“Shhh.” He cupped her face and pressed a light kiss to her lips. “Rest, darlin’.”
Maggie thought to argue, but exhaustion rolled over her. Spencer’s fingers drifted across her cheek, and vaguely, she heard him walk away.
* * * *
Maggie hummed and stretched her arms over her head as she slowly woke. Then sat up with a start. Son a bitch, she’d fallen asleep on the couch. After she and Spencer…
Oh God. She glanced at her watch and flung the afghan aside in a panic. Kate would be here any minute and she was sprawled on the couch. Rising, she stared in horror at the pair of panties on the floor beside the couch. Not only sprawled on the couch, but sprawled bare ass. How humiliating. She scooped up the scant garment and hurried upstairs to her room. Quickly, she rummaged through her drawers to find clothes for the day.
Opting for jeans and a long sleeved tee since she didn’t have to work and wanted comfort for the drive to get her mother, she went into the bathroom, praying she had enough time for a quick shower before her friend showed up.
Once under the hot spray, she rested her forehead against the tiles a moment as she relived the night before. She barely knew the guy and had been ready to jump his bones. That was not like her. God, if she could only blame her recklessness on the wine. Truth was she’d sobered up pretty quickly and hadn’t been that tipsy to begin with. A groan escaped, and she pressed her thighs together as she remembered Spencer’s mouth on her. At least they hadn’t gone all the way. And that was not disappointment sitting sourly in her tummy, she insisted.
But…why hadn’t they? She frowned and began to shampoo her hair. It wasn’t like she would have stopped it, and he’d seemed on board.
“Oh, but you’re not disappointed,” she muttered. “Lying hussy.”
A knock echoed through the small, steamy room.
“Mags?”
Kate. Maggie popped her head around the shower curtain to see her friend sticking her own head in the doorway.
“Just finishing up. Be out in a minute.”
Kate pursed her lips then smiled. “I’ll make coffee.”
“Bless you,” she said before ducking back under to rinse her hair and finish washing.
Fifteen minutes later, insulated mug in hand, Maggie followed Kate out to the car. She lifted a brow when Kate slid into the driver’s seat. Usually she drove, and it was her car.
After she was seated and closed the door, Kate threw a knowing smile Maggie’s way. “Figured you could use the drive to relax after your rough night last night.”
“What?” Maggie gaped at her. There was no way Kate could know—
“After all the wine.” Kate laughed as she pulled out of the drive. “You had to be feeling it this morning if you were running behind, Ms. Punctual. How’s your head?”
“Oh yeah. I’m fine.” She held up her coffee. “And this will help tons.”
Guilt filled Maggie. Any other time, she’d be sharing everything with Kate, but she didn’t want her friend getting the wrong idea. What had happened with Spencer had been a mistake. One that had felt amazing, but a mistake just the same. And it couldn’t happen again. Wouldn’t happen again. If anything, this just proved that she was ready to settle down, to find someone who would suit her. And Spencer Reed definitely didn’t suit. Her stomach clenched as she thought of how he’d pressed against her, kissed her… Okay, maybe he suited physically but that wasn’t what she was going to base her future on.
“I’m going to give online dating a shot,” she blurted out, then feeling her cheeks flush, took a quick gulp of her coffee. And nearly choked on the hot liquid.
“Really?” Kate shot her a look before focusing back on the road. “Well… I…”
Maggie chuckled at Kate’s stammering. “What?”
“I just never expected you to go that route.” Kate shrugged. “But if it’s what you want, go for it. Just be careful.”
“I will,” she promised. “Honestly, I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before. It’s the perfect way to find someone compatible.” At Kate’s frown, she continued, “I’m tired of going on a first date and realizing five minutes in that we have absolutely nothing in common. At least, by filling out a profile and being able to view theirs, I can see that we do indeed share interests. I know exactly what I’m looking for and can contact men based on that.”
“God, you sound like you’re shopping for an appliance.”
“How is it any different?” Maggie argued. “I’m looking for someone to spend my life with, a whole lot longer than I’d have an appliance, so why shouldn’t I have a list of requirements and base my selection on that?”
Kate pressed her lips together a moment before responding. “What about chemistry? How can you possibly know from an online profile whether there will be a spark, an attraction?”
“It’s not like I’m agreeing to marry the person without meeting him.” Maggie rolled her eyes. “I’d still be dating them, for crying out loud. I just see it as avoiding the men who are obviously not what I want in a partner.” She glanced out the window. “Besides, chemistry is overrated.”
Kate snorted. “Are you kidding me? How many times while I was dating Ray did you ride me about the lack of chemistry between us? You told me that a relationship that didn’t have that spark was doomed from the start.”
“Yeah, well, I’m entitled to change my mind. I’m not saying it’s not a factor, but there are other things to consider. And, clearly the two of you weren’t that compatible because you’re marrying my brother.”
“Which only proves what you said before, because we definitely have chemistry,” Kate drawled. “Can’t keep our hands off each other.”
“Ew, don’t make me visualize that.” Maggie made gagging noises as Kate laughed.
“I just want you to be happy,” Kate said after a few minutes of silence. “And if this is the route to your happiness, so be it.”
“Thanks,” Maggie murmured.
“By the way, your mom wants everyone over for dinner tonight. I know you live there but figured you should have a head’s up that the troops are descending. Sean’s guests are leaving today so he’ll be there. And I think she told Cal to bring Spence too.”
“Spencer?” Maggie said with a squeak.
Kate shot her a quick glance. “Yeah, don’t know why that’s surprising. Your mom would be horrified if Cal came to dinner and left his friend to fend for himself. You know how she is.”
“Of course. I just… Well, I didn’t think…” She trailed off and snapped her mouth shut before she said anything damning. The last thing she needed was Kate suspicious. Again, guilt pricked at her, but telling Kate about what had happened the night before wouldn’t accomplish anything. And she was sure to tell Gabe, and who knew how big brother would react to that. God, what if he told Cal and… No, it was definitely better to keep this mistake to herself.
After a few minutes of silence, Kate spoke. “Spence has been the topic of conversation with the ladies around town. Pam at the post office is already bugging Cal to set her up with him.”
Maggie bit the inside of her cheek to keep from snarling. It wasn’t her business who Spencer saw or didn’t. Though, damn, he could do better than Pam. That woman went through men like water—screwed them, drained them then jumped to the next.
“Cal said she wasn’t his type though,” Kate continued. “I’d imagine he’d go for the arty type. You know, someone he was compatible with.”
Maggie looked at her friend and gritted her teeth at the smirk curving Kate’s lips. Damn it, she suspected something.
“I’d imagine you’re right,” Maggie said tightly, praying Kate would just drop it.
No such luck.
“I’d also imagine whoever he was with wouldn’t have any issue with that spark of attraction.” Kate shook her head. “I said it before, he’s a hottie.”
“Says the pregnant woman getting married in a few days,” Maggie snapped.
“I’m
not dead. I can appreciate a good-looking man.”
“I’m sure Gabe would love to discuss that with you.” She looked out the window again.
“What’s the matter?” Kate asked quietly. “Did something happen last night when he drove you home?”
“Of course not. You’re right, he’s a hot guy, and he’s very nice.”
“Fine.”
Maggie glanced over at the sharp tone and sighed. “All right, you win. I find him very attractive. You happy now?”
“Don’t try to placate me.” Kate cut a hand through the air in a frustrated gesture. “Why don’t you talk to me anymore? Other than wedding plans, we don’t talk. I can’t stand it.”
Tears stung Maggie’s eyes. She knew what Kate said was true, but she’d figured her friend would be so involved and focused on her upcoming marriage—and now, the baby—that she wouldn’t notice.
“Honey, you’re getting married, and it’s stressful,” she began.
“Yeah, and I’m pregnant and a hormonal mess, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t notice when my best friend is pulling away from me. And it doesn’t make it hurt any less.” Kate’s voice broke slightly. “Are you upset that Gabe and I are together? I know you didn’t like the idea of it before and—”
“No! I meant what I said last night—I wasn’t that drunk,” she said with a short laugh. “You two really are perfect for each other. I couldn’t imagine anyone else for you now.”
“Then what is it? Did I say something to piss you off?”
“You didn’t say or do anything, I promise.” She inhaled deeply then sighed. Maybe it was the time for a portion of the truth. “Seeing how happy you guys are makes me realize that I’m not. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not unhappy. I just feel like there is something missing. Someone. I want to have that someone to come home to and share things with.” She shrugged.
“The wedding planning must be driving you nuts.” Kate’s brow furrowed slightly.
“It’s not,” Maggie insisted. “Please don’t worry about me, okay? I want to focus on your wedding and helping you make it the perfect day. After that, I’ll focus on me.”
Kate nodded then glanced over. “And Spence?”
Maggie’s stomach knotted. “What about him?”
“There’s nothing there? Your reaction to what I said… Just seemed like there might be something.”
“Do I find him attractive? Yeah. As you said, I’m not dead, or blind. I can appreciate a good-looking man too. But that’s all there is. A distant appreciation,” Maggie lied. “There would be no compatibility with him. He’s too much like Cal.”
Kate laughed. “I suppose you’re right. You’d be more likely to kill than kiss each other!”
“Exactly,” Maggie said guiltily. She struggled not to think of the man’s kisses as Kate turned the conversation toward family and wedding matters. And failed miserably.
Chapter Four
“Come on, man. Let’s go.”
Spence looked up from his sketchpad, away from yet another drawing of Maggie. Cal crouched by the door tying his shoes.
“Dinner at Mom’s,” Cal reminded pointedly.
Spence flicked his gaze toward the clock and grimaced as he realized he’d zoned out the last couple of hours. “Look, I don’t know if I should crash another family dinner. I can just order in or grab a bite at the diner.”
“Hell, no. Mom would kick my ass. She specifically invited you. So you’re coming.” He straightened to his full height and narrowed his eyes. “Is there a reason you don’t want to come?”
With a sigh, Spence closed the sketchpad and set it aside. “What possible reason could there be?” He bent over and grabbed his shoes to put on.
“Oh, I don’t know. Did something happen with my sister last night? You’ve been awfully quiet about the whole thing.”
“What the hell do you want me to say? Shall I wax poetic over how I drove her home?” He quickly tied the sneakers and stood.
Cal just shook his head in response. “I’ll drive. Let’s go.”
Blessedly, the ride to the Monroe house was quiet and without questions. If it were any other woman, Spence would probably tell Cal everything, but Christ, it was the man’s sister. What would he say? Dude, your sister gives good head, and her pussy tastes like heaven. Yeah, that’d go over just great, he was sure.
When they pulled up to the house, he figured everyone else was there by the cars filling the driveway. He took a deep breath and got out of the vehicle. Honestly, he had no idea what to expect with Maggie. It wasn’t exactly his MO to get intimately involved with a woman so quickly. And while, she’d been far from protesting, they didn’t know each other. What little they did know didn’t bode well for anything beyond the physical. Over dinner the night before, she’d made it painfully clear what she thought of his chosen career. That, right there, spoke volumes on how they’d get along. Though, he’d be lying if he said he didn’t want to get to know her better—in every way. And the old adage “opposites attract” was around for a reason. Well, he just had to see how Maggie behaved and follow her cues.
He climbed the steps behind Cal. As soon as he set foot inside, he heard the loud voices from the rear of the house. Cal chuckled and motioned for him to follow. Entering the large bright room, Spence couldn’t help but wish he had his pad and pencils. The family gathered around while Mom cooked dinner. It was a beautiful sight—albeit a foreign one for Spence as an only child.
“There you are,” Angela Monroe exclaimed, wiping her hands on a dish towel.
“Welcome home, Mom. Sorry we’re late. It’s totally Spence’s fault.” Cal walked up and hugged the older woman, who swatted him with the towel then turned to Spence.
“It’s good to see you again.” She pulled him into a tight embrace, surprising him.
He’d met her once before, in LA, soon after his parents died, when he’d been visiting her sons to escape. She’d been nice to him, but he hadn’t expected such a warm welcome from her now.
“Good to see you too.” He pulled away awkwardly.
“Supper is almost ready. All of you can get the table set while I finish up in here,” she ordered.
Cal laughed and gave Spence a light punch in the arm. “Welcome to the fam, dude.” Then, grabbing a basket with cutlery in it from the island, he motioned for Spence to follow him.
In the adjoining dining room, he started laying the silverware at each place, glancing up when Maggie and Kate came in bearing plates and the other two Monroe brothers entered balancing glasses. They all talked to and over each other, punctuated with laughter and good-natured ribbing. Spence kept silent and just took it all in. He caught Maggie’s gaze when she was directly across from him. She stared at him a moment, frozen. He smiled, but she just flushed and turned away.
So, that was how it was going to be? Cold shoulder. Before he could ponder how he felt about that, Mrs. Monroe called from the kitchen.
“Spence? Could you help me in here please?”
Cal laughed again as Spence strode back into the kitchen.
“Yes, ma’am?”
She planted her hands on her hips and smiled. “I know trying to get you to not call me ‘ma’am’ is a futile task.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Her smile grew into to a grin. “All right then. Could you please bring this to the table?” She held out a platter of fried chicken.
“Smells delicious…ma’am.”
“Get on with you, and come back for the other dishes. Sassy as my boys,” she muttered, turning back toward the stove.
Back and forth he went, carrying the steaming bowls and platters in until everything was settled on the table. Once everyone was seated and Mrs. Monroe had offered grace, conversation exploded once again. After a few minutes, Kate, who was seated next to him, leaned over.
“You get used to it,” she whispered. “The volume and the craziness.”
“If you say so,” he drawled, shaking his head. While the family d
ynamics were fascinating to him, his mind was on the woman sitting across from him. And she wouldn’t even look him in the eye.
He couldn’t deny the disappointment he felt. He watched as she talked to Sean. The way she fiddled with her silverware as she listened had Spence thinking of how those slim fingers had felt on his skin, sliding up and down his cock. He shifted uncomfortably and turned to Kate, finding the woman staring at him intently. She glanced at Maggie then back at him, brow lifted.
He fumbled for something to say. “How have you been feeling?” he asked. “Any morning sickness?”
She pressed her lips together briefly. “A little bit, but not too bad, thankfully. Mostly, I’ve just felt really tired.”
“Doesn’t help that you have a wedding to plan, I suppose?”
She laughed. “Luckily, I haven’t had to stress out about it. Between everyone in the family, I’ve had it easy.” Narrowing her eyes, she added, “Maggie, especially, has been a total blessing with the planning and pulling everything together.”
He shifted his gaze toward the woman in question and found her watching her friend with a frown. “Lucky for you.”
“Isn’t it?” Kate said happily.
“So, Mags, got any hot dates lined up yet?”
Maggie looked at Gabe, startled, then glared at Kate.
“What? You didn’t say not to tell him about it,” Kate pointed out. “If you had, I’d have kept my mouth shut.”
“About what?” Cal asked curiously. “You seeing someone?” He glanced at Spence, and Maggie felt her cheeks heat.
Sometimes she hated being part of a large, involved family.
“No, I’m not seeing anyone,” she answered tightly.
“Not yet, but just wait, you’ll have them lined up in no time. You’re a catch,” Gabe teased.
Through her annoyance, Maggie couldn’t stop the happiness she felt that her oldest brother was teasing her. They hadn’t been close at all, and when he’d moved back home the year before, things between them had been anything but cordial. But, over the past year, they’d actually become friends. That he felt comfortable enough to rib her was almost enough to erase the irritation. Almost.
Losing Control Page 4