Losing Control

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Losing Control Page 5

by Jarman, Jessica


  “What are you talking about?” Cal exclaimed.

  “Maggie’s decided to find a guy online,” Gabe informed, chuckling.

  “Gabe,” Kate said wearily.

  “Is it a secret?” he asked innocently. “Why wouldn’t she want her family to know what she’s doing?”

  Maggie drew in a deep breath and counted to ten. She shifted her gaze toward Spence and met his. He leaned back in his chair and simply stared at her, mouth curved into a small smile. Her cheeks heated even more.

  “It’s not a secret,” she snapped. “I just didn’t feel the need to announce my plans to everyone. It’s hardly your business who I date and how I get those dates.”

  “Of course it’s our business,” Cal said with a laugh. “Any man who ends up with you has to deal with us.”

  “Damn straight,” Gabe agreed.

  “And gain our approval.” Sean nodded.

  “Boys,” their mother said in warning. “Leave your sister alone.”

  “But, Mom,” Cal protested, “you don’t want her ending up with some loser. People lie on those profiles, you know?”

  “God, Cal, give me a little credit.” Maggie tossed her fork onto the table with a clang. “I’m not going to marry the first person who responds or anything.”

  “Cal, Sean, Gabe, you can clear the table,” Angela said. “There will be no more discussing Maggie’s love life unless she brings it up.”

  “Yes, Mom,” the three brothers chorused as they stood.

  Maggie rolled her eyes. Yeah, that would last until their mother wasn’t around. Dumbasses.

  “Sorry,” Kate said sheepishly when they guys had left the room.

  Glancing at Spence again, she was slightly disappointed that he didn’t seem at all upset at the idea that she was intent on dating other men. Other men? She shook herself mentally. It wasn’t like they were involved or anything. They’d fooled around, and from his lack of reaction, he obviously thought as she did—that it had been a mistake. Hell, he’d probably been relieved to hear about her plans, knowing she wouldn’t be trying to hang on him.

  “Really, Mags, I had no clue he was going to just blurt it out like that.” Kate shook her head. “I’ve never seen him tease you like that before.”

  “It’s okay,” Maggie said begrudgingly. “It was bound to happen whenever they found out, so it’s better to get it all over with now.” Though she knew full well it was far from over.

  When the guys came in to gather more dishes, Gabe gave her a little nudge and grin, and she chuckled. Dumbasses, she thought again, but they were her dumbasses.

  “Gabe, start the coffee, please.” Their mother stood. “Let’s go sit outside; it’s a gorgeous night. Kate,” the older woman wrapped an arm about her shoulders, “you can bring me up to date with the wedding preparations.”

  Maggie stayed where she was a moment then rose as the other women left the room. Spence followed suit. For the moment, they were alone.

  “Do I need to apologize for…” she gestured at the table, “any of that?”

  “Why would you need to?” he asked.

  Why indeed? She kicked herself.

  “You shouldn’t have to apologize for someone else’s behavior. Besides, they seemed like they were just acting out of concern. In a brotherly fashion, yes, but out of concern.” He smiled broadly. “And I know several couples who met online and are very happy together.”

  With that, he walked out of the room, leaving Maggie gaping at the empty doorway.

  * * * *

  Maggie slid into the booth across from Cal, weariness weighing on her. They’d made it through the wedding rehearsal and the dinner that followed. She stifled a yawn. She’d have one beer then head back home. Gabe was dropping their mom and Kate off before meeting the guys here for his last night as a single man.

  “You’ll be lucky if Kate’s still awake by the time you get home,” Sean said, setting three beers on the table before sitting beside Cal. “She looked exhausted.”

  “That’d be fine by me. We have to get up early anyway.” Maggie took a long draw and hummed in pleasure as the cool liquid hit her throat. “You guys have anything big planned tonight?”

  “Nah, Gabe doesn’t want a wild stag night.” Cal shook his head with a pout. “So we’ll just hang here, have a few, maybe play a few games of pool then go crash at his place.”

  “Spence coming by?” Sean asked.

  Maggie’s heart skipped. She hadn’t seen Spence since the night he’d come to dinner with the family. That night had been insanely awkward—at least for her. He, on the other hand, had looked absolutely at ease with everything and everyone. Maggie had forced herself to have a cup of coffee and dessert out on the patio before begging off to go to bed. The past few days she’d done a pretty awesome job of avoiding him. At least in person. He managed to invade her thoughts, and even her dreams, often enough.

  “Yeah, he’ll be here in a bit.”

  Maggie took another long drink. With any luck, she could finish her beer and head home before he showed.

  “In a hurry there, Mags?” Cal pinned her with a stare.

  “Hmm? Just tired, that’s all. My bed is calling me,” she said lightly.

  “Yeah, right. You’re going to have to see him eventually,” he commented knowingly.

  Sean looked between the two, opened his mouth then seemed to change his mind. Instead, he leaned back and lifted his bottle to his lips.

  “What are you talking about?” she snapped.

  “Please. Try it on someone who doesn’t know you. You’ve been avoiding Spence. I don’t know why, but I know you have. If you care to know, he’s none too happy about it.”

  “I’m not avoiding him,” she lied. “And what he is happy about has no bearing whatsoever on me.”

  “You’ll have to see him eventually,” he repeated.

  She knew he was right. There was no way she could avoid him at the wedding, but she certainly didn’t have to say more than a few words to him to be polite. Then she could go back to her evasion until he left town and headed back where he’d come from.

  “He isn’t going anywhere, Mags,” Cal said, as though reading her thoughts. “He’s moving here.”

  “What?” She shook her head. “Why would he—” Cal’s grin had her stopping short.

  “He’s helping me with the gallery,” he informed. “And has even agreed to teach a class or two.”

  “Helping you? Are you serious? Is that a good idea?” she asked.

  “For someone who doesn’t give a damn about a man, you’re awfully curious about what he’s up to,” Sean pointed out.

  “Oh shut up. It has nothing to do with Spencer and everything to do with Cal.” She didn’t want to have them thinking she was interested in the man, but God, the news that he was staying in town—indefinitely—rocked her to her core. There was only so much evading one could do in a small community. Sure, she’d managed it for a short time, but long term, no way. Being friends with Cal, and involved with his business, Spencer would be even more difficult to stay away from.

  “What about me, Mags?” Cal sighed.

  “Well, you’re financing the business, the renovations, everything. What is he contributing, exactly? He’s going to teach a class? Big deal. Will he be living there rent free? Have studio space that normally he’d have to pay for? From where I’m standing, he has all the advantages, while you’re taking all the risks.”

  Cal’s mouth dropped open. “I can’t believe you—”

  “It’s one thing to help a friend out periodically. That’s admirable, in fact.” Maggie kept on going. “But to let someone, friend or not, freeload off of you indefinitely? Not a smart move in anyone’s book.”

  “I agree.”

  The hair on the back of her neck stood up as a familiar voice came from behind her. God, oh God, no.

  Cal looked horrified, his gaze bouncing from her, up, and back. “Shit, Spence…”

  Maggie turned slowly, and felt
the blood drain from her face when she tilted her head up and looked Spencer in the eye. She opened her mouth to speak, but came up short. What the hell could she say if he’d heard all that?

  “I’m going to grab a drink,” he said tersely. He turned on his heel and walked away.

  “You need to go apologize. Mags? Really, you need to apologize for that. You had no right to talk about him that way. He’s my friend, dammit, and you… My God, what is wrong with you?”

  She looked at her brothers and shook her head dumbly. “I didn’t know he was there. Did he…”

  “Oh, he heard it all,” Sean drawled. “Every last word.”

  Maggie swallowed hard then scooted out of the booth. She pulled some money of her wallet and put it on the table. “I’ll, um, see you tomorrow.”

  Taking a deep breath, she turned toward the bar and walked up behind where Spencer stood. She tapped him gently on the shoulder.

  “Spencer?”

  She cringed when he turned around. The cold look on his face pierced her to the core.

  “I’m sorry. I had no right to say those things.”

  “Whatever.” He shrugged one shoulder. “You’re trying to look out for your brother. It’s cool.”

  “No, it’s not,” she protested. “I mean, yes, I want to look out for my brother, of course. But I shouldn’t have been so harsh. There’s no excuse for that. I don’t even know you, and—”

  “No,” he interrupted, “you don’t, and you’ve made it pretty clear that you don’t want to. So no worries, Maggie. Just leave it.” He turned away and Maggie stared at his back.

  Horrified, her vision blurred, and she blinked back tears. Before she broke down, she pivoted and hurried from the bar without looking back. She managed to get to her car and drive home, but once she parked and turned off the vehicle, she couldn’t hold it back anymore. Tears streamed down her face, and she rested her head against the wheel.

  He must think she was completely unfeeling. She knew she put up a cold exterior sometimes, but it didn’t mean she didn’t care. God, she did. More than she wanted to. About Spence and what he thought.

  She sat up and dug in her purse for a tissue to dry her face. Flipping the mirror on the visor down, she inspected her reflection. Her eyes were a bit red, but if she could sneak into the bathroom before she saw her mom or Kate, she could splash some cool water on her face and pull herself together. Exiting the car, she walked up to the house and entered. The house was dark except a light in the living room. Her mom glanced up from where she sat on the couch, book in her lap. Maggie was grateful for the dimness of the hallway, because her mother would zero in on the evidence of her crying in no time flat.

  “Kate’s in Gabe’s old room. I suspect she’s sound asleep by now, poor thing.”

  Maggie nodded. “I’m going to head up myself. We have an early morning.” They had appointments at the resort’s spa and salon for some pampering before having to get their hair done for the wedding.

  “Okay, hon. Sleep well.”

  “Night, Mom,” she murmured and hurried up to her room. Once she’d cleaned up and stripped down, she climbed into bed gratefully. Closing her eyes, she immediately thought of Spencer. Her breath hitched, and she curled up into a ball. God, it was going to be a long night.

  Grasping the cold bottle, Spence strode to the booth and sat across from the brothers.

  “Spence—”

  He held his hand up to stop Cal. “Don’t apologize or anything. It’s fine.”

  “”Hardly.” Cal shook his head and took a drink. “I wish you’d just let me tell her exactly how much you're investing. You’re a full partner in this, and it isn’t fair that you’d get slammed because people don’t know that.

  “Silent partner,” Spence reminded him.

  “Yeah, but if Maggie knew, it’d clear up any misconceptions. If she knew how successful you really were…”

  “All she has to do is ask.” He shrugged. “Have a real, honest conversation, which she clearly doesn’t have any interest in doing.”

  “What’s going on between the two of you anyway?” Sean asked, leaning forward to rest his forearms on the table.

  “Nothing.” Clearly.

  “Seems to be a whole lot of something to be nothing,” Sean observed.

  Cal nodded, and Spence cursed inwardly. Like a fucking dog with a bone, this one.

  “Can we just drop it?” he asked wearily.

  “Drop what?” Gabe lowered himself onto the bench beside Spence.

  “Nothing,” he bit out. Maybe if he said it enough, they'd believe it. Maybe he would.

  “Sounds like something,” Gabe said, causing his brothers to burst out laughing.

  “Look, tonight is about this guy.” Spence clapped Gabe on the shoulder. “Can we just drink and play some pool? Table’s open.” He nodded toward the back of the pub.

  Gabe nodded and stood. “Sure, man. I’ll just get us a round. You guys go rack the balls.”

  “You’re not paying tonight, dumbass.” Sean jumped up and followed his brother.

  Spence rose, and Cal stopped him before he could make his way to the pool table.

  “I know Maggie can be harsh. Hell, she was harsh, but that’s not her, if you know what I mean. She puts up this tough outer shell, but inside she’s mush. She just can’t stand to let anyone see her vulnerable side. She doesn’t even let it out around family that much.”

  Spence thought back to that first night when he’d driven Maggie home. She’d opened up to him then and had shown that vulnerable side—albeit with the aid of some wine.

  Cal glanced toward the bar, and leaned in to speak softly. “I know you care about her. You may not know her very well, but there’s something there. If there wasn’t, you wouldn’t be filling your sketchbooks with her face.” He lifted a brow, and when Spence said nothing, he continued. “And I’ll let you in on a little secret—if Maggie didn’t care about you, she wouldn’t be protesting so much. You wouldn’t be worth the effort if you meant nothing. Trust me. I do know her, probably better than anyone, save Kate. If Maggie is having a strong reaction to you, you can guarantee there are strong emotions underneath.”

  “Not all emotions are good,” Spence pointed out.

  “True, but you guys don’t know each other well enough to know if they’re good or bad. You have to decide if it’s worth it to push her into exploring that. ‘Cause sometimes Mags needs a nudge.” Cal jerked his head toward the pool table and the friends made their way back. They began racking the balls when he spoke again. “Just promise me you’ll think about it.”

  Spence nodded. Oh, he’d think about it. Maggie hadn’t been far from his thoughts since he’d first laid eyes on her. This just added another layer to it. So yeah, the thinking wasn’t the problem. If he could only figure out what to do.

  Chapter Five

  Maggie stood next to Cal and watched Kate and Gabe dance for the first time as a married couple. She sniffed, and Cal wrapped his arm around her and gave her a squeeze.

  “You’re still thinking about Dad,” he said knowingly.

  “I just wish he was here. He’d have walked Kate down the aisle.” She smiled at the thought. He’d have gladly stepped into the role since Kate had never known her father. Maggie could just picture him in his tux, beaming as his oldest son and the woman he considered a daughter took their vows.

  “I know. Though Sean was thrilled to take that duty.”

  “Yeah,” she murmured.

  “Have you talked to Spence yet today?” he asked.

  She sent him a sidelong look. “No. I don’t think he’s too keen to have me around after last night.”

  “I think you’d be surprised.” Cal chuckled. “Oh, I’m sure he was pissed enough, but the great thing about Spence? He doesn’t hold a grudge, and once he’s had time to cool off, he’s pretty damned understanding. And forgiving.”

  “And you’re selling him awfully hard,” she said, narrowing her eyes.

&nbs
p; “I don’t know what you mean.” He grinned. “You’re a big girl; you can find your own guys. Just don’t pass over the ones right in front of you for some online profile.”

  “Cal.” Maggie sighed. She knew the online dating thing was going to come up again.

  “It’s just a piece of advice, that’s all. You can take it or leave it.” He looked past her and his grin widened. “See? Forgiving.”

  Before she could ask what he meant, Spence stepped into her line of vision. He nodded at Cal then focused those intense blue-gray eyes on her.

  “Dance?” He held his hand out, palm up.

  Maggie’s stomach did a little flip, and her heart quickened. After glancing at her brother, she nodded and took Spence’s hand. She breathed deeply a few times as he lead her onto the dance floor, which was pointless, because she lost the ability to breathe altogether when he pulled her into his arms. She couldn’t help but think how well they fit together. Damn, he was making it harder and harder to remember what she was actually looking for in a guy. Physical chemistry only took you so far in a relationship.

  His fingers flexed on her hips, and Maggie’s eyes drifted shut at the delicious pressure. She gave into temptation and rested her head on his shoulder as they swayed to the music. God, what was it about him that made her want to throw caution to the wind and herself into his arms? She prided herself on always being in control, of always knowing what she wanted, but just being around Spencer made her mind turn to mush. And made her body ache for him.

  “I can’t stop thinking about you,” he murmured.

  “You mean the way I consistently manage to put my foot in my mouth around you.”

  A laugh rumbled from his chest. “Nah.”

  She lifted her head and met his gaze. “About last night, what I said… I had no right to say any of that. I don’t know why I did, really. I just—”

  “Don’t worry about it,” he cut her off. “I get it. Really. You’re worried about Cal and that I may be taking advantage of him. You don’t know me all that well, so I can understand where you’re coming from, I guess.”

 

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