? Her declarations of love? Those looks of regret?