Atomic Beauty

by Barb Han

  The memory of Jace standing in the hallway, wounded, burned Erika’s retinas. By the time the elevator doors opened again, there’d be no erasing the image. When she lay awake nights at her family’s cabin in the lower forty-eight, it’d be him she’d think about, miss, want, need. Not have. Not ever have again.

  Her lungs seized at the reality of leaving Jace behind forever and even the crisp afternoon air couldn’t bring reprieve fast enough. Tears burned the backs of her eyes.

  Every step leading her away from him was like walking through quicksand. She clutched at her throat as precious oxygen flooded her chest and instantly realized something was wrong. Something was missing.

  Frantic, Erika felt around for her necklace. The last gift she’d received from her mother was gone.

  The weight of that thought sat heavy on her chest. The air thinned and the city closed in around her. There were too many freakin’ people flooding the streets. With her recent memories patchy, she couldn’t be sure if she’d left the keepsake at home or lost it. Nope. She couldn’t have forgotten it. She never took it off, not even to shower.

  Maybe it had come loose when she was in the clutches of one of her episodes? The clasp could’ve broken. When was the last time she remembered having it on? Jace’s place?

  Walking fifteen blocks should’ve cleared her head. Instead, she’d had to stop twice to vomit. Sick and alone, she was almost home when the answer came to her. She’d been wearing the locket that morning at Jace’s when they’d had sex. He’d asked about it.

  Desperation overwhelmed her as she unlocked the door to her apartment and stepped inside. Was there a way to sneak inside his place and take it back? She knew the answer even before she’d finished the thought. No.

  First she’d lost Jace, and now her necklace. The only two things that mattered to her were gone in a flash. And wasn’t life like that? The most ridiculous fucking curveballs always came at the worst possible time.

  After a quick check of her apartment just to be sure she remembered correctly, Erika was certain her necklace had to be at Jace’s. He knew where she lived, and just in case he showed up trying to convince her to stay—or put a bullet between her eyes—she needed to be gone.

  Time to hit the lower forty-eight.

  And then what?

  Phone in her failure and arrange for a pickup? Erika thought about it. Her boss had given her an order, which she’d failed to carry out. It wasn’t like she could go back to Jace’s and finish the job, either. If she’d blown her cover, and most likely she had, he’d be long gone by now. At the very least he’d be watching for her, ready. Without the element of surprise on her side, he’d be a tough target to take down even if her body cooperated this time and managed to pull the trigger, which she doubted.

  No easy answers there. Even the remote thought of seeing him again sent a trill of excitement skittering across her nerves.

  Worse yet was the sickening feeling she’d let Murdock down. He hadn’t once failed her or her father.

  Murdock had ensured her father had been laid to rest a hero, attending to every last detail. Murdock had been a pallbearer. And, Murdock had presented the American flag to her father’s only remaining family—Erika.

  Now that she had information from Jace’s hard drive, she would find out what he’d gotten himself into. Her mentor deserved no less from her.

  Her cell buzzed. She checked the screen. Jace.

  Her heart pounded against her rib cage. Logic said he’d figured her out. There was a reason he was the best and it wasn’t because he was stupid, or careless. What kind of game was he playing?

  Even though Erika didn’t doubt her skills, she had no idea what she’d said or done during one of her blackouts. It was highly possible Jace’s brokenhearted facade was just that, an act. He might be calling to arrange to meet with her so he could eliminate her. Everything he’d said and done in that hallway could’ve been calculated actions meant to test her. Yes, that had to be it. It was the only explanation that made any sense. The notion he could have real feelings for her was her brain playing tricks on her. How could he? Relationships were based on honesty. Everything she’d told him so far had been a lie, except the part about wanting to be with him.

  The phone buzzed again. No doubt Jace was getting impatient. She palmed it, considered chucking it against the wall for a second, but pressed it to her chest instead.

  Gathering her few belongings didn’t take long. She traveled light. There were a few clothing items she couldn’t live without, plus a stash of cash and passports she kept in a loose floorboard underneath the fridge.

  After wiping the place down for prints, she closed then locked the door behind her.

  If Jace were trying to keep up the concerned-boyfriend act, then he was most likely back at his place. She could set up camp across the street to watch him, or do what she did best…disappear and figure out what was on that drive.

  Her work phone buzzed, the satellite cell she always carried with her. Murdock. He’d want confirmation of Jace’s death.

  She needed to wrap her mind around exactly what had happened to her before she reported in.

  Erika took a deep breath, and for the first time in her life, was uncertain what to do next.

  Her boss would understand if she had to be out of pocket, so she ignored the call and phoned Charlie, her pilot friend.

  Another text came through on her personal cell, the one Jace knew about. It had to be him. He was the only one who knew the number despite having multiple fake contacts on her list just in case he got curious.

  She ignored it, pulling a cigarette from her purse instead as she stepped out of her building. Deciding her next step was difficult enough without his voice in her ear. She already had to force every step of forward progress—progress that meant moving farther away from Jace.

  An overwhelming part of her wanted to do just the opposite, to stick around.

  If only there was some way she knew she could trust him. Maybe she could get her necklace back. Erika almost laughed out loud. The two of them lived in worlds where appearance was all smoke and mirrors. It was his job to slip in and out of roles, as it was hers, and he was a master.

  The migraines were clouding her judgment, as were her feelings for Jace.

  There’d never been a time when Erika had hesitated. Yet another reason she shouldn’t make a rash judgment. She knew full well that getting her necklace back wasn’t the only reason she wanted to see Jace again.

  Scanning the area, she realized it must be noon. The crush of the lunchtime crowd filled the streets. Her hand shook as she tried to light her cigarette, an aftereffect from the migraine, causing her to lose her grip on the lighter, sending it tumbling onto the sidewalk. She bent over to pick it up before someone stepped on it or accidently kicked it.

  Rising, she caught a glimpse of a man out of her peripheral vision. She recognized the assassin from the job she’d done in Berlin.

  In fact, Berlin seemed to be the guy’s territory, but that would make him Agency. What the hell was he doing here?

  His gaze fixed on her apartment as he crossed the street. His clothes, black slacks and a black button-down shirt, helped him blend in with the workday crowd. He’d stood out to Erika the second he’d crossed her vision for his purposeful stride and the fact his head was tilted up when everyone else’s was angled toward the pavement.

  But who’d sent him? Her first thought was Jace, but that didn’t make any sense. If Jace had wanted to kill her, he’d had half a dozen opportunities in the past twenty-four hours alone. Why keep her alive just to send a hit man? Unless…

  Maybe he wasn’t sure about her before? Maybe he no longer needed her after his mystery meeting? Maybe he knew exactly who she was and needed to send someone else to clean up his mess?

  Or, was she making this too complicated?

  What if the guy worked for someone else? What if Jace was hiding because he’d found something that could get him killed? What if he was s
till the good guy?

  It was possible, right? That whatever was on that hard drive could get them both killed. There was another possibility she had to consider. If the information threatened national security, then Murdock wouldn’t be the only one looking for it. Maybe by turning it over to Sanctuary Jace would be writing his own death warrant and that was why he’d fled.

  She thought about her phone. Had he been trying to warn her?

  There were risks with this job. The fact had been punctuated by her father’s death. Erika had signed on to the agency with her eyes wide open, just as every other sworn officer. But what if the information Jace found had kicked off a chain of events that led to nothing good? She’d had to consider that on assignments before. What to share and what to suppress was always the question.

  She needed a couple of days to get her head straight and sort through her options. Until then, she didn’t plan to contact anyone. Besides, her brain was already throbbing.

  The satellite phone rang again. She ignored it.

  There were more pressing problems. Berlin had just spotted her.

  She needed to deal with him and get the hell out of the country, because all she could think about was Jace’s expression as those damn elevator doors closed.

  Chapter Seven

  Erika crouched down, keeping her profile low enough to blend into the crowd as Berlin altered his course, heading toward her. Fighting out in the open wasn’t an option. There were too many risks to those around them and she couldn’t put others in jeopardy or make the five o’clock news. Not to mention the fact someone could snap a picture for social media, which would be a whole other kind of disaster.

  If she thought confronting him would be productive, she’d do it. What would it accomplish? With their training he wouldn’t give up information. She’d have to kill him or he wouldn’t hesitate to do the same. If she could get to Queen Elizabeth Park, she might be able to slip aboard a boat and disappear. Problem solved. At least until she could investigate who’d put the bounty on her head and why. Berlin was one of her own, which pointed to the agency sending him. And that was just impossible.

  Jogging, weaving in and out of foot traffic, she took a sharp right.

  She risked a glance back. Damn. He was fifty feet behind her. If she pushed harder, she might make it to the water in time. There were enough people and trees in the way to ensure he couldn’t get a good line on her.

  Erika dug deeper, forcing herself into a dead run through burning thighs. There’d be fewer people at the park this time of day even with the picnicking lunch crowd. As soon as he got a clean shot, he’d take it.

  She managed to put a little distance between them. Another backward glance said he was a good seventy feet. This was where things would get tricky. Weaving, which would prevent him from getting a straight shot, would slow her progress. With the sails in sight, she was getting closer to the water. But was she close enough to reach it before he caught up to her?

  A bullet zinged past her left ear in answer.

  That meant Berlin had to be holding his gun in his left hand. Otherwise the bullet would’ve come from the right since he was directly behind her. If she had to fight, she needed to disable his strong side first. Berlin was left-handed. She tucked away the information and pressed on.

  Zigzagging, Erika’s pulse raced as she pushed harder. At least the latest kick of adrenaline staved off her headache for now. When it wore off, she’d need a quiet black room and ice packs but for now she could think clearly.

  Breaking the tree line, she made a final push toward the water. Berlin couldn’t be far behind. She could hear his measured breathing.

  There was no time to find a boat, no time to do anything except jump.

  She dove into the water as another bullet zinged past.

  The shock of total immersion in freezing-cold water engulfed her. Her lungs clawed for air in the forty-eight degree temperatures. A less fit person would go into cardiac arrest. Even with her conditioning, she had only a few minutes before her muscles would begin shutting down and she’d sink. Drown. Even less given how much energy she’d expend trying to stay afloat.

  Once she managed dry land again, she’d have to consider hypothermia.

  Before she could break the surface, Berlin came crashing down next to her. He reached for her arm to keep from sinking lower and managed a handful of her shirt.

  Erika thrust her foot forward as she was dragged down with him. The toe of her boot connected with his stomach with enough force to break his hold. As he shot downward, she pushed off his shoulder.

  Just before breaking surface, he caught her heel and dragged her down again. She had maybe thirty seconds of oxygen left before she would pass out and drown. He didn’t need to shoot her. All he needed to do was keep her from breathing for a few more seconds.

  She’d have to swim now to reach life-giving air.

  Erika grabbed two handfuls of Berlin’s pitch-black hair and thrust her knee into his face. She connected, forcing air bubbles out of his mouth. Now he needed air, too.

  Punching, kicking, she had no plans to give up without a fight.

  Another ten seconds and the job of killing her would be done for him.

  With one last burst of energy, Erika struggled to break his grasp. Even if she freed herself, there was no guarantee she’d make it to the surface in time.

  Dizzy, light-headed, she grabbed a handful of his balls, squeezing with relentless force.

  More bubbles exploded from his mouth and his grip on her eased. She punched his left arm—his strong side—and then pushed off him, praying she’d break the surface in time. There wasn’t a second to lose.

  Erika pushed through in scarcely enough time to catch a breath. She immediately folded over, swimming like a banshee toward shore. Her arms already moved slower.

  They’d drifted out a good twenty yards and she expected Berlin to jerk her backward at any moment.

  He didn’t.

  She didn’t turn to see why not.

  In fact, as soon as she pulled herself out of the water she stumbled, her movements hampered by the heavy weight of her thoroughly soaked clothes. Her boots sloshed. A chilly wind wrapped around her. Shivers racked her body.

  She needed dry clothes and warmth soon.

  If Berlin were alive, he’d have an easy shot before she broke through the tree line. Half expecting to feel a bullet rip through her, she managed to make it to the street where she hailed a cab.

  A few passed by before one seemed to take pity on her and stop.

  “Hey, you forgot to wear your swimsuit today,” an older man quipped with a smile as he hopped out to open the door for her. She never knew what kind of driver she’d get in Vancouver, crabby or outgoing. Given her condition, she was relieved this one seemed to have a sense of humor. It would make the ride easier if she made a few jokes and he laughed instead of him asking questions.

  “Yeah. I was fishing when I got too close and fell in,” she played it off.

  He moved around to the trunk, returning with a thick cotton blanket. “That should keep you from catching pneumonia.”

  She thanked him as he returned to his seat.

  “What were you fishing for?”

  “A man,” she said, breaking a smile and trying to stop her teeth from chattering.

  He laughed, adjusted the rearview and eyed her again as he shifted into drive. “Where to?”

  Erika positioned the blanket over her as cover, and then slipped out of her wet clothes. She pulled dry clothes from her pack and dressed. “Million Air field. You know where that airstrip is?”

  He eyed her through the rearview as though assessing her mental state. It was obvious she had no poles or fishing gear and she didn’t look like someone who could afford a private jet.

  “Sure thing. You some kind of movie star or something? I don’t get out to the movies much, so I wouldn’t know.”

  “No. But if you get me there quick I’ll tip you like I am.”

/>   He nodded, smiled and floored the gas pedal. “Deal.”

  Erika’s head shot back as she wrapped the blanket around her. Warm, dry clothes were the equivalent of the blaze of a nearby campfire.

  The cab driver held up a coffee cup. “Just bought this. Looks like you need it more than I do.”

  She thanked him graciously as she took the offering. Hypothermia was only one of her problems. Why would one of her own come after her?

  The logical answer to why another officer would come after her was one she couldn’t fathom. No way would Murdock mark her as a traitor and send someone to eliminate her. He knew her better than that. He was like a father to her, for fuck’s sake. His devotion to Sanctuary was unmatched. He was one of the good guys. Period. Besides, he’d covered for her more than once. And yet, he’d sent her after Jace.

  Totally different circumstances, she told herself.

  Even so, she’d lay low for a few days while she figured out what was going on and who was involved. She knew just the place.

  Erika tried not to think about the fact that she, like Jace, preferred hiding in plain sight over remote locations. Give her a spot near an airport, train station and bus lines any day over trees and open acreage. She’d been trained to survive under every condition and had no doubt she could. Still, if she had her pick she’d choose urban every time. Besides, she felt more like herself in a place where her black hair and blue streak fit in, even though both would have to go.

  On the ride to the private airstrip, she verified Charlie would be arriving soon.

  He confirmed.

  If she were Jace, she’d go to Seattle, which was precisely the reason she’d decided on the desert.

  Leaning deeper into the seat, she closed her eyes for the rest of the twenty-minute drive as she tried to get her body to stop shaking from cold.

  The brakes groaned. The cab came to a stop. The airstrip was in front of her.

  Charlie, a sight for sore eyes, waited on the tarmac.

  Erika handed the driver a stack of twenties, tossed her backpack over her shoulder, thankful she hadn’t lost it in the water, and climbed out of the backseat.