SinSatiable

by Shelia E. Bell

  She excused herself and went into the bathroom and took a hit of her feel good medicine before she returned to the living room of Chandler’s simple apartment. Only this time, the vial contained something other than valium. When she first took a hit of the substance inside her little vial a couple of weeks prior, she didn’t suspect that it could be something other than valium. But the numbness she felt when she placed it on her tongue and the exhilarating feeling was quite different from that of valium. Elisa saw Aisha’s positive reaction when she snorted the unknown substance. She freely admitted to Aisha that she had given her something a little stronger and better because Aisha had been using more and more of the valium trying to feel the same effects she had when she first tried it. Aisha was angry at first when she found out Elisa had put cocaine in her vial while she was dancing one evening. Soon her anger left when the drug made her feel better than she had ever felt before.

  “How do you like my place? I know it’s not as nicely decorated as yours, but it’s home.”

  “I like it, Chandler. It’s soothing and comfortable. I love your art.” Aisha walked around admiring his apartment. “And your antique pieces are lovely.”

  “They belonged to my great, great paternal grandmother.”

  “I see. Well, they’re beautiful pieces.”

  Chandler strolled over to the entertainment center and put on KEM’s latest CD before he went to the bar and poured each of them a glass of white wine.

  “Here, pretty lady.” He sat down close beside her on the plush high back sofa. They sipped on the wine and Aisha relaxed back in his colossal arms. They snuggled for several minutes. Chandler inhaled the fruity scent of her hair and then kissed her on the forehead before turning her face to meet his. He kissed her intensely and a flame of passion was ignited between them.

  A moan escaped her lips and she pulled back in surprise from his embrace. “Don’t you think we’re moving too fast?”

  “No, I think we’re moving according to how we feel about each other,” he whispered while planting butterfly kisses along the side of her neck. He pulled her back in closer to him, tilting her head toward his. His tongue sought desperately to find hers.

  “But, Chandler,” she spoke between his kisses. “I don’t think we should.” She couldn’t hold back any longer. His kisses were too demanding and the touch of his hands moving expertly over the contours of her body set a fire ablaze inside of her. She had to make him stop before there was no turning back. Her mind suddenly thought about the very advice she’d given Tameria. Don’t put yourself in a situation where you’re along with Chase. If you do, you’re setting yourself up for things to get way out of hand. Now, who was she to talk? She was in Chandler’s luxurious bachelor pad, with KEM crooning in the background and a fine man doing things to her she’d often dreamed of.

  “Chandler, wait,” she pleaded softly. “There’s something I have to tell you.”

  He leaned back and looked longingly into her hazel eyes. “What is it, baby? Talk to me.” Before she could respond, he kissed her again lightly on her lips. His rough but gentle hands moved slowly up and down the length of her thighs.

  Why did I have to wear a skirt of all nights? I should have put on my fuchsia pantsuit like I originally planned.

  “I’m listening, tell me what’s wrong, Aisha. Tell me, baby.” The warmth penetrating through her body made it difficult for her to speak.

  “I’ve. I’ve never been. Oooh, Chandler. Please, don’t.”

  “You’ve never been what?” He stopped caressing her and waited to hear what she had to say. He didn’t want to run her off. He liked her too much, way too much.

  “I’ve never, you know, been with a man.”

  “Did you say never?” He couldn’t believe what he just heard. A twenty five year old virgin. No way. Not in this day and age.

  “Never.”

  “I see.” He didn’t know what to say. He was stunned. Here he was sitting next to the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen, a woman who brought out feelings in him that he thought he’d never experience again and she’s telling him that she’s a virgin. “Aisha, this is, man this is something I’m not used to hearing every day. You know?”

  “Yeah, I know. But it’s true. So you see, that’s why we can’t let this get out of control. I can’t put myself in this position. I think it’s time that you took me home.”

  “Look, I don’t want to take you home. I like you Aisha. I really, really like you. And I can tell that you like me too. Don’t you?” He waited to hear what he knew was in her heart.

  “Yes, I do, but.”

  “No buts. Let’s just take things one day at a time. I promise I won’t pressure you to do anything you don’t want to do.” He had no idea how he was going to keep his hands off of her. But he was a man of his word and he wanted to earn her trust and respect. He stood up, walked over to the stereo and turned it off. Then he grabbed the remote and turned on the big screen.

  With her eyes, she quietly followed his every move. Ooh, I want him so bad. Lord, help me. I can’t give in to this temptation. I can’t. Chandler sat back down on the sofa, pulled her in his arms, allowing her to snuggle against him. He flipped the remote until they decided to watch Crash on the Showtime Channel. Engrossed in the movie, Aisha was relaxed and no longer felt like she was losing control of her emotions.

  The ringing of her cell phone disrupted their moment. She looked at the caller ID. It was Elisa. “Sorry, but I have to take this call.” He nodded his head up and down and gingerly removed his arm from underneath her head. She answered the call while simultaneously standing up and going out to stand on the apartment balcony. “Hey. What’s going on?”

  “What are you doing?”

  “I’m with my friend.”

  “Oh, sorry. But look, how would you like to make a couple of grand later on tonight?” Aisha leaned her slender dance body against the cold concrete wall. She spoke low so Chandler wouldn’t hear her.

  “A couple of grand? How can I say no to that? But tell me first. What’s the catch? What do I have to do?”

  “What you do best.” Elisa laughed over the phone. “Dance, of course. Except this time it’s for one of the clients who I told you is looking for a private dancer. There’s nothing but good things being said about you around The Lynx, and you know it. So, here’s your big chance. You wanna go for it?”

  “I’ll be there in less than an hour.” Aisha walked back into the warmth of the living room, looking flustered with cheeks as red as an apple.

  “Everything all right?” Chandler asked, his wrinkled brow revealed his concern.

  “Sure, it’s just that I have to leave. A friend of mine is in trouble.”

  “I’ll come with you,” he offered.

  “No, please. That won’t be necessary. I need to handle this by myself. Plus, I don’t think she’d appreciate me bringing a stranger along with me. It’s a sensitive situation.”

  “I see.”

  “I’m really sorry, Chandler. But I can’t let this person down. She’s done too much for me.” She grabbed her lavender cashmere jacket from the teak wood coat rack. Without giving him a chance to show his obvious disappointment, she gave him a peck on the cheek, grabbed her purse and rushed out the door. “I’ll call you tomorrow. Bye now.”

  Hurrying to get to The Lynx, Aisha put the pedal to the medal on E-way 240. She fussed at herself for almost blowing her cover with Chandler. There was no way he believed that she was going to some friend’s rescue at ten thirty at night. But she was thankful that Elisa had called. It got her out of a situation that could have turned into something she didn’t want with Chandler. Well, she did want to be intimate with him, but she knew that no matter how much she shook her tail at The Lynx, she wasn’t about to show it to Chandler. That was still taboo on her list of no no’s.

  Pulling up to The Lynx, her tires squealed as she put on brakes and parked her car. She hurried inside, said hello to the bellman and headed for her dre
ssing room. Her client, she was told, was a cowboy at heart. So Aisha wore her blue tight fitting rubber cowgirl mini with blue stilettos. She pulled her twists up in a poof up on her head, along with a pair of blue oversized earrings, surveyed herself in the mirror and smiled. Before leaving to meet him, she said hello to baby girl and proceeded to walk to the private suite elevator.

  The morning after her private dance session, Aisha made a phone call. An hour later Thaddeus arrived at the studio.

  “Come on in, Thaddeus.” Aisha welcomed him into her studio office. Her private dance session the night before provided her with the rest of the money she needed to make the payment on the building. “Could I offer you a cup of coffee, tea or soda?”

  “No, I’m fine. Thanks. I’d really like to get down to business. I have another appointment that I must get to and it’s all the way on the other side of town.” Thaddeus hoped that Aisha hadn’t called him over to beg for more time. The owner of the building wanted out and he made it clear to Thaddeus that he wouldn’t take any more extensions. Thaddeus had heard that the owner was already in debt up to the ying yang and worst of all that he faced big trouble with the IRS. It was necessary for him to liquidate some of his assets as quickly as he could to pay them off or they would take everything he’d worked hard for.

  Aisha sat on the edge of her oblong walnut desk and reached over to the side drawer. Unlocking it, she reached inside and pulled out a green envelope and passed it over to Thaddeus.

  “What do you have for me here?” He eyed the envelope with curiosity, turning it over in his hands before opening it. His eyes grew large as saucers when he spied the cashier’s check for the exact amount of the building. “You do mean business don’t you?”

  “Yes, I most certainly do.”

  “I’m impressed. You definitely go after what you want don’t you?”

  “Yes, and you make sure the owner of this building knows that.”

  “Did you say the owner of this building?”

  “Yes, I sure did.”

  “Well let’s take care of that by finalizing this deal and filling out these other papers. And the owner of this building will be YOU.”

  She breathed a huge sigh of relief. Though she hated the fact that she had to become an exotic dancer to get the money, she was glad to be blessed with the talent to make the kind of money she’d always dreamed of making by doing what she always loved.

  CHAPTER 20

  “Every time I come to church, I get a free workout.” Tameria burst into laughter. “This church is way too huge. I see why people are starting to call it a mega church.”

  “That just lets us know that we’re reaching people, Tameria,” was Aisha’s reply. “If a church isn’t growing, then something’s drastically wrong. That’s the purpose of the pastor and the different ministries. To reach the lost.”

  “Yea, I know that. But I still miss that small, cozy family type atmosphere that you find in small churches.”

  “Me too, but we can’t have it all. Is Chase coming tonight? He’s tagged along with you the last few times you came to church.”

  “He’s on call tonight. And I have to report to the hospital at midnight myself. How’s everything coming along with raising the money for the down payment?”

  Aisha couldn’t tell Tameria the truth. She would have too many questions and there was no way she would be able to explain why she was dancing at The Lynx. So she remained quiet and told her that things were coming along fine and that she had secured a few investors that pledged to help her. Sitting in church on the padded pews, she felt a bit of guilt at the lie and the undercover life she was leading. But God would forgive her. That she believed for sure so she opened her bible and listened to Pastor Shipley.

  “God desires for His children to have a personal relationship with Him. He wants us to be holy and pure. We all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. That much is true. But we don’t have a right to freely sin and go against God’s commandments,” he taught. “People, God has a plan for our lives. Let’s begin to listen to His voice. Take heed to His message and live a life of holiness dedicated to loving and living for Him.”

  Aisha squirmed in her chair as she listened to Pastor Shipley’s every word. She felt uneasy about her secret life but she had no choice. She had to do what she had to do in order to keep the studio. Anyway, she had convinced herself that God had opened the door for her to receive her blessing. And so what if it was at the Lynx. It was no strip joint. It was a private upscale club, just another job. And as for the cocaine, she only did it every now and then. She needed a boost of energy after leaving her studio every evening. She wasn’t hooked on it or anything. Because when she searched for information about cocaine on the internet she found out it was not addictive anyway. She just liked the way it made her feel. Aisha refocused on Pastor Shipley’s closing remarks.

  “Remember, if sin didn’t feel good, look good, and taste good, there would be nothing for you to worry about. You see sin is a great disguiser. Merriam Webster’s defines it as an offense against God, a weakened state of human nature in which the self is estranged from God. Then there’s the word insatiable. Insatiable is when you have a craving for something but you can never get satisfied or full of it. No matter what you do, you can never get enough of it. Sin is like that. It feels so good and looks so good sometimes that you find yourself craving it more and more. You want more money. More sex. More cars. More houses. More men. More women. More things of this world. All the time, you’re being deceived, trapped by the devil. I call it, Sinsatiable. But there’s something false about these Sinsatiable desires and feelings. They’re fleeting, and only for a moment does it feel good. So be wise my brothas and sistas. Resist the schemes of the devil as if your very life depended on it. Because it does.”

  After speaking to several of the church members after bible study, Aisha said goodbye to Tameria, rushed out of the sanctuary, and dashed to her car. She was infuriated when the screeching set of tires against the wet blacktop pulled in front of her. The oncoming car barely missed her steel gray Acura as she pulled out of the church parking lot. Thoughts of Pastor Shipley’s remarks were easily replaced with a string of expletives flowing from her mouth. She sped off down the winding street until she reached I-240. Glancing at the console, the digital clock read 8:45. She had less than an hour to get to The Lynx, shower and change. She had a client who thrived on promptness so being late wasn’t an option. She reached over in her purse, fumbled for the rectangular pill box instead of her brown vial. When she found it, she popped open its latch and pulled out a tiny round blue pill with a cut out V design. “Ahhh, nothing like a little valium to relax one’s nerves,” she said and sped off.

  Aisha made it to the Lynx in seventeen minutes flat. She rushed inside and ran past the armed doorman. “Good evening, Miss C.”

  “Hello, Thomas,” she responded in an exasperated voice. She walked briskly to the elevator, pressed the button and without waiting on it, raced to the stairwell and walked up to the second floor. The first person she ran into was Elisa. She looked radiant as usual. Every time Aisha saw her, Elisa was perfectly dressed from head to toe. Tonight she had on a revealing black flared mini. The front of the dress had a plunging V like neck line that stopped at her belly button. The sleeveless dress sparkled from tiny sequins. The black king toed stilettos she wore and sheer black hose added an extra dose of sex appeal to Elisa’s already perfect body. Elisa greeted her friend as she walked into the lounge.

  “Slow down, girl. You aren’t late you know.”

  “I know but if I don’t hurry up and get changed I will be.”

  “Who’s the lucky man tonight?” the well dressed man asked as he walked up to her and Elisa.”

  “Jason, you know we can’t divulge who our private clients are,” Elisa responded before Aisha could answer herself.

  Of course Jason knew all of the members already. He was fully aware that the name of their high paying, exclusive client
ele list was never to be mentioned unless it was behind closed doors. He continued to tease the two of them, especially flirting with Aisha. He found her exceptionally beautiful and her innocent persona made him desire her that much more. She’d danced privately for him once and as bad as he wanted her to be his private dancer, he wasn’t allowed that privilege on a permanent basis. None of the board of directors were entitled to have their own private dancer but they could have a private dancer of their choice once every three months. Other than that, their pleasure was derived from the bevy of young beauties that gyrated sensuously in the open area of the gentleman’s lounge.

  “Aisha, whoever the lucky man is, I sure envy him.”

  “Jason, you have a wife and four kids at home. Don’t you think you need to lay low? I think you’re getting more than enough action already,” Aisha teased. Elisa laughed and Jason turned beet red before walking off.

  “Girl, why you dog that man like that? You know he just wants to get a little something on the side.”

  “Please. Jason needs to be at home spending time with his family instead of leading a double life. From what I’ve heard, he has a gorgeous wife. I don’t understand men like him.”

  “You still have a lot to learn. Take a look around. Most of these men have families at home, gorgeous wives, mistresses and lots of money. Some of them are even preachers, elders and deacons at church so wake up and smell the roses my friend. This is life and no matter how you think it ought to be, it is what it is.”

  “I know, but I’m just saying. I don’t understand that’s all.”

  “Look, we’ll talk later. You better go and get ready. You don’t want to disappoint your new client.”